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Title: Augsburg Echo April 19, 2013, Page 04
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: OPINIONS Friday, April 19, 2013 Letters to the editor Leave your comfort zone As my freshmen year ofcollege narrows down to its final four weeks, I have come to realize and appreciate the various endings of the cycles we face. I realized out of the countless situations I have been through. there...
Show moreOPINIONS Friday, April 19, 2013 Letters to the editor Leave your comfort zone As my freshmen year ofcollege narrows down to its final four weeks, I have come to realize and appreciate the various endings of the cycles we face. I realized out of the countless situations I have been through. there were only a handful that I clearly remembered. Most imponantly. I only remem- bered the ones that were full of excitement. I have watched various ﬁlms, read numerous books and scrolled through Tumblr enough to know that we must always grab life by the horns. However. that cliche idea didn‘t fully register with me until recently, A few weeks ago I made a prom- ise to myself that I would ﬁnally put my running shoes to use and go for a run on Saturday. I don't fully understand why 1 had made that promise because I usually come from work fairly late on Friday nights. but for whatever reason. I told myself that I would get up early in the moniing despite how diﬂieult it would be. The next morning. I delivered that promise. It wasn't my best run. but it did remind me ofsomething I haven‘t fully grasped yet: enjoying life to the fullest (yes. even as a college student with limited resources). It’s not exactly a New Year's resolution because we all know how well they work out. but rather a new life resolution. Ifa beneﬁcial opportunity presents itself, without any doubt, I'll take it. Come to think ofit, I've always wanted to go skydiving over the 3 beautiful beaches in Mogadishu or sand surf. As we all grow into responsible adults, we see ourselves neglecting activities that make us feel genu» inely happy and often resolve to only doing things because it looks good on our graduate school orjob applications. I'm not asking my fellow Aug- gie comrades to become a clone oflim Carrey in Yes Man. but to try things that the previous version ofthem wouldn‘t dare to. The idea doesn't suggest one needs to be reckless,just a little fearless. Even though I dreaded waking up early for that run. nonetheless. it was a pleasant reminder for me because it feels better to say. “do you remember that one time...“ rather than “I wish I..." Mona Abdulle Omar Interfaith dialogue This letter is written to enlighten the Augsburg community about a growing human consciousness. In panicular. the attacks of Sep- tember It. 2001 enabled many of us to be more cognizant of the \torld around us. Since this turn~ ing point the world has witnessed the \arious discussions around the question of religion and the assumptions placed on specific religions. Bill Mahcr produced a thought-protoking documentary. “Relrgulou. and Peter Roger explores religion in his short ﬁlm “0h |\l_\ od." Therefore. religion and discussions conceming it are around us Augsburg College is among the man) to open its doors to interfaith dialogue. on Patel's \isit to Augsburg inspired us to realize the imponiince ofh.i\ ing interfaith di- alogue. Augsburg College thm es on the coopemine. constructne .ind positnc interaction between people ofditTerent religious tr‘adr» lions and or spiritual or humanistic beliet: at both the indi\idual and institutional le\ els. I‘he \\ orld is a \3st place tilled \\Ilh humanity 's dixerse back~ grounds »\d\ unces in technolog) enable . me of us to experience and enrich ouisehes \\llh these various ethnicities. religions and perspectives. The Augsburg cam- pus is an example of the world coming together in one place. Often times. people assume the various backgrounds of individu- als are a catalyst to conﬂict. On the larger scale, some may believe re- ligious. ethnic or national conﬂicts are a result of these differences. Although in some cases this might be true. diversity supports innoy a- [l\ e thinking and growth in human consciousness. Religion courses at Augsburg contain interreligious themes. They engage students as partners in ongoing interreligious dialogue and action b} exploring methods and best practices for talking about religion in a diverse democracy. Augsburg Interfaith Scholars are striting to prmide thought—pro— \ oking e\periences and supportit e interreligious programs. Initiain es hate been started to raise an are— ne“ for a religious neutral pra) er space. interfaith dialogue on Face- book and on-campus interfaith ECII\III¢S, Keep _\ our e) es open for the e\- citing interfaith work being done by )our fello“ classmates! Le) la Sahal Fear to speak How would you feel ifyour own grandparents who do not speak English and are unaware of their new environment were being taken advantage of? Interning at the Brian C oyle Center has opened my eyes to the various issues facing the Riverside community. The one group that is affected the most is the senior citizens of this community that do not speak the English language. I have no- ticed that certain landlords are tak- ing advantage of these poor elders. Those who are not ﬁrst-generation elderly immigrants are able to ex- ert their power and rights against any injustices that they may face. However, elderly immigrants do not exert their rights. Elders come to my internship complaining about various prob- lems: electrical. plumbing. sani- tary issues and just plain rude landlords are among the many complaints. These elders fear the consequences of speaking up; the fear that once they voice their complaints their landlord will kick them out. When we tell them we i will call their landlords to com- plain on their behalf. they refuse due to their fears. During the winter, we have elders come to us who still do not have their heat on. I truly am disappointed in our community for not speaking up for those who cannot. It is unfortunate to know that some members of advantage of by those whom they should trust in. We, as Augsburg students. staff and faculty should exert a conscious effort and be aware about the things happening around us. Halima Adan Supporting Abel I am writing this letter to voice my support for Abel Knochel who is currently an assistant professor in the social work department. I am deeply disappointed that such a phenomenal professor was not hired. More importantly, I am concerned that Augsburg will lose a valuable individual who is extremely knowledgeable and passionate about social work community practice and is able to engage and excite students from all walks oflife around this issue. I was a student in Abel‘s Com- munity Practice class in the spring trimester of 2012. Entering this course, I was very intimidated by the class subject but Abel was able to communicate and engage us with the concepts in a very real and understandable manner. From my perspectite as student who iden- tiﬁes as Laotian-American and a ﬁrst generation college student. Abel has gone abme and beyond to make me feel comfonable to share my perspecthes in class. Abel holds all students to a high standard of critical thinking and analysis. Though other professors also do thS 2e has done this in the upmost responsive and encourag- ing manner when I had doubts about my academic ability While dealing with a family crisrs. I can honestl) so) without Abel‘s sup- port dunng my third trimester at Augsburg I do not know ifI would have been able to successfully continue in the program. Abel not being hired is a great disappointment and I am in dis- belief that the candidate with stellar qualiﬁcations, amazing teaching ability, countless posi- tive relationships with students. and someone who‘s integrity and diversity would enrich the college would not be offered the tenure track position. I would like the hiring com- mittee. Lori Peterson, Dean of Graduate Studies. and President Pribbenow to reconsider this deci» sion. Please consider what is best for future students of social work and the diversity of the Augsburg faculty. I ask the college to hold themselves to the same standards it sets for students in the mission statement "to be informed citizens, thoughtful stewards. critical think- ers. and responsible leaders." I would like to be able to con- tinue to say how proud I am to be attending Augsburg College and that my instimte of higher educa« tion firmly believes and stands behind their mission statement that “the Augsburg experience is sup- ported by an engaged community that is committed to intentional diversity in its life and work." Denise Xayaroun Page 4 To-Echo readers: This issue concludes production of the Echo in the 2012-13 year. and concludes my time here. I end my editorship with an attitude to wards the Echo and Augsburg very different to the one I began with. When Becki Iverson,l I, asked me to succeed her as editor-in-chief, I was nervous and cynical. In my ﬁrst letter from the editor in Sept. 201 l , I tried to be honest about that attitude. I wrote that Augsburg and I didn’t know each other very well although I had been a student here for two years. and that I reveled in my anonymity here. I credited my- self with spewing “self-righteous selpritying bullshit" in the very article in which I intended to in- troduce myself. I was conﬁised. Augsburg had been pushing me to deﬁne myself, and the more she I pushed. the more I pushed back. I‘m still confused, but most of the deﬁning I've done, most of the identity I've assumed here was organically cultivated by the Echo. those involved in it. and our attempt to deﬁne it. When I our community are being taken 1 85k“ the AUESburg community to please help make the Echo what it will in that ﬁrst article. my plea probably reﬂected more upon my own uncertainties than those of the publication. But I think it also suggested some ideals which I now identify strongly with. ideals that are central to the Echo's iden- tity as I see it: that it is what you make it, that it is undeﬁned until a group of students comes together to deﬁne it. The group I've worked with in the last two years was committed to doingjustice to what we believe is the role of campus press and what we believe is not the role of campus press. We believe the role of campus press is to hold a mirror up to the college, to not allow it to pretend it‘s something that it it’s not. and to push it to become something that it has the ' potential to be. We believe the role of campus press is not to act as a PR tool for the college or the col— lege's cheerleader. It is a means for students to shape the mold of the college. to do intelligent work. to bring justice where it's due. Next year’s editor-in-chief, Jenny Pinther will neither spew self-righteous self-pitying bullshit at Echo readers, nor romanticized reﬂections regarding her identity and that of this publication. She is much more sensible than I am. much less confused. I feel ground- ed by her, and I am conﬁdent that all those who work with her in the coming years, at the Echo and else- where. will feel the same. Jenny's council has been crucial to me this year. and I thank her for it. New editors and new writers mean a new newspaper. and I encourage you to take pan in its creation. Becca Andersen
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 19, 2013, Page 05
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: OPINIONS Friday, April 19, 2013 Page 5 Common Sense: Perils of the technology age Multiple explosions. Dead, injured and confused civilians run- ning for cover. Families torn apart. Promises'of vengeance made. A nation united by sorrow and anger in the face ofan unseen foe. This is not just...
Show moreOPINIONS Friday, April 19, 2013 Page 5 Common Sense: Perils of the technology age Multiple explosions. Dead, injured and confused civilians run- ning for cover. Families torn apart. Promises'of vengeance made. A nation united by sorrow and anger in the face ofan unseen foe. This is not just Boston, Mass. of the United States of America, This is Pakistan. This is Somalia. This is Yemen. l mourn the newest addition to the record of recent violence in the United States. I have relatives in Boston, and a favorite professor of mine ran in the marathon where the explosions took place. But as “global citizens" per Augsburg‘s mission statement, we would do well to remember that we are not only victims of targeted violence but also the perpetrators. We are not alone in our losses; the dire need for peace should bring us together in awareness and under- standing across all boundaries. Unmanned Arial Vehicles (UAVs). commonly referred to as “drones,” are the result of a Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) program started under the Bush administration. Drones extend our reach for surveillance and air- strikes to areas otherwise deemed too dangerous for ground troops. Their use, which was intended to allow us to remotely target (read: assassinate) terrorist leaders, has led to collateral damage (read: thousands of civilian deathS, in- cluding women and children). President Obama vastly expanded this program in light ofa need for troop drawdown that wouldn‘t sacriﬁce “stability” (read: ability to kill people) in the region. What does this program look like today'.7 We have drones oper- ating (read: bombing) in countries in which we are not at war, which violates international law. The secretive nature of the program‘s controllers, mostly the CIA but also the Joint Special Operations Command (JSOC), keeps the program exempt from oversight Ind transparency. Media coverage of out drone strikes, which have blown up weddings and school buses. is kept to a minimum. Jimmy Carter wrote in the New York Times last yearthat the drone program is “only the most recent. disturbing proof of how far our nation‘s violation of human rights bu extended." Even if for some reason you weretodisregardthemonland le- gal obligations we have to abstain from Hellﬁre mixiles on little kirk Overseas. the program‘s ﬁnancial cost is not negligible: tone tedinology cost billions of doll-stodcvelopandmillklsper stone to intolerant, mlintmanoe I recently attended an anti- drone, anti-war rally that com- prised a wide variety of political groups, ranging from socialists to libertarians and everyone in be- tween. Thisjust goes to show that you don’t need a certain partisan label to protest against the glaring human rights violations that we‘ve half-assedly tried to justify with the umbrella term of “terrorism.” Are there organizations that use violence and intimidation to get their way? Yes. Should they be allowed to kill unfettered? No. Does this excuse our ﬂagrant rights violations? Absolutely not. The New Yorker's Borowitz Report satirically reported that 97 percent 'of participants in a poll indicated that they were strongly opposed to being killed by a drone. Sadly, this hits pretty close to home: drones are being considered for domestic use even as they rain death upon the Middle East. There were surprisingly few young people at the rally, and I couldn‘t help but wonder if this was thanks to the wonders of so- cial media. Many “attendees” on the rally's Facebook event didn’t show up. I had the privilege of discussing this very topic-the actual effect social media has in organizing for protestsial the Phones in the Field seminar at the Nobel Peace Prize Forum's Global Day on March [0. The discussion there featured experts and schol- ars from Tunisia. Egypt, Yemen and elsewhere and concluded that social media has only a secondary effect. People still need to get out into the streets and take action. The media has given plenty of attention to the Boston bombings, even going as far as labeling it as "terrorism" and insinuating that a Saudi National was a "suspect." rather than a “witness.” which is the current story. Jumping to con- clusions and reinforcing negative stereotypes of Arabs or any other groups is exactly the opposite of what we need in the light ofthese tragedies. Speaking ofjumping to conclu- sions. the United States recently "leaked" intel that indicates North Korea may have a more advanced nuclear program than previously believed, What happened the last time our “intel” asserted that a foreign power illicitly possessed nukes? Oh, right. we invaded and occupied them in what would become the longest and most ex- pensive attack in our history. The greatest amount of resourcesiin the form of time. dollars and litesishould not be expended for the cause of the least justiﬁable rationale. Let‘s not make this another haq War. As the (vastly ) more powerful country in aggregate terms and in eyes away from the screens. The “leader's Tips l #01 Math Qunographg 101 I'm bad at math, so the equation, 2n+2n, is 4n to me. The teacher said I was average. but I wasjust being mean. He became a math teacher due to some prime factors. I didn't understand the math, so the teacher summed it up for me. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. I met a math profess who has 12 children; she really knows how to multiply. regard to international backing. it is our job to respond clearly and nonviolently to Kim Jong-un's threats. Kudos to newly appointed Secretary of State John Kerry for his work doing just this. Experts acknowledge that the cycle of ramping up militaristic threats , before simmering down again is North Korea‘s tried-and-true tactic for soliciting rewards of humanitarian aid and lowered sanctions. This method saves face for the “supreme leader," seeing as their nationalistic propaganda state could not endure the defeat a real war would bring. They have ‘ nothing to gain from anything more than bluster, so let‘s chill out. Nobody‘s nuking anybody else. The national tunnel vision we develop in light of nation death and destruction should not blind us to ‘ the plight of the world, but rather give us a way to relate to those who are victimized abroad every day in the same way we are a few times a year. Why should justice reside only within the United States? These events, however tragic. should be a catalyst for discussion and problem solving on both a lo- cal and global scale. To bring the conversation back ‘ locally: thiswcek I will be honored with the distinction ofbeing sworn in as the president ofthe Augsburg Day Student Government. 1 very i much intend to raise awareness ‘ and initiate action, not just about i the issues of our time. but about how the media can inﬂuence our ‘ perceptions of these issues. We need understanding and communi- cation to solve our problems. Due to technological advancements. global and local are becoming one and the sameifor better or worse. i Maybe when drones swarm the Minnesota air, ﬁlling our ears with explosions and an omnipresent mechanical hum, we will tear our © l'vc failed the mathematics test so many times, I lost count. are absent-minded. zoo TAEToMEa lW COM 1 PW workaround“ Augsburg stewardship: our tLlllodivesl Brett geese: Alumni“ ’07, r W An exciting movement is build— ing across our campus. It is en- ergizing and uniting students. alumni, faculty and staff in its wake. It is rcinvigorating our col- lege's environmental awareness and helping make connections be- tween Augsburg‘s call to steward- ship and how we choose to act in the world. The “Divest Augsburg: Go Fossil Free!" movement is not calling on our Augsburg leadership for anything radical. It's simply asking that our community have the ethical fortitude to stand up and preserve the climatic conditions that we know, love. and depend on. A bit ofcontext. Overwhelming scientiﬁc evidence has continued to conﬁrm that climate change is accelerating. Researchers have also done the math recently and found that as a global community we cannot safely burn even half of the proven fossil-fuel reserves currently available to us without imperiling our planet beyond a climatic tipping point that would warm our planet’s average tem- peratures more than two degrees Celsius. In response. this past Wednesday the Augsburg Day Student govem- menl passed a near-unanimous resolution calling on Augsburg College‘s Board of Regents to immediately freeze any new in vestment in fosstl-fuel companies within Augsburg's endowment. The resolution reads. “we be- lieve such action on behalf of Augsburg College will not only be a sound decisron for our institu» tion’s ﬁnancial portfolio. but also for the wellbeing of its current and future graduating classes. w ho deserve the opportunity to gradu‘ ate with a future not deﬁned by climate chaos.“ or Decima Augsburg‘s fossil free divest- ment coalition does not stand alone. In fact. it has joined with hundreds of campuses, public institutions. faith congregations and city governments across our country. Together we are working to call on our communities whom we expect to serve the public good to actually do such service. We believe that the ﬁnancial risk Augsburg‘s assets might en- counter in choosing to divest of fossil fuels is negligible, cspcctally when compared with the climatic risks that come with “business-as- usual." This belief is grounded in studies including one conducted by the Aperio group demonstrating that when a college endowment withdraws its investments in fos- sil fuel holdings they can expect a difference in returns of around only 0.|%. ' And we know divestment works. There is a rich political tradition of successful campus divestment campaigns speaking out for our national conscience harkening back to the South African apart- heid divestment movement. We've got to get moving and we need your help. If fossil fuels are jeopardizing our planet's health we believe H is ethically unsound for our Augsburg community to proﬁt oﬂ'companies with business plans to wreck the planet. ('otnc jom the movement beginning nexl Monday. To celebrate linth Day. the campus has a broad series of events including a chapel talk, local foods lunch. educational tar bling. and a bike ride to the (lean Energy rally at the (‘apitol \Nc look forward to continuing to advance this crucial conversur tum across our campus l'or more information log on to http r ac1350.urgisign uugsburg-cullugc and wwwgoftissilfrceorg smqouai qitzw ()Id math teachers never die they usl :— i.) become matronaj; < ls have a point: Monomer) WHY MY GEOMETRY ,3 cuss Was ALWAYS TIRED. ; BUT THEN I FIGURED our THEY WERE ALL OUT 9? SHAPE. Only the squares are doing well in geametrji (lass. II .3 their area 3' Teachers who take class attendance Math puns are the 5 first sine of madness. “'1 01d #o
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 19, 2013, Page 06
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: A&E Friday, April l9, 2013 Page 6 Nick's Picks: "Cabaret" pulls out all the stops in musical production Nick Pell, Staff Writer \lnsi tollege-prottuced musical piotltitiions are either hit or miss, Iht itt‘e\IL'\\ of "('abnret.” l‘m pioinl to say. succeeds in multiple areas and only stumbles to a...
