November 7, 1997 ééFeatures page 4 ~" N OCTOBER 29TH. 1997, Jim Webber, Co~edi~ tor in Chief , Rachel Selle, News Editor. and Stephanie Palmquist, Photo Editor of the Augsburg Echo packed all their belongings into Jim‘s car and head— ed to the Windy City of Chicago Illinois for the National... Show moreNovember 7, 1997 ééFeatures page 4 ~" N OCTOBER 29TH. 1997, Jim Webber, Co~edi~ tor in Chief , Rachel Selle, News Editor. and Stephanie Palmquist, Photo Editor of the Augsburg Echo packed all their belongings into Jim‘s car and head— ed to the Windy City of Chicago Illinois for the National College Media Convention. After driving approximately seven hours. they arrived at the Sheraton Hotel. only to find that their room had been given to someone else. Jim haggled with the manager and got them a room in the executive suite section of the hotel. After waiting an hour for blankets, the three editors were not impressed with the Sheraton. The following morning Jim. Rachel. and Stephanie went their separate ways and attended many educational sessions on college media. While Jim and Rachel focused on improving the writing and lay-out of the newspaper. Stephanie learn how to improve the quality of the photographs. The editors attended sessions until five o'clock, and then were free to explore the city. It was eight o‘clock in the Windy City, and the Echo editors were ready for a night on the town. Jim, Rachel. and Stephanie wandered about downtown Chicago looking for a place to eat. They stumbled PHOTOGRAPHIC ESSAY by Stephanie Palmquist upon Gino's Restaurant, a hole in the wall that sewed great pizza. The waiter handed Rachel a bottle of white-out and told her to make her mark. She proceeded to add the Echo to the many names and tags that graced the walls of Gino's Restaurant (Top Right). As the Echo editors prepared to leave. Wex the Waiterjumped in for a picture (Bottom Middle). After leaving Gino‘s, Jim, Rachel, and Stephanie meandered down the Magnificent Mile (Michigan Avenue). Rachel and Jim patient- ly waited when Stephanie stopped every block to take pictures of the Chicago Tribune (Bottom Left). She even managed to take a decent shot of a boat cruising towards Lake Michigan (Bottom Right). Another fine dining experience was had at Ed Debevic’s Restaurant, where the waiter was dressod as a hokey cheerleader for Halloween. His favorite activities tended to be throwing food and snuggling with the girls in the next booth. He and his friends did a lovely dance on the counter top (Middle Right). although they were not good enough to get any tips. Of course, a trip to Chicago is not complete without a visit to the famous monuments, museums. and fountains along the waterfront. Jim, Stephanie. and Rachel stopped at the statue of Abraham Lincoln (Top Left). as well as the Buckingham Fountain (Middle Left). Not only did they tour Chicago and take in these works of art, they even learned a few things at the journalism conference to improve the newspaper. Show less
November 7, 1997 é’éFeatures page 3 First in a Series: Minnesota Authors Cass Dalglish, wri ter/ poet/ professor, delivers humor, emphasis on history ““"b§3fi'wefisei _9-:E$'t9,r, inchief , High Farce Iflaughing did not seem such a lowbrow activity to our stolid faculty I think I'd do it more often... Show moreNovember 7, 1997 é’éFeatures page 3 First in a Series: Minnesota Authors Cass Dalglish, wri ter/ poet/ professor, delivers humor, emphasis on history ““"b§3fi'wefisei _9-:E$'t9,r, inchief , High Farce Iflaughing did not seem such a lowbrow activity to our stolid faculty I think I'd do it more often. So when given the chance to laugh a bit—even cackle—I leapt at the opportunity. Without shame. Cass Dalglish. professor of English and author/poet. brings back some of the class to laughter as one of three writers to start the Minnesota Authors' Series. The series. which meets in the Gage Family Art Gallery of the Lindell Library. featured Dalglish. professor Roseann Lloyd. and Star Tribune Books Editor Dave Wood at its first reading. Every three weeks the series features another author or authors. But Dalglish brought more than laughter to the series. She read from her unpublished fic- tion dissertation project Mair! Wind F mm the North. which she describes as a “reminder of women's history.“ Her story follows a writer/poet/scholar whose path of scholarship begins in opposition to her father and leads to the exploration of her dead mother‘s work. In the process she meets many dead women and their works. most of whom/which are obscure or unknown. It is fitting for Dalglish to awaken such themes. for she too has explored women's work. She majored in Spanish Language and Literature with a minor in Journalism at the College of St. Catherine. but since the college did not offer a distinct Journalism program. she took several courses at the University of St. Thomas. She recalls being referred to as one of the first three “non—males“ in the program. “Ifyou look back into their literature. you can see that they called people non-males." she said leaning forward in her chair with eyes wide. “So they‘ve advanced some." After graduation Dalglish worked at a local newspaper. served in the Peace Corps in Bogota. Colombia. and wrote her own public relations and advertising copy. She also did PR writing for Minneapolis Public Schools. “But every once in a while I get the feeling that I'm writing honestly." Dalglish said. “And when I get that feeling I change careers. So then I thought to be an honest writer I had to be a journalist." She received a Bush Fellowship and went back to school in broadcast journalism. Dalglish then took an intemship at KSTP (I\vin Cities Channel 5). where she worked until 1981. “Among other things that happened. I had a feeling about this honesty in writing thing and I wanted to write fiction.“ she said. So then she earned an Master of Fine Arts degree in fiction at Vermont College . and then began teaching at Augsburg and writing fiction circa 1986. Then she wanted to go back to the earliest women's writing. and this led her to the earliest writing itself. “If the spiritual feminists say that God was a woman. a woman wn proba~ bly also the editor." Dalglish said. “So I went back and I found some women's texts. In fact. the first signed text in the history of the world was signed by a woman. Sol began trans- lating her works from Cuneiform. and that's sort of my passion." This translation project led to a doctorate in Creative Writing with an emphasis in ancient women‘s writing. Head, Hands, Paper (Writing process) She noted that the action of committing words to a page—something she learned in jour- nalism—and a general sense of story have very strongly shaped the way she writes. “The most significant impact ofjoumalism on my writing process was the realization that unless you sit down at a keyboard you never are really a writer." Dalglish said. “The writer is the person who writes. not the person who talks about it." The physical action of committing words to paper as a realization of thoughts. to the move- ment of fingers. to the impression of letters on paper is something that still fascinates Dalglish. She describes writing as the only activity in which you can move your fingers over a key- board. and eventually something will come. (“The key then is to be able to go back and sift through it." she adds.) On the writing process. Dalglish said her chief effort in every story is to identify with her characters closely. “Especially in Moist Wmdfmm the North there is a fine line between fiction and non—fiction." she said. “It's a genre with tentacles that reach out into other gen- res because when I bring women characters into the story I have made every attempt to be true to their own time. their own contexts. and their own themes. droughts. and work. I try to use the metaphors and feelings that were important to them when they were alive." Dalglish hastened to note that the most important work in her humor is the sense of history. She adds. "most of us don‘t know the first writer was a woman. Our minds don't work that way. We assume it was a man." But it wasn't. and this time Dalglish ensures that we won‘t forget it. Profesror Cars Dalglish read from her fiction work Moist Wind From the North at the Minnesota Writer’s Sen'er. Photo: Hanne Anderson of my life." Wayfarer; Gabriel "7 ’ 42i§E§it9L,, , , , Therapy. Student Focus: Kristen Kent Junior, Music Therapy 1 ; RlSTEN KENT is a Music Therapy major with a minor her voice to be her most precious commodity. She loves to sing and performs in various activities around campus. her favorite activity being the Augsburg Gospel Praise Ensemble. Kristen recently toured to New Orleans with the gospel/jazz group where she sang in front of 40.000 people. She commented that it “was one of the greatest and most memorable experiences focus in Religion and Philosophy. She is a proud and ' lented member of the Augsburg choir and considers Kristen is deeply in love with her major and works around the area at various hospitals and nursing homes. She loves work- ing with the mentally ill and hopes to one day focus on the crim- inal mind. In her stories about her patients and clients. she‘s both humorous and heartwamiing. but most importantly. sin- cere. She hopes people begin to understand the importance of music as a therapeutic medium and realize the vast amount of treatment possibilities there are in Music Kristen enjoys spending time with her friends and reading. She sings a lot. and when she isn't singing. she is most likely studying music. When asked what her favorite song was. she said. “without a doubt. ‘Love is in the Air.’ which I learned with a good friend in New Orleans.“ If Kristen could have one wish. it would be for “the napkins to keep flying and the people to keep singing.“ Kristen hopes students at Augsburg take advantage of the “real life opportunities" that the "Min Cities have to offer. How Smart is Augsburg? (Who belongs here?) b David Asp tafi" Writer dents :trc'.’ Do you ever doubt that one of your colleagues Is HOW OFTEN DO YOU THINK about how smnn your fellow stua Augsburg material? With record numbers of students being admitted each year. the question needs to he rzuscd of how qualified incoming first—year students are. Are all of those students qualified or are some below average. admitted only to pay tuition? The average first-year students coming into Augsburg this year had a high school grade point average of}. 14 and an ACT score of 22.6. It would appear that nationally. Augsburg is not badly off. The mean ACT score for incoming freshman between [991-1996 was 20.9. Part ofAugsburg's advantage could be because 83% of students in this year's freshman class hail from either Minnesota or Wisconsin. where ACT scores are the highest in the nation. However. comparing these to other area colleges like Hamline where the middle 50% ranges ACT is 22—28 or Macalester where their average incoming freshman have average scores between 28-31. our scores seem low. These were the only two schools researched that have their scores posted on the Internet. and both of them have a natural udvzurtage over Augsburg in that they have enough money coming in from donations that they can afford to be selective. See Academics on page 7 Show less
8° Pi November 7, 1997 *-’ The Fishwich Swims Again: Disney Re-Releases Deep-sea Gem Thanks to you. all sorts #gcci” , g of everyday productn are by Aaron Gabriel weekend. as Fox 5 fall surprise - A&E Editor Anastasm . the flamboyant fish belnq made mm the paper. -MV W '77 7 fl 7 W W Fell”: “de- a... Show more8° Pi November 7, 1997 *-’ The Fishwich Swims Again: Disney Re-Releases Deep-sea Gem Thanks to you. all sorts #gcci” , g of everyday productn are by Aaron Gabriel weekend. as Fox 5 fall surprise - A&E Editor Anastasm . the flamboyant fish belnq made mm the paper. -MV W '77 7 fl 7 W W Fell”: “de- a pal-11mm“ wave bHCk 1 plastic, metal and qlnfm mm In 0 mencan cu ture. The Little Mermaid ‘ you've been rPL'yCltnq Looking at the original headshoLs of the "voices" of ‘Mermaid's' swarm of delightful fabrications. I am reminded of the power of the trained voice as opposed to “the biggest name". At times. thinking back to Demi Moore or Mel Gibson, I can‘t believe how top~ heavy Disney can get, sacnficing an for intrigue wheii art is what they so "outwardly" focused on. Any crit- icisnts or judgments on the compa- ny are surely indelible due to the nature of the material. and deservedly so Look at the I‘NS. Re-release Date: November 14. 