he Phil Adamo, still a clown? Augsburg College 41-) The College’s Student-Produced Newspaper MURPHY SQUARE ‘ . Murphy Square, 1928-2011 Friday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Volume CXVII, lssuc 8 As our readers may have noticed, today is April Fools Day. As always, we decided to celebrate... Show morehe Phil Adamo, still a clown? Augsburg College 41-) The College’s Student-Produced Newspaper MURPHY SQUARE ‘ . Murphy Square, 1928-2011 Friday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Volume CXVII, lssuc 8 As our readers may have noticed, today is April Fools Day. As always, we decided to celebrate by giving you an entirely farcical issue of the E cho. Please note that all of the content in this issue, including quotes and citations, have been made up by the writers and editors for this issue. Noth- ing printed here should be seen as the personal beliefs of the Echo or those who wrote them. If you have comments, questions, or concerns. please email: iversonr@ugsburg.edu or visit our website at www.augsburgecho. wardpress. com. DAWN OF THE HIPOCALYPSE Kncre LUCCHIN‘I Closet Hipster Today, on April I, Minneapo- lis Mayor R.T. Rybak announced his total evacuation plan for the City ofMinneapolis as well as its surrounding counties. Officials had been worried for months about the possibility of the hipster apocalypse or hipocalypse and the consequences it could have on not only the citizens but the city itself. “The city is under attack" said Mayor Rybak. “We must evacuate before H2H, Hipster too Human, infects all of our citizens." H2H, Hipster too Human, was discovered in early Septem- ber 2009. Ofi‘icials began seeing the crippling effects immediately. “Within weeks we could see the destruction it had on our city. Their bikes were everywhere,” said Chief of Police Timothy Dolan. “Some stacked two, three bikes tall. There dark rimmed glasses broken all over the streets. We even noticed increased sales in record stores and underground book stores." There were shocking reports of singing and guitar playing hap- pening on various street comers, as well as handmade flyers being passed out by the hipsters. The flyers had slogans such as, “Sweat- shops are death. . . man,“ “Save the baby Whales... dood,” and "Help make PBR cheaper.” Local resident, Gerda Johan- son, stated, “Ya‘ know, I went to some of those damn hipster things and I hate ‘em. The nasty things are always leaving at all hours of the night. The house always smells like a skunk and those darn cigarette butts are everywhere. Ya‘ know, I told my husband Frank to get out there and do something about ‘em, but the damn hipsters convinced him the buns were some OFFICIALS FEAR A VIRUS-LIKE. HIPSTER EPIDEMIC THAT COULD SWIPE THE TWIN CITIES “biodegradable hoopla.“ However, while many citizens fear for their lives, many support the H2H epidemic. Local liquor store owner, Marty Hodge stated, “I like the hipsters. They don't bother me none. Ya‘ know. I‘m always sold out of that there Pabst Blue Ribbon but I hear it’s ‘cool‘ with the kids. It took me a while to get used to the paying in quarters but the wife likes it so she can park downtown.” While some show their sup- port, Mayor Rybak and Tim Dolan are determined to end this epi- demic and save as many lives as possible. “The people of Minne- apolis think this is small pennies, but it’s not,” said Dolan. “It won’t be funny when the dam university Minneapolis officials have been worried for months about the possibility of the hipster apocalypse or "hipocalypse" and the consequences it could have on the city and its residents. shuts down because the kids all wanna go to art school. It won‘t be funny when Hard Times opens at another location, or two. We have to stop this now.“ The evacuation will take place Friday, April 8. Citizens are urged to take only necessities including clothes. foods, and valuables. However, police urge citizens to take all grandma clothing. vintage anything, and hard liquor or beer. “We are going to save this city and the fine citizens that call this home“ said Rybak. “Those damn hipsters don't scare me." Augsburg scraps science hall plans, plans even bigger fireworks show Mnce GALLAGHER Baseball Extraordinaire A source familiar with Augs- burg College’s budget and upcom- ing plans told me late Tuesday that, despite pleas by those with common sense, that Augsburg would be passing on the proposed construction of a new science hall and instead get “bigger and badder“ fireworks for next year‘s homecoming festivities. “You have to look at what fur- thering education really means," said the source. “Yes, a new science hall would serve a lot of practical purposes, but think of how many more fireworks you could acquire with a few million more dollars. Plus, fireworks have an immediate payofi‘, i heard a minor that said the science hall wasn‘t going to be done until the 22nd century.