Show moreA&E Friday, April l9, 2013 Page 6 Nick's Picks: "Cabaret" pulls out all the stops in musical production Nick Pell, Staff Writer \lnsi tollege-prottuced musical piotltitiions are either hit or miss, Iht itt‘e\IL'\\ of "('abnret.” l‘m pioinl to say. succeeds in multiple areas and only stumbles to a fen small places. making this a shit“ \\ell north the ttmcot any' member ot the \tigshiirg community this \\eekcinl Directed h\ Halt) l,itgcii."('ah- ttlk'lulttl'sLNltllhjk' in I‘HI in Berlin. t ieiniain \iheti the \a/is \\ ere inst lit-ginning to licetntte ait nillticnee iii the national goternment. lhe slitt \ iet olt es inattin aionndt lill I\L’tttt( i.t\iiei.an \tllct‘tL‘:ltl\\t'l|L‘l nlio mines to (iei'many looking lot inspiiatton for his iiotel (Jn his tiaiii to ltei’lin. ( llll meets l inst l nt|\\ig t\llehae| \\ese|\ l. .i liteh (tetman man \\Iio llClP\ t Iitt lind lodging fot lits stay in the tll\ Dining a part\ one night at the Kit Kait luh. t‘lift'meets Sally l\laii;i l assegatdl \\ith \\hom he e\enltially tall\ in line ttn a stnallei plotline. the tttltllr cine sees the ielationship \\ith liatileni Schneider [Brianna Ul- soiirt‘ai’i‘i. \\ ho is tlte oniier of (‘lill ‘s lodgings. and Herr Schultz ( \iidi‘en .lames). a Jenish man nho onus a fruit shop The play did :i nice lob bonnemg bctneen these too plotlines and intermitt- gling them as tieeessaty' lit ieiiiis ofsniiply stlty iig and acting. most ofthe east performed \eiy \\ ell \\‘hile sortie ofthe sing- itig \\ as ottlpneh at times. the mar Jorin of the production sounded fantastic, Each actor brought emotion and compleuty to their roles and allowed the shon to be seen in the correct fashion. They were all belieyahle and allowed the audience to become lost in the norltl ofthe “('abaret " ()ne character ytorth mentioning is the l meee. o ho is portrayed by ,ltistm( aroii The chee narrated the shoo and kept it quite ltyely ('tiron had to don multiple types ofelothing \\ hile staying in a wry tnteiesting character. \\hieh he pulled offin a spectacular fashion lfthe audience is going to rememi herany one thing from the shon. it \\ttllltl likely he ( aron's portrayal ofthe l meee Before the shots e\ cn starts. tlte actors are interacting \\ ith the au- dience \lultiple tables are set up around the stage for the audience to sit at ifthey choose, About [5 minutes before the shit“ starts. Kit Kat tiirls. looking \er attractne. go ottt and mingle \\ ith the people at the tables. portray mg their char, aeters and how they might act at the clttb This \\as‘ both a fiintiy and cle\er move for the show because it made the audience feel more like a part of the atmosphere of “('abaret." The fact that the ensemble pulled otfa shon like this on such a small stage is amazing and says loads about the crew Run by a plethotti of indniduals‘. the crew \\ as fantastic I‘he set for the shoo \\as designed in siich a only that it “orde and made sense for the entire performance. in interior and exterior scenes. The sound was on par. \\ith \ery fen hiccups. and the light operators used their effects in a manner that added more emotion to a scene A‘II in all. the show would not ha\e been nearly as good \\ itltout these effects in place. The pit orchestra “as astound- ing for hon long they had to re- hearse. Led by Sonia Thompson on piano. the pit \\ns made up on only tite indn iduals. \\hich is the smallest pit orchestra l'te seen. Dan Dotting \\as the only brass play er on trumpet. follo“ ed by Dakota Fuller on guitar. August Baitgei‘t on electric b ss‘ and Sara llorishny‘k on drums. For such a small pit. they produced a great sound. Dotting often led \\ith the melody' and the remainder of the pit follow ed. The impressiye qual- ity ofthe pit helped the production soar "Cabaret" succeeds on multiple let els, The actors are great and shon their characters in the best possible fashion. The ere“ deliv ers etTeets that transform the shon into something memorable. The pit orchestra produces great qual— ity' music that allows the show to shine, All of these parts combine to produce a show that should not be missed by anyone at Augsburg. You'll laugh. y'ou‘ll cry, but you will \\alk out ofthe show feeling glad that you sa“ it. hasecku (‘til i tor- t int-a- A’Illh‘ it 17 1| ta 2-: A'YPM nut u 2i [tr nut was. amt It'swtr s: ‘1": Pride Week provides a week of events and information For all Thomas Spargo, Staff Writer \s the seltool yeai comes to a close. \tigsl‘uig students ha\e be tt‘elebtalnigl tilt 1 0| \ I‘ride \\eek \\ith J seites ofex this On \lotttl.t\_ \\‘neet and \‘ttatgltt in t tt|l\ itjst l.\tl\l \iigsliuig lttr H | t‘tl \ sen tees held a l a\ettdet L} tl‘oso \tlio hate giteii nine to the tines: t'i‘lt‘tlttttttt\ lltel eho‘s \ on o“ n Jeni“ l‘itt- tltct \tas .tnatd the tsateu \enge \\‘holaisitip tot hei \\otk 't‘ the eot‘titinttih lsethn litiike»\'o\tli. \loll\ l‘ia. art, It; \t.iit:'ie.'. [trad- le\ _\t \tibttt..intl,leotiitet lhomt‘A \tt't \tcte giieit l tilt 1 Q1 \ Student leatietshti‘ \\\at‘ds littally. \bel tsi‘oehe'i. tacitlty 'ttember, \\as gzxeri the \ttgsbat’g l‘ttde \\\_\tl t‘i‘. laesday, the school ; ’ ti \\ith "l‘tonotiii PM to .ttease .maietiess to use proper Ior gender queer pcook‘ v . \ nation itt order to tecogntxe /trs lirselt and many more \long \\ith pronoun day. Qs‘L hosted the '\tt|\\|tll \uesburg DraLy \‘hoo l he night featured both ant- .itetn \tigsburg student drag king and queens. along \\ith lsme's l[.t\ eling tiender \‘hou and Tell a professional drag company the night \\ as thrilling \\ith its _ and lip synehr mg music l‘ertorttiers ettg _ the eiood b\ play tug \\ ith certain audience~ members and going them a night they it ill tieter fotge Hassaii \Jltlu‘lL a sophomore. \\ on the \mateiir Dr. _ sitt\\\ based on audience applause Before the night ended. tza tioldtine. the current Q‘L \ tee l‘restdent of Finance. aiit‘ouiteed iie\t yearK e\ee . \: board Tre \lartine: and \. be returni- Duina llerrt Ufl’tttdtts‘i .lt‘d Beth 0’so'i. \ P performers sit getl Ck\’?ri‘\idclii> .i ‘ : “as ..ected \ P Joined \ttttnesotan's L nited in lobby I‘ll} in order to urge \lin- nesota Legislatures to pass bills in the House and Senate to legalize mam \\K‘ {or same se\ couples er the rally. -\ burg Ltlr BTQl \ sen tees held a t'adent-' *d \l'\ ""r‘.it.' to further educate ally for friends. family and social VlUsIlCC Finally. today. students \\ill be mute for Day ofiilence in etfon it» create safer schools for all. regard- less of gender e\pression. gender :dentiry or sewal orientation Optr mg to stay silent during the day \\lll show hon being silent about \\ ho you are can hate 3 negatiye impact on your life. Vlany‘ l.(iBT youth hate to be silent in who they are because they are afraid to tifthe consequences of expressing who they really are. Join students Friday from It) am to 3 pm. in the Quad and for the rest of the day in order to help end the silence that youth and adults must endure et ery day Stu- dents can get slips in ('hristiansen to gi\e to their professor to CK- plaining their silence during class Pride \\eek has been successful and \Hll continue again next year at Augsburg. and \t i|| also continue in the spirit and the oierall attitude of the campus toitards queer stu- dents. taculty and statT. "A lth of people learned new things like that there are ditferent pronouns people Lise,“ said Pia (joldtine. OSL VP of Finance. "I think Pride Week has been really beneﬁcial and has helped bring awareness around the LGBTOH community here at Augsburg."
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 19, 2013, Page 07
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: A&E Friday, April 19, 2013 Page 7 Monks and heretics in medieval Scotland i, PhiLAdomg. Cpﬂiyauior Imagine there really was such a thing as time travel. Where would you go‘.’ From December 28. 2013 to January 9. 2014. history professor Phil Adamo Wlll olTer students a taste of time travel. to...
Show moreA&E Friday, April 19, 2013 Page 7 Monks and heretics in medieval Scotland i, PhiLAdomg. Cpﬂiyauior Imagine there really was such a thing as time travel. Where would you go‘.’ From December 28. 2013 to January 9. 2014. history professor Phil Adamo Wlll olTer students a taste of time travel. to experience what it must have been like to live in a medieval monastery. Built in the year 1230. the Abbey of Pluscarden in remote ntirthem Scotland is home to some 30 monks who pray and chant ev- ery day, in Latin, by candlelight. rohed and hooded. just as monks in the Middle Ages did. Students on this study abroad course will get to experience monastic life by participating in the work and ritual of the community. studying church history in a setting where it was lived. The course. “Monks and Her- etics." also examines an interesting moment in church history, using Umberto Eco's novel, The Name of the Rose. as its main text. 0n the surface, the novel is a murder mystery at in a monastery. But beneath the surface. it stniggles with deep questions of religion. spirituality. philosophy. rhetoric. and the nature oftexts. Since the action of the novel takes place over seven days in a monastery, the plan is to live wtth the monks of Pluscarden for seven days. Then. aﬁer retuming to Augsburg. over the course of seven meetings during the regular semester. we will attempt to un- pack the novel's many mysteries. This course will appeal to stu- dents with majors in English. History. Honors, Medieval Stud- ies. Philosophy, Religion. and Communication Studies. and to any student who likes to read and think about big ideas. To check out the monastery where we‘ll be staying. go to: http://www.p1us- cardenabbey.org/ There are three possibilities to register for this course. 1) Take HIS 195. Monks and Heretics. This fulﬁlls the Augsburg Experience. the LAF iit Humani- ties. and major requirements in History ofMedieval studies. 2) Take REL 205, Monks and Heretics. This is a little more work (one extra. short paper). It fulﬁlls the Augsburg Experience a Religion elective. and counts in lieu of RELZOO. 3) Take HIS 440. Monks and Heretics. This is a lot more work (both reading and writing). It fulﬁlls the Augsburg Experience. major requirements in History or Medieval Studies. the Honors residency requirement and counts in lieu ofHONZOO (RELIOtl), BONUS: After a \\ eek of |i\ mg with monks. we will head to the city ot‘Edinburgh for three day s. to see how Scotland‘s medieval past meets its modem—day present We will vtsit Doune Castle 7 where Monty Python and the Holy Grail was ﬁlmed. possibly with former Python and medieval historian Terry Jonesl Submit a complete application by June 17 and be entered in a drawing to win $500 oil~ the cost of your trip. For more info. write to adamotu augshurgedu. Senior the mushy ed Brianna Olson-Corr, A&E Editor I hate saying goodbye. I think of how I put off watching the ﬁnale episode of 30 Rock for as long as possible just so I could keep it alne in my head, 1 think of all of the emotional goodbyes in the nioyies. from the fun “So Long. Fare“ ell" in “The Sound of Muse." lo Dorothy ‘5 “But I think I'll miss you most of all!“ to the Scarecrow. Vi hich ney er fails to put tears in my eyes, My goodbye to the paper w ill not be as difﬁcult as these, yet my goodbye to the paper is tied to my' goodbye to college. and that is “Wizard of 01" leiel sad. Augsburg has been such a wonderful place to explore, grow. get lost and ﬁnd myself. 1 always wanted to write for the Echo. 1 got my' wish: not only did I enjoy be— ing an occasional contributor my sophomore and junior year, but I became editor of my fay onte soc- Ins and entertainment. my satiat- year. lhavegonentohtow somariy‘ goodbye: ition wonderful and talented writers in my time with the Echo There are few of us. but we few care a lot about the Echo and its future I urge any w'nter who thinks they might make any kind of career tn wriung to write for the new spaper For one thing. you'll be published you can show an agent. a protEssor. a colleague. a graduate school or your grandmother your words in print In addition to being a re- sume builder. the Echo functions as a w ay to communicate with the Augsburg communm you can make a dillcrertcc | litiic lound .i sense otpridtn too. in contributing to a publication llidl [ um 54) proud oloy crull lhr \ltltlcltls ulto \mik for the lcho Lllt‘ tnprntllt’lt .intl I am so happy to hate been one or them Hopefully lllls \\|ll ltirl he the lust article I \\1ll c\er \iritc lplan on \\|’1l111‘:'ltrl’c\tr.t:\v:111llllat\c to start a blog about my 1C\|c\'\\ul little ll‘lcdlL‘YUIlllpLAlllL“: throughout Minneapolis and Stunt 1‘qu r\\ w e come to the thmt‘ttl ll1l\}L‘drl want to remind Auggic» to really reyel in your time here l'tUU) e\ ery meal in the Lommons with your llwnd). cyery presentation you gt\ 1: to your peers. eycry cram >C>§1un. ei er_\ desperate sprint to class. e\ery lriendly encounter while passing through [hr quad Time spent as a student is the best use at time Goodbye. Echo Thank you tor all the wonderful memories in and out ofprint A-List Theater April Showers Bring Bitch Flow ct's April 20. 7:30 pm The Varstly' Theater 310 with student ll) or in drug This Side of Ptll'zltllSL‘ Until May It). 8 p_itt. History Thcutrc ' '7 1:]? 4J- Music/Dance/Othcr Emily Johnson/Catalyst: Niicugni (Listen) April 21. 7 pm. O‘Shaughncssy Auditorium $30 Jim James April 21, 7:30 pm. First Avenue $26 Wits: Tig Notaro April 19. 8 pm. Fitzgerald Theater $30 Biblio Bash 2013: A Literary Carnival tind Benclit April 20. 7-11 pm. (irain Belt Brcwci‘y Bottling llousc S30 ll’ANKJ Invasion: Minneapolis April 1‘). 7»‘) pin. lloncy $15 Free l)/inc: Victory Daily from April 20 until May 31 Public l-unutionury The Museum at Non Participation- The New Deal Fret: on Thursdays from April Ix until July 14 Walker Art Center
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 19, 2013, Page 08
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: The Back Page Friday, April 19, 2013 Page 8 Dear Miss Stery Ma'a‘m : Dear Miss Stcry Ma’am. I am a virgin. This largely stems from my faith base but lately. I have fallen out of touch with my faith practice. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and he has never pressured me to...