1997 FOR THE FIRST TIME in eight years. Disney is re—releasing the Workth to iwip prom-i in.» film that sent the company to cash cow heaven. Originally. it caused a huge revival among studio heads because of it's incredible and overwhelming popular musical tastes. lts score. composed by Alan Menken. with lyrics by the late Howard Ashman. was genuine. rollick— ing and stunningly perceptive. lt stole the Oscars for Best Original Song and Best Original Score and went on to become the vehicle for Menken six successive wins. "The Little Mermaid“ survives! lt re- emerges at a time when people are afraid of Cartoon Power and the dark and humanistic turn children‘s fables have been taking Opening the same cnvirortmrnl, you nvwl to # buy thorw producni \ BUY RICYCLED. in» of his vision". Where would we be without an archetypal evil witch and an innocent maiden? Ursula flashes her winning smile, Ariel carvers, and the legend live: on. Photos: Disney Enterprises big»btidgct (big-busted) and disgustingly languid llop. ‘l’ocahoiitas' Director Mike Gabriel \\ as quoted as saying. “children needed sex appeal". l:videiit|_\. children are this en to the hos oltice h} a half naked Native Amencan girl rolling around seducing a pioneer I didn't know that. Entertainment Weekly called the film. "Disney ~s liitlian l’oni," One of the great ditlereiices between "The Little Mermaid“ rind "Beatin and the Beast". as compared to the other l)isne_v films “as the guiding force of Howard Ashnian. lynctst and ctr-producer for both films aitd one of the great creators of our time His vision and dedication are pro— foundly evident and driving. He saw that the films were all concept then fluctuation. In l9‘)|. Ashniari died ot to complications due to AIDS. At his posHiioncni Oscar acceptance speech for “Beauty and the Beast". his partner commented that he was “a Visionary. never afraid “Mcmiaid”. on another level. is what we grew tip with. At the time of its release. it was considered to be a “technological miracle". When you see it again you‘ll notice how far we've come. It's been spruced tip a bit. but keeps itself in tradition. Whether or not you're caught in the net of this scabound voyager. you should try to remember its effects on the E earlier part of our adolescence. You may just find yourself trying to be . pan of some under the sea world. And let people hear your humming. le'nwm‘Vfll AND SAVE. fttltntl. l ‘7 4‘” l l ii. [-r i1it<1~ "'le Irvtrr ll't‘.4 [of mati'rttlld Amid m roman.- ' t. ll‘l‘lxlli' Amur: at 7-:.-i ,- i.v~. This on Hi'svrr‘lw: l‘T'lt ll wr ultl "our the At‘fltl [, in m. l‘.»r a ins- brat hun- ~ i i E I . i ‘c‘nll l'BUU CALL Elll'nr ‘s Is: our ws'b Nllt'tl' vs ww cdt om l, sEPA BF by Justin Kroona A&E Writer Starship Troopers Rating: B— TARSHIP TROOPERS is the new sci-fi action film from Tri~Star pictures, It is set in S Earth's future where democracy has failed and a new Federation has taken over, In order to be a voting citizen. you must serve for two years in the Federation. The main characters are all high school fi-iends who are about to serve their two years, The main char- acter. named John Rioo, ends up in the Mobile infantry. his best friend becomes an intelli- gence officer and his girl friend goes to the academy to become a star pilot, His parents do not want him to go into the infantry so he leaves anyway. Humans have also encountered alien life. hostile alien life. The aliens are insect-like and we of course think they have no intelligence. After a band of Mormon settlers land on the alien planet and are subsequently massacred the aliens send a meteorite to strike the Earth. It hiLs Buenos Aires. the home of all of the main characters. annihilating the entire city. In response to this attack. the humans declare war on the aliens. John Rico was about to quit the Mobile Infantry when he learned of the attack so he reenlists to get revenge. Now the action tums to the war and the subsequent invasions of the alien planets. I liked this movie. But I also like most science fiction movies. It's not a classic like “Star Wars.“ but it could have been a lot worse (anyone ever seen “Dune?"). The aliens look especially good. They range from the large drone warriors to gigantic energy-spewing beetles to razor-winged flies. They used the same computer technology that was used in movies like “Spawn” and “Jurassic Park" for the aliens. The spaceships look good too and are far more realistic than the ships in other science fiction films. The action is good but is sometimes comic and it never does build up tension or start your heart pounding. The suspense is minimal and the story is predictable but it is fun to watch. The movie is also quite violent. Expect to see lots of impalings, dismembeiings, and the occasional decapitation. but hey. this is a war movie. and war is hell. The story has been seen before in the Alien movies and the much overhyped “Independence Day." but this story does it on a much larger scale than “Aliens” and does it better then There is also the mandatory love story that serves as a sideshow to the action but it is nothing too special. Overall, don't go into this movie expecting a great plot and excellent performances; the plot is nothing new and the acting is OK. but do expect to see a action packed, violent and some- times funny film. If you like science fiction or action this is a good movie to see. If you don’t like either of them. see something else. by Aaron Gabriel A&E Editor "The House of Blue Leaves“ by John (iuare presented by the Jungle Theatre Grade: A F YOU HAVEN'T HAD the opponunity to e\perience the intiiiiacies of the Jungle ITheatre. this is the perfect piece to try out. While Il may be a bigger production than the pint-sized theatre cait handle. the in»your-tace blocking and evploshe acting is a perfect fit. “The House of Blue Leaves" is gultural and disturbing with enough follies and slapstick to grab your attention. lts overwhelming sense of ensemble and excitement makes an urban American joyride perfect forcynics and optimists alike. At times. the play is presented like an action-thriller spoof. and at others a Broadway tour de force. it just doesn't have the space to provide itself with breath. About the performances: outstanding. for the most part. The choices were clearly made and representative of the play's inner sensibilities. Whenever Americana puts on the “Welcome!” pany hat. there's bound to be some farcical moments. [was awed by Rosalie Tenseth's gutsy and honest pink lcotard-udomed Bronx mama. Her manner. demeanor. gesture. and everything spoke like a stereotype from hell. And the PC police seemed gunned down at the door. If we force ourselves to greet each ethnic trend without being informed. we set ourselves up for a plethora of misdemeanors incomprehensible to a mod- ern audience. John Guare, with his stunning perception and raucous attitude. lights the dark comers of human condition and the result is laughter. misunderstanding. and heartache. Barbara Kingsley. as the addicted-to—VapoRub. loony-tune Bananas. who is forced to hide her lost identity. will crack you up and break your heart. This soul-wringing perfor- mance alone is worth the price of admission. And Bain Boehlkc. artistic director of the Jungle. is pleasing and catty. sometimes overbearing and unsympathetically stupid. but adequate overall. He holds the piece together. The lighting. mood. music and design are integral and well-constructed. Each item has a purpose and a place and every great once in a while. one forgets about the cold curb of Franklin Avenue outside. and wonders. if you got on stage and looked out the window, would you see the haunted bustle of a live New York City comer? That's the magic. l guess. Show less
November 7, 1997 13011. \\'\v\\‘ . augsbti t‘g.edtt / echo Volume 103 In this issue: 88B NOV 7m@ UG R . M titration team Jim sez what to do with chew, page 2 Cass Dalglish and high farce, page 3 The Little Mermaid Squirms, page 5 Promise Keepers Revisited, page 2 Who Belongs Here?. page 3 James G... Show moreNovember 7, 1997 13011. \\'\v\\‘ . augsbti t‘g.edtt / echo Volume 103 In this issue: 88B NOV 7m@ UG R . M titration team Jim sez what to do with chew, page 2 Cass Dalglish and high farce, page 3 The Little Mermaid Squirms, page 5 Promise Keepers Revisited, page 2 Who Belongs Here?. page 3 James G. Lindell Dedicated Photos: Public Relations Above: No small crowd gathered in the Lindell library Sunday for the building ’s dedication. At right: President Emeritus Charles Anderson greets benefactor James G. Undell while Elaine C line. Director of the Library and Information Technology, looks on. MPIRG Kee in by Laura Pe'sa Co—Editor in hief On Sutiday. November 2. the Hoversten Chapel was filled. from bottom to balcony. to officially dedicate the Jariies G. Lindell Family Library. Augsburg stu- dents. faculty. and staff. community members. con~ tributors. builders. architects. organizers and fundrais- ers all came together for this event. in order to recogniu‘. give thanks and celebrate. President William Frame commenced the ceremony by officially welcoming the large audience. In thanks to all involved with the library project he said. “The welcome I tender you here is. in fact. a statement of profound gratitude— from the College and from the world which treasures it. Thank you for the gift yoti have bestowed upon us all." The ceremony continued with various speakers reflect- ing on the process of bringing the library to our cam- pus.what it means to Us now. and where it Will take us in the future. Jacqueline Kniefel Lind. an aluniiiUs ofAugsburg. presented “The Alumni Voice." reflect- ing on what the new Liiidell Library means to alum- ni. She described the new budding as a place of “links and curves." linking the history of scholarship with future technology. linking past students with their memories. and curving towards a new future. a new change in direction. Barbara C. Gage. Chair of the Board of Regents. later kicked ofT the “Recognition and Appreciation" portion of the program. Gage praised President Emeritus Charles S. Anderson for having the courage and vision to take on the overwhelming project of funding and building the library. The President followed her touch- ing speech. receiving a standing ovation from the audi- ence. The audience. including almost twenty members of the Lindell family. then warmly welcomed James G. Lindell to the lectem Lindell spoke of his many ties to Augsburg as an alumnus. former Alumni Board member. and major benefactor. He has watched many ofhis family members follow in his educational foot steps— eight of his family members haw attended Busy Augsburg. The new library is named for him and his family. Although James Lindell Cited many reasons for his generous contribution to the library. he stated that. most imponantly. it was “for the children.“ Elaine Cline, Director of the Library and lnfonnation Technology. was the last speaker of the event. Many speakers had. throughout the ceremony. named her as the driving force in the library protect. Slie deliv- cred the first part of her “Recognition and Appreciation" speech through tears. thanking her faili- ily for supporting her through the process. and recog- niniig the people and organi/ations that made the building possible. The final presentation in the Hoversten Chapel was a Visual one; the lights dimmed. and audience mem- bers watched a Video presentation of the library's growth from a dirt pill: to thc proiiitriciit building it is today. Murmurs and sighs enipted in the chapel as pic- turcs of stale. empty rooms faded into offices. study spaces. and rows of filled bookshelves. Following the \‘ltJCtI.ll]L‘ speakers and audience mem- bers filed out of the Hovcrsten Chapel doors and head- ed. through snow and tnitnpct fanfare. to the library for the nbbon-cutting and ceremony finale. ’lhe library balconies and street lc\'e| filled wtth people as RC\ Dave Wold gave a final liturgy. officially dedicating The James G. Lindcll Library to the service of God, the community. and Augsburg College. Sleep Deprivation ive S udents Vaice Plagues College Group Organizes, Helps Wanna"; "€1- Renrsenbrtnk' Lesleaygut Editpr MPIRG. which stands for Minnesota Public Interest Research Group, is a student run organization that has worked on issues like recy- cling, sexual violence. elections, and the Boundary Waters so far this fall. In September, MPIRG started the year off with a survey of the cam- pus to find out if Augsburg students feel that our recycling program is efl'ective. Of the 153 people who responded to the survey, 57.9% said they didn't think the facilities were adequate. MPIRG is now waiting to hear from Residence Life as to whether they can go ahead with an improve- ment plan for recyc'ling. According to Adam Roesch, co—chair of MPIRG for Augsburg. the survey is was a good way to ensure that the majority of the student body agreed about recycling. “We do a lot of surveys because we are after what the public wants. not just what our small group wants." said Roesch. Another project MPIRG worked on was a dialogue on sexual violence, Although the dialogue was some- what unsuccessful. the following night over 250 people showed up for Take Back The Night at Hamline and Macalester. According to Mike Rentz. campus organizer for MPIRG. the group is going to keep up this campaign for a while to spread knowledge about sexual violence on campus. and to encourage people to report assaults. MPIRG also sponsored a Meet the Candidates night where students could ask questions and interact with people who are running for office. Representatives for Barbara Carlson and Sharon Sayles Belton were there along with others. A few weeks ago. MPIRG tabled in Christensen Center encouraging Students to sign postcards to President Bill Clinton encourag- ing him to protect the Boundary Waters Canoe Area. MPIRG meets Tuesdays at 4 pm. in the Century Room. Some oftheir projects for the rest of the year include working more on recy- cling. investigations of bank fees. sexual harassment and violence, urban sprawl. and a toy safety sur- vey. According to a flyer about the Fair Bank Fees Campaign. 45% of ATMs have a surcharge, meaning higher bank incomes. MPIRG is going to work to reduce and/or eliminate these fees. MPIRG has approximately 20 active members at Augsburg College. but any person who does- n't ask for a refund of their money from the business office is techni- cally a member, This gives the organimtion the power to bring stu- dents‘ concerns to the front. “IMPIRGI gives students a voice in society." said Reiilz. Campuses by Rachel Selle News Editor seen them—we've all seen them. More and more students are pulling all nighters to finish that one last paper. to study for the midterms and quizzes and tests and projects. No problem. though. right? Everyone does it. If you're studying. you must be helping your grade. [I can‘t be pulling your grades down . . . can it'.’ Recent studies provide the answer—sleep deprivation affects your grades in a very negative way. S TUDENTS ARE falling asleep in class by the hundreds. You've A recent study of high school and college students showed that the over» all average amount of sleep gotten on a school night was four hours and 3l minutes. The overall GPA of these students was 2.9. The same study showed that students who got at least 7 hours of sleep a night had an average GPA of 3.5. When you think about it. it makes sense. “The average adult needs at least 8 hours of sleep a night. but most of us are lucky if we get (i Q hours." says Casey McGuire. who works in Atigsliiirg‘s counseling and health promotion office. This then causes “that is known as “sleep debt." which can affect class performance. See Sleep on page 7 Show less