“ While Augsburg's reputation as a growing academic institution will be sure to take a hit, the office of the president released a state— ment defending the decision. “In this modern day, we as a college believe it is important to enthuse our minds of tomorrow. We also believe that as a Lutheran institution, at some point science and religion have to split since they don't really get along. Addition- ally, we believe that ifthe big man upsmirs had the technology we do in his time, he would‘ve taken full advantage of it. In this institution‘s collective mind, science is a thing of the past, while special effects and explosions will never go out of style. We are proud of the spur-the-moment impulsiveness ofthis decision, and look forward to showing the University ofMin- nesota that we may be smaller. but we can still be ballet." The last part of that mono- logue drew some confusion, but some light was later shed on the confrontational statement directed at the U. The planned upstaging ofthe roughly 60,000 student institution across the street seems to stem from an incident between Augs« burg President Paul C . Pribbenow and incoming University of Min— nesota President Eric Kaler. When Kaler was the president ofStony Brook University (N.Y.). Pribbenow was in New York tak- ing in a basketball game at the famous Rucker Park. Much like Pribbenow‘s philosophy. Kaler is determined to get involved in the community, and was having a picnic in Harlem with his constitu- ents. He spotted Pribbenow from across the way and instructed his posse to accompany him in ap- proaching Pribbenow. According to the story. Kaler tapped Pribbenow on the shoulder and Kaler asked him “are you giv- ing out free samples?" “I‘m not sure I know what you mean sir," said Pribbenow. Kaler persisted. insisting Prib- benow and his trademark bowtie resembled Orville Redenbacher and that he be granted a free sam- ple of his popcorn. "l am the president ofAugs- burg College Paul C. Pribbenow sir." he said. “And let me say I find your comments quite offensive." “Well come on Paulie." said Kaler. “The bowtie, the comb over, i would‘ve thought it was Halloween and you were passing out popcorn instead ofcandy." From then on the Pribbenow- Kaler feud has continued. and one has to wonder whether this fireworks display is just a per- sonal way for Pribbenow to exact revenge on Kaler. Whatever the reasoning may be. it looks as if Augsburg is headed in a direction that will be slightly less academic. and slightly more explosive. Show less
Page 2 News Minneapolis, Minnesota Lutheran Awareness Week to passive- aggressively encourage interest in Lutheranism JOEL MENK Lultjrisk Connoisseur Augsburg Campus Ministry is encouraging students to take part in ELCA Lutheran Aw areness \\'eek r\pt'll 4-“. Similar to the recent Muslim... Show morePage 2 News Minneapolis, Minnesota Lutheran Awareness Week to passive- aggressively encourage interest in Lutheranism JOEL MENK Lultjrisk Connoisseur Augsburg Campus Ministry is encouraging students to take part in ELCA Lutheran Aw areness \\'eek r\pt'll 4-“. Similar to the recent Muslim Awareness \\'eek. each day of Lutheran Awareness \\'eek will hav e a special Lutheran» inspired actn ity that students will be encouraged to participate in. Pastor Da\e \\’old said that “the idea behind Lutheran Aware- ness \\'eek is to educate the student body on what is quite frankly a wry misunderstood group of people. Did you know that the merage Augsburg student only knows the first si.\ words to ‘A Mighty Fortress Is Our God".‘" The \\ eek “I” start otT with "Actually Go To Chapel Day." w here students “I” be encour- aged to actually attend the daily chapel sen ice otTered by Campus Ministry. "So many students miss out on the rich cultural experience that the maroon Lutheran Book Of Worship has to ofl‘er." explained “old. The special chapel service will feature guest speaker Sven Oskcrvaard. a representative from the Lutefisk Dinner Preservation Society. Seating is limited. so stu- dents who wiin to sit towards the back should arrive early. Lutheran World Relief will be introducing their new fair trade coffee blend after the service. “brown water: made for the discerning Lutheran palate." Tuesday is “Talk Like A Lutheran Day." during which students will be encouraged to greet each other by saying “peace be with you." and "and also with you." Students who wish to ad- vance their Lutheran language skills are invited to a workshop at 3 p.m. in the Marshall Room hosted by guest Pastor Lars Jensen from Lindstrom. Wis. The workshop w ill focus on how to say “hear our prayer" with as little lip movement as possible, In observance of Lent, Wednesday will be "Don‘t Be Happy About Anything Day." “Many students observe Lent by giving up something: sweets. Facebook. alcohol. etc.