Show moreThe Back Page Friday, April 19, 2013 Page 8 Dear Miss Stery Ma'a‘m : Dear Miss Stcry Ma’am. I am a virgin. This largely stems from my faith base but lately. I have fallen out of touch with my faith practice. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and he has never pressured me to have sex but now I Feel pressure from myself. [want to take our relationship to the next level and I feel that‘s the only way to do it, But I‘m afraid I will regret it, Sincerely. A Virgin [)car A Virgin. This is a big dccision and a very personal one. I would urge you to vvay your options very carefully. You mention a falling out with your faith. That can he a problem for a lot of people and I would urge you not to give up on that aspect of your life. especially il‘this has meant so much to you before. However. faith is not my specialty so on to the relationship advice. If taking your relationship to a “new level“ is something you seek. there are other ways besides sex. Now I don‘t know what you and yotir boyfriend have done in your relationship but saying “I love you" seems small but can be a very powerful thing. Take a weekend vacation and spend time getting to knovv each other more intimately. (Intimacy doesn't always have to incan sex). Share secrets. stories. hopes. fears. dreams. I would urge you to think of other ways to deepen your relationship besides sex. However, in the end this is YOUR decision. Only YOU can decide what is right for you and your body. Don‘t make any brash decisions. lay out the pros and cons and make a decision from there. I‘m sure you'll ﬁnd the right answer. Wishing you luck! i\ ss Stery Ma'nni So, you’re into movies SAPPY. REMINISCENT ALERT: The things you are about to read will be nostalgic and sappy. and if the paper cotild be tear stained, it would be. So if you don‘t like that kinda thing, then move along. Where should I begin? I sup- pose the beginning. Ijoined the Augsburg Echo during my ﬁrst year at Augsburg. I showed up to a lively meeting ofintimidat- ing seniors and asked to write a book review column. Little did I know that the Echo would have such an impact on my time here at Augsburg. Many ot‘my memories come from Echo editors who have long since moved on. First. let me thank Betsy Collins. Without Betsy's positive i'e- int‘orccment. laughs. and long Saturday morning book talks. I would have never come to the Echo and found one of my passions: writing. Second. let me thank Dave Madsen. Dave is not only a smoking hottie but an amazing writer who seemed to bring the Echo olﬁce alive Across tieoi'giu wilderness thriller o. “I ost in 'I'i'nnslntion" male lead 0 "The Big It) Scllei's‘tloctor ll. “ V thc.\lbino“ h Polanski non‘ lilin I7 Hitchcock‘s ornithological piece is“. .»\ "Clockwork" color I". "Kingot Down I Iiihun Ila“ kc and Julie Delpy romance “oody .»\|lcn‘s "Midnight" i J city I .lulcs'companion 5. Anderson pm ate school comcd) Sokurm ’s single-shot ﬁlm 8 Oscars favorite 3013 ﬁlm [2. I-ilm based on Palahniuk nov cl 1} "Pan’s if l4. 1°22 Dracula adaptation . "Apocalypse Now" director to. ShariFS doctor v. Horoscopes Aries March Zl—April 19 In an ill-fated attempt to ﬁnd [m c. you will ﬁnd his \\ itc. Taurus April 20—May 20 Just go tweet about it. Gemini May 21-Jum: 20 Stop trying to make “no hair. don‘t cans" happen. Cancer June 21-July 22 It‘ only lying down and giv ing up were an option. Leo July 23-Aug. 22 Try to be more friendly. less dark alley scary. \‘i 0 Aug. 23—Sept. 22 Nothing I say will help. with hipster jokes. song and the infamous Box Head dance. These two nurtured me as a writer and a friend and some of my fondest college memories were with them. Third, let me thank Becca Andersen. Becca. our dedicated editor~in-cliief, has given me the journalistic freedom that has allowed me to cover con- troversial news and to make up controversial news in my favorite issue ever. the joke / issue. Fourth, let me thank the countless writers and editors who make Friday mornings in the Echo oﬂ‘icc fun. Laughing. joking and whispering hearsay with you has been a constant joy in my week. Lastly. let me thank the read- ers. For those of you who talked badly about my articles. thanks for the press! For those of you who read my articles re- peatedly and laughed with me, truly and deeply. thank you. My time at the Echo has been an incredible experience. It has allowed me to grow as a writer, a researcher and as a human being. I have made in- credible memories with friends that I will remember long after graduation. I can truly say that the Echo has been one of the most rewarding aspects ofmy time here at Augsburg. And for those of you still reading. if anything I said above interests you 7 join the Echo. Keep this amazing Augsburg tradition alive and well by adding your expertise to the staff. And last but not least. keep questioning. keep writing. keep reading. Libra Sept. 23-Oct. 22 Yup. .. still April. still snow. Getting less and less status worthy. Scorpio Oct. 23-Nov‘. 21 Yes. it's Case Day. Now drink your beers and puke like every good bro should. Sagittarius Nov. 22-Dec. 21 Just eat your feelings. Capricorn Dec. 22-Jan. 19 Nice try, sucker! Aquarius Jan. 20-Feb. 18 Of course you make awk— ward eye contact when you stare at someone for 3 hours. Pisces Feb. l9-March 20 Please keep blabbering on and I will keep not listening.
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 2, 2010
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection

Title: Augsburg Echo April 2, 2010, Page 01
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Augsburg The Drake Hotel Woman ahead of her time Page, 3 - ‘ . _ Page, 7 The College’s Student-Produced Newspaper Friday, April 2, 2010 Minneapples, Minnesota Volume CXVI, Issue 18 The Echo would like to remind all readers that this is the annual joke issue. Therefore, the stories and quotes...
Show moreAugsburg The Drake Hotel Woman ahead of her time Page, 3 - ‘ . _ Page, 7 The College’s Student-Produced Newspaper Friday, April 2, 2010 Minneapples, Minnesota Volume CXVI, Issue 18 The Echo would like to remind all readers that this is the annual joke issue. Therefore, the stories and quotes within this paper are not real and should not be taken as the real opinion of those who are cited. Breaking news: Lady Gaga is a dude BRIANNA OLSON-CARR Contributor Yes, ladies and gents, it’s the truth you are reading. ~ \Lady Gaga, or, Stefani Joanne Angelina Gerrnanott, the “woman” who has been pro— viding your parties with synth dance beats and suggestive lyrics about folks who take pictures, wholesome card games, and a relationship gone bad. . .is a man. There have been copious amounts of in-depth research concerning Lady Gaga’s true sex, including two very resource- ful clubbers in their mid-twenties, an elderly garbage man and a bunch of teenage bloggers. This journey began when Lady Gaga ﬁrst became big in August of 2008. One of her for- mer peers from New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts, Rich Kidd, said, “Yeah, she’s always been, you know...super weird. But she found a way to make money being super weird, so...l guess that’s the dream.” Super weird, indeed. There is evidence of her “super weirdness” in high school at Con- vent for the Sacred Heart, a Roman Catholic school. No wonder she was so weird, in such a repressive environment. An interview with Paris Hilton, one of Gaga’s former classmates at Sacred Heart, revealed much we didn’t know about the pop star. “She was like, you know, freaky, but like, in a hot way,“ Hilton said. “Like, she’d come to school with yellow and black lipstick and I’d be like, ‘Uhh. ..Stef, that’s not hot. You look like a bumble bee landed on your lips!‘ But now she, you know, rocks it. And that’s hot.” Alter getting an extremely thorough back- ground with those two sources, 1 sought to know more about the singer/songwriter. After being turned down for an interview by Lady Gaga’s parents numerous times, I decided for a more direct approach: the Lady herself. Unfortunately pop idols tend to have lots of large men around to protect them: a species called “body guards." Lady Gaga’s particular following includes seven large men with names like Doc, Grumpy, Bashful and Sneezy. I came to a club called The Hundred Acre Wood to talk to her, but I kept getting “bounced” away from the pop star. As i lost hope and was about to leave the club, I saw two ladies slip out from the pro- tection of the seven guards. They introduced themselves to me as Drizzle and Pop. i asked them how they knew Gaga. Drizzle claimed to have known her for a couple of hours. “Oh maaa goodness, she’s like, the best, you know? Like, ahhhh I can’t believe I’m here! She spoke to me and we totally hit it off." Pop was a little more intoxicated than her companion Drizzle, and I asked her the big question: Is Lady Gaga actually a man? “Well, yeah! She‘s got dude stufﬂ” After my breakthrough in investigative reporting at The Hundred Acre Wood. I decided to get more evidence. i went to a spot most frequented by Lady Gaga- her house. It was 5:00 AM and i saw a garbage man coming out of one of her many driveways glittering with red rubies. ‘He seemed to be carrying a golden basket. which he informed me is what the big stars use to toss out their rubbish. “Yeah, I’ve seen her a couple times. and you can really know a lot from a person‘sjunk.“ he said. " I‘d say with Miss Gaga...probabiy a 50 percent chance she’s a man. Now that’s just an estimate.“ This breakthrough was the biggest yet. In Lady Gaga‘s garbage I found lots of ripped men’s clothing with letters that were signed by a man named Speedy. Speedy was a man Lady Gaga was rumored to date and they could have been his clothes she threw out. Or maybe she‘s actually a man and he found out and now they’ve broken up! From the evidence, the latter is more convincing. Aﬁer consulting youth celebrity bloggers who all claim Lady Gaga is a man, the case has been solved. Perhaps you should call her “Sir Gaga,“ now. Zombie Rights Association demands BRAINS! DAVE MADSEN News Editor Since the spread of the highly- infectious zombie disease known as “Solanum” in the fall of 2009, the Minneapolis community has been forced to embrace the undead community. While the majority of the city’s initial response was one of disgust, many progressive institu- tions are now aiming to give the walking dead equal opportunities for education and employment. Last Wednesday, during an ex- ecutive board meeting, President Pribbenow announced his plan to integrate the living dead commu- nity into Augsburg College. “For too long have we been ignorant to the needs of our zombi- ﬁed brothers and sisters,” Pribbe- now said. “As an urban institution that purports a campus of inten- tional diversity, we must be more sensitive to serve zombiekind.” Michael Grewe, the recently- infected Staff Director of the Zombie Rights Association (ZRA) and Assistant Director of Campus Activities and Orientation (CAO), commented on the fact that Augs— burg is simply not equipped to handle the living dead commu- nity. Grewe stated that, in order for the campus to function as “successfully sensitive,” faculty and staff must provide adequate support systems for the zombie community. To make incoming ﬁrst-year zombies feel more welcome, Grewe proposed the construction of Romero Hall, an isolated dor- mitory that strongly resembles a haunted mansion. Along with the separate housing facility, Grewe also suggested a separate meal plan for infected students. Danny Nguyen, the operations man- ager for Dining Services, opposed Grewe’s proposition as he refused to install a “Brain Bar” next to the cafeteria’s deli station. Grewe then proceeded to devour President Pribbenow’s right forearm. In addition to refining the school’s mission into a less life- centric statement, many academic departments are being forced to adapt a more zombie-friendly cur- riculum. For example, the biology department will now place less of an emphasis on sustainable eco- systems and devote more attention to decomposing human anatomy. “It’s an exciting time for us,” chair of the biology department Dale C. Pederson said. “We can finally [dissect] a live human specimen without being concemed with ethics." During the spring semester of the 2010-20]! academic year. the Psychology department will offer a class titled, “Aim for the head: Understanding the Undead Brain.” Lisa Jack. the professor of PSY 295, explained that the course will be a “comprehensive survey of zombie thought.” in ad- dition to observing zombiekind’s compulsion to inhabit shopping malls, students in the course will attempt to examine a zombiekind’s implications in the realm of Pav- lovian conditioning. Working closely with the ZRA, the Social Work department is offering many opportunities for students to engage the undead community. While retaining the department’s philosophy of work- ing directly with clients. the cur- riculum must now incorporate an individual’s life status in addition to his/her race, class. gender, cul— ture, sexual orientation, disability and age group. “i think the traditional ap— proach of engaging the living dead community is incredibly ig- norant,“ Professor Annette Gerten said. “The zombie community should be welcomed with open arms, not sawed-off shotguns.“ Associate Professor and Chair of Art Department Robert Tom was thrilled when he heard that Augsburg was becoming zombie friendly. Since the 2009‘s city- wide pandemic. zombie artists in the Cedar-Riverside area have been experimenting in works resembling Jackson Pollock and other Abstract expressionists. “With the excess plasma ZOMBIE continues page 2 > Upcoming Augsburg 7| Events HACKY SACK CLUB Friday, February 31 Initation Match That's right friends, sprin is here! Join us as we get the hec ' out of the student lounge and migrate to the beautiful outdoors to have intense, week—long hacky sack tournaments. 12:00 H.771. — 12:00pm. The anl ACR Saturday, April 3 Anti-Immigration Forum Join us to have an open— minded discussion on issues of undocumented zombies and how Augsburg is handing them seats that should be given to hving, U.S. citizens. 3:00 .01. - 4:00pm. Rt exourre Center CCHP Monday, April 5 All-inclusive Stress Relief CCHP recognized the need for students. zombies. Rs, faculty, staff, and other variables to ﬁnd a place to talk about their respective, highly precise role on campus. Join for a session of massage chair discussions. 3:00 .In. — 4:00pm. Rs sourt‘e Center ECHO
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 2, 2010, Page 02
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Page 2 NEWS Dozens of conservative students detained and Minneapolis, Minnesota :9 .-.« . T. .‘> ~ a.