November 7, 1997 .fiEOpinion page 2 6 Editors In response to Rachel Selle’s letter to the editor (10-31-97) regarding Promise Keepers. Miss Selle - I have to bring into question some of your remarks concerning the mission and actions of the Promise Keepers. While I think it is an admirable attempt... Show moreNovember 7, 1997 .fiEOpinion page 2 6 Editors In response to Rachel Selle’s letter to the editor (10-31-97) regarding Promise Keepers. Miss Selle - I have to bring into question some of your remarks concerning the mission and actions of the Promise Keepers. While I think it is an admirable attempt to defend the organization. there are some glaring problems and intangibles that need to be addressed: You state that you “do not want to be dominated and controlled by another man“ and then state you “will submit to my husband if he loves and cares for me...". You cannot have sub— mission without dominance. or vice versa. They go hand in hand. To submit means to acknowledge dominance. It is not a partnership You say that the Bible clearly states homosexuality is wrong. That is your interpretation. The Bible is “without error"? You can also interpret it to say slavery is acceptable. It was written almost 2000 years ago. But, you are free to interpret it however you want. just as myself or any one else is free to interpret it differently. Others are also free to interpret the mission and statements from PK as having a hidden agenda. You disagree with homosex~ uality because you believe it is wrong. I disagree with PK because I believe they are wrong. Of course feminists are going to be concerned about the agenda of PK. History shows that when a group of white. Christian men get together in tremendous numbers in the name of God. it is a matter of concern. Ask Native Americans what they think of large groups of Christian men acting in the name of God. Or African Americans. Or Jews. Or homosexu- als. Are they seen as “gentle and loving". or. in your own words. “domineering tyrants"? I‘d be interested in the answer history has. Your statistics on the value of tweparent families being superior are useless without some THROW background information. Who did these surveys? What was their reason for doing it? Did they have an agenda? Political backing? Religious backing? I can tell you the Family Strength Project recently reported that indeed, two parent families were the healthiest and happiest. But they also happened to be families in which both parents were homosexual. Heterosexual two parent families came in second (FocusPoint, no. 177) So I guess it all depends on what you read and who asks the questions. doesn't it? You cannot have submission without dominance, or vice versa. They go hand in hand. To submit means to acknowledge dominance. It is not a partnership. Maybe one of the reasons no one is men- tioning all the female colleges and sports and organizations is because there has rarely had to be a battle for male equality. We live in a patriarchal society. The military is patriarchal; that is why women have to fight to get into military schools. The sporting world is patriar- chal; that is why the NFL, NBA. NHL and MLB all have male teams. and women have to fight to get their sports recognized. The last I heard of a man having to sue someone for gen- der inequality was a guy who got turned down to wait tables at Hooters restaurant. And he won. Is there really that many more women‘s Christian groups? The PK say that men have “limited” chances to participate in church-based ministries? Really? Is that why only men can be priests and bishops and the pope? Just remember. not everyone in this country is Christian. and even those who are do not always agree with all the teachings. I do think Promise Keepers deserve all the flack they‘ve been getting. lbelieve Promise Keepers has a hidden agenda. And I will agree with you on one thing. Miss Selle - I think they know what they’re doing. Respectfidly, Zach Curtis “...and in many cases [Jim Webber’s work by Jim Webber Co-Editor in Chief the Anderson Hall stairs to my room at 1:19 am. after a brief ride, trying to figure out just how the interplay of no fewer than three guitars worked in old Aerosmith recordings. I walked toward my doorway until a rude waft gave me pause. IHAD LUGGED my bike up Indeed. I first noticed the sick mint» bile smell. and then I saw the sub— stance that emanated it—tightly balled like wet sawdust. stuck fast to my door and carpet. growing more pungent as I walked closer. A few spit—wet globs clung to the door. the rest to the floor. From the spread of the splattered gunk. I figured that the stuff must have been thrown from a few feet away to achieve such velocity. Someone had thrown a mouthful of chewed tobacco at my doorway. My first reaction was to find the chew-tossing fool and then to shove the cold wet brown mess back between his teeth like soap for a swearing child. (I soon reconsidered when I real« ized my build didn‘t match my chutzpah.) So naturally I began to wonder why people throw chewed tobacco at my door. at the white walls in Anderson Hall. and generally everywhere. If the throwing habit is implicated in some strange fer— tility/territory rite. I have some advice. Try urinating. It‘s easier and more effective. (Editor's note—Chewing is easier to do in public.) But back to the problem of stray chewed tobacco—the globby brown stuff stains our campus like nothing else. People spit in the lunchrooms on the carpet or in cafeteria cups. They spit in class (yes, I have seen it). Our study lounges bear the same abuse. Even potted plants. once the target of stale faculty coffee. are now brownstained daily. has been] offensively naive.” : I T A W A Y All or her hand. The next logical step 1 rs would be to toss the chew into the etteb nearest trash can. or maybe to must e Really deposit it into acup. But somehow recelved that doesn‘t happen. at the To the common and less-experi— EChO enced reader. chew in the hand office by sounds like a bad thing indeed. the - And I agree. Would you want to Su d hold soggy brown splinters soaked n_ ay in your bad chew-spit breath? I nlght wouldn‘t even step in the stuff. before But I digress. Idon'tcare how dis— . . ustin chew is. But I do care ubllcation. In g g P So what prevean chewers of tobac- co from throwing away the stuff? To get rid of chewed tobacco. one typically crooks a finger into the lower lip and scoops out the coag- ulated sawdust-like globs into his about my bike. my mid-night mus- ings on Aerosmith, and a clean doorway when I get home. If for no other reason. humor me. Hell. if I can sneak in a plug for God and country to persuade you, then so be it. In any case. you know what to do. Throw your chewed tobacco away. THE PRESMENTS vast: Au. map-rams 12: car car THEZE AND 95A- mam: THEIR CDHHWIW. C“MON Namibia’s. mun-=92! er PAUL TERRY a; PAUL IUM react—259:2" 5TANTME>HAT|°N T FIND HIS addition to a printed copy, an electronic copy (sent through e—mail or on a 3.5” floppy disk) is required. e-mail: ech o@augsburg. edu Campus Mail: Campus Box #148 The Echo reserves the right to edit stories for length and content. Any questions? Call the Echo office at x1 102. asvae— THEN? pro Slit-139W? SW W? Dal {tron WATS i ‘ .’T7ISLU$TIW:1 t-uH e-Mqil AT'itengQacgakgelu.‘ T9281? CAN‘ "tuna?— gPlTE coN it \bu CAN HELP 9? 53m“. ll-Z-‘Fl' @144? WV Show less
Deeemeee 12, 1997 special Issue page 3 Patty Wisecup We had to leave things behind: the couches, beds, and pianos were all too big to carry; the earrings, makeup, and diapers too small to remember. There were the things too hidden to find in the dark. How could we remember all these things with... Show moreDeeemeee 12, 1997 special Issue page 3 Patty Wisecup We had to leave things behind: the couches, beds, and pianos were all too big to carry; the earrings, makeup, and diapers too small to remember. There were the things too hidden to find in the dark. How could we remember all these things with the National Guard waiting at the front door in boats— there was no time. Pictures— The baby’s first photo, first step, first tooth Tammy’s first grade school picture with two missing front teeth Dillon’s team photos, the farme celebrations, and the wedding album. The first grandchild’s birth, the grandparents, long dead— the pictures now gone these things left behind. The Stephen King book collection. The sports trophies and pennants, the Kirby Puckett autographed baseball cards and the Arnold Palmer signature golf clubs. All forgotten in the rush These things left behind. Grandpa’s 1890 pocket watch passed to our family, the heirlooms, the good china, Hard days night and other Beatles albums. All these things we left behind in the rushing waters, ’ left behind in the ruins and the turmoil, left behind in the frantic evacuation to save our own lives. The flood claimed everything in its path and left behind the abandoned ruins and pieces of our lives; undrinkable water, unthinkable scenes, unrealized devastation. We lost no lives though. We would not allow these floods to claim anything further; they would not claim our courage and our spirit. Our hopes, our dreams, and our memories will prevail and we will triumph. All was not lost with these things left behind. number ninety John Bremer the truth is i admire him the blade and stick blue lines visible the thick bright ice where he returns with grace and confidence , slam into the hard white boards " occasional body check, ‘ penalty box and puck 1 lonely player on the bus ride home where he thinks a lot a heavy coin in his everyday pocket Show less
special issue page 4 December 12, 1997 Nap Time in Summer After Sesame Street and pocket bread with cheese was nap time. Mom said I only had to close my eyes and just rest for awhile. I didn’t even have to really fall asleep like in a real nap. My dad’s hammock was my very own, nobody else’s,... Show morespecial issue page 4 December 12, 1997 Nap Time in Summer After Sesame Street and pocket bread with cheese was nap time. Mom said I only had to close my eyes and just rest for awhile. I didn’t even have to really fall asleep like in a real nap. My dad’s hammock was my very own, nobody else’s, special nap time place. Mom would help me into the yellow, brown, orange, and white striped canvas tied to one elm and one ash. The hammock curled around me leaving only a sliver of blue sky as the breeze rocked me to sleep. The hum of planes overhead and kids playing in the cul-de-sac, the fresh cut grass smell of cool summer mixed with the feel of the sun kissing my skin through the canvas that smelled like tent. Making a little girl sleepy, barefoot, ten toes curled, blue denim coveralls, arms hugging herself in summer. Camille Carnes lifeless winterbird hovering over the mantle of the city snow falls past the crimelights toppling snowmen, collecting their coal eyes. clumsy faith magic is no match. words die in the cold of night. John Bremer i remember you like this John Bremer the way i might an old love, someone i never quite got over, someone i kept secretly hoping to see again even though i knew i was supposed to be forgetting and moving on. i listen for you downstairs; coming in late, the gentle click of the lock behind you. your quiet walk through the kichen still wakes me up again for water and a glance into your old room i remember you like this because you left me and everyone else in our family like mathematics; you got very sick and you died. it was so simple but still i did not understand, the cancer in your lungs spread white as dying dandelion and tumors emerged from your body like blossoms. closed petals grew hard and as large as fruit, breaking your skin where they opened teenage boy, all branches and leaves that broke and fell away until you became all torso, like an old rotting tree trunk so that later the only thing we could do was plant flowers all around you, wanting you back, wanting you pretty, green and alive again. l Show less