“ said Wold. "We would like to invite students to take a day to really soak Editors-in-thef Becki lverson A&E Editor Betsy Collins Featurg FAitgr Sara Klemp News Editor Dave Madsen ()1inionx/lxlimrialt luglitor led (,4Iltt)\Cl' \portx ltdttur Mike (rallagher E—mail — ccho@augsburg.edu Phone — (612) 330-1102 reflect those ofthc ofthc students. :- subject to revision. appropriate. Augsburg College Echo Fall 2010 Staflr 73] 21st Avenue 5. CB 148 Minneapolis, Minnesota 55454 The Augsburg Echo is published each Friday —— except during vacation periods and holidays — by the students ofAugsburg College. Opinions expressed in H1: Ec/m are those of the authors and do not necessarily ' ustaff, ‘ ' ' The lie/m does not necessarily promote the products or services it advertises. Advertisements can be placed in the Echo by contacting the advertising manager. Suhmisstons are welcome and can be sent to uho@augsburg.edu. All submis— sions should be between 500-700 words and accompanied by the writer's name and contact Information. All submisswns become the property of the Echo and are The Echo reserves the right to edit submitted material because of space limita- tions. repetitive subject matter. libelous content or any other reason the editors deem Printed by l’rint Group Midwest on recycled paper. Sergio Montctrubio Mggg‘ng Elm; Becca Anderson Adi-grtising Manager CL ho@augtbutg.edu l'acultgy Advisgt Boyd Koehler Tips — echotips@gmail.com Fax — (612) 330—1666 faculty. ‘ or the ' ' in the deep somber mood that they should feel during all the weeks of Lent.“ Students who may be feeling too happy and wislt to be brought back down to earth are invited to screenings of Old YL’l/L’I' and Reqnit'mjbr a Dream that will be taking place throughout the day in the Century Room. Students are encouraged to bust out their favorite Norwegian sweaters on Thursday for “Dress Like A Lutheran Day." For stu- dents who may not have invested in a Norwegian sweater, Campus Ministry will be hosting a paint- your-own sweater party in the quad from I] a.m. —2 p.m. Blank sweat- ers as well as spray paints and rosemal stencils will be provided. The week will end with “Lu- theran Cuisine Day.“ From ll am. to l p.m.. students are invited to the East Commons to participate in an authentic Lutheran cooking demonstration. Campus Ministry has invited special guest chef Gladys Carlson to demonstrate how to make a complete meal while using a soup base in each dish. “When you are in college. it ~taAN~ ti WE can be diflicult to find foods that suit a palate that prefers for every- thing to be ‘creamy.’ My grandson goes to Gustavus. and he told me that their cafeteria serves salads made from the green leaves of it E fi‘;- plants instead ofpasta!" Carlson will also have a sign- ing/meet and greet in the library from 2pm to 3pm in promotion of her new book Jello: Reimagined. Bo Burnham to play SpringJam, insults your ailing grandmother "nan CONOVER 80's Fan 4ever Comedian and YouTube sen- sation Bo Burnham has returned to Augsburg without any son of invitation from anyone. "Look who‘s back, ass- holes?“ Burnham said. Burnham was last seen “tee- peeing" trees in Murphy Park and leaving flaming bags of dog excrement outside of the Depart- ment for Public Safety Office. Manically giggling to himselfand taping “I‘m with Stoopid” signs on people's backs even though no one was paying attention to him. Burnham vowed to perform at Augsburg‘s annual Spring Jam. “People love my jokes! Hey! Hey! What's the difference be- tween an Auggie and a feminist'.’... Auggics don‘t have hair on their backs!“ Burnham said to a group of students clearly not interested in anything he had to say. Students seem bemused at best when asked about the pres- ence ofthe comedian on campus. Organizers ofthe Spring Jam deny asking Burnham to perform. say- ing in a written statement “He kept asking ifl wanted to sleep over at his mom's house so we could watch Cinemax and drink Moun- tain Dew. i told him to ask Seth Lineard. Seth loves Mountain Dew and smutty television. But Seth's Mom didn‘t want him associating with a boy like Bo. Bad influence and all.“ When asked about his Mom‘s rule of“No Bo," Lineard said, “but mom!!" Several students were asked what they thought of Bumham‘s antics. Students cited his context in global hegemony and patriarchic politics. “His style of performance is a testament to how far we have to go to reach equality in this country,“ said Junior Sarah J ergenson. “Plus he‘s a poo-poo head and smells like, well. poo." Jergenson’s feel- ings on the subject arefairly wide- spread on campus. When asked about Bo, Presi- dent Pribbenow had this to say: “What's the difference between Bo Burnham and comedian Daniel Tosh7... Nothing. Show less