Show morePage 2 NEWS Dozens of conservative students detained and Minneapolis, Minnesota :9 .-.« . T. .‘> ~ a. < - x m forced to wear “R” patches TED CONOVER Copy-Editor For a handful ofRepublican students at Augsburg, it was their worst paranoid night- mare come true. On Monday morning, De— partment of Public Safety oﬁ‘icers escorted about 15 students, including members of the Augsburg College Republicans, from their classes. The students were blindfolded, thrown into a nondescript black van and driven out into the country. “It was horrible,” said chair ofAugs- burg College Republicans Eric Franzen about his time in the van. “They made us listen to Barack Obama's Audacity ofHope book on tape and live U2 albums the whole time. I swear to God ifI here ‘Beautiful Day’ one more time I’m going to join the Oath Keepers and attack Ireland. I [explicative deleted] hate Bono!” According to the students aboard the bus. along with the unbearable music and audiotape selection, students were berated by several bleeding-heart liberal professors who volunteered to torture the students for their own sick, sadistic enjoyment. “I shouted at them that because of their conservative views, our society was in a death-rattle,” said one Robert Cowgill, professor of ﬁlm studies and English. “It was really quite enjoyable to watch them squirm.” After a few hours of confusion and depraved shouts of how the liberal media would never report their kidnapping, the students were taken into an empty ﬁeld, forcibly lined up and addressed by College President Paul Pribbenow. “I told them that they were less than dirt; that they weren’t worth the gas it took to drive them out there,” said a chipper Pribbenow. “These people are lucky that Augsburg gives them a place in a society that would not tolerate their low-bred behav- ior.“ Fixing his bow tie, he added, “We’re such a compassionate institution.” Aﬁer Pribbenow’s ﬁery rant, red “Rs” were stitched to the shirts ofeach conserva- tive student, supposedly so other students and faculty know who the republicans are on campus. According to Pribbenow there will be a whole set of new policies to deal with “the Rs,” as Pribbenow called them. Students with an “R” will have assigned seating on the ACTC bus, in the back. Students with an “R” will not be allowed to look professors in the eye or ask questions in any of their classes. In an afterthought, Religion profes- sor Phil Quanbeck suggested that each “R” write an essay on vocation, Karl Marx, and non-proﬁts. “Let’s see them pull themselves up by their own bootstraps now,” said Stu-Gov President Sam Smith, who watched the ritu- alized marginalization of the conservative students with relish. Smith was also seen holding a jar under the hysterical Ashely Abbate’s face, collecting her tears so he could drink them later. “These are going to taste like free market capitalism and pink lemonade,” said Smith. Star Wars Studies to be offered nex fall DAVE MADSEN News Editor As a way to expand and re- shape Augsburg’s course catalog, Dean Barbara Farley recently announced the instillation of Star Wars Studies as a new program for the 20l0-2011 academic year. In accordance with the college’s dedication to provide students with a sense of vocation, incom- ing ﬁrst—years will be required to participate in “Using the Force I” and “Using the Force II” in addi- tion to their “AugSem,” “Search for Meaning,” and “Engaging Minneapolis” credits. “To my knowledge, the core Curriculum will virtually stay the same,” Farley said. “I simply be- lieve in a rich and varied education that allows students the opportu— nity to explore their intellectual, professional, and personal lives. And if that education must include Tauntauns and TIE Fighters to boost enrollment, so be it.” The ﬁrst—of—its-kind program Editors-in-Chief Molly Ebling Becki lverson A811“. Editor Malena ’lltoson Features Editor Molly Dunne News Editor Dave M adsen ()pinions/Editorials Editor Roger Huelsnirz Sports liditor Ed Shebwcn E-mail — echo@augsburg.cdu l’hone — (612) 330-1102 ofthe students. subject to re\ ision. appropriate. Augsburg College Echo Fall 2009 Staff 731 21$t Avenue S, CB 148 Minneapolis. Minnesota 55454 The Augsburg Echo is published each Friday — except during vacation periods and holidays 7 by the students ofAugsburg College. Opinions expressed in the Echo are those ofthe authors and do not necessarily reﬂect those ofthe supporting staff. administration, faculty. alumni/ac or the remainder The Echo does not nCCCSSﬂl’ll)’ promote the products or services it advenises. .-\d\ eniseinents can be placed in the Echo by contacting the advertising manager. Submissions are “electric and can be sent to echo(q)augsburg.edu. All submis- sions should be betneen 500-700 “ords and accompanied by the writer's name and contact intonnrttion. All submissions become the property ofthe Echo and are The Echo reserves the right to edit submitted material because of space limita- tions. repetitive subject matter. libelous content or any other reason the editors deem Printed by Print Group Mid“ est on recycled paper. layout Editors Sergio Monterrubio Molly Ehling Managino Editor Becki Iverson Copy Editor Ted Conover MM Kendra Chrisriansen Advertising Manager Sarah Gillund Facul Adviser Boyd Koebler Tips — echotips@gmail.com Fax — (612) 330—1666 plans to introduce students to the diverse universe of the Star Wars saga and to aid students in exploring the disciplinary and interdisciplinary skills required for its intense study. According to the department chairs, the training ofa Jedi closely resembles that of a liberal arts education. Star Wars Studies majors will therefore not only be rigorously trained in the ways of the force, but majors will also ﬁnd themselves as well- rounded, intellectual individuals versed in skills applicable to our own universe as well. Because the program places an emphasis on the psychic ma- nipulation of human thought and psychical matter, split-second de- cision making, and various forms of combat, graduates of Star Wars Studies will be prepared with an intimate understanding of the professional world. Since the announcement, the enrollment center has been bombarded by applications for next fall. Already, academic de— partments have been transforming their curriculum in order to gain funding. The philosophy department was quick to submit their idea for “PHI 299: Philosophy of Grand Master Yoda”, a course almost exclusively dedicated to the leg- endary wisdom of the wise, green Jedi. The course will primarily fo- cus on Yoda’s philosophies during his time in the Jedi High Council through his exile on the Dagobah system. Topics in PHI 299 will include the Do or Do Not theory of existentialism as well as an intense study of fear leading to the Dark Side. Professor Aoki ofthe political science department recently sub- mitted his proposal for a course titled. “Topics in Intergalactic Politics.“ According to Aoki, there is still much to be examined in the New Imperial Order‘s Hu- manocentric authoritarian empire consisting ofa devolved constitu- tional monarchy. The course will examine the fall of Chancellor Valorum's democratic Galactic Republic and the emergence of Emperor Palpatine as ruler of the galaxy. Also to be examined is the rise of Bail Organa and Mon Motha’s Rebel Alliance and their overthrow of Palpatine’s oppres- sive regime. “Honestly, I’m just excited to ﬁnally discuss Grand Moﬁ’Tarkin without getting made fun of,” Aoki said. Obviously, the physics depart- ment was thrilled when they heard the news that the college planned to expand on its ﬁnancially-limited astronomy and natural science programs. In addition to Physics courses dedicated to the construc- tion of functional lightsabers and Imperial blaster riﬂes, Star Wars Studies majors will be required to take astronomy classes devoted to the study of planetary systems in the galaxy’s Outer Rim, such as Endor and Bespin. The biology department will also be teaming up with the Star , Wars Studies department to give students a comprehensive under- standing ofthe ﬂora and fauna in selected Star Wars ecosystems. “We could spend an entire semester on Tatooine alone,” Professor William Capman said. “Did you know that the sarlacc is actually a semi-sentient arthropod that has the ability to assimilate its prey’s thoughts and memories during its thousand-year digestion process?” Augsburg basketball coach Aaron Griess then gave Capman a wedgie and shouted, “Nerd!” Most faculty members have j responded without objection to this , new area of study. One exception is that of Professor Bob Cowgill who recently announced his resig- nation. When asked why, Cowgill replied, “You’re kidding, right?” 4 ZOMBIES from page 1 brought in by these undead stu- dents, our ﬁnancial need for red paint has dramatically de- creased,” Tom said. Some students are hesitant to the school’s eagerness to cater to the living dead community, though. Two weeks ago, a group of students led by junior Colin Stanhill armed themselves with various blunt objects, blocked the stairs, and disengaged the eleva- tors leading to Mortenson Hall’s 13th ﬂoor. While Stanhill refused to comment as he was barricading his stronghold, Ashley Abbate, a member of the renegade group of student objectors, said, “Why are they entitled to an education? It’s not as ifthey can really think. Besides, they’re really bitey.” On February 2, Sam Smith, day student body President, was bitten by Vice President Ben Krouse-Gagne while in a heated debated over zombie rights. Since their infections, the two students have coordinated the ZRA but have only successfully coordi— nated two student meetings as many of the group’s supporters are busy roaming the streets in search of human flesh. Molly Ehling, senior and ally of the ZRA, expressed her frustration: “I like to think that I try to keep an open mind with my zombie peers, but there are only so many ways you can answer a question with BRAINS!” Sophomore sociology major Scott Hemann sympathized with the school’s efforts to create a zombie-friendly campus. “It’s go- ing to be different and of course I’ll be a bit wary at ﬁrst,” he said. “Once I got bitten though, I would probably be okay with everything.” Upon hearing the news that Augsburg plans to better ac- commodate zombiekind, junior zombie Molly Dunne groaned excitedly. Undead since early January, Molly has been subject to many acts of discrimination by the nature of her decomposing skin and mangled appearance. After gnashing her teeth in an apparent expression of happiness, Dunne said, “Nnnnguuuhhh, rrrruuuhhh. BRAINS!"
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 2, 2010, Page 03
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Friday, April 2, 2010 PHIL ADAMO Contributor This essay is about a shared experi- ence at a men s urinal. It is NOT what you might be thinking. It is about tradition and memory and the camaraderie that only a bit of silliness can secure. In the men is room on the ﬁrst ﬂoor of Memorial Hall, above...
Show moreFriday, April 2, 2010 PHIL ADAMO Contributor This essay is about a shared experi- ence at a men s urinal. It is NOT what you might be thinking. It is about tradition and memory and the camaraderie that only a bit of silliness can secure. In the men is room on the ﬁrst ﬂoor of Memorial Hall, above the urinal, there used to hang one of those plastic containers, into which one puts a deodorizing bar. Ever since I came to Augsburg, now almost ten years ago, this plastic container has been there. But it has never held the deodorizing bar for which it was intended. Instead, someone before my time wrote a message, barely visible through the con— tainers tiny air slits, and even then only from a certain angle. 1t read: “The Drake Hotel reminds you to ﬂush. " Perhaps this was meant to be helpful —— or perhaps just gooﬁt But the experience of reading this message over the years be- came a common bond for all the professors who used that singular urinal. So when the little plastic container with the encouraging reminder disappeared earlier this spring, it created a hole in the lives of those who had come to know and expect it. What follows is a series of e—mail cor- respondence on this topic. It is oﬂered in the spirit of the season. I leave you to judge its merits. Palin and Bachmann take The Drake Hotel... SUBJECT: The Drake Hotel “Dear sirs, It is with great regret and sadness that I must inform you that the broken, plastic deodorizer holder in the men’s bathroom on the ﬁrst ﬂoor of Memorial Hall has been sav- agely ripped from its hallowed place above the men’s urinal. One struggles to fathom the (premeditated or spontaneous) thought that caused some lost soul to perpetrate this heinous and vicious act of vandalism. The loss ofthis icon in the men’s room will surely affect all who came to know and ap- preciate its simple yet instructive message. The saddest part of all is that this wisdom will be lost to future generations. In memoriam, on your next visit, we ask that you silently chant the well—known pedagogical mnemonic as you send your precious bodily ﬂuids into the great void: “The Drake Hotel reminds you to ﬂush.” -- Phil Adamo, The Committee for the Preservation of Inexplicable Grafﬁti, LLC, GmBH RE: The Drake Hotel “Reminds you to ﬂush. To take this away from us is to remove the subtle thumb-to-cheek gesture of the Italian merchants in the market place; to take this away from us is to expose the secrets of the skull-and-bones society, to remove the mystery; to take this away from us is, in short, to squash any vestige of mystery and magic and to reduce this place to a col- lection of old buildings full of (mostly) old professors with no secrets. Or, maybe not. Minneapolis, Minnesota I will say, though, that I’ve enjoyed saying at random times to [uninitiated] colleagues, “The Drake Hotel...” and then responding to their silence with a slight sense ofsuperiority. And now that’s gone.” -- Colin Irvine SUBJECT: The Drake Hotel Lives! “This sacrilegious act cannot stand. If, being more or less God-fearing and peace- loving Protestants (Z), we cannot launch a crusade against the cretin who deﬁled our porcelain inner sanctum; we must at least undo the damage and raise again the sign. If for no other reason than to make whatever marginal improvements to the air quality in the ﬁrst ﬂoor of Memorial that we can (do I have a witness, Michael?) It seemed that even aﬁer one day without that friendly re- mainder in place, the odor of unfiushed urine was already beginning to wait through that august corridor -- a sure sign ofthe wisdom of air freshener’s advice.” We must begin work immediately on a campaign to ﬁnd some local smithy or met- alworker (perhaps Josh, our local armorer!) to craft some sturdy reconstruction of said air freshener, engraved with that sacred in- cantation. The thought occurs that perhaps we should induct (i.e., cc) Nate Hallanger (he of the large budget) to serve as patron for this noble project, for I believe he too, might sometimes ﬁnd solace and relief in our sanctuary.” -- Joe Underhill (and now back to that grad- ing I’m supposed to be working on . . .) SUBJECT: The Drake Hotel like a phoe- nix rises from the ashes! Page 3 TOILETS “My dear comrades, I second Joseph’s call to support the resurrection ofthe guid- ance that has for so long--and so mysterious- ly--stood as a beacon in dark times. Even in the heart ofthat dismal swamp. God had provided a refuge and a dwelling place for truth. In the wake ofthis brutal desecration of wisdom, I can assure you that miasmas now ﬂood our “august corridor," overpower- ing the faculties of even the most tempered passers-by. As for the remnants ofcivilization that reside, wearily, in Memorial Hall, one won- ders what a future without the Drake Hotel‘s time-honored insights holds. 1 cannot help but think ofthe words ofthe brave poet who speaks to us from beyond the grave: Turning and turning in the widening gyre The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world. The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and ev— erywhere The ceremony of innocence is drowned; The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity. If we cannot restore this tear in the fabric of our universe, we stand to lose everything." —— Michael Lansing RE: The Drake Hotel I for one shall remember the Drake! -- Jeff Kolnick RE: The Drake Hotel “alas...i’ll forget the drake, but the ﬂush will remain...” Don Gustafson Worlds callide when football meets baseball Pawlenty’s place at commencement PETER MILLER Staﬂ Writer Due to recent negative feed- back by fundamentalist liberals on Augsburg’s campus, the Board of Regents has rescinded their invi- tation to Governor Tim Pawlenty to speak at the 2010 Day Student Graduation ceremony. Instead, after much debate and numerous phone calls, the Board of Regents has secured the dynamic duo: marverick—esque, helicopter riding, moose riﬂe toting, former Governor Sarah Palin and Representative Michele Bachmann. After spending time in Min- neapolis together in early March, Palin and Bachmann responded to local media, “Minnesota is so Pro- American. We love these rural, small town people. We love em’ like steak and ketchup, or steaming hot~dish and Jello” When the Augsburg Board of Regents asked Palin and Bach- mann to speak, they couldn’t resist another opportunity to reach out to the loving, caring people of Min- nesota. “We are strong supporters of education, especially those up- per grades,” Palin commented. “When my children’s children, children’s children grow up, I want them to receive the same educa- tional opportunities and the same kind of public attention that I did in Alaska. We also need toleam to read Good, capital-G, starting with my autobiography, Going Rogue: An American Life. When asked what they would tell Augsburg students at the cer- emony, Bachmann noted, “We will tell them what we tell everyone else: Rogue is right, Obama is a terrorist, 2012 here we come. Watch out, baby. That’s it—ba— bies.” Augsburg College Public Safety has planned to accom- modate extra pyrotechnics for the ceremony, due to the ﬁery nature of the speakers and the possibility of wide-spread spontaneous com- bustion. MIKE GALLAGHER Staﬂ Writer In sports, there are many games within the game. For Augs- burg Baseball, that is taken to the limit and beyond. On a warm spring day in early May 2009, one man had what could simply be called ambition and genius all rolled in to one. “It got stuck,” said pitcher Mark Heise. “The legend was born.” Truly magical words, and one would never have thought that the day that baseball got wedged into that cup would live in infamy. It has done that and so much more, as the game has gone from simple games of catch all the way up to all out 11 on 11 scrimmages. Teams are separated based on position. Pitchers are one team while position players are on an- other. You switch off every other inning in the interest of fairness, hurling the cup-baseball combo like a football, with surprisingly spiraling results. The strategy? Half innings are only so long, so it all comes down to one play each time. The goal? Simple: Complete the pass. “There's so much riding on each play,” said freshman catcher Zach Pavlisik. “The intensity level is that of a BCS bowl game each time out." Sounds like the easiest game in the world, right? All you have to do is run and catch a ball once. Think again, this competition is both physically and mentally tax- ing. “1 don’t know whether to try harder on offense or defense,” said freshman pitcher/shortstop Craig Lynch. “Either way I win!” As you can see with the exu- berant Craig Lynch, emotions are always running high in this game, and have even carried over to off- the-ﬁeld, between inning feelings. “A rivalry has formed,” said Heise. “Despite the obvious advantage the pitchers have in the game, both offensively and defensively.” While Heise‘s comments may not be taken well by the position players, you can’t argue with facts. Statisticians and saberrnatricians at the game had the total count of completions for pitchers at a whopping three to the position players zero, a truly disheartening performance. “It was disappointing,” said freshman catcher Zach Nelson. “Especially for the middle inﬁeld— ers.” As you can see, with there already being dissent within the position players‘ team, they’re facing an uphill battle. There are even some allegations that senior ﬁrst baseman Shea Sajevic quit on his baseball-football team, even going as far as to let an oncoming rusher through the line. Sajevic had no comment when contacted about these allegations. With all the games within the baseball-football game within the baseball-baseball game, there’s a lot going on for Augsburg Baseball players. Sometimes it gets confus- mg. “It’s like a hybrid of backyard dreams and intense non-realism." said Nelson. Right, something like that. No matter if you’re the ﬁrst or last man off the bench for the Augsburg Baseball team, the pressure is on in this ﬁght-to-the-end battle known as baseball- football. And with the advancements within the last year to this game, who’s to say what‘s next on the horizon for this developing sport? Steroids? Instant replay? Let the controversy begin.
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 2, 2010, Page 04
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Page 4 Minneapolis, Minnesota Frida , ' 2, 2010 OPINIONS/ EDITORIALS By request of the Augsburg College administration, no more opinions are allowed to be printed in The Echo. Sincerely, The former Opinions Editor

Title: Augsburg Echo April 2, 2010, Page 05
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Friday, April 2, 2010 Minneapolis, Minnesota Jewish kosher ban lifted: Bring on the bacon ROGER HUELSNI'I‘Z Opinions Editor RYAN TAPIO Contributor JERUSALEM—Ending a strict, six-mil- lennia prohibition of the consumption of cloven-hoofed beasts, the World Rabbini- cal Council announced Tuesday...