December 12, 1997 special issue page 2 Roots Danielle Arett Inspired by “We are the deceased ’5 family" from “Soldering” by Sharon Chmielarz We are the deceased’s family We name our sons after him We laugh until dawn over the memories And cry over them through lonely midnights Regret: “Why did I... Show moreDecember 12, 1997 special issue page 2 Roots Danielle Arett Inspired by “We are the deceased ’5 family" from “Soldering” by Sharon Chmielarz We are the deceased’s family We name our sons after him We laugh until dawn over the memories And cry over them through lonely midnights Regret: “Why did I ever do those things?” Anger: “How could You take him away from me, From us when we need him so much?” Fear: “Now I’ll go to Hell, and then I’ll never see him again.” We obsess over should have’s and what if ’s We remind each other how we are like him And try to remember he was human, with both good sides and bad We say what he would think, say and do In these events in which death has forbidden him to take part Yet he does He takes part in us, lives in us The shadows under our eyes The creases between our eyebrows Our long legs, our heavy hearts He is in all those things The way we argue, the way we play The way we tease, the way we talk We are living reflections of him We are the deceased’s family We know what not to take for granted Precious life—so unstable They say we deal with abandonment issues A death complex lurking in our subconscious A monster named Fear who takes over our minds When we’re staring at the clock, waiting, praying “Please, God, let her be okay.” “Please, God, let him come home soon.” “Please, God, don’t do it again.” And when the phone rings at an unusual hour “Oh, God, who was it this time?" For us, death is not only loss, But the conception of terror Our hearts become wombs for this demon Our actions prenatal care And our lives are lived in labor The cord never to be cut Until we die, And our children adopt the Fear We are the deceased‘s family We are survivors living one heartbeat at a time We share loss when we share holidays Our Last Supper took place eighteen years ago We still see the empty chair We have permission to make it into a throne Faith Carrie Mesrobian Heather has faith in her products. There is no tool she cannot grasp. They arrange themselves around her in arsenals of “handy” and “ready-to,” on shelves, in boxes, stacked in cupboards, cleanly packaged kits, creams, oils, compacts and gels, dazzling in frosted glass and shrink wrap. With a precise eye she selects: a lock de-icer, a mustache bleach, a cork to cap opened wine with a tiny plastic pineapple glued to its top. Like a genie, she nods her head, blinks, snaps her fingers and it works. _ Sores heal, stovetops gleam, meat glazes, socks stay up, beds turn down, teeth whiten, hair straightens, shoes shine and begin to tap. The whole house hums with belief in her bottled technologies. She smiles, opens a book, takes a nap, as if it were nothing. This is why I love her: her skill of selection and application, ‘ - z p her joy from such conjured amenities, her rational faith that I’ve never had. 'My unbelief must be like hidden hitters, souring the batter, slipping under safety seals, . fouling secret formulas and polluting the preserves. Pictures fall from walls, hammers fall off handles, hair kinks and knots up, headaches throb for hours, the soft light crackles and crisply burns out. Then I wait in darkness for her faith to return, a liquid-lotioned savior, screwing on the toothpaste cap, varnishing the floors, refilling old subscriptions, whistling through the teapot. The windows push themselves up, letting in light and lemon scent, and then serenity enters, fresh as a pressed shirt. Show less
December 12, 1997 augs ucgfio page 4 Rapture! Christ Comes for FCA’ers: Heathens Left to Fend for Their Beer by Beth Bockstridge, Aaron 7 Staff Stars 7 7 Saturday night. December 6. I997. while “living it up" in an Anderson fioorhouse, of which the Scandinavian roots will not be disclosed at this... Show moreDecember 12, 1997 augs ucgfio page 4 Rapture! Christ Comes for FCA’ers: Heathens Left to Fend for Their Beer by Beth Bockstridge, Aaron 7 Staff Stars 7 7 Saturday night. December 6. I997. while “living it up" in an Anderson fioorhouse, of which the Scandinavian roots will not be disclosed at this time. Jesus Christ came in the form of a portly. out-of—breath security officer. At the very moment that the Messiah made his long-anticipated entrance. the Augsburg Fellowship of Christian Athletes suddenly and simulta- neously vanished. One glossy—eyed onlooker commented. “It was really weird. [just don't get it. I mean. they were there and then Following Christ‘s final judgment. the throng of heathens migrated to 13th floor of Mortensen Tower. where they decided to live out their final days in praise of themselves (along with a variety of unnamed beverages). The gluttonous mass. recognizing their canth state and quick mortality, began to practice cultic rituals. These rituals incar- nated themselves in such forms as partici- pation in sexual high-jinx. praising of porcelain gods. and the patronage of their Mexican brethren. Cheech and Chong. In Student Finds Gathering Suspicious Group Meets Daily an act of utter desperation the pagans. led by the sinister Calvin Hanson. began an eerie mantra which rang through the halls of the tower. “In heaven there is no beer. that's why we drink it here. and when we are not here. all our damn friends will drink all our beer.“ Hanson. when inquired as to his mortal state. replied. “Hell. I used to be a Christian. Hell. I even wanted to be a Lutheran minister. but when I found out there wasn‘t any beer in heaven. I decided to screw it." After this harsh realization. Calvin spiraled into a lifestyle of unquenchable substance abuse. When asked how he felt about his current state, he shrugged his shoulders and belched, “That's great." In the coming months. Blondie‘s on the Avenue will be having a sequence of ceIe~ brations in honor of the absence of moral- ity in our carefree world. Be sure to com- memorate the event with a Blondie‘s spe- cial. their “Spicy as Hell Hot Wings“ and their shot of the month. the “Second Comin' Kicker of Liquor." which is guar— anteed to send you straight to hell (as if you weren‘t going there already). CREATI‘G CR Fbwy Steam Valleys Staff riter He stood breathing in the doorway of the group study room. all professor. all man. The student Vivian Fuller felt his gaze pressing into her. and when she looked up she let out a weak gasp. “Professor Kennington!“ “Yes. Vivian." said Professor Kennington. and he looked with lusty eyes on her, his prize. his glistening chalice of indiffer- ence. “But please. clear.“ he added in a sultry voice. “call me Blade." “But please, dear,” he Vivian's lashes swept the porcelain added In a sultry curve of her cheeks. cruel to me." “Yes.” said Blade with a groan. His tongue was as sluggish as a wet sponge. “I admit that mentioning your dumb eyes was an unfortunate mistake. But now," he cried. and with this exclamation he took a step forward and grasped the soft. shivering flesh of her shoulders. “now I see that my petty obsession with your lack of intelligence has blinded me to the overriding merits of your taut young body!" “Oh!” cried the student Vivian Fuller. “What a fool I was!“ Blade dropped his head to the smooth surface of Vivian's heaving bosom. Suddenly a voice came over the loudspeaker. and in their united desire the crack- ling voice zapped the two like electrified lust. “It is now 10:30," said the voice. “Group study rooms will be closing in fifteen minutes. The library will close in thirty minutes. Please bring all materials to be checked out to the front desk at this time." “I checked you out months ago.“ Blade said hoarsely. “and when all the lights are out, I‘ll bring you down into the basement. Until then. my purple rose perspiring with pas- sion. we will wait between the stacks." Vivian nodded and let out a soft cry as he took her hand. unable to think of anything but her quivering love-channel. and of the purple- helmeted wanior ready to lead her to an undiscovered layer of passion. by Fawn Jung? Staff Star On November 31st. Augsburg senior Erik Engene stumbled upon a discovery that has defi— nitely baffled fellow students. While going to the computer lab in Foss center. Engene stumbled on a mob of people. A shaken Engene told the Echo. “l was just going to the computer lab to check my e-mail. when I heard this music coming from the auditorium. It reminded me of my years as an altar boy so I went to check it out. When I opened the doors leading up to the singing I saw a mass of people singing at the top of their lungs. I was shocked to see a horde of people. and ljust ran out of there as fast as 1 could." Engene immediately called secu- rity about the unmly crowd but when they arrived at the scene the place was empty. When asked about the incident. a security spokesman told us. “ It‘s the strangest thing our depart- ment has ever seen. A mob forms and disappears in less than an hour. It's like someone has the mob really well organized. We promise that we'll do everything in our power to keep the Augsburg student body safe if this mob ever turns violent." The Echo has also learned that this was not an isolated incident. In fact. records show that Augsburg security has noted dozens of these mob formations since the beginning of the semester. Also. these incidents are isolated to Foss Center Monday. Wednesday. and Friday from 10:20-l0:40 and Tuesday and Thursday from 11:20-11:40. A confused security officer con— fessed to the Echo. “Our greatest concern is if this mob turns vio- lent. we must not over react but also be prepared for anything that happens. Unfortunately the only weapon the college has allowed us to carry are our flashlights. But in the right hands a flashlight can be a deadly weapon against a swarm of people wielding torch- es and pitch forks." So who is responsible for this mob? Is it a group of religious zealots or an anti-Semitic move- ment? A group of right winged conservatives or liberal radicals? To find the answer the Echo went to the Augsburg administration. But they provided an outrageous explanation for the mob forma- tion. A representative told us. “The mob is really just a religious con- vocation of students. faculty. and members of the community that meet daily for a nondenomina— tional sermon. It's been going on for years and is pan of Augsburg's religious tradition.“ When asked why this “convoca— tion" has been hidden from the student body the representative laughed and replied. “We‘ve been advertising convocation since the beginning of the year. there are signs posted all over campus and in school bulletins that are sent to each student. Professors encourage their stu- dents to go and a time period is HlH Kr "term Eurasian—5. adv." (wt-um lT uPsE-TB Ybu ,WMN set aside where all campus func- tions are closed to allow faculty and students to attend." “A nondenominational sermon for students and faculty. how can they [Augsburg College] expect us to believe that lame excuse? That's like saying that Area SI is just a pile of sand in the middle of nowhere. I’ve been going to Augsburg for four years and I‘ve never heard of this “convoca— tion.” There's something strange going on and someone has to find the truth behind this conspiracy.“ stated an outraged Engene in reply to the Augsburg‘s “official” explanation. Though the case is still unsolved. the Augsburg administration is attempting to wrap it up and go on with daily operations leaving this potentially dangerous “con— vocation” unchecked. Stay tuned to the Echo for later developing issues concerning this inherent hazard that has the student body fearing the day of reckoning. Valerie Bertonelli Scott Baio Billy Graham Kate Moss Billie Jean Mammary Graven, I Grammar Maven, 11 Kevin Kline Mallory Keaton Dirk Diggler Burt Reynolds Co-Editor in Chief Co-Editor in Chief News Editor Photo Editor Layout Editor Copy Co-Editor Copy Co-Editor A as E Editor Consultant Commissioner Faculty Advisor The Augsburg Echo is published each Friday except during interim. vacation periods. holidays. and hangovers by the stu- dents of Augsburg College. 731 2] st Avenue South. Minneapolis. Minnesota 55454. Opinions expressed DO defi- nitely reflect those of the supporting staff. administration. fac- ulty. and the remainder of the students. The Echo does promote the products or services it advertises. Those of you who ventured into the small print are missing the fun in the big print. Get outta here! “But you were 50 voice, “call me Blade.” - .w: 9.: Show less