Friday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Page 3 Excerises Man hits ball with stick, hailed by onlookers DAVE MADSEN W13an In an impressive display of athletic prowess last Friday, student Mike Gallagher swung a large metal rod at an incoming ball constructed of both cork and cloth, which then... Show moreFriday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Page 3 Excerises Man hits ball with stick, hailed by onlookers DAVE MADSEN W13an In an impressive display of athletic prowess last Friday, student Mike Gallagher swung a large metal rod at an incoming ball constructed of both cork and cloth, which then sent the orb hurdling in the opposite di- rection from which it was originally thrown. In a fit of celebration, Gallagher ran in an extended, counter-clockwise motion as his peers clapped loudly to celebrate his hand-eye coordination and subsequent ability to connect the aluminum-alloy instru- ment with the rounded projectile. “Hooray,” an onlooker shouted as Gal- lagher finished his lap. “Your physical apti- tude excites me and the recently-increased number on the scoreboard afiirms my deci- sion to support this collection of players!” Prior to Gallagher’s swinging of the meter-long metallic pole, he and his peers donned matching outfits which signified the group’s solidarity against a rival col- lective of young men from a neighboring academic institution. Then, the troupe of athletes gathered around a diamond-shaped field as the opposing group of students fi'om the rival school sat on a nearby bench. One by one, a member from the non-Augsburg team attempted to defend himself, when opportune, from the aforementioned cork- cotton sphere. Afier enough time of throwing the ball and running around the grounds, the assem- bly of Auggies attempted to likewise hit the ball as the antagonizing team attempted to catch the ball in mid-air, throw the ball in the proper direction, or touch our students with the stitched, white orb. Surprisingly, those who attended the event did not appear bored or disinterested. Keith Bateman, faculty supervisor of Augsburg College’s collection of stick- swinging, ball-throwing students, was pleased with Gallagher’s performance on Friday. “Mike excelled in his effort to per- form at a high standard while remaining within the guidelines placed upon him by our division’s rulebook,” Bateman said. “Though pride for my students swells deep within me after this victory and the smell of a sweaty uniform afier a long and brutal The joy of cricket Corns STANHILL Law-Abiding Citizen Let me tell you something about cricket. “The game underwent major development in the 18th century and became the national sport of England," as They tell us. Another century passed and saw the advent of the county club system and the controversial ascent of overarrn bowling over the classical preference for roundarm (although the Isport goes as far back as Tu- dortimes when it was known as “fuzbaal"). It has since become a haven of wicket- wranglers, overarrn bowlers, loose men, bold women, roundarm revivalists, and liberal (“with a lower case ‘l,’ of course") values. Now let me tell you something about Contemplatives whose Perceptions have been Cleansed. “They do not have to stay in their rooms," as Huxley tells me. “The cricket- ers, on the Other Hand,” 1 can just see Aldy saying, ‘fcan stuff it.“ No amount of nervous scribbling on the back of my hand and humming frantically to Bowie’s “Heroes,” which had been on the radio this morning, could keep the Man from waxing loquacious about the need for an abandoning of the achievement principle to the abafi Freudo- Dialecticians and ego-mongers and supplant it, betimes, with contemplative satisfaction, unimpressed by “the pursuit of power or the drearier forms of pleasure.“ (Years later he would use that one in a fimny little pamphlet called “The Doors of Perception.“ But I always remembered it as | . ABE : vou I LOOKING AT? my own little souvenir of that mid-Spring picnic.) - As for the cricketers, they stuffed it and made way for real sports. Like professional wrestling. Like professional wrestling— Let me tell you two things about profes- sional wrestling. It’s a hardcore spectacle. "Hardcore," despite its common usage as an adjective, is in fact the only adverb in the English language without an adjectival derivation. Serendipitously, this colloquial adjectival usage has given the word a unique capability to turn nouns into verbs, in a deli- cate flourish fusing form to content, thereby betraying even more of its true meaning in the usage than in the definition. It describes. uncannin the feeling of contact with another man‘s ribs, through a solid inch of sinewy flesh. against the bare—skin bone of your own lefi knuckle. Pretty sure that‘s Webster‘s; might have been