Show moreFriday, April 2, 2010 Minneapolis, Minnesota Jewish kosher ban lifted: Bring on the bacon ROGER HUELSNI'I‘Z Opinions Editor RYAN TAPIO Contributor JERUSALEM—Ending a strict, six-mil- lennia prohibition of the consumption of cloven-hoofed beasts, the World Rabbini- cal Council announced Tuesday that Jews worldwide may “dig in to the delicious taste of porky, porky ham.” “The Jewish people have always had the utmost reverence for the laws of God, as handed down from Abraham to his son Isaac, to his son Jacob. However, from time to time, it is necessary to make slight revi- sions and modemizations to these laws,” said council president Rabbi Menachem Saperstein, sucking on a hambone, his white beard soaked with succulent ham drippings. “As no less a Talmudic scholar than Moses Maimonides once wrote, ‘Change is the way of the Lord.” Added Saperstein, “Mmm... this is some tasty ham.” According to Rabbi David Feinberg, head of the American Congress of Orthodox Rabbis, the newly approved ham will be in- corporated into a number of Jewish customs. “During the Passover Seder, which commemorates our people’s deliverance from slavery in Egypt, we will remember the day God brought us unto the Land of Milk and Honey by drinking a tall glass of milk with a thick slice of honey-glazed ham,” Feinberg said. “And joining the charoses and maror on the seder plate will be a ham roll, symbolizing the juicy, mouth-watering taste of freedom.” Feinberg also noted that an abbreviated version of Passover, to be called Hamover, will be observed on the third Saturday of every month. The new holiday, he said, will involve “the eating of tons of ham.” Saperstein will officially announce all the changes to the dietary code next Friday during a World Rabbinical Council cookout at the Wailing Wall. Though some of the de- tails have yet to be worked out, most notably “From this day forth, we shall honor Noah’s greatestson by partaking of the ﬂesh which shares his name. ” those involving the kosher status of redeye gravy and the Talmudic interpretation of “all the trimmings,” Saperstein said he would stress the important role ham has played in his people’s ancient roots. “As it is written in Genesis, Noah had a much-beloved son named Ham, who was the father of all Canaan,” Saperstein said. “From this day forth, we shall honor Noah’s greatest son by partaking of the ﬂesh which shares his name.” Saperstein also noted that the complex genealogies of the Pentateuch lend credence to the theory that Abraham bore a son named Ba- ~ kon, and that l one o f Da- vid’s in-laws was known as Zebulon Bar— Sausage. S h o r t - | y fol 10 w - in g th e an - nouncement, O r t h o d o x Jews across the country stormed gro- cery stores, f e v e r i s h l y buying up all the ham they could carry. “Canned ham, smoked ham, sliced ham, potted ham, ham loaf—they were all ﬂying out of here,” said Chris Dinardo, manager of a butcher shop in Borough Park, a Hasidic neighborhood in Brooklyn. “Just last week, those same customers would stare longineg at those hams for hours before slumping off with a roast turkey.” “Last night, ﬁve or six of those fellas with the long beards and black hats came in here and ran up a $564 bill,” said Jack Bur- kett, owner of Smoky Jack’s BBQ in Rocky Mount, NC. “Every time we’d bring them a plate, they’d just choke out the words, ‘More pig,’ between bites.” Though the departure from traditional kosher law may seem like a radical change. Jewish elders point out precedents such as 1977’s experimental Yom Lobster holiday, and stress that Judaism is not above modi- ﬁcation. “The original codes were set down thousands of years ago by a nomadic people with no knowledge of refrigeration, preser- vatives or disease control,“ said Rabbi Eli- yahu Baruch oneshiva University. “While we retain many of these traditions to honor our ancestors and our God, we recognize that they are unnecessary from a practical standpoint. Have you ever smelled bacon frying? Oy, vey, how my mouth waters.“ “For six millennia, the story ofthe Jew- ish people has been the story of survival,“ Baruch said. “But even the most indestruc— tible race would lose their will to live after 6.000 years of brisket." Local college not well endowed: Augsburg takes permanent “sabbatica ” ‘ THE LAST ADDRESS FROM SOON-TO-BE UNEMPLOYED ECHO STAFF WRITER JON PETERSON. Ion Peterson Staﬂ Writer Aﬁer struggling paycheck to paycheck, hand to mouth, since 1869, Augsburg’s endowment dearth has ﬁnally caught up with the small liberal arts college. “Just when things were start- ing to get good around here,” said a professor from the history depart- ment disappointedly as he packed his bags this past Monday. Meanwhile, the social work department shared similar senti- ments and discussed various spec- ulations for what is said to become of the recently abandoned build- ings, including talk of a potential petting zoo being constructed in the school’s absence. The petting zoo would be the largest ever con- structed in Hennepin County. Rumors also say that Gov. Pawlenty has planned to break ground on the tentatively titled Noah's Arc Petting Zoo (formerly Augsburg College) project next month, a plan sources indicate, will be explained in detail by Pawlenty as he addresses paw-len- tee of fortunate Augsburg grads still receiving diplomas during Augsburg’s “last horrah” gradua- tion ceremony set for May 1. Down in the CSWL, there was gossip of Augsburg being replaced by a small liberal-arts Lutheran college with a diverse student population and a core that supports values of faith and community. Following a week ofdisarray, the urban campus currently re- sembles more of an old-fashioned novelty ghost town than any sort of institution for higher education. “l have never seen this many tumbleweeds in my entire life,” said newly appointed custodian and former Augsburg assistant Professor of Psychology, for which she added, “well I have never actu- ally seen a tumbleweed before, I am from St. Paul,” further adding, “don’t you agree though?... so many tumbleweeds.” In the midst of much despair, the campus‘ overall morale has never been higher upon the ma- jority of tenured professors’ col- lective realization that they’d still be receiving paychecks despite Augsburg’s non-existence. Those without tenure, including adjuncts, ﬂed/retumed immediately to the couches of friends and family or to live overly-romanticized pastoral lives in the quaint secluded soli- tude of the Minnesota river valley. Several English professors have expressed interest in using the time to “write some stuff." Other faculty members have remained less complacent; the business, religion and science pro- fessors who have been anxiously awaiting their new building were forced to leave the premises earlier this week as they begged Augsburg Public Safety to “give peace a chance.” The small remaining segment of the student body that was not consumed by the massive and ecstatic student freedom March back to parents’ basements across the Midwest are bound by resi- dence life contracts to stay in their dorms until at least mid-April and continue to strive for excellence. A handful of students still adhering to their contracts have used their time wisely; studying quietly in their rooms, reading Tol- stoy’s Anna Karenina, practicing logarithms, uniting daily to keep Umess hall “nice and tidy” and have been consistently living oﬁ" pilfered canned peaches from the cafeteria riots this past Tuesday. Overall, the students are elec— tric with anticipation about a more “relaxed” schedule. “Does that mean we get like an early summer or like spring break part two or something,” asked junior Dave Madsen bewil- deredly. The disconcertion didn‘t end with Madsen. Befuddled social science professors have also fallen victim to the state of normlessness and recent pandemonium, and set aside their differences this past Wednesday in a uniﬁed attempt to explain what social, economic, and political factors are responsible for the school’s downfall. Their aptly titled communal project, “I Knew that Flashy New Sign was Trouble and Those Fireworks Last Fall Were a Little Too Good to be an Economically Sound lnvest- ment,” was presented yesterday to an audience ofthree vagabonds and several vultures amidst the shambles that was once a proud Oren 100. Due to the dwindling budget, said to vanish completely some- time this evening following nu- merous under-handed allocations, the bulk funding for the research had to be evasively derived from the remnants ofjunior English ma- jor Ted Conover‘s annual tuition and copy editor salary. Meanwhile the Archbishop of the ELCA, using his special church authority, ofﬁcially declared a state of Marshall Law for Augsburg this past Thursday, referring to the once exalted molder of minds as a “barren wasteland of despair and godlessness.” Murphy Square literary and arts journal on the other hand is governed by Minneapolis sanc- tions and remains a peaceful and pristine hotspot for Minneapoli- tans with Frisbees in hand and a se- rious case ofspring fever! Several of Augsburg’s previous students, faculty and staff were spotted yesterday afternoon during the park‘s daily festivities. including former President Paul Pribbenow and current Minneapolis Mayor R.T. Rybak. “Well we had a good run. you win some you lose some, some- times the ﬁsh doesn‘t always bite the hook, better luck next year, we went out swingin‘, there are more ﬁsh in the sea, every dog has its day,” said Pribbenow anxiously as he grilled hot dogs for what once was the beloved, perennial NCAA Division lll National Champion wrestling team. Pribbenow is the soon to be owner of the Jimmy John’s expansion project said to be replacing the present state of chaotic lawlessness and former home of“The Auggies". Optimistically, Pribbenow added, “At this point it could really turn into a petting zoo that serves Jimmy John‘s sandwiches, wha- daya think about that? Personally, I think it‘s a new step in Augsburg history, a crucial vocational stride honoring a long tradition that is well, actually, no longer relevant... huh, hmm...yeah, I got nothin‘... Hot dog anyone?“ Mayor Rybak was also asked for comment on the desperate situ- ation to which he responded “What the hell is an Augsburg?“ Ironically, the Communica- tions department apparently has not yet been informed of the school‘s collapse and continues business as usual.
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 2, 2010, Page 06
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Page 6 Minneapolis, Minnesota VARIETY WW ~59 w Belward rediscovers love in these hard times MALENA THOSON Poop 6‘ Pee Editor Since Romeo & Juliet kicked the bucket, giving in to their misappropriated social fury and raging adolescent hormones, and succumbed to the inevitable death of any couple...
Show morePage 6 Minneapolis, Minnesota VARIETY WW ~59 w Belward rediscovers love in these hard times MALENA THOSON Poop 6‘ Pee Editor Since Romeo & Juliet kicked the bucket, giving in to their misappropriated social fury and raging adolescent hormones, and succumbed to the inevitable death of any couple who becomes sexually active before marriage, we’ve looked at love a little differently in our society. Year after year we are fed love stories that seem altogether implausible or insufﬁcient. There have been stories like A Walk To Remember that nearly satisﬁed audiences by asserting the inarguable truth that: yes, socially inept fanatically religious girl wear- ing the muumuu, that rebel will fall for you even if you beg him not to; and no, love isn‘t love ifsomeone doesn’t die. However, we the viewer were sorely disappointed when Landon found acceptance and peace about Jamie’s death. She died, Landon, WHERE’S YOUR HEART?! Nick Sparks’ second attempt showed that he learned his lesson about positing that true lovers can possibly live any semblance of a whole life without one another, and not be completely torn asunder by the oth- Who’s the wisest of them all? ers’ absence (a grievous error, I’m sure he received plenty of perturbed notes). In The Notebook he assures us that, even though the road may be rocky, no amount of wars, economic crises, rainstorms or age-related mental deterioration will deter true love from prevailing in the creepiest, most “this is deﬁnitely going to look like a suicide pact” sort of way. But what was with all that moving—on-with-my-life, sleeping~ with-other-people, growing—a-beard crap in between? No thank you! That is why I must say, from the bottom ofmy tortured soul, thank you to Stephanie Meyer for brining true love back into our society with Twilight. (While I’m at it, thank you to Kristin Stewart for standing ﬁrm on her stance that modern acting is too ﬂashy, that one really only needs a bewildered look and a basic grasp on human speech inﬂections to be successful in the US. box oﬂice. . .and to Robert Pattinson for keeping the audience so bewildered as they try to decide why they’re attracted to a glittery bar of soap sculpted into man form that they’re distracted from realizing that he’s really a semi-humanoid subterranean creature that has barely begun learning the ways of our over-bright, above ground world.) Edward and Bella’s codependent mu- tual obsession exempliﬁes what a healthy romantic relationship should be. Bella’s complete lack of regard for her own well- being and physical safety in exchange for being with her blood-thirsty, enemy-ridden boyfriend is an example of the type oftrue devotion that our society has lost. Edward, on the other hand, demonstrates a male-lover archetype that has fallen out of fashion, replaced by less the worthless struggle for personal development and independence in relationships. Only Edward has been bold enough to bring back the classic you’re- my—reason-for-living, be-with—you—always, watch-you-whiIe-you-sleep manic style of affection. Twilight is truly a revolutionary move- ment, one that bases its struggle in reclaim- ing love, true love, and banishing all those wussy conceptions of love that champion respect, trust, and personal safety. Edward and Bella remind us that our soul mate is out there, and we should have found them by age 16, or else what are we doing? What is the point? We are incomplete, insufﬁcient, and so, so alone. Thank you, Belward, for showing us how miserable we really are. We understand now that our desolate, crushing feelings of having wasted our time occurred because we ﬁnally grasp how urgently we need to es- cape our safe, happy, independent relation- ships. Certainly this feeling couldn’t have stemmed from our concern for having lost 1.5 hours of our lives to the worst cinematic exploit ever to pull the ﬂeece over the eyes of preteen girls around the world. . .no way, José. BECKI IVERSON General promoter of illegitimate writings Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who IS the wisest ofthem all? Since beloved Prof. Don Stein- metz’s death last semester, the position ofmost brilliant Augsburg professor has remained in question. As many may be aware, it has been long established that many of the professors with the great- est minds are also, physically, the smallest. “It seems to me that there is a direct correlation between the size ofone’s waist and the size ofone’s brain,” said Augsburg junior Ted Conover. “All my friends have also seemed to notice that the most miniscule professors are always the smartest.” This anecdotal observation is ap- parently not without merit. NASA has been compounding data on pro- fessor height, weight, IQ and peer- reviewed publishing for 40 years, and recently published these in a controversial study which shows a direct negative correlation between size and intelligence. Also observed is a stronger-than- chance correlation between profes- sor size and student fear, a statistic which former campus sweetheart Steinmetz consistently deﬁed. In accordance with these univer- sal truths, there will be a weigh- in next week between three of Augsburg’s smallest luminaries: Professor Bruce Reichenbach, of the philosophy department; $560/month Park Plots for RENT 4ft/4ﬂ squares of Murphy Park Professor Frankie Shackelford, of the language and cultural studies department; and Professor Dallas Liddle of the English department. Each of these professors is well known in their ﬁelds, sometimes for relatively obscure specialties. For example, Professor Liddle is an expert in the ﬁeld of Dead Brit- ish People. Prof. Reichenbach has done much work in God and stuff. As previously mentioned, a common trait attributable to such venerable educators is a general fear among students when entering a room they are present in. “I have a lot of respect for Profes- sor Reichenbach,” said Augsburg alumni Phillip Kaup. “But I must admit, I messed in my trousers every time I came to class.” Similar effects have been re- Looking to adopt a SQUIRREL ported by students enrolled with Prof. Liddle. The most commonly reported side-effect of his classes require a large amount of saw—dust and mopping. Betting will begin two days before the weigh-in, on April 14. Wagers can be placed with the busi- ness department (more commonly referred to as “The Irish Bookies”). The dark-horse candidate is cur— rently Professor Mary Lowe, with experts citing the frequency of her tear-inducing papers as a strong intelligence indicator, in spite of her mediocre eensy-weensy rat- ings. The weigh-in will take place in a mass pep rally on the aﬂemoon of April l6.’ COMFY COMFY COMFY Couch for sale $1,200 (or best offer) (slightly cheaper than Mort) AMUSEMENT PARK AT AUGSBURG COLLEGE Opens for limited time premire: April 5—9 Tickets: $3/ride $10/all day pass Attractions Include: -Aviands Golf Cart rides -Grounds crew snow sweeper -Mort Tower of Terror -Mort Haunted Pit (of despair) should be well-fed, people friendly, low mateniance, and willing to eat trash Willing to pay $75-$165 Contact Boyd at 612-330-1017 *************** Cute Black Mice Babies FOR ADOPTION unlimited number to choose from $15-$35 Call Augsburg Event Services X1104 **#**¥¥**##***** Interested? email: echo@augsburg.edu “Loss of a Loved One" A conversation for students with Pauline Boss Tuesday April 6‘h 3:30 - 5:00 pm. in the Augsburg Room Sponsored by CCHP. For more information call 330- I 707
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 2, 2010, Page 07
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: c A... Minneapolis, Minnesota Phillip the Bruce reincarnate ' FORCES AUGSBURG STUDENTS TO FIGHT THE BRITISH IN SCOTTISH WAR OF INDEPENDENCE BECKI IVERSON Tabloidist Extraordinaire They may take his life, but they will never take his freedom. Word has reached the Echo that Phillip “the Bruce” will...