December 12, 1997 “gsfifiio page 3 Students Hospitalized after Riot Over New Mascot by Sachel Relle Staff Joke! 7 7 Seven students were hospitalized last Monday when ri0ts broke out in front of Memorial Hall. The riot culminated a long day of waiting for students peace- fully demonstrating in... Show moreDecember 12, 1997 “gsfifiio page 3 Students Hospitalized after Riot Over New Mascot by Sachel Relle Staff Joke! 7 7 Seven students were hospitalized last Monday when ri0ts broke out in front of Memorial Hall. The riot culminated a long day of waiting for students peace- fully demonstrating in protest of the administra- tion's decision to change Augsburg College‘s mas- cot. When the news came that the decision had been approved, students began arguing amongst themselves. and several became so distraught that they started throwing punches. “All hell broke loose." said John Johnson. a student observing the ruckus from the safety of the cafete- ria. “There must have been about a thousand peo- ple crowding around the Quad that just went nuts.“ Administration denied the minor that the Minnesota . National Guard was prepared to come break up the riot. The decision to c h a n g e Augsburg‘s mas- cot began at the beginning of the year as a new class of freshmen began to question the term “Auggie.” “What the heck is an Augsburg ‘Auggies? St. Thomas Tommies? St. Olaf Oles? I think there are a few screws . . Auggie?" asked loose “1 thls freshman Phil athletic Phillips. “And what kind of cre- conference' ativity is that? __-— A u g s b u r g Auggies? St. Thomas Tommies‘.’ St. Olaf Oles? I think there are a few screws loose in this athletic conference. Down in Iowa where I come from. this sort of problem doesn‘t happen." Many more students were confused as to what the term meant. “It's not in the dictionary." pointed out Jim “Jimmy” James. “People keep saying it’s a baby eagle. but I say they have no evidence." “Isn‘t a baby eagle an eaglet?“ inquired Andy Anderson. The administration claims that student confusion over the mascot name was not its only reason for changing the mascot. “In this day and age. you have to be careful who you‘re upsetting." stated Jan Janson, Dean of the Mascots. Pointing out deci- sions of schools to switch from mascots such as the Braves, Chiefs. and Indians. she continued. “Augsburg has always been a trend setting college. and we realize that our using reference to a baby eagle might upset some eagle rights activists. We hope other colleges and universities will follow our example and change their mascots from animals to something more politically correct.“ The administration also revealed Augsburg College's new mascot on Monday. “It was a tough choice." said Janson. “There were a few we were deciding between. But I think we've chosen to go with the Augites. The name is kind of catchy—the Augsburg Augites. Also. the fact that it is a rock makes us seem more solid and secure as a college." Augite is a complex aluminous silicate. a variety of pyroxene. found in many igneous rocks. The chemistry department was thrilled at this deci- sion. as were various environmental groups. “Just think of it." stated Amy Ames. “The fact that we chose a type of aluminum will make our college sound more into the whole recycling deal. We‘re a college with our eye on the future!“ Other students voiced displeasure at the new choice. One student climbed to the top of the Christensen Center after the decision was made and began rant- ing about the evils of political correctness. “Send it back to Satan!" he was heard yelling. Mike Michaels agrees with him. “Sure everyone thinks this guy is a nut. but I agree. Down with PC! A baby eagle was bad enough. but a rock? That’s gonna instill fear into the hearts of our opponents. On second thought. the same can be said of a baby bird. I guess.“ Chris Christian is looking forward to the next sports season. “This is awesome! We can stone our rivals or something. Forget having an actual mascot like Goldy. we can just hand out piles of augite at the door. Whoo-hoo!" Most students just rolled their eyes at the turn of events. “Who cares?" asked senior Jake lacobsen. “Baby animals. rocks. it makes no difference to me. I‘m going to be graduating soon anyway.“ Augsburg administration said that its other choices for mascots were the augers (tools used for boring holes in wood) and the au gratins. spacellllel@augsbllg.edu Poolean Scholar Calls for Higher Standards Noted Founder of the Poolean School of Logic called yesterday for higher stan— dards in educa- tion. “The level of mod— em scholarship is subpar." he said. “I expect superior levels of exegetical work from my colleagues. and I am disap- pointed." He will speak this Monday in the Philosophy Seminar Room. Liquor, Bad Food, and Graft: Tides Turn at Marriott, Residence WGrachlumich ' 7Conrsgultant7 Marriott Food Service has recently announced new policies concerning student food plans and policies. “l have seen the light." said the Director of Marriott Food Service. who apparently was converted after observing the impoverished state of a residents on campus who tum to alcohol on weekends because of their financial anxieties. "i saw what our over priced meal plans were doing to students which is humanly impossible to live with." giously. Permutations EWT¥Viffubso "W and “lntemet” are used egre- How to play: Simply scratch off the words on your card as they are spoken. buzzwords/cliches \fIRTUOSO allowed, For example. if some- one has the temerity to say "Let's dialogue about utilizing resources." scratch off Dialogue. Utilize. and Resources. You‘ll be declaring “Bingo!” in no time! of the are also Note: the word "facilitate" is Buzzword/Cliche Bingo equivalent to a “free space." since no meeting is complete without its usage. For even fur» ther giggles. try playing a cover- all! That stuff should probably precede the placement of the "card." but it really doesn‘t mat- ter. § aff Writer 7777 W “ OU‘VE SEEN WALLY. of Dilbert glory. declare a “buzzword bingo“ as The Boss “facilitated” a meeting. Now you too can play this cus~ tom-tailored Augsburg College edition of buzzword/cliche bingo at your next faculty meeting! Laugh aloud as othenlvise glib individuals spout yesterday‘s buzzwords! Get your pencil ready. as computing-related terms like “memory,” “intranet.” l, Marriott confessed to knowing that they were overcharging stu» dents for their meals and. also confessed to a conspiracy with residence life by forcing on-cani- pus students to pay for a meal plan. “We knew the whole time that students do not use their meal plans. That‘s why we made our food at such ll poor quality, so students will not cat. That was how we made the big bucks." said a marketing associate of Marriott. They paid Residence Life lots of money to uphold the mandatory rulc of meal plans. Adtiilmstration of Residence Lllc would then Use the money for periodic gambling trips to Lus Vegas throughout the year. Residence Life bitterly refused to comment on the Marriott's changes. Some of the immediate changes they are making include: all meal plans are now optional. even if the student lit’cs on clim- pus: a substantial price reduction for all food items at Murphy‘s; and also the rcinstullation ot chickcn dumpllng and tortclllni soup in Murphy's. “These changes are only the beginning," said the director "We are going to continue to work for the students instead of our own. Now students Will have less to worry about with the thou- sands of dollars that they wrll save with these tremendous food savings. We are now committed to a life of service." They are even considering free meal plans and supplying chefs on every floor in the resident balls to cook each meal for the floor’s residence. The Director of Marriott said. “We will contin- ue to make changes until alcohol abuse is no longer a problem on campus." Show less
W- l7” / Augsburg (D .5: u www.crugsburgedu/ech0 December 12, 1997 Volume 104 Echo Special Issue literarlissue: The works published here are winning entries submitted for the John Engman Prize in Creative Writing and Poetry. The Echo wishes to thank the whole English Department for organizing... Show moreW- l7” / Augsburg (D .5: u www.crugsburgedu/ech0 December 12, 1997 Volume 104 Echo Special Issue literarlissue: The works published here are winning entries submitted for the John Engman Prize in Creative Writing and Poetry. The Echo wishes to thank the whole English Department for organizing this contest. The Bus-Driver’s Note to her Lover promise you, when all the children have gone I will beckon you on board, and the double doors that submit only to my thumb will open only to you, and in the dark and dusky seats, the scratched curses 'will float pass our ears _ as oaths of love. The child smiled again today, ,when I geared low past your house, 1 and my own mouth curved with desire, and my head turned, hoping to grab a glimpse. (I saw instead your wife, poking sadly in the flowers.) §Q’I'he child is that light-haired one, With the plain face. She also watches the other children, but for me she saves her small smiles, and so I give her the smoothest stops. But even she is only a child and even she will be gone when the bus is dark, and all ours. »Wait for my signal in the bus-yard, ,but when you see it, please do not come slowly. :The children have been quarreling over candy, and I have ached for you all day. John Engman Prize Winners: John Bremer Camille Cames Zach Curtis . Cheri Johnson Chen Johnson Came Mesrobian Honorable Mention: a mum, DEL. I 5 [997 l Patty Wisecup AumzummEWT WH'JNJ, -: v m Zach Curtis It is February 1988. My then 83-year-old mother is en route to her daily luncheon treat— a bowl of soup, an onion roll—— during a Miami rainstorm. She slips in a puddle, falls and is taken by ambulance to a hospital (although she insists she would rather be taken home) primarily to detemtine why she fell. Physicians from all specialties order many. many tests, but the psychiatrist’s tests are the most unforgettable. These young men, perhaps 45 years her junior, come and go. They come every day, perhaps twice a day. talking not of Michaelangelo about whom she knows a great deal, as she is an artist and a lifelong student of art history, but instead asking questions: “What time is it?” (There is no clock visible from her bed.) “What day is today? What is today’s date?” (The closest calendar is at the end of her hall.) These healers of the mind test no topic of which she has knowledge, information, memory, opinion or interest. There is nothing of Beethoven, Shakespeare, Ibsen, Picasso, Matisse, Irving Berlin, Ginger Rogers, No Manet. No Monet. Her test was less diagnostic than name, rank and serial number, (although no one asked of her rank.) One day the questions broadened. “How many children do you have?” Two, she politely responded, giving our names and where we lived. This healer turned to me, off to the side, and asked “How many children does she have?" I realized then, with ice running in my veins, that simply by creating an imaginary sibling by saying the word “three” I had the power to have her deemed senile. Show less
ll- W77 augs u Volume 104 Issue 11 December 12, 1997 Beefeake: It’s not for dinner anymore. Biggs shows his stuff in a 1980 issue of Playboy. Since everyone is probably curious what the Echo is doing with a smutty magazine, the editors would like to take this opportunity to vindicate themselves.... Show morell- W77 augs u Volume 104 Issue 11 December 12, 1997 Beefeake: It’s not for dinner anymore. Biggs shows his stuff in a 1980 issue of Playboy. Since everyone is probably curious what the Echo is doing with a smutty magazine, the editors would like to take this opportunity to vindicate themselves. Somebody’s dad gave it to us. Really. And quit smirking! We read it for articles, just like anyone else. Local Man Not Manly Anymore, Researchers Say Former Winston Cigarette Model Crushed by Allegations; Analysts Say Waifs Replace “Real Men” 7by Hoem Ja burgh Err-ant E itor The National Hetero Research Board today said that long- known Winston Cigarette model Kent Biggs of Minneapolis. Minn. has lost the essential qual- ities of manhood. Biggs. at a press conference fol» lowing the Board‘s accusation. said he was “crushed.” His 24- year contract with R], Reynolds Tobacco Company ended abrupt- ly after tobacco top brass heard the Board‘s charge. Biggs had modeled for over 100 advertise merits. most of which appeared in Playboy, Car and Driver. and Sports Illustrated. “He was simply holding on to the old days." said Mortimer J. Filibuster 111, Senior Vice President of R.J. Reynolds tobac- co. “Biggs never noticed the 19905. He always reminisced *' "ii?pr Secret 7 .Igexout Mime... Early last week it was discov- ered by members of APIRG‘s Covert Operations Team that President Frame is nothing more than an experiment made by scientists working for the CIA. Agent Adam Moulder said “It was a shock. We new that the CIA has been cloning people at this prison for years. but to put one of those clones into a posi- tion of power. . . . is unthink- able.“ The man whom President Frame was cloned from. Butch “Big Daddy" Johnson, 70. orig- inally from South Dakota. was serving a sentence of five years for jaywalking. He had only served one year of that sentence so far. Apparently. a few months after he entered the prison system he became sick. After spending a month in the prison's infinnary (an under- ground structure) he sent a let» ter to C.O.T. Agent Adam Moulder describing his experi- ence. An excerpt from the letter follows: “I awoke one night to find President Frame a Clone Inmate of Florida prison provided DNA myself in a dark room with a sin» gle light bulb hanging over me. I was laying on a hard metal table. It was very cold. In a thing that looked like an aquarium to my right was a man who looked just like me. On a piece of paper taped to the aquarium was typed the words ‘William Frame. Augsburg College.