von Sacher—Masoch‘s. The other operative word in the phrase. adjudicably, was “spectacle.” This umbrella term encompasses Their vast arsenal of dis- tractions,‘ assurances and other soma. From the spectacle of advertising, which infiltrates both public and mental space. to aesthetic spectacle at the cinema (all of it anesthetic in effect). All of which serve to instill and perpetually reinforce false senses of reality, self-identification and experience on the masses in order to obscure the degradations of consumerist life. “it is not a collection of images, rather. it is a social relationship between people that is mediated by images,“ as Debord warbled to the oozing wretches. match reminds me of a time more simple, I must restrain myself from an extensive use of hyperbole; suffices to say, I am very happy with the outcome of our work as an independently-fueled yet singularly—focused cooperative.” Gallagher, who has been methodically perfecting the physical movements neces- sitated by this season-specific activity since he was a child, took his enormous triumph The overeager and strumptuous young men and women of the golden noughts would realize, within a two-decade. that the technocracy. having not only fully intemal~ ized, but henceforth projected back out the consumerists spectacle, resulting in the discreet manifestation of their self-defined and perpetually self-defining hyperreality. itself hermetically sealed from any physi- cal exoreality (their space colony‘s only imports being products part and parcel of the consumerist spectacle itselfand its only exports being crippling laissez-faire expec- torant). the elite have sealed themselves into a constant feedback loop which constricts upon itself toward a singularity - known ofhitting a ball with a stick in due stride. When asked how he managed the endeavor, Gallagher responded. “It‘s a relatively simple concept: I simply sought to maximize the force of contact between the stick and the ball through an efficient use of inertia. In order to do so. i had to determine torque—which is essentially the positioning of my arms to the aluminum rod as it relates to the angular velocity of the swinging movement—and the distance between the Contact point and the axis of rotation.“ “it‘s simple physics," Gallagher added. Reports from athletic sources indicated that Gallagher and his companions will again attempt to out-do another group of students from a neighboring Midwest col- lege next Tuesday. Though spectators are not guaranteed to witness the exact same feat of strength and coordination from Gallagher. there is speculation that at least one student from Augsburg will hit a ball with a stick and run around a section ofthe field. Plus, sources said, it‘s a great excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday afiemoon. as the spectre ofthe spectacle. it has been suggested that this ultimate homogenization toward a single unit of spectacular con- sciousness will explode in a second big hang from inside the already extant universe. and the meta—universe which emerges from the spectre ofthe spectacle shall be a single all- consuming and ever-expanding Cocafola adven. The other thing about professional wrestling is that “in order to score by pin- lall. a wrestler must pin both his opponent‘s shoulders against the mat while the referee slaps the mat three times (referred to as a ‘threc count').“ As They tell us. Show less
Page 4 Hems 8c Hcrws Minneapolis, Minnesota Echo opinions editor plagiarizes articles Conover later hired at Fox News TED Conover: Storyteller Ted Conover. opinions/edi- torials editor for the Echo is a hackneyed hack of a writer and boring to boot. Unable to think ofany original ideas for the... Show morePage 4 Hems 8c Hcrws Minneapolis, Minnesota Echo opinions editor plagiarizes articles Conover later hired at Fox News TED Conover: Storyteller Ted Conover. opinions/edi- torials editor for the Echo is a hackneyed hack of a writer and boring to boot. Unable to think ofany original ideas for the Joke Issue. he decided to shamelessly lift blog posts and Pitchfork Media one—liners into his section e copy and paste style. In an inteniew. I asked him what he thought the meaning ofirony was. “I think I know what that means." said Conover. “Doesn‘t it mean. like. rain on your wedding day. or something?" Conover‘s road to medioc- rity has been a long time coming. After submitting a piece on what he called the “fascinating dynam— ics of billboard manufacturing." editor Becki l\erson realized her opinions editor was a dud. lverson. Afier going over what college students think is funny over and over again. (for example. poop jokes. guys who yell “Don‘t taze me, bro!.