Show morec A... Minneapolis, Minnesota Phillip the Bruce reincarnate ' FORCES AUGSBURG STUDENTS TO FIGHT THE BRITISH IN SCOTTISH WAR OF INDEPENDENCE BECKI IVERSON Tabloidist Extraordinaire They may take his life, but they will never take his freedom. Word has reached the Echo that Phillip “the Bruce” will be leading a rebellion of students to expel the British from Scotland this spring. “Traveling is my favorite thing to do,” “the Bruce” said. “It has become tradition for me to travel with the intention of liberating a new group of people under Augs- burg’s name at least once a year.” “The Bruce’s” students are excited about this opportunity for experiential learning. “I love the Scots,” said medi- eval history major and Augsburg junior Ashley Abbate. “I have worked with Phillip ‘the Bruce’ several times during my work at Augsburg, and I am happy to do whatever he asks if it means I can go to Scotland.” “The Bruce’s” long tenure at Augsburg allows him to have such strong ties to his students, and subsequent inﬂuence over their summer break plans. His face is well known on campus, but few students know about his history outside of the classroom. The history of the Bruce Contrary to popular belief, it was not Mel Gibson (aka William Wallace) who played the most important role in the Scottish wars of independence against England in the 14th century. It was actually Phillip “the Bruce,” a somewhat obscure but now reincarnated king of the Scots. “The misunderstanding about Mel and I is one of the greatest regrets of my life,” “the Bruce” said. “Our reminiscences at the bar comprise some of my fondest memories-and bloodiest knuck- les.” Knowledge of “the Bruce" has become more widely known since the 1995 hit Hollywood smash Braveheart. However, he is still seen among historians as a ﬁgure who has not yet received full credit for his accomplishments This lack of recognition is one speculated reason “the Bruce” re- incarnated himself in our present age. Some assert his goals to be simply total expulsion of the Brit- ish from Scotland for good. Others still think he has returned to bring the kilt back into common fashion. Regardless of motivation, “the Bruce” clearly intends to use the students accompanying him on his trip as accomplice ﬁghters for his battle. Former travels of the Bruce “The Bruce,” who travelled to Egypt last spring to lead the cho- sen people to the promised land, is well known for his historical exploits. “The Bruce” is more commonly known as “Professor Adamo,” currently the sitting head of the history department at Augsburg College. He uses the professor moniker as a cover-up for his subversive exploits, in which he helps oppressed populations earn their independence. In last year’s travels, “the Bruce” led a group of Augsburg students, as well as his sneaky sidekick Professor Mohammed Sallam, in a trip to Egypt to lead the Israelites to the promised land. His title, “Prince of Egypt,” came in part because he knew “pretty much everything about Egypt," according to famous Jew- ish leader Moses. “Blowy sands and pointy obe— lisks were my scene," said “the salt ,e Walker Art Center walkerart.org 612.375.7600 . Become a fan! Follow the Walker on Facebook and Twitter. 93}. 23?} Q. Bruce.” “I’ve decided to move on to new territories and new con- quests this year.“ This year, “the Bruce” will be leading students on a similar mission in a trip to Scotland. The Bruce’s new sidekick, Professor Colin Irvine, is a known Commu- nist spy who will be conveniently “abroad on a Fulbright in Norway" next year. Lost deer foundin Murphy Park M Director, DPS A deer was found at Murphy Park in the vicini- tics of Augsburg College. accordiong to reports ofthe Minneapolis Police Depart— ment. The reports came after the Minnesota Department ot‘Natural Resources called 9| 1 to infomi that one ofthe deer which was being used for “conﬁdential tests" had escaped. “I was in my ofﬁce and all the sudden there was a deer right outside eating fruit from the orchard." said Bjorn Peterson, Concert Committee chair for ASAC. who works in a window fac~ ing Murphy Park. "I was in disbelief, [just looked at it and I just couldn‘t believe it.“ The deer still remains in Murphy Park and authorities are waiting for it to end eat— ing fruit from the orchard to relocate it to the DNR‘s St. Paul ofﬁce. If you fear that your safety is at risk don‘t hesitate to contact DPS as 612-330- l7l7 Page 7 VARIETY S One woman show is ahead of its time (what does that mean?) MALENA THOSON TéA Editor In lieu of the traditional A-List, this week I would like to highlight an event that is especially dear to my heart. For several months I have been working on the develop- ment of a one-woman show, starring myself, that will highlight one of the major concerns facing the modern Augsburg Student (speciﬁ- cally, me). The title of the show is “How writing the A-List every week ruined my life” and it is scheduled to pre- mier on an undecided date in the 1-94 Room of Christiansen Center. The show, which is high- ly interpretive (I don‘t expect anyone to really get it, I mean. it’s. like, really artistic). is an emotional exhibition that rcp- licates my real-life process of writing the Echo 's A-List each week. This consists mainly of me tearing the keys ottt of my keyboard one-by‘one while sobbing hysterically and screaming. "NO ONE EVEN READS IT!" It is a [taunting act. rife with deep reﬂections on this epistemological tradition that has been passed down from one generation of A&E edi- tors to the next. wasting time and space week after week with plugs to local artistic marvels that will once again go unnoticed and unattended. So come to my show. watch as I roll on the ground. thrashing Violently, gradually arranging the torn keys into the letters “H” and “Y” and offering the empty husk of my laptop to the audience in a symbolic act ofmy future relinquishment ol‘olﬁce to the next wayward soul charged with the duties of the Arts & Entertainment section: an individual who will undoubt- edly continue the struggle. continue writing the A-List. clinging to the hope that perhaps one day. someone. anyone. out there will read it and think. "oh. gosh. I have nothing to do this Friday... that looks fun!"
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 2, 2010, Page 08
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Page 8 Minneapolis, Minnesota THE BACK PAGE Friday, April 2, 2010 A Very Punny Crossword Auggie at a Glance: Bjorn Peterson ’3’ TED CONOVER Incompetent Copy-Editor Of all students here at Augsburg College, few are as bitter and ill tempered asjunior, Music Business major Bjorn Peterson. When...
Show morePage 8 Minneapolis, Minnesota THE BACK PAGE Friday, April 2, 2010 A Very Punny Crossword Auggie at a Glance: Bjorn Peterson ’3’ TED CONOVER Incompetent Copy-Editor Of all students here at Augsburg College, few are as bitter and ill tempered asjunior, Music Business major Bjorn Peterson. When asked for an interview Peterson said “do 1 get paid? No? GET OFF MY LAWN!" Originally form Podunk, who-the-hell-knows- where. North Dakota. Peterson came to Augsburg be- cause “The application only took me ﬁfteen minutes.” His major in Music business will mainly be used to sign bands, then viciously and without conscience steal their equipment so he can greedily hoard it in his shed. When asked about Peterson, junior music major Fred Torvik said “Bjomio?” referring to Peterson’s nickname likening him to frozen pizza, “Don’t ever challenge that kid to Mario Kart. He takes it way too seriously.” Torvik is probably referring to a late-night incident in 2007 when Peterson made a one Aaron Staples have his mom pick him up because Peterson had beaten him 134 times in a row on Rainbow Road. Peterson is reported to have retired from Mario Kart 64 shortly after setting his record for consecutive victories so no one could ever break it, exemplifying his selﬁsh, own-it-all view on life. dogs dogs dogs Crossword By: Molly Dunne. Features Editor Across: Bird's home 5. Accountant. abbr. 8. Lang. Superman's GF 12. I3. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 22 23. 24. 28. 31. 32. 34. Bullring shouts Of or relating to the lymph system Freud‘s concerns Nickelodeon’s explorer Juan‘s January Ages and ages How old batteries are distributed? . Commercials Owns Like a seesaw. for example Grocery or shopping. i.e. Turn away. as the eyes Hon man What the sign at the rehab facility reads? 40. 41. 42. 43. 44. 45. 46. Make a misstep Homer‘s Trojan War epic Blues singer. Redding Quaker‘s base grain Famous loch Nothin. nada. zip Why the boy won‘t tell his mother he ate the glue‘.’ 56. 57. 58. 59. Double-reeded instrument Bland cracker Carry Dangerous ﬂy Down: l. a Sign ofagreement “Mr. Blue Sky" band 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 4o 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 3. Feudal servant 4. Former Russian ruler 5. String ofletters following “A” and “B” 6. Make dry 7. Hello and Goodbye. in Hawaii 8. Lascivious look 9. Very eager 10. Not even one 1 1. Donkey 12. Basic necessity, like water or shelter l3. Lennon’s love(s) 20. Have an drop) 21. Same size 24. One of HOMES 25. Happily after 26. Suddenly change direction, maybe otfcourse 27. Abbreviated company software 29. Moses‘ brother 30. Shred. as in cheese 32. Mortgage and residence grp. 33. Crimson or scarlet 35. Shrek‘s love 36. Special aptitude, maybe for art 37. Names 38. Bro's sib 39. Snake’s sound 46. Place to park 47. Nigerian native 48. Pan‘s partner 49. View 50. Utilized a chair 3]. Golfer Ernie the door, (eaves- 2 Little Dogs You’ll LOVE any price Contact: Brian Emerick (612-330—1514) MATTRESS SALE!!!!!!! Over 233 gently used mattresses to choose from. $45/each $75/f0r 2 Contact: Anderson Hall, Augsburg College *** (not responsible for medical issues related to contact with said mattresses, including bed bugs and sexualy transmitted diseases) Ask Andrea {She} that girl. You know, the one who knows everything ) Andrea, So this is sort of embarrassing, but I have a crush on this girl that you might know. She is graduating in a month, she has really awesome friends that are really intimidating and it would appear that she has everything in life all ﬁgured out because she writes advice for the newspaper and I don 'tknow how to tell her how I feel. What should] do]? Waiting for your help, iLikeU Dear, iLike Um, I think you just told her how you feel. So, way to be brave, my good ﬁ'iend. And it isn’t embarrassing to have feelings for me, all the things you said are true: I am re- ally great. But, if you’re not talking about me (I think you might be), here’s some advice on how to woo the ladies (and by ladies, I mean speciﬁcally this lady) in general. ~Drink rootbeer. . .all the time -Talk about how much you hate Ronald Regean but LOVE jellybeans —Befn'end squirrels -Read lots and lots of feminist theory; take a drink (yes, of alcohol) every time you read the word “identity” or “gender.” Text me after a few days, if I can understand you, I’ll love you forever. -Become an expert at something useless, like paper mache, balloon animal hat making or science. -Steal ﬁgurines from restaurants and wrap them in silver wrapping paper. Write haikus on the paper and leave the giﬁ on my doorstep at 4:32 am. on Tuesday mornings. Ring the doorbell and run away so I don’t kill you for waking me up. You crazy. -Buy Molly Ehling and Malena Thoson tons of giﬁ cards to the Seward Co-op. Tell them that they look beautiful. Stalk them until they feel appreciated. (You’ll have to understand that I live by the motto laid out for me by my favorite band: “if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends...”) , -lncrease the number of forehead wrinkles you have when you raise your eyebrows. -Quit emailing me questions about how you like me. It’s weird. I hope this helps. Good luck. -Andrea
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 20, 2012
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection

Title: Augsburg Echo April 20, 2012, Page 01
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Augsburg College 41-) MAW) Documenting Occupy MN , 3 5 W The College’s Student—Produced Newspaper page Friday, April 20, 2012 . Minneapolis, Minnesota Volume CXVIII, Issue 20 12 highest salaries on campus Highest Salary: President Paul Pribbenow Second: Christin" Suj, VP and Chief of Stnﬁ‘ Third:...
Show moreAugsburg College 41-) MAW) Documenting Occupy MN , 3 5 W The College’s Student—Produced Newspaper page Friday, April 20, 2012 . Minneapolis, Minnesota Volume CXVIII, Issue 20 12 highest salaries on campus Highest Salary: President Paul Pribbenow Second: Christin" Suj, VP and Chief of Stnﬁ‘ Third: Jeremy Wells, VP for KACIE LUCCi-tim Features Editor The top 12 highest paid people at Augsburg are named on the IRS tax forms for Augs- burg as an “exempt organiza- tion.“ The following informa- tion accounts for June 1, 2010 to May 31, 2011. President Pribbenow is the highest paid person at Augs- burg with a yearly salary of $261,397. The document also notes Pribbenow’s house is for personal use but is owned by the college. The second highest paid person is Christine Szaj with a yearly salary of$174.883. Szaj is the Vice President and Chief of Staff. The third highest paid person is Jeremy Wells with a yearly salary of $170,764. Wells is the Vice President for Institutional Advancement. The fourth highest paid person is Barbara Farley with a yearly salary of $163,359. Farley is the Vice President for Academic Affairs and Dean of the College. The ﬁﬁh highest paid per» son is Julie Edstrom with a yearly salary of $133,055. Ed» strom is the Vice President for Enrollment Management. The sixth highest paid person is Leif Anderson with a yearly salary of $132,129. Anderson is Vice President and Chief Information Ofﬁcer. The seventh highest paid person is Thomas Morgan with a yearly salary of $129,726. Morgan is the Executive Direc- tor of the Center for Faith and Learning. The eighth highest paid per» son is Mark Engebretson with a yearly salary of$122.567.Enge- bretson is a Physics professor. The ninth highest paid person is Rebecca John with a yearly salary of$12 ] .046. John is the Vice President for Market» ing and Communication. The tenth highest paid person is Dawn Ludwig with a yearly salary of $118,022. Ludwig is the director of the Physician's Assistant Program. The eleventh highest paid person is Andrea Turner with a yearly salary of $112,117. Turner is the Assistant Vice President for Human Resources. The twelfth highest paid person is Ann Garvey with a yearly salary of $110.63l. Garvey is the Vice President for Student Affairs. According to payscale.com. the average professor makes $41,373 to $130,398. This de» pends on the subject taught and level ofeducation. This information is public record and is accessible through Inside Augsburg under “College Reports.“ Adv Fourth: Barbara Farley. VP for Academic Affairs and Dean of the College Fiﬁh: Julie Edstrom, VP for Enrollment Management . :2 é ‘13 Seventh: Thomas Morgan, Executive Director, CFL MPIRG encourages conversation surrounding marriage amendment Anamﬂiu. NewsBdilor MPIRG is actively involved in ﬁghting the marriage amendment and wants Augsburg students to vote no in November. The maniage amendmentpm posal states that a union should be between one man and one woman. if passed. the amendment would put up yet another barrier in the road to legalizing gay marriage. "This isn‘t a political issue.“ said MPIRG Campus Organizer Joey Dohson. “Ultimately it is about people and people's faiths. Real people and real human val- ues." On April [2. MPIRG hosted "‘Why Marriage Matters“ uith Omicron Delta. Campus Ministry. and Queer and Straight in Unity. Fia Goldfine, secretary of Queer and Straight in Unity and self-identiﬁed lesbian. said the amendment would mean “a per— manent ban for all generations to come." Goldﬁne said that the amend- ment make her think about her own family and how someday she wants one of her own. “I want to get married; it is just that simple for me." In 2009. the voters passed the same-sex marriage ban in California. When talking about the struggle for the right to marry in California. Dobson said it was a “heart urenching loss.“ Protestors there immediately began asking voters why they didn 't \ ote against the amendment, “Some folks don't believe gay marriage is a constitutional right or thought the amendment didn‘t aﬁect them.“ MPIRG has dec1ded to change up the campaign. Dobson said. “Instead of hitting people in the heads the need to hit them in their hearts and guts." The “Why Marriage Matters" event focused on how to construct conversations to help people un- derstand the marriage amendment. Omicron Delta President Elizabeth Patten said “The angle of love works because the con- versations put more feeling and emotion behind it and it becomes more inﬂuential." Minnesotans United for All Families provided a “personal story worksheet“ at the event. it had speciﬁc questions for speCiﬁc groups such as straight allies and members ofthe LGBT community. "i believe in marriage equal» ity." said Dobson. "Marriage is about family. loyalty. love. and commitment." Associate College Pastor Sonja Hagander ga_\e an opening prayer and said "marriage is about the mutual sharing of selyes.“ Hagander said that the Exangeli- cal Lutheran Church of America lECLA) opposes the marriage amendment. "Why would faith Stand in the nay of committed couples taking care of each other?" After brainstorming ideas for their social justice project. Omicron Delta decided on the is— sue of gay marriage. said Patten. “We realized lots of people didn’t know about it. College students can make a difference by havmg conversations with people about the marriage amendment." Patten said the National So- ciety of Social Work has put gay rights in their legislation efforts. and “went to the Capitol and marched on the issue." “We can‘t get too comfort- able. There is lots of uork to be done." said Patten. Earlier this month. MPIRG hosted 3 "Let's Talk About Loxe" event to bring avt areness about the marriage amendment. Around that time. Patten said President Paul Pribbenovt pledged that he would vote no on the marriage amend» ment, Upcoming Augsburg 3 Events Saturday. April 21 Augsburg Jazz- JIVE Concert 2:30 [7 m. FLIMUIM Dun) \. 300/ Hemlcpm Art'nw Figure Skating Club of Minneapolis presents: Dancin’ Blades lce Show Performances at 3 p.112, and 7' p m Augsburg ICU Arum Adults S7. Students $5. Children (12 & under) $5, Seniors (60+ } $6 Sunday. April 22 Augsburg Symphony Orchestra Concert 7'30p.m. Hovemlen Chapel, hrs Free and open to the public Tuesday, April 24 Murphy Square Reading 5 '30 [2.m. 06(' I00 Thursday, April 26 "ln the City" Admissions Event Learn about Augsburg‘s weekend college and graduate programs. then tour the “Art in Bloom" exhibit at the Minneapolis Institute of Arts 5:00 pm. to 8:30 pm, Christensen Center Friday, May 4 StepUP Program Graduation 1:00,).m Swarm A udiiunum, .Mmlt‘ Hull Commencement Concert The Augsburg Choir performs their Bon Voyage concert. touring the West Coast May 6‘17. Free and open to the public snap». Hm'erilm ( 'hupel. Fort Saturday. MI) 5 Day Commencement II {It} run 31 Mel/7y Ilul/
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 20, 2012, Page 02
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Page 2 News Minneapolis, Minnesota Martin/Zimmerman case, starting point for conversation ABENI HILL News Editor The Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case has brought on conversations about race and racial proﬁling. A Town Hall com— munity conversation was held in the Trinity Lutheran Congregation...