‘ That‘s all I remember." When Agents Adam Moulder and Nick Skully went to Big Daddy's cell to question him a few weeks later, he had apparently hanged himself. “[Big Daddy] was my best friend. I don't know why he did it.“ said fellow inmate Randy Randerson. “He only had four years left." President Frame was unavailable for questioning last week. However. a spokesperson for the Frame family said. “we cannot be certain that [Bill] is a clone. All we know is that his DNA does match that of Big Daddy Johnson‘s exactly." Investigations are still going on in the Florida prison and around Augsburg college. If you have any information on this case. you are asked to run and hide before the CIA finds out you know something. Above, President William Frame of Augsburg College. Below, Butch “Big Daddy “ Johnson of the Florida prison (taken in 1994.) Photo: 71 Adams over a 1982 advertisement—l thought it was lousy—that fea- tured him rappelling down a cliff face. He used to tell me. ‘Look at that steel jaw! Nobody can tell me I'm not a man'" Biggs countered Filibustcr's claim with an emotional plea for women everywhere to reaffirm his manliness. He cited his steel chin. chest hair, a day‘s facial hair growth. tight Wrangler® jeans. extensive leather tool- holders on his belt. a heavy pri- mary-colored flannel shirt creased at the sleeves, and what he called “Henry VIll‘s armor in shift in ad\ertising markcts. Today the targets of cigarette ads tend to be \vomcn and adolescent men. \\ hile construction \vorkcrs. outdoor enthtisiusts. and men fix» ing large cars and machines in the jungle are less popular. “Today‘s ads are it bit more smut» ty and coy.“ said Dale Riggings. Advertising Exccumc of Sinecurc Public. of Puxatawncy. Pa. “Only the 'fircs Plu\ ads with the husky-voiced tune that says ‘world class service. warehouse prices' with gusto hold onto thc old»school advertising lcch- niques." jeans." CEO John HaltSon. of Sleek and Chic California. an advertising firm. said he agreed with Riggings. “The modern adver- tisement is more androgynous and waif—like. Biggs wusjust too much old-school man. Maybe he should play rugby for Foster's Beer ads." “I've got the stuff." Biggs said this afternoon, "But since they discovered a few gay men mod- eling at Marlboro. everyone's suspect. I‘m just trying to make a living by being me." Analysts say this firing of tobac- co's top man signifies a profound Students Don’t Give a Damn About Anything by Goliath hon Staff Wri er A recent survey done by Student Life reveals that very few if any stu- dents at Augsburg could care less. The study taken ofcurrent Augsburg students during a typical school day shows that less than 5‘7? admit to caring about anything. It should be noted. however. that a higher percentage of students started the sur— vey. but most of them quit afterjust under one minute with comments like. “um. . . whatever“ and. “screw this." "It seems that a prevailing attitude atnong most students at Augsburg is one of apathy." says Aaron Gilberson. Director of Student Affairs. “In fact." he continued. “most students we talked to told us to go straight to hell, right off the bat. it took us four hours to get enough people for an accurate reading—not that we at Augsburg ever care much about accuracy." Reasons given for the lack of empathy range from bad food to lack of sleep. “Why should I care about anything when the laundry machines don’t work. the food sucks. and I get less than three hours of sleep a night?" One non-caring student said. “i wouldn‘t even bother to leave my room except that I can‘t spend more than a few hours there at a time with that mold all over the place." Of the few studean who said that they could, somewhere. find some- thing that they might care about. issues that sparked their interest were grades. relationships and student loans. One issue. however. glared out among the rest: Promise Keepers. “1 just can't get enough." one compassionate student said. “J love spending hour after hour debating the issue with my peers." Oddly enough. out of the two or three caring students who could be tracked down for an interview. all claimed to have written about the Promise Keepers issue in editorials or letters to the editor for the Augsburg Echo. It seems that what some students who don't care have begun to call "beating a dead horse" has actually been a cmsadc. week after week. debating the one issue most cherished by students who give a damn. “The implications of the survey are startling." Gilbertson commented. “But as of right now, it‘s not really applicable to Augsburg College's financial situation. As long as they care enough to pay their tuition. students can care—or not care—about whatever they like." Show less
December 12, 1997 page 2 Marriott = Movement: A Revolution in Scatological Studies Starzinsky Develops Causal Model b e1 Jaime Free- ovin’ Fellow English major Galecowitz Staninsky announced yesterday a unified theory of causation at a special research colloquium Simple and yet incredibly com-... Show moreDecember 12, 1997 page 2 Marriott = Movement: A Revolution in Scatological Studies Starzinsky Develops Causal Model b e1 Jaime Free- ovin’ Fellow English major Galecowitz Staninsky announced yesterday a unified theory of causation at a special research colloquium Simple and yet incredibly com- plex. his theory reads as follows: Maniott=Movement (see figure at right). “My English professors consid- ered me an idiot." Starzinsky said. “I never realized my own mathematical brilliance until I began to run x-square tests and obtain p-values for my data. Then I finally dispensed with the humanities. Ovid‘s a rake. and Byron's no better.“ For 2 years Starlinsky monitored the nearly direct causal relation— ship between the ingestion of Marriott food and the ensuing bowel movement. Midway through his second year of research. he noticed a peculiar celerin with which this move- ment followed the initial inges- tion of Marriott. Some subjects experienced movement within minutes. while others took a few hours. As the year were on. however. Starzinsky saw that the time dif- ferences between movements lessened. and his research sub- jects—1.000 students eating three Marriott meals daily— began to experience consistent movements within l0 minutes of ingestion. He first proposed that Man'iott would cause Movement if fiber were present. But after his sub- jects experienced consistent movement for several weeks without a supplemental fiber diet. Staninsky decided to move to direct causation in his theory. His subjects reported consistent daily movement within ten min- utes of ingestion. and since those who take 19 meals weekly eat only Marriott. Staninsky postu- lated his theory. It has sparked interest on the campus. particu- the pictures... 771e p/ll‘ hack. T BARC L‘XY larly in the field of Scatologica] Studies. E. F. Meces. noted scat scholar, said yesterday. “Staninsky has moved forward in a field that has spent its late years in the horse latitudes of creativity. This is real. fomenting, and full-bodied work." Students are reacting favorably as well. “I never noticed the con- nection. nor did I even assume a causal relationship between Marriott and my habit of move- ment," said sophomore Huss Pruitt. “Now I know what to expect. Speaking of which, it's about 6:30 pm. I need to go to my room. Theory in action!" Starzinsky‘s landmark research. “Causal Relationships Between Marriott Food Service and Movement." will be published in the upcoming issue of Scatological Quarterly. Starlinsky hopes that his work will give him a better chance at getting into schools with presti» gious scat programs. He cited Computer Science Majors Get More Chicks More So than Athletes, Virile and Sociable Men Attract Women SPECIAL TO THE ECHO: The hale and hearty men pictured here inform us that Computer Science Majors indeed attract women. Sure, their study habits and math- ematical acumen are a plus, but the real selling point is amiability. One quick look will tell you they‘re not kidding. Academic Officials noted yesterday a marked declaration of “Computer Science Majors" among young men. In fact, a full a 73 percent of male first-year students declared their major as "CSC" within days of this discovery. The elite cadre of CSC majors has declared a secret password by which women will recognize them. Now. only genuine CSC majors may use this code. so all you humanities and social science and education types. stop reading. You will simply need to whisper this at your next party: “C-S-C. Come to me." Need proof? See the Chuck Berry Foundation at Harvard University and the Expurgation Consortium at Stanford University as examples. The theory is not universally accepted on campus, however. Undetemiinist Clarry Rocket. noted philosopher of science. said yesterday that Star-zinsky has ignored the fundamental problem of induction in his argu- ment. “Data and logic alone do not chose the best theory.“ Rocket said. “This is the twentieth cen- tury—a century of limitative results. Perhaps Maniott does cause movement. but if given movement. can we say that Marriott must have occurred? No. and so Starzinsky leaves his theory open to other causal fac- tors." Starzinsky said he was not overly concerned with such fine distinc- tions. “1 practice science. while you cursed philosophers get nothing done." he said. When's the last time a philosopher pro- duced anything useful? I'm going to tell you how to manage your movements. What are you doing?" Out of 100 faculty polled, 78% felt that Staninsky's research was well-founded. 82% were proud to have such a young scholar on campus. and a full 90% pledged more funding to the Department of Scatological Studies. Starzinsky will speak at 7:00 pm. Monday. December 15 at his laboratory. Students are asked to ingest Marriott between 6:15 and 6:30 pm. before the meeting. Staninsky will explain and demonstrate his theory using interested participants. Fiber“ Marriott ll : Movement / Cheese“ *=Optional Are you hungry? Don ’t miss Stalzinsky’s speech this Monday! What to Do: Area events under 525 “What to Do" is a weekly events calender highlighting events in the surrounding community. To sub- mit events for "What to Do" call the Echo office (x1102) or e-mail us at echo@augsburg.edu. Friday, Dec. 12 Nat‘l “Its the Last Day of Classes So Let's Drink Beer" Day Saturday, Dec. 13 Rachel Rensenbrink-Smith’s birthday. private party for all Augsburg students who know Rachel. TBA Sunday, Dec. 14 “Crank Your Music Loud Night" at Augsburg. (nevemiind the 24 hour quiet hour rule. its just a lie that denies this yearly event). Monday, Dec. 15 We Hate Monday Night Football. support group meeting. 8:00 pm. Weenaas Room. Jack Osberg. speaker Tuesday, Dec. 16 First meeting for A.S.S. (Augsburg Socialist Satanistst. 4:30 pm. Century Room Wednesday, Dec. 17 Wednesday Night Communion with Yasser Arafat. 9:30 pm, chapel. Thursday, Dec. 18 The unofficial A.S.S. Radio Show. 6—10 am. KAUG 90.7 fm Nat‘l “Its the Last Day of Finals So Let’s Drink Beer" Day Friday, Dec. 19 Not Manly Enough support group. former Mnston cigarette model. speaker. 8 pm. weight room Show less
- - December 12, 1997 m Nay Time in Summer mom After Sesame Street and pocket bread withcheese wasnaptime. Momsaidlonly hadtoclosemyeyeeandjustrestforawhiled didn't even have to really fall asleep like in a real nap. My dad's hammock was my very own, nobody else's. special nap time place. Mom... Show more- - December 12, 1997 m Nay Time in Summer mom After Sesame Street and pocket bread withcheese wasnaptime. Momsaidlonly hadtoclosemyeyeeandjustrestforawhiled didn't even have to really fall asleep like in a real nap. My dad's hammock was my very own, nobody else's. special nap time place. Mom would help me into the yellow. brown. orange, and white striped canvas tied to one elm and one ash. The hammock curled around me leaving only a sliver of blue sky as the breeze rocked me to sleep. The hum of planes overhead and kids playing in the cul-de-sac, the fresh cut grass smell of cool summer mixed with the feel of the sun kissing my skin through the canvas that smelled like tent. Making a little girl sleepy. barefoot, ten toes curled. blue denim coveralls. arms hugging herself in summer. I lieleg John Bremer winterbird hovering over the mantle of the city snow falls past the crimelights toppling snowmen, collecting their coal eyes. clumsy faith magic is no match. words die in the cold of night. i remember you like this John Bremer the way i might an old love, someone i never quite got over, someone i kept secretly hoping to see again even though i knew i was supposed to be forgetting and moving on. i listen for you downstairs; coming in late, the gentle click of the lock behind you. your quiet walk through the kichen still wakes me up again for water and a glance into your old room i remember you like this because you left me and everyone else in our family like mathematics; you got very sick and you died. it was so simple but still ididnotunderstand.thecancerinyourlungs spread white as dying dandelion and tumors emerged from your body like blossoms. closed petalsgrewhardandaslargenfmiLbreaking yourskinwheretheyopened teenageboy. allbranchesandleaves that broke and fell away until you becamealltorso.likeanoldrotting treetrunksothatlaterthemlything wecoulddowmplantflowersallamtmdym wanting you back. wanting you pretty. greenandaliveagam Show less