“ Old Spice advertise- ments, and Keyboard Cat) lverson gave up and in no uncertain terms told her opinions editor he needed to spruce up on his popular culture. “Just go on the lntemet and learn what it means to be a col- lege student. College Humor, The Onion. anything! There‘s bound to be something funnier than what he could come up with. even on Al lazeera! Did this kid grow up un- der 3 rock or something?" lverson said. Taking his editor‘s advice as literally as possible. and with a stony look of grave seriousness (and with a bit of drool on his chin). Con0ver copied articles he thought would be funny. At first this had disastrous results. Unable to discern the sar- castic from the genuine (especially in print), Conover submitted pla- giarized articles he thought were jokes. such as “Rybakv to speak at Augsburg“ (“I thought we were in St. Pauli”). “Brett Favre to Retire" (“wait, I thought he pitched for the Yankees!“). and “Walker to Cut Teacher Positions“ (“I think I‘ve heard ofthese Chuck Norrisjokes before. . ."). But over time. Conover be- came more adept at ripping offar- ticles and printing them under his by—line. Finally. he found the right places to find articles he could plagiarize. However. he got in hot water when he tried to submit a serious. personal piece entitled “My Life as a Cameroonian Wife.“ Conover was recently ex- pelled from Augsburg for his jour— nalistic debauchery. but promptly landed a position with the Fox 9 Twin Cities as a writer. Conover, above, was caught plagiarizan articles in The Echo. Upon being expelled from Augsburg, Conover was Immediater hlred as a script writer for Fox News. “Billboards? Really?!“ said April fool’s COLLEGE STANHILL Arrgslvrugs Metonymnxis You may not want to hear it. but I love you. And you know who you are. And you know why you are. Why is anything? To be. That‘s the answer. the experiential infini- ti\ e. Augsburg, l l0\e you. Enough to lay \\ reaths ofballoon air: dripping love honey: at your footstep and bar the embearassment of your walking by and calling it all talk. You may not want to hear it. but it's all talk and it loves you. so faras you mum its aural arcane: Love love love. Love loves In love In ve. Lore can turn all things, and I can turn love inmfishes. Love is olher people. You are other people. Augsburg, and] [are you. That‘s why I brought some Emerson to share. I thought you may want to hear it. It‘s from Nature. "lfthe stars should appear one night in a thousand years. how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many genera— tions the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty. and light the universe with their admonishing smile." My greatest pleasure, On this holiday of chicanery and cynicism, would be for you to share with me forjust a moment in victimless delight at the wording ofJames Joyce, “The word of Mr Costello was an un- welcome language for him for he nauseated the wretch that seemed to him a cropeared creature ofa misshapen gibbosity born out of wedlock and thrust like a crookback tcethed and feet first into the world, which the dint of the surgeon‘s pliers in his skull lent indeed a colour to, so as it put him in thought of that missing link of creation’s chain desiderated by the late ingenious Mr Darwin." “What is the hypotenuse ofhyperreal- ity? What is the cosine ofhappiness? How does polar bears know what apples is?" you ask. I say, “Put it on the pizza and get I love you to living well!" You may not want to hear it, Augsburg. but We can love the numbers right out of you. Dig it. Augsburg. it’s a revolution! Dig it. Augsburg: Aldous Huxley! “What iris and rose and carnation so intensely signified was nothing more. and nothing less, than what they were — a tran- sience that was yet eternal life. a perpetual perishing that was at the same time pure Being. I continued to look at the flowers. and in their living light I seemed to detect the qualitative equivalent of breathing but ofa breathing without returns to a starting point. with no recurrent ebbs but only a repeated flow from beauty to heightened beauty." It’s a revolution. Augsburg. not out of resistance. mind you. but a revolution of love, revolting embrace. loving so many things so much that they soften under the mild pressure of persistent good vibes to be- come as malleable and remarkably remak- able. existence anew. Don‘t let Them make a fool ofyou this day! Have an unscheduled whirlwind romance with reality! My feet are as dry ice and I love you Augsburg, you understand. I feel in a state oflucid sanity. like I’m in sanity itself. I hope you like E.E. Cum- mings. “Bob Cowgill’s beard hair is longer than his real hair. Just saying." As Aaron Wells once told us. i love you: you: like I‘m insanity itself. Also, did you know the entire world could fit in Uranus and still leave plenty of room for gas? That’s how much I love you. On useless papers , and expired pringles‘ Dear