Show morePage 2 News Minneapolis, Minnesota Martin/Zimmerman case, starting point for conversation ABENI HILL News Editor The Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case has brought on conversations about race and racial proﬁling. A Town Hall com— munity conversation was held in the Trinity Lutheran Congregation community space on April 17 to discuss implications of stereo- types. racism. and racial proﬁling. The case was a starting point for the conversation. On February 26 in Sanford, Florida. George Zimmerman. a neighborhood watchman, killed Trayvon Martin. a l7-year-old African—American male. Zimmemtan was not arrested until recently because he claimed self—defense and was protected by Florida's “Stand Your Ground“ law. which grants someone the right to use a weapon against who- ever they think to be an imminent threat. Protesters called for Zim- merman's arrest through wearing 1 million “hoodies” for Trayvon and in other rallies. The media has talked exten— so ely about the racial controversy surrounding the case. “Some say proﬁling and some say misunder- standing." said Augsburg student Whitney Blount-Smith, referring to the case. Smith was a co-facilitator of the Town Hall conversation with another Augsburg student. Claire Bergren. Bergren said the topic is "prevalent to Augsburg and young people and can bring’ people together." “I look more like Zimmerv man than Trayvon Martin," said Bergren. “I probably have my own assumptions and prejudices." Bergren said she is willing to learn more about institutionalized rac- ism. Student Paris Yarbrough. who identiﬁes as a black woman, said “I don't have the right to deny resources. but I can be prejudiced." Racism can be deﬁned as be- ing prejudiced towards someone and having the power to take away their resources. But not ev- ery person in a speciﬁc group has the power to economically ruin another person. Sol Ras Asanti, a participant. said the Martin/Zimmerman case is about systemic racism and white privilege. “It is about privilege plus power. People with privilege have been taught not to see that privilege, People of color are taught how to survive." Other participants thought the system can hinder progressive thinking. Angela Bonﬁglio. another Augsburg student. said. “The sys- tem (white privilege and racism) is a set-up. Although we are biologi- cally the same, if we just say we are all the same we are ignoring what is really going on." Student Eli Grobel said. “Rec- ognizing the problem is the ﬁrst step.“ After that recognition. the correct training is necessary. so productive talks about race can happen. Blount-Smith said that for things to change. people need to “know the language to use to hold our systems accountable.“ Editorein-Chief Becca Andersen News Editor Abeni Hill Sports Editor Paul Hallgren Opinions Fditor Anya Cleaver AérE Editor Kathleen Watson Fea ures 'tor Kacie Lucchini E-mail — echo@augsburg.edu Phone — (612) 330-1102 of the students. subject to revision. apprttprlale. Augsburg College Echo Spring 2012 Staff 731 215t Avenue S, CB 148 Minneapolis. Minnesota 55454 The Augsburg Echo is published each Friday ~ except during vacation periods and holidays 7 by the students ofAugsburg College. Opinions expressed in the Echo are those of the authors and do not necessarily reﬂect those ofthe supporting staff. adminisuatlon. faculty. alumni/3e or the remainder The Echo does not necessarily promote the products or services it advertises. Advertisements can be placed in the Echo by contacting the advertising manager. Submissions are welcome and can be sent to ccho(u}‘augsburg.edu. All submis- \tOﬂa should be between 500-700 words and accompanied by the writer‘s name and contact lnlnrmallotl. All submissions become the property of the Echo and art- The Echo reserves the right to edit submitted material because of space limita- tions, repetitive subject matter. libelous content or any other reason the editors deem Prlnled by Prlnt Group Midwest on recycled paper. Layout Fditor Josh Jones Managing Editor Kesang Olsen Copy Editor Mina Hailing Web Eg‘tor/Ads Manager Fia Goldﬁne Eacultjy Adviser Boyd Koehler Tips -— echotips@gmail.com Fax — (612) 330-1666 C011ege working to restore funds released from restriction BECCA ANDERSEN Editor-m-chief The Dean‘s Ofﬁce, Finance 8: Administration, and Institutional Advancement are currently work- ing out ways to restore the funds that were released from restric- tion within various departments throughout campus. In a memo sent ﬁom the VP for Academic Affairs and Dean of the College Barbara Farley, these funds were said to have been “transferred in cases where the funds should not have been used for operating expenses." AVP for Academic Affairs and Dean of Arts and Sciences Amy Gort said that increased spend- ing over the next three years will restore the money released from the Religion Department fund. and plans for the replacement of funds tied to the Physics Depart- ment have been developed and approved. Planned activities that de- pended on the accounts affected include a new initiative for the Youth and Family Ministry pro- gram in the Religion Department and individual faculty research in the Physics Department, said Gott. Physics Professor Mark Enge- bretson said, “I‘ve been assured that the money will be replaced by the time I need it. Other than being surprised [initially], the ex- planation has been given, and the assurance hasn’t disappeared.” The majority of funds released from restriction came from ac- counts within the Religion and Physics departments, although exact numbers of all amounts released remain unavailable. VP for Finance and Admin- istration McGee said, “The Ac- counting Department is still in conunilnication with the individual departments as late as today. We are still talking about total dollars in the $100,000 range." The ﬁmds consisted of dona- tions or grants that require funds to be used for a speciﬁc purpose or in a speciﬁc way, said McGee. “When funds such as these are given to the College, Account- ing will record its commitment to the donor by identifying a spe- ciﬁc place in its ﬁnancial reporting where those responsible for carry- ing out the donor wishes can track the balances that are available to be spent [...] Plans have been put in place to ensure that the College fulﬁlls donors’ intentions relative to [these] restricted funds." ABENI HtLL News Editor Colleges students rallied to- gether to support Obama on April [4 at the Minnesota Greater To- gether Youth Summit. The event took place at the McNamara Alumni Center on the East Bank. "Hundreds ofstudents came from all over the state to suppon the President and build thelr teams on their campuses." said president ofStudents for Obama and Augsburg student. Meredyth Krug. Augsburg. Macalester. Ham- line. St. Olafand the University of Minnesota—Twin Cities were among the colleges represented at the summit. Krug said. “The fact that Greater Together Youth Summit emphasizes importance of student campaign involvement hundreds upon hundreds of stu— dents would take several hours out of their busy weekends showed that young people are excited for this election and will do what it takes to make sure Obama gets four more years." Krug said the speakers at the event stressed the importance of the next ﬁve months leading up to the election. "A lot is at stake. Young people have an opportunity to make their voices heard, affect the outcome of this election and determine whether or not the next four years will see progress and change. We need to take advantage ofthat opportunity." Krug has been interested in politics since 2007. “I truly believe that government. when under trusted hands, can help people.” “I just hope that [the stu- dents] recognized the importance of getting involved." said Krug. “Al Franken won by 312 votes in the 2008 senate race. This just goes to show that every vote counts." Students for Obama is hav- ing their last meeting of the semester on Thursday. April 26 at 7 pm. in Foss l9B. For more information or any questions about getting involved contact Meredyth Krug at krugm@augs- burgedu or visit the Minneapolis ofﬁce at 2722 University Ave SE by the TCF Bank Stadium. Amira Ahmed strives to bridge gap between communities 2m News Editor Midwest Community De- velopment Inc. (MCDl), 1808 Riverside Ave, is a non-proﬁt or- ganization that strives to empower young Somali women and girls. MDC I Founder and Executive Director Amira Ahmed said, “The Somali people need to focus on what we can have for the future and how we can live together. That is my goal." Ahmed describes her organi- zation as a “folk organization." According to the MCDI web- site. the organization's mission “is to provide Somali women and girls a safe atmosphere to develop their gifts. abilities and positive relationships." Ahmed is searching for vol- unteers to help make the space one that connects her community with non»Somali communities. “The students themselves can do a lot of work. We don't want to have a lot of staff,“ said Ahmed. She is aiming to have a coor- dinator and executive director as staff members. “The rest must be volunteers otherwise how are we going to sustain? Sustainability is number one." Ahmed said she wants to put the grant money she received in 2008 for the organization towards the communities and not paying staff, “We have to ﬁrst help each other otherwise we are not going to go anywhere." said Ahmed. “There is a huge gap. People don‘t even say hello to each other.“ She said she wants the Somali people to demonstrate their good qualities to other communities. “We need to show truth, our good sides, We are hard workers and we are trying to do whatever we can.“ Ahmed said she wants to have a radio or television program for Somali women. She also wants to create other outlets for her people to express themselves. “We need to sit down and have a dialogue," said Ahmed. “lt is a way of showing we have to appreciate ourselves.“ Ahmed said she wants to show her children the value of appreciat- ing yourself and the community. "Unless you do it ﬁrst no one else will do it for you." For more information visit http://www.midwestcommuni- tydeve|opment.org/default.htm
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 20, 2012, Page 03
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: “i As the worlds of college and _ professional sports grow evermore involved with outlandish con- tracts, exhausting prima donnas, and blind hero-worship on the part of fans, it grows increasingly easier to make fun of our country and its over-saturation in sports culture. I myself have been...
Show more“i As the worlds of college and _ professional sports grow evermore involved with outlandish con- tracts, exhausting prima donnas, and blind hero-worship on the part of fans, it grows increasingly easier to make fun of our country and its over-saturation in sports culture. I myself have been known to take some uncontested shots at certain ﬁgures and fans in this very publication. But no matter what anyone says (including me), great memo- ries can be made on the playing ﬁeld, and some of them go down as more than just legends in the lore of sports — they serve _as deﬁning moments in history too. This past Sunday, April 15, Major League Baseball celebrated the sixty-ﬁﬁh anniversary of the ﬁrst time Jackie Robinson took the ﬁeld for the Brooklyn Dodgers. In appreciation, every player and manager wore Robinson‘s number 42 jersey to honor his memory, and stadiums throughout the league had commemorative videos and ceremonies telling the story of how he obliterated every obstacle on his way to breaking baseball’s color barrier during his rookie season back in 1947. It should be noted that Rob- inson's debut occurred about ten years before the Civil Rights Movement began to gain steam. Throughout his career in the majors. Robinson encountered radical racism, ranging from the constantjeering of fans to physical confrontations by fellow players to numerous threats against his Auggie PAUL 11mm Sports Editor This past week was an event- ful one for Augsburg athletics. Back onApril to, the baseball team swept an aﬁemoon double- header versus St. Olaf, the ﬁrst time the program has done so since 1987. The Auggies-won by a score of 7-5 in the ﬁrst game and 4—3 in the second, showcasing the team's ability to come up on top in close games. First year pitcher Tanner Oakes threw all sex en innings of game one. notching se\ en strike- outs in the process. Another ﬁrst year. Dan Tombers. got the ﬁrst win of his career in game tw o. pitching 3.2 innings in relief. Senior right ﬁelder Alec John» son came up big for the Auggies on the day. going 4 for 6, dri\ing in two and scoring one run, Sopho- more shortstop Adam Carl and senior ﬁrst baseman Tom Peterson also had sn’ong days at the plate. Carl went 4 for 6 with two RBI. three runs. and a stolen base. while life coining from Northemers and Southerners alike. Somehow. he returned everything they sent his way with a smile on his face, It‘s quite mind-boggling to know that my grandparents were alive to watch this all take place. That’s how recently our country segregated a game based on race. One of the coolest pans of the Jackie Robinson story is this: he was ridiculously good at baseball. Branch Rickey, the Dodgers’ team president and general manager at the time, did not bring in Robinson as a charity case 7 he signed one Minneapolis, Minnesota of the elite ballplayers ofthe era. In his ﬁrst season in the big leagues. Robinson won the inau- gural Rookie of the Year Award, batting .297 with ‘I 2 homeruns and 48 RBI. and leading the National League with 29 stolen bases. Two years later, he won the NL MVP for having the most monstrous season of his career, hitting .342 with 16 homeruns and 124 RBI, and once again. he led the league with 37 steals. In all. Robinson boasted a career batting average of .3“. recording over 1.500 hits and earning a ﬁrst-ballot entry into the MLB Hall of Fame in I962. Despite his accomplishments on the ﬁeld, the memory ofJackie Robinson lives on in the ways he impacted lives. In addition to opening up the ﬂoodgates for hun- dreds of talented players to play on baseball's biggest stage, Robinson was a man ofactivism and service. He chaired the NAACP's million-dollar Freedom Fund Drive in I957 and worked with the organization for an additional ten years aﬁerward. He helped found the Freedom National Bank and established the Jackie Robinson Construction Company, which dedicated itself to building homes for low»income households. Final» Iy. Robinson was active in politics and was a public proponent ofthe Civil Rights Movement. These are just a few ofthc things he achieved outside ofbaseball; it‘s too bad he lived to be only ﬁfty-three years old. Robinson‘s long list of ac- complishments serves as one of the reasons I think it is entirely appropriate that, for at least one day in the season, everybody in the MLB wear number 42 7 because everybody ought to be like Jackie Robinson. Even though he is re- membered primarily for breaking baseball‘s color barrier. his story and his impact go far beyond the diamond. Robinson successfully began the integration of a game meant to unite Americans across the country in sport, and he self- lesst used his fame and resources to advance the lives of the people around him. This. to me, is a sports story truly worth celebrating. Sports News and Notes Peterson was 3 for 6 with two RBI and three ntns. The Auggie baseball team improved its record for the week to 4-0 on April 14 by sweeping Concordia-Moorhead to the tune of 5-4 in the ﬁrst game and 4—] in the second. Oakes landed his second win of the week in the ﬁrst of the twin billing. improving his record to 4—] for the year. First year pitcher Ryan Mestnik threw his fourth complete game of the sea- son in game two. Mesmik‘s record now stands at a MIAC-leading 8-0. Carl went 5-7 with three RBI on the‘day. For his elTorts last week. the MIAC awarded him pIa_\'er of the week honors, In all. he batted .692 0\ er the four game stretch, "It‘s an honor. and I couldn‘t ha\e done it without my team- mates." Carl said, As of April l7, the baseball team is 21-8 and 7-3 in MIAC play. tied for second and trailing only St. Thomas. It was a busy week for the Auggie softball team. who went 3-3. splitting each of their three series. Versus St. Olaf back on April I l , the Auggies won the ﬁrst game of their doubleheader 5-0 but fell just short in game two. 105- ing 4-2. In game one, sophomore pitcher Amanda Eaton recorded a complete game shutout. Junior Allyson Ruedy and sophomore Emily Smith both went 3 for 6 on the aﬂemoon. On April 14. the Auggies again won the opening game of the doubleheader with a 4-2 win over Bethe]. but the Royals won game two 4-3 in extra innings. Once again. Amanda Eaton notched the win for Augsburg on the mound. which was good for her ﬁfth ot‘thc season. Senior Kylee Persing and junior Bn Dorale were both 4 for 9 at the plate on the day The next day the softball team played another doubleheader. this time against C oncordia—Moorhead. This time. the Auggies dropped game one in an extra inning bean- breaker by a score of 7—6. In game two. the squad rebounded to hold onto a close 2—] win. In the team's victory. Persing went the complete game for her eighth win of the year. On the offensive side, ﬁrst year Bekka Kelly went 3 for X with a double. two runs, and three steals. As of April l7. thc Auggie softball team has an overall record of I4-IX and 7-7 in MIAC play. They remain in close contention for a playotT spot. The Augsburg men‘s track team sprinted to a ﬁfth place ﬁnish at the University of Wisconsin- River Falls Falcon Imitational on April 14.5eniors Rick Wolkc and Joe Arnold both ﬁnished in the top three in the 200 meter dash on Saturday. with Wolke winning the e\cni with a Ith of ZIM sec- onds and Arnold taking home the bronze by running 2 | .93 Both set personal bests in the e\ cm and are currently ranked ﬁrst and second in the MIAC this season in the 200, For his accomplishments in the 200 meter dash and in his rc- lays last week. Wolke was named the MIAC men's track athlete of the week. Page 3 Sports Hockey Alumni The Augsburg men‘s hockey team currently has three former players in the professional hockey ranks, Nick Guran. Mario Mjelleli, and Kris Rein- tlialer are all competing in their leagues respected playoffs. Nick Guran, ‘ II 2011-2012, Mississippi Surge (SPHL) Kris Reinthaler. ‘ ll 2011-2012,Graz 99ers (Austria) Mario MjeIIeli. ‘ll 20114012, Eindhovcn Kemphanen (Hollandi The Auggie womcn's track team also competed at the Falcon Invitational on Saturday. Junior standout Ashley Carney ran a 12.29 in the 100 meter dash. a personal best. She also set a per- sonal best in the 200 with a Illl'lC 0125.59. ('arncy is top ranked III the MIAC in the 100. and stands In second place in the 200. Finally, both the men's and women‘s golf teams were ace the this past weekend. The men finished sctcnlh In the So-liulc Warlburg ( ollcgc ‘Iournainciii. and the women look ninth at thc 3o-Iiolc LJiiiwrsit) oi St 'I honias lniitatiiinal. Junior /.ach Johnson led the war) llirthe mcn. shooting it cnrccr bcsl [47, Just three strokes met par 0n the women's \ILJL‘ Ilniiiizih Shaicr shot a learn best |X4 in lici two rounds It “as shalt-rs Ill\l time competing in an "\u‘gshtlry goll‘cicnl.