. m mummmmm MUN-MW. Tthdtowisht-sto Mdnwholefinglishbepnnmentfor Mariammst. Johame mm (Hum-(hm: mom (Minimum m Cubic-mm , I”? 1‘ V WW ' ' F2! DnmdkAn-u imi Pan)me : vaSI g; V , I 7_ h > Zach Cums MIMI”. MyIImBS-ycu'oldmothais amnhadfilylmuwm nhowlohmp. uonionroll— ,Slcdiphapuddk.fallsmdis mummamm -... Show more. m mummmmm MUN-MW. Tthdtowisht-sto Mdnwholefinglishbepnnmentfor Mariammst. Johame mm (Hum-(hm: mom (Minimum m Cubic-mm , I”? 1‘ V WW ' ' F2! DnmdkAn-u imi Pan)me : vaSI g; V , I 7_ h > Zach Cums MIMI”. MyIImBS-ycu'oldmothais amnhadfilylmuwm nhowlohmp. uonionroll— ,Slcdiphapuddk.fallsmdis mummamm - (hamummummp My mom why she fell. ~ manylt’sls. “ = himcpsychhnin'smmmcnxm unfurgctlahlc “In: young um. perhaps 45 years hcr jumor. out up. “my come evay day. pahapa [war a day. talking not at Michm‘lanpclu wmwkmwsaywdcalxulrnanmmw a liking W of .1 him. but "Instead asking questions “WM line is it?” Wisnodock visible from her bed.) “WM (by is today? Whal is today's dame?" mcmmnauraumwmu Mmdunindmmmdwhkhshchu MBMdWmWJb-m.hcuw. (Wmmdnddhamt) “byth 1h-ycfltudoywbvc?‘ MkMvafiwmnfiMwbvd_ “fldnmoflmuufic.d‘afl fimcflhbkm?’ lahuumnqm flfiynmnmu fight-uh” lug" vachlw:&. Show less
December 12, 1997 special issue New Roots Danielle Arett Inspired by “We are the deceased 3' family " from "Soldering" by Sharon Chmielarz We are the deceased's family We name our sons after him We laugh until dawn over the memories And cry over them through lonely midnights Regret: “Why did I... Show moreDecember 12, 1997 special issue New Roots Danielle Arett Inspired by “We are the deceased 3' family " from "Soldering" by Sharon Chmielarz We are the deceased's family We name our sons after him We laugh until dawn over the memories And cry over them through lonely midnights Regret: “Why did I ever do those things?" Anger: “How could You take him away from me. From us when we need him so much?" Fear: “Now I'll go to Hell, and then I‘ll never see him again." We obsess over should have's and what if ’s We remind each other how we are like him tw‘ And try to remember he was human, with both good sides and had We say what he would think. say and do In these events in which death has forbidden him to take part Yet he does He takes part in us, lives in us The shadows under our eyes The creases between our eyebrows Our long legs, our heavy hearts He is in all those things The way we argue. the way we play ’llie way we tease. the way we talk We are living reflections of him We are the deceased‘s family We know what not to take for granted Precious lite—so unstable 'lhey say we deal with abandonment issues A death complex lurking in our subconscious A monster named Fear who takes over our minds When we‘re staring at the clock. waiting. praying “Please. God. let her be okay." “Please. God. let him come home soon." “Please. God. don‘t do it again." And when the phone rings at an unusual hour “( )h. (Bod. who was it this time?" For us. death is not only loss. But the conception of terror Our hearts become wombs for this demon ()ur actions prenatal care And our lives are lived in labor The cord never to be cut Until we die. And our children adopt the Fear We aue the deceased‘s family We are survivors living one heartbeat at a time We share loss when we share holidays Our Last Supper took place eighteen years ago We still the empty chair We have pemussion to make it into a throne Faflh Headierhasfaithinherpmducts. 'l‘hereisnotoolshecannotgnsp. 'Iheyamngetheunelvesamtmdherinmlsof ‘liandf’and‘ieady-to.” onslielves,inhoxes,stackedincupboards. cleanlypachgedkits,creams,oils,compactsandge dazzlinginfrostedglassandslu'inkwnp. ‘ Mthapreciseeyesheselects: a lock de-iocr, a mustache bleach. acodttocapopenedwinewithatinyplasticpineapple gluedtoitstop. Ukeagenie,shenodshahcad.blinks. snapsherfingersanditworks. SmesheaLstovetopsglearmmeatglnzes, socksstayup,hedsmdown,teethwhiten, Thewholehmsehumswithbelief inhabottledteclmologies. Shesmiles, opensabook,takesamp. aifitwuenothing. ’I'ln'siswhyllowher. mmdmmm 'herntiomlftithtlml’vemhad. Mymbeliefunthelikeliddenbinas. fanfingaeaetfmlsndpdhflgmm bikinis-albinism), diesdfligllaacklundaiqflyhuual. leflhmhhfitbm twink.“thch “mum rump-hm», “iv-lulled. dfiaflym “magma Show less
October 17, 1997 page 7 HE AUGSBURG INTERNET Scavenger Hunt is mnning through October in celebration of the dedication of the James G. Lindell Family Library. There‘s a terrific prize at stake each week! For week three (Oct. 20) first prize is a $25 Good Earth Restaurant gift certificate and two... Show moreOctober 17, 1997 page 7 HE AUGSBURG INTERNET Scavenger Hunt is mnning through October in celebration of the dedication of the James G. Lindell Family Library. There‘s a terrific prize at stake each week! For week three (Oct. 20) first prize is a $25 Good Earth Restaurant gift certificate and two General Cinema movie passes. For week four (Oct. 27) the big prize is a Global Village 33.6Kbps Teleport modem/fax/speakerphone for a Macintosh. Plus. each week the first 15 people to answer all the Scavenger Hunt questions correctly win AT &T phone cards. And don’t forget that all participants who send in correct answers will be entered in a drawing for the grand prize. a year of free Internet Service from Vector Internet Services. The con- test starts at 11 a.m. each Monday. Go to the Scavenger Hunt Web page to play. Person wanted, part time: To sell display advertising in AC’I‘C Joint Class Schedule for the Associated Colleges of the Twin Cities. Ideal for student with marketing or media communications major. Must be self-starter, have own transportation and cover the geographic areas of ACT C campus businesses. We pay commission on copy sold, plus expenses. We will train. Apply by phone or in person by Friday, October 17. Contact: Barbara Breza, Hamline University. 1463 Hewitt Avenue, St. Paul, MN 55104; 644-1759. Eldfiliggition URPHY SQUARE and the Augsburg Student Government announce The John Engman Creative Writing Prize in Fiction and Poetry. The prize is named in honor of poet and alumnus John Engrnan. This is the second year that Augsburg has sponsored a stu- dent literary competition. The Engman Prize will award up to three prizes of $100 each in short fiction and up to three prizes of $100 each in poetry. The panel of judges for the contest reserves the right to withhold awards if entries are not deemed to be of winning quality. To enter the short fiction compe- tition, writers must submit one complete short story. not to exceed 15 pages in length. To enter the poetry competition, writers must submit three poems. Writers must be students enrolled at Augsburg College. Creative writers may enter each of the two categories. but they may win a prize in one category only. Each entry must be accompanied by a cover letter, listing the name of the writer and the titles of the work(s) enclosed. Names of the authors and poets must not be list- ed on the works submitted. Cover letters and work should be sub- mitted in a sealed envelope. Entry deadline for the competition is Friday. November 14. Application cover letters and sup— porting manuscripts must be deliv- ered to the English Department Office, 221A Memorial Hall. by 4 pm. on that day. This is not a postmark deadline. Winners will be announced on Wednesday. November 26. \Vinning pieces will be published in the Augsburg Echo. CLASSIFIEDS 'J obs: Part-time evening and weekend entry-level medical positions. Call Rose or Sherry @331-9180. -Hi h Quality COLLEGE STfiDEN’I‘S and recent graduates! Cutting edge. expanding global- ly. is seeking fast-paced. talented people for legal & global expan- sion. Flex hours! Call 585-8972. -9 per hour!!! Part time!!! Need local delivery drivers. Company vehicle. good driving record required. Flex hours. 3-8 pm. M-F. Call Jeff or Patty @ 633-1612. -TRAVEL—Teach English$ S days/40 hrs (October 29 - November 2). Course to certify YOU—Teacher of English (TESOL). Government approved. 1.000‘s of employment contacts. Free info pack. call toll free 1- 888-270-2941. 'Spring Break ‘98—Scll Trips. Alumni Continued from page 1 Vaagenes also travels around the world to speak at various confer~ ences and churches. and has been a major factor in establishing such programs as the International Lutheran Conference on the Holy Spirit and Renewal International. a television ministry aired in ten states as well as Western Europe. “I give all glory to God for what- everI have accomplished through my life," said Vaagenes. "For it is by His grace alone that I am standing here today, and it is by the leadership of His Holy Spirit that anything worthwhile has hap- pened in my life." Vaagenes' father was also honored in 1960 as a Distinguished Alumni. Carolyn Lower Bliss graduated magna cum laude from Augsburg, which was really only the begin- ning. She emphasizes that. "Augsburg was a good start," and went on to describe Augsburg's stand on lifelong leaming. Not only has Bliss contributed to the field of church music here in the 'I\vin Cities area. but she has traveled to and studied in Norway as a Fulbright scholar. There she studied both music history and organ, and had the honor of pre- senting a book edited by the uni- versity she studied at to King Olav V. Since then. she has held various positions at churches around the area. finally retiring as Director of Music Ministry in 1996 from Nativity Lutheran Church in Minneapolis. She has published many articles on music. and even published a book on church music. Bliss also maintains close ties with the college. Along with writing letters to fellow alumni to inform them of various events during the course of the year. she arranged for Augsburg to host the 1993 National Conference of the Association of Lutheran Musicians. As she gave her accep- tance speech. Bliss reflected on the themes of the college. not only lifelong learning but also educa— tion for service. "I often wonder if Augsburg College has a song besides the hymn. Not the fight song." she added, then going on to suggest a prayer the choir used to sing at chapel. "Gracious Lord. thanks we give for unending gifts of love. For all this we bless thee. ever- more we praise thee. Amen." she recited. Kinney Johnson went on to the University of Minnesota's gradu- ate school of business after fin- ishing school at Augsburg, and received his MS. degree from the Consider A Career 1‘s 1‘ Doctor 0 Normwusmm College or unimpncuc has when an inmrnauom icpuadon as In inncncivn leader In chlmpncu‘c education. Our since“ is a cumuiauy. prnclshk hryns Mrh our clinical cduucian Inow-rim. designed lo develop muse skills required 0' a future Jllmpr-acde physician to suncnsslully men: the challenge: or a rapldly changing health an Wm. i: soda-I opportunities. AND ACCEPT A/V [NV/7A 7/0” FROM NDRTIIWEWERN 0011565 0F BH/ROPRAL‘TIL‘ 70 CAREER DAY 1997 Saturday. Oct - is. 1997 ' Io a-m. — 2 p-ll|- anniinuu with Nonhwcncrn'r dlniczl research program. . whldi ls dedlared to (he pursulr oi new science mama to chimpncuc are. Finally. SUCCESS Is fostered by the rigorous interdiscipli- nary curriculum. balanced with clubs, orpniuuons and many _ w. 73 €- ricrrr mud yvu u... .nycci. - Learn about (he chimpncec pmluslon: - Meet faculty. m" and nude-nu; - Tour our Show less
October 17, 1997 é’éSports page 8 ' 5 Running Back Thane Drier breaks in the backfield (above). Wide receiver Scott Hvistendahl leaps for one of his many receptions Saturday. Photos: 72 Adams » Football Team Defeats Carleton at Homecoming by Tracy Gluinicli Consultant The Auggies rallied in the... Show moreOctober 17, 1997 é’éSports page 8 ' 5 Running Back Thane Drier breaks in the backfield (above). Wide receiver Scott Hvistendahl leaps for one of his many receptions Saturday. Photos: 72 Adams » Football Team Defeats Carleton at Homecoming by Tracy Gluinicli Consultant The Auggies rallied in the third quarter of the homecoming game last Saturday to beat Carleton 35— 21. The first quarter began a little shaky for Augsburg. “It started off with Carleton sensing the possi- bility of an upset." said Jack Osberg. head coach. On the third play of the game. one of Carleton‘s defensive backs picked up a fumble and ran the ball 59 yards for a touchdown. Shortly after in the first quarter. Carleton ran again for a second touchdown and they gained a quick 14 - 0 lead. Fortunately, Augsburg responded with a touchdown made by junior running back. Thane Drier. who made a 32 yard run to score. At the end of the first quarter, the Auggies were behind 14-7 which put them in a tough situation because they had never been behind in the first quarter before. Exley Receives MIAC and National Honors byiJinir Retérson W §ports ngr‘Writer Comerback Jason Exley played the game of his life at the homecoming game against Carleton last week- end. Exley intercepted three Knight passes, and broke up five more passes as the Auggies beat the Knights 35-2]. Exley was named MIAC Co-Defensive Player of the Week for his heroics, becoming the third Auggie football player this year to win the award. Exley was also named NCAA Division [11 National Defensive Player of the Week by Dan Hansen’s Football Gazette. Exley is the first Auggie to ever earn the national honor. Exley‘s three interceptions in one game also tied Augsburg single-game record. Men’s Soccer: Augsburg Beats Regionally Ranked Bethel 1-0 by Rodny Toni CofltfibthY , Last year the Augsburg soccer team had only two wins, neither of which were in the MIAC. So far this year the Auggies have five wins. seven losses. and one tie. TWO of those wins are MIAC vic- tories. Both MIAC wins were at home, giving the Auggies a two game winning streak at home. Not only did Augsburg defeat both Hamline and Bethel. but goal- keeper Morgan Davidsen shut out both teams. Augsburg‘s Homecoming game was Saturday. October 11. against Bethel. In the locker room the team members talked about their goals for the game. The goals that were discussed would hopefully make the team better than just mediocre Bethel is one of the top teams in the conference because they seem to surprise other teams with quick. early goals. Augsburg coaches Benjy Kent and Jason Alexander decided that the Auggies should not allow a goal in the first fif- teen minutes and the last fifteen minutes of each half. Thus, keep- ing Bethel‘s early attacks in check and not allowing the Auggies to slack at the end of each half. The Auggies took the field with con- fidence that they could win their Homecoming game. The Auggies did more than just contain Bethel‘s early attacks. They did not allow the Royals an opportunity to attack. Right from the kickoff, Augsburg showed they were ready to win. The defense played tighter than it had all year. The midfield and for— wards moved the ball around the field and toward the goal better than ever. First Year Student Paul Hennessy explained after the game. “We were definitely on fire. We came together and played the way we should have been playing all year. Awesome!" The real highlight came midway through the first half while Augsburg was attacking. The Auggies were passing the ball with quick one touches. Senior Scott Ritchie received the ball at about the twenty yard line. made a cut and passed the ball to hard» working First Year Student Aaron Pistor. Aaron made a slight move. glanced up at Bethel’s goalkeeper. and shot low and hard. Bethel's goalkeeper dove to his left with outstretched arms. but could not save the perfectly placed shot. The Auggies went nuts. fans and all. No one was more excit- ed than Aaron, who stretched his arms out wide. gave an enthusi- astic yell. and ran around crazin until he fell to the turf. A player commented on Aaron. “Aaron Pistor really came up big for us in the Homecoming game. He is the bomb." Although the Auggies did not score another goal. the team still played strong. They held the Regionally tenth»ranked Royals to only eight shots for the game. Augsburg‘s next game is at Macalaster. Saturday. October l8th. The soccer team would like your support. as this is one of the biggest games of the season. Macalaster is ranked fifth in the nation. l will be there. I hope you will be. too. Carleton started the second quar- ter with a big play for a touch— down. Augsburg responded to this early touchdown with two more Auggie touchdowns. Both of these were touchdown passes made by senior quarterback Den-in Lamker to junior.wide receiver Scott Hvistendahl. Augsburg was then tied with Carleton at half time, 2]»21. Augsburg continued the momen- tum of the second quarter and dominated the third quarter by scoring two more touchdowns. Andrew Anthony. senior. was responsible for one of the touch- downs on a 20 yard run. Lamker made another successful pass to Hvistendahl for the other touch- down. Another key to the success of the second half was two crucial stops made in the third quarter by the defense. which took Carleton out of scoring opportunities. Individually. Augsburg defense had key players for the game. Comer back Jason Exley. senior. was named MIAC player of the week because of his exceptional performance. He had three in r‘ ceptions. three tackles and fiv knocked down passes. Bo Schultz. senior linebacker. led if team with 13 tackles, while Stev'. Sathre. junior, also had a gre defensive game with 12 tack] ‘ and one sack. Overall. the statistics were not out- standing for the game. The te I struggled defensively while giv' ’ up three touchdowns in the firs ‘ half and also struggled offensive: ly. having the lowest yardage of , the season. “I think it was a good wake up call for Augsburg,‘ reminding them that they need to- concentrate and that they can‘ ‘ afford slips,” said Osberg. Osberg acknowledged the grea' fan support and admits that it w - a great win for homecoming. ' i, win advances their record to 51, which puts them in second place tie with St. Thomas. This Saturday the Augsburg foot ” ball team will play Gustavus on the road. Gustavus has only two . losses and will prove to be a chal~ lenge for the Auggies. Gustavus beat St. John’s last weekend. Softball Sc Wre/sct] Cross-8%??th i O FOOTBALL: Record 5-1 MEN’S SOCCER: VOLLEYBALL: WOMEN’S GOLF: Sports Week scores Week of 10/7-10/13 ' Augsburg vs. Carleton win 35-2 Augsburg vs. Northland 1033 150 Augsburg vs. St. John's loss 3-1 Augsburg vs. Bethel win 1-0 WOMEN’S SOCCER: Augsburg vs. Brandeis Univ. win 2- 1 Augsburg vs. Curry College win 3-1 v Record 1-3-1 MIAC, 7-3-2 overall ' Augsburg vs. Hamline win 15-13 MIAC Tournament, Augsburg 7th Show less
October 17. 1997 EEFeatures page 4 Inauguaration Gala Ushers in New Era b ler Livingston y 13m“ Writer HAT WILL probably be hailed as the greatest and most grandiose cel- ebrations in Augsburg's 128 year history occurred Saturday. October II. The Inauguration ofWilliam V. Frame. PhD. as the Tenth... Show moreOctober 17. 1997 EEFeatures page 4 Inauguaration Gala Ushers in New Era b ler Livingston y 13m“ Writer HAT WILL probably be hailed as the greatest and most grandiose cel- ebrations in Augsburg's 128 year history occurred Saturday. October II. The Inauguration ofWilliam V. Frame. PhD. as the Tenth President of Augsburg College was truly a historic moment because the body of Augsburg College — not just the individual students. faculty. staff. alumni. and guests — appeared. was glorified, and was given due reverence as we welcomed and initiated President Frame. Immediately after the Auggies defeated Carleton 35-21. the festivities were set in motion by a processional featuring the Augsburg College Band directed by Robert Stacke. The processional welcomed the flags of some of the nationalities represented at our school. banners displaying the various orga- nizations on campus. the representatives from the honored classes of ‘47 and ‘72. the repre- sentatives from the graduating classes of the Jensen. Chris Kimball. M, Anita Hawthorne. Virginia Dahlen Baali. Kathy Tunheim. Dwayne Lowman. H. George Anderson. Loren J. Anderson. Lowell Almen. \thliam V. Frame. Philip Quanbeck Sr.. and David T. Wold; The class representatives delivered speeches to the theme of‘Together in Spirit and Vision" while reminiscing about their lives as students. Jensen spoke of his classmates who had orig- inally come to Augsburg. but left school to join the fight during WWII. and he noted that some returned but many did not. Baali spoke of her and her friends‘ deep involvement with Augsburg activities and classes. She declared that she couldn't help but be taken up with what Augsburg was doing and what she was doing with Augsburg. The Augsburg Concert Band. Augsburg Choir. Riverside Singers, Augsburg Orchestra. Augsburg Gospel Praise. and Masterworks Chorale all performed marvelously. They set the tone for this celebratory event. and the Gospel Praise group received a standing ova- tion for “Every Time I Feel the Spirit" from a crowd of predominantly elder Norwegians Frame during his response speech. If there hadn‘t been over a thousand people in atten- dance. I'm sure everyone would have wanted to shake his hand or even hug him for his very personal speech. I don't believe we broke a single egg-shell when we chided Frame’s speaking ability. whereas some brave-hearted soul put egg on his or her face by telling the giant that he has some work to do. Frame completely and utterly amazed the audience by his presence and poise behind the lectem. Senior Calvin Hansen cemented. “I believe he [Frame] gained a lot of confidence today...its good for him. and its good for the school." Throughout the Inauguration. I couldn‘t help thinking about Lois Lowrey‘s The Giver. There is a scene in that book that describes the community chanting a new child's given name. and as the chants become louder and louder, it gives the reader the sense that the community is accepting the new child into its life. The body of Augsburg and the individu- als who create that body have certainly wel- comed our new president. and we are all look- in six previous decades. and other distinguished guests and speakers. including: Mark Hanson. Barbara Gage. Inex Schwarzkopf. J. Vernon (which is a feat indeed!) ing forward to Frame‘s (or leadership. “Fram s ) Of course. the spotlight was on President p a u s a doorway in space allowing moon‘s light to beam through. The chilling sound of trickling water under a frozen sheet of ice was eerie and could freeze a soul with a snap of its icy finger. Pine needles covered the ice. but an object stuck out through the camouflage. It was a pair of striped mittens. stranded and ignored. THE WIND blew fiercely. Clouds covered the dark sky except for Surrounding the forbidding river were snow covered pine trees. their boughs bending sadly to the ground with the weight of white snow. Through the trees, a young skater could be seen on the frozen river. The sharp blades of her skates crisply cut the ice. avoiding the mittens each time she passed them. Her body was bent and her arms reached forward into the dark nothing, moving back and forth with each motion of her legs. Her cold azure eyes stared vacantly over the blue woolen scarf wrapped loosely around her pale face and neck. Suddenly. a loud scream and a great cracking noise. The sound of the trickling water became a roar as it swallowed the skates and the young girl inside them. The roaring gradually returned to a trickle. The hole in the ice vanished. A new voice came over the snow covered hill towards the river. “Ray... Ray!" No response. “Rachel?” It was followed by a young girl run- ning down the hill towards the river. letting it's steep slope pull her faster and faster. She couldn't easily be recognized in the darkness. but her green hat was visible in a streak of moonlight. the tassel bobbing as she ran. When she reached the stream. the window of moonlight filtered onto her face. She looked confused. searching the ice with puzzlement. walk— ing carefully upon the frozen. crunchy moss. The wind whistled past her ears. A movement caught her eye. It was a blue cloth skittering by on the ice—a scarf. The wind died down for a moment and the scarf was still. It appeared that the person who’d been wearing it had disappeared and forgotten it on the ice. The woman stepped onto the ice cautiously and began to walk towards the scarf. When she reached it. she kneeled onto the glassy surface and picked it up. She held it close to her face. as if she recognized it. Her soft auburn eyes shed a tear. It trickled down her cheek and froze. She paid no atten- tion to the striped mittens resting nearby. Suddenly. a great cracking noise. The young woman stood abruptly. The blue scarf fell from her hands onto the cracking ice. She fear-fully stepped back towards the snowy bank. The water became a great roar. She was silent as the water swallowed her in its icy mouth. Everything was soon calm again. The wind stopped. the trees were still. and the moon still peered through it's open door. On the ice. covered in pine needles lay the striped mittens, the blue scarf and. a green hat. its tassel freshly frozen to the ice. b } I think When the branch breaks, When the bird sings. I hear the bells ringing Of schools. When the sea roars. When the wind blows, I hear people chanting The slogans of freedom From subjugation. When the night falls. When the moon shines. I see people in dim light In huts in slum. When the sun burns, When the wind is hot. I see deserted streets And a ruined town. When people are fighting. When there is firing. I smell smoke And see blood. And When pulse stops. When heartbeat ends. I see death and tranquillity In the motionless body. Day begins with morning sounds. Life begins with a cry. Day ends with dark night. Life ends when we die. by Roshni Shaft The Augsburg Echo is a Member of the: 820 may um: I 330 21;: Ave. 5. Minneapolis, MN 55455 What did you think of Homecoming? “I liked the song Jennifer Grimm sang In the talent show" “The dance. There was really good music. It was a fun. relaxing Lime.“ Anne Baily Jessica Rivera “I enjoyed the inauguration and the events after that because of the way they brought alumni. students. and faculty together." "The football game. I went to all the gamcsf George Kwangwara Man Rod‘s!" “Dancing in the tent with zippered windows." Tisha Hooylmn Ire.--- ,. ; Show less