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 20, 2012, Page 04
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Page 4 Minneapolis, Minnesota Opinions/Editorials Beyond the label @AuggieProblems TINA Moms Contributor I have come to realize that one of my most intimate relationships is with the food I eat. Whether or not I have been conscious about what I am putting in my stomach, I am making a choice. I...
Show morePage 4 Minneapolis, Minnesota Opinions/Editorials Beyond the label @AuggieProblems TINA Moms Contributor I have come to realize that one of my most intimate relationships is with the food I eat. Whether or not I have been conscious about what I am putting in my stomach, I am making a choice. I gravitate towards a certain item. I ﬁx it how I like, chew, and so the process begins through my internal organs. It gives me what I need. and makes its exit onto other processes. This happens several times a day, and in a country where food is cheap, abundant. and at the center ofany ancient culture (or organism), I would hardly think twice about my next meal. unless the questions had to do with taste. or the daunting size twojeans in my closet. However. with the help of education. I hat e realized that my food stipulations are quite shallow. I realized that l have a relation- ship with food that is based on its image. the pleasure it gives, its illusory health beneﬁts. or on my own vanity. I didn‘t really know the food that I was putting into my body. So, I have put together. in my opinion, a better set of ques- tions to ask about the food I choose to eat. The first question is, what products make up this particular food item? By this, I mean, what are all the ingredients that go into, say. a granola bar? On most of America's nutrition facts. the ingredients make up a long list. What makes it so long are all of the added chemicals used for preservation, color. gloss. texture. sweetener, etc. However. what troubles me, is that I often can't even begin to pronounce many of these chemicals. nor does the label tell me what goes into those chemicals. Often. those additives are made in a laboratory, and do not occur naturally in crops or animals. Furthermore are foods known as “Genetically Modiﬁed Organ— isms.“ in which the very seed of the crop is constructed or modiﬁed in a lab in order to suit the growing demands ofcheap food. Genetic construction or modiﬁcation was introduced to food only about twcnty years ago, and humans still have yet to understand what these products may do to our bodies. The problem that I ﬁnd here is that food companies are not transparent on their labels about what really goes into the food they are selling. The second question is, what were the conditions under which this product was processed? There is much more behind the granola bar that I buy at Cub Foods. An entire textbook could be written on the subject. Look at a box of cereal or a carton ofmilk, and you'll ﬁnd an image of a pasture. perhaps with a happy cow and farmer. Is this image truthful. though? In my experience. I have found that it is quite oﬁen not truthful. Another thing that isn’t shown on labels are fertilizers or pesti- cides used in the growth process, or where the crop in the product is coming from. We do not know the farmer‘s name, we are not given a description of the farmer‘s contract with the corporation it is tied to, and we do not see the farmer‘s pay check compared to the corpora- tion's revenues. We do not see the settings where meat is slaughtered, and the dangers posed for workers. In the grocery store, there are no descriptions telling us how much waste an industrial crop or animal farm produces, and what negative effects it brings to the environ» ment. All that is emphmized in the grocery store are the gaudy labels. or affordable deals. ' Lastly, we must ask this: How far did this food travel? Were these grapes grown in California? This banana. in Honduras? This granola bar was put together and packaged in Virginia, but where were its grains grown? To take from Michael Pollan's Omnivorc 's Dilemma, our food today travels an average of 1.300 miles. From farm to plant. plant to grocery store. grocery store to our homes, inconceivable amounts of oil go into the agricultural industry (transportation. and also chemicals and machinery). If most of our food is entirely reliant on fossil fuels. and fossil fuels are running out. . .lhen what? Beyond the labels. cheap prices, and marketing ploys are worlds ofevents that surround our food that we do not get to see. In no way is this fair to consumers. Our choices for health and wealth are taken away from us. If you would like to learn about where Augsburg‘s cafeteria food comes from. please visit us in the Christentsen lobby. April 25 from IO am. to 4 p.m. is a #prob Kxcua Lvocumi Peanuts Editor Though Facebook still re- mains king, Twitter is rising in the rankings as a top competitor in social media sites. So it is not surprising that our own Auggies have taken to this trend. Auggie Problems is a twitter site where students can complain about things they don‘t like about Augsburg. It’s description says, “I am an Auggie and these are my problems..." While some are funny and even laughable, the rest have started a sickening trend. The tweets are racist, sexist, homophobic and transphobic. The tweets target the Augs- burg women as being unattractive and “slutty.” While others have up- loaded pictures of posters around campus describing events by ASA and PASU as ‘-‘only at Augsburg’ followed by the hash tag Auggie Problems. These tweets have also targeted events by QSU including the day of Gender Neutral Bath- rooms. - However, other students have tweeted to Auggie Problems tell- ing them that they don‘t agree. One student said, “You may have all these problems but you still pay tens of thousands of dollars to go here." Our generation believes that the inteinet is a place of free speech with no consequences... but it is not. The rest ofthis article is to the people who tweet to Aug- gie Problems. The faculty and staff of this school know what twitter is and know about this site. They can see everything you tweet includ- ing when you say that they are ﬂndre‘w Argues. . . Recycling ANDREW Fox Staff Writer While I have written many articles in the column to address numerous changes that have hap- pened on campus. some good, some bad, I have also written a number to address the habits of students: using the elevator and the “experience” of eating in the cafeteria, to name a few. Today I wish to address people's trash and recycling habitse which I ﬁnd less than satisfactory. You'll notice that spread across campus there are a number ofbins which are intended for a va» riety ofditferent materials. Firstly there are the compost bins which are intended for food items and other compostablc materials, such as the silverware and plates from Nabo which are made of corn. Secondly there are the recycling receptacles of which there are a va riety. There are the recycling bins intendedjust for cans and plastic. those intended just for paper, and those intended for all recyclable items. And lastly there is the trash. which takes any items which do not fall into these two categories. What I have noticed, sadly, is that people are being lazy and not throwing things into the correct re- ceptacles. I have seen many people throwing trash into the recycling. compost into the trash, and recy» cling into the compost. This is a problem. Augsburg is very com- mitted to being a green institution and has made many strides in the past decade in this regard. Hybrid DPS cars. a tray—less cafeteria, and wind energy are a few of the things Augsburg has .done to minimize our carbon footprint and become a more eanh friendly institution. But ete'n smaller'things like recy- cling and composting e which is (mostly) in the hands of students can have a big impact. Placing trash. recycling, and compost into the incorrect bins is inefﬁcient, annoying, and det- rimental. Assuming that some- thing ends up in the wrong bin, this means that you are relying on somebody else (perhaps the lem bad teachers or that you hate their class. The administration can also see this site. Keep that in mind. Racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic tweets have no place next to a trademarked sym- bol for Augsburg. This school is built on diversity and acceptance and your trash talking tweets de- grade everything we are trying to do here. _ Finally, if you don’t like Augsburg... DON’T GO HERE. Attending Augsburg College is a choice we all made. If you think the girls are ugly, if you hate your professors, if you hate the diver— sity of this school... go to another school. Nothing is keeping you here besides yourself. Complain all you want but remember that at the end ofthe day. . . you pay to go here. If you don’t like it, leave. rash? custodial staff) to correct your mistake by placing in into the right bin. But if they don't have the time, or just don’t catch it, then things get even worse. When recycling is put in the trash, easily recyclable material ends up in a landﬁll somewhere, unnecessarily taking up space. Trash or compost placed in the recycling soils the material and makes its unsuitable to be recycled. Even things such as cardboard pizza boxes cannot be recycled because of the grease and cheese on it. According to earth9l l.com contaminated recy- cling costs roughly $700 million a year to undo. So. I encourage you, the next time you go to throw something away or to place something in the compost or recycling, take a mo- ment to make sure you‘re throwing it in the right bin. Mother Earth will thank you. Editors Note: This is Andrew Fox's last column in the Echo as a student. Thank you for your years of service to the Echo. We appreci- ate you. Why I still love the Oxford Comma ANYA CLEAVER Opinions Editor I would like to discuss a good friend of mine, the Oxford Comma, This little buddy l have so fondly come to refer to as one of my closest pals has given me so much in the few years I have used the English language to write in. It has given me clarity. sensibi|< ity, comprehension. and above all else, the faint sense that I‘m better than everyone else. Because [gel the Oxford Comma. This little blighlcr is the reason that your sentences either makes sense, or do not make sense. For instance. and stop me If you‘ve seen this before, but there is a ccnain comic depicting JFK and Slalin in lingerie that speaks to this idea. “We invited the strippers. JFK. and Stalin," explains clearly that we have invited three parties to this gathering, (‘onvcrscly and without the Oxford Comma. “We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin," surprisingly tells us that we have invited two people, JFK and Stalin, and that these people take off their clothes for a living. i Er, that's a bit odd. Didn't think that they swung that way! So. that is the Oxford Comma. and it is of- ten vital to the clarity ofa sentence. but is also not always necessary. For example, “I bought apple, oranges and pears," is pretty clear regardless of the existence of an ad- ditional comma. I still think that for the sake of maintaining a cohesive and clean writing style, we need to be persistent in enforcing such grammatical rules as the renowned Oxford Comma. Don‘t take my absolute word for this, but I have it on good authority that there is a large disparity between the lexicon numbers of us and our parents. and that there are somewhere around 15. 000 words miss- ing from our vocabulary compared to the , vocabularies of our parents. ( I read this one study once and can‘t remember the name of it or where it came from, but I swear it was totally right—see?) In any case, it is a testament to our generation that we are essentially dumber than those who came before us, and it all goes down to being the generation that ex- pects everything to come easily and come now. Joel Stein talked about this problem in a recent issue of Time magazine. He talked speciﬁcally about how Gen Y can- not be bothered to save the planet (and we are technically members of Gen Y, but it‘s still diﬁicult because we technically cannot name a generation until the next generation has evolved). Now, before all ofthe MPIRG members get all het up. listen here: Stein said that we talk so much about being proac- tive and saving the planet and cleaning up the mess that the Baby Boomers have left us, but we are not mobilizing like our older generations. We are not putting the et’fon in. His opening line is, “I knew no one cared about the environment. I knew it because people keep telling me how much they care about the environment." This is true. This is so true, and honestly I think it speaks the same about the Oxford Comma. We are such a lazy generation. but man, do we talk a lot ofshit. Regardless of this generational mess, I implore you,Augs- burg students. to use the Oxford Comma in all of your written assignments, and prove to the rest of your peers that you are better than they, and they understand it because you used a damn Oxford Comma.
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Title: Augsburg Echo April 20, 2012, Page 05
Collection: The Augsburg Echo Collection
Search Result: Minneapolis, Minnesota s Opinions/Editorials ANYA CLEAVER Opinions initor Early last autumn. Occupy Wall Street moved to downtown Min- neapolis and took over Government Plaza. Little known to the greater Twin Cities population. it‘s still there. Less concentrated than before. Occupy MN has been...
Show moreMinneapolis, Minnesota s Opinions/Editorials ANYA CLEAVER Opinions initor Early last autumn. Occupy Wall Street moved to downtown Min- neapolis and took over Government Plaza. Little known to the greater Twin Cities population. it‘s still there. Less concentrated than before. Occupy MN has been mobile. and they are still attempting to make a noise. Protests have been held all over Minneapolis. on the light rail trains and its stations. and even on the steps ofthe Capitol in St. Paul. The Oecupy mot ement comes to Minneapolis after the locally infa- mous Jimmy Johns strike of 2009-10 where hundreds of workers across the Twin Cities decided to ﬁghtback after being denied sick days. among the smaller of the spread of issues faced. So. when I ﬁrst saw the Occupy . l was initially etCited. thinking this was the second coming for those of us not in the upper-middle class range. In any case. I was a little dis- appointed to ﬁnd that it was not as such. and the movement died down signiﬁcantly aﬁera few weeks. I was also dismayed to discoter the lack oflntemet presence. something that is almost vital to any type of rally. But. this is me splitting hairs~0n the whole. I am glad that Occupy MN came to he. and I‘m glad to see that it is continuing. regardless ofthc dwindling numbers willing to show MN movement begin to surfa up Wllh signs. I hope that it will see a rental in the summer months because if Jimmy Johns workers hate proven anything. it‘s that Minneapolitans are willing to put it all on the line to seek faimess. \tlstlli litvtthti’st unitiniititt I’lmt ‘ ItthlH sititlciits lititc ltct'n lt‘lltt\\|ll\ .mtl .liitiimciiimgi ittupt \l\ t.\k'lll\ Hth lllt. pact mnplc oi ttcclts \iti- tltiits lmxt Int-n .iltciiiliiig .|lltl Liking Mlltll‘ .ii \.tllii|ls ( iccimt \l\ t‘\Clll\ \lltll its nit-chum ttiih \lllle ntxipulis\l.itui R | Rtlxiknmichcx lli tlivtt lllii\\ n \llllllt..l[Vtill\. .llltl i’.illics .ll Ilict .ipiinl lll \t |‘.iiil l‘huiut ictht pliuii in \l.iii.i l \|‘lllt|\.l Probable Cause The Department of Public Safety Column Spring has oﬁicially spmng and has protided all of us the opportunity to enjoy the w'amt weather, the renewal or our natu- ral environment. and road con- struction. The second phase of the Riverside construction project has recently staned and will im» pact our community The construction project will focus on Rit erside Atenue from 13rd At enue South to Cedar At cnue. This phase will proceed in three stages from now until autumn. Dependent upon the stage. the Augsburg community will experience detours. trafﬁc delays. and increase on-campus name (including semi trucks and emergency t ehicles I. The City of Minneapolis ad- Vises tratelers to plan extra time for travel. and to expect delays and daily changes to traﬂic routes Detours and parking restriction will begin in April and updated driting and parking directions will be posted to the Augsburg College website. The ﬁrst stage is currently un- derway and is scheduled through late May. This stage includes the closure of the intersection at 19th A\ enue South and Rtt ersrde A\ enue A detour is in place that may impact access to the campus from the west. and trafﬁc being routed on Cedar At enue tow ard Franklin At enue and then unto 20th At enue South. The second stage )5 sched- uled to begin in late May and cons elude in September This stage will allow for a reconstruction of Riterside At enue from 22nd At enue South to Cedar At enue, Traffic will be restricted from this section on Rit crsidc At eniie. One intersection in the constriic» tion Zone will be open to allow trafﬁc to cross Riterside At enue. This intersection is at 20th At- enue South and will only allow trafﬁc to cross Rit erside At enue. trafﬁc will not be allowed to turn onto Riterside At enue from this intersection. During the second stage. access will also be restricted to Riverside Atenue from Cedar At enue Detours will be posted to route tralﬁc southbound on Cedar At enue tow ard Minnehaha. Trat - elers to the west Side ofAugsburg College may use northbound 20th Atenue South for access to campus Tratelers to the east side of Augsburg College may use eastbound Franklin At enue to northbound ZSth At enue South. The third stage is scheduled to begin in September and con» clude in Notember This stage will focus on the reconstruction of Riterside At enue from 21nd Atenue South to 23rd Atenuc South. Traﬂic will be restricted from this section of Riterside At enue during this stage. This stage will impact access to Augsburg College and street parking w ithin the campus: - Traffic around ’t‘lurphy Square Wlll be routed as two way trailic on 33nd Atenue South as well as on Butler Place between 22nd Atenue South and 23rd Avenue South I Parking around Murphy Square will be reduced and poten- tially eliminated on the west and south sides ofMurph) Square to accommodate the two way trallic - Parking on the south side of Butler Place will be eliminated from 23rd Atenue South to 25th At enue South ' The intersection at 23rd A\v enue south and Riterside At enue will be closed. The Department of Public Safety is amongst tarious other departments on campus that are in regular contact “Hit the ( iit ofMinnciipolisduringtlic \L'Uilltl phase (ii this ttiiistruction pl'tllt‘kl [t is our sharcd goal to niiniini/c the impact of this construction to the/\ugsburgfollcgc community by prot iding regular inl'oiniiititin and updates on Iltc L'ttllNllllt” tion pl’UJCLl l‘lease Cltcth the Augsburg website tut turtlicr information and updates on this project You may also contact the Department ol Public Strict) atiol2) 31071717 withany ques» tions or assistance Sta) Satc‘ James Shropshire II/utt‘ u qllt’tlltl/I fur l’u/i/n Sid/cl] (if u Iu/m Viuu Muir/(l /l/(U uddrt'twtl m Ilm (ll/[llllll ’ I’Ieutt' t IHllilt l .Iu/m't Vim/Ithuv a! thrupt/u'u quilt/rum l’t/(l II; iuhmll (lllllr int/um /
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