Professor, I am an intelligent, educated individual with a wealth of ideas and a general openness toward learning and academic endeavors. That said, I cannot bear to complete your ridiculous assignment. . It is a four to five page paper assigned three weeks ago. I have sat down in an efl'on to work on it probably 15 times in the last week, and have been largely unsuccessful each time. Not only is the assignment uninteresting and unimportant, but it also is poorly described on the as- signment sheet which has led to hours and hours of aimless searching for the information you seem to be asking me to regurgitate for you. It is as if you are sending us off into a cave that is pitch-blacktofind' a needle you have hidden in a haystack somewhere in the back. This . unnecessary quest is something I do not appreciate. Instead of sufi'ering through this assignment. I have Facebook stalked people I don’t care about at all, instant messaged people I also don’t care about at all, web-surfed for nothing in particular, shopped online, downloaded music, watched. ‘ movies and bad television, drank absurd quantities of Diet Coke, Red Bull, and coffee, prepared several snacks and meals, smoked hookah, ate a Pringle that was “best sold by" May of 2009 (worst decision ever), applied for jobs, sent emails, wrestled with a dog, laundered clothes, deep-cleaned a kitchen, showered, beautified, contemplated other assign- ' merits, played for hours alone with a beach ball, and I even wrote this rant 1‘ in letter-fonn. All of it was more enjoyable than the time I have spent attempting to focus my mind on this ridiculous life-wasting assignment. In fact, instead of doing this assignment, I would probably rather eat an entire can of expired, 2009 Pringles or a carton of rotten eggs with .' curdled milk, shave off my eyebrows, cut off a toe or two, run 75 miles through the Gobi desert, avoid Diet Coke for 5 years, starve myself for a month, abstain from listening or playing music for a month, give up my driver’s license and all of my fieedom in general so...be locked in a tower for months, and I would probably consider giving up my first. born child if it’s a boy. - Unfortunately, I will not give up my degree or my graduation deadline of May. Therefore, I will suffer through channeling the mental fortitude of chess champions, Harry Potter, and the religiously oppressed. I Will stay up all night tonight and all night tomorrow because I have spent- three weeks doing everything but this assignment and it must get done. So professor, I hope you are happy, and I hope you sleep well tonight H while I slave away. . t. Warmly, Lindsey Grafl‘ Show less
Friday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Hems 8: Haws No change in the Echo} administration Iverson to remain as editOr-in-chief for the foreseeable future Augsburgians, I have an announcement to make. As many of you might be aware, I am nearing the end of my third consecu— tive year as... Show moreFriday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Hems 8: Haws No change in the Echo} administration Iverson to remain as editOr-in-chief for the foreseeable future Augsburgians, I have an announcement to make. As many of you might be aware, I am nearing the end of my third consecu— tive year as editor-in-chief of the Echo. I have approached this looming date with I foresee my career path as one that benefits everyone it affects. and I am much fear and trepidation, and I think I have found a solution to the problem of attempting to locate my replacement next year. While many people might view three consecutive years editing a student produced newspaper as an absurdly long tenure, I beg to differ. My institutional knowledge and journalistic skills are impeccable, and I think the newspaper and proud that I have chosen a life that will never leave the hallowed halls ofAugsburg College. There is not much to discover off campus, anyway. I appreciate the support readers have given me over the years, and I am sure the overwhelming accolades the Echo constantly receives will continue as long the school will only be helped by having more of the same in the future. It is for this reason that I will be remaining as editor-in-chief of the Echo for as long as I like. It’s a tough world outside of my institutional cocoon, and I simply don‘t feel like expending the effort it will take for me to be hired in a ‘real job.’ (Not that] could get hired anywhere anyway. If Brian Krohn has to go to graduate as I am here. Ifthings go as well as I hope. I might even start running “borrowed” articles from other papers alongside ours without accreditation, just to see if read- ers can tell which is which. If anyone has questions or suggestions for ways to improve the newspaper school to put off paying back his loans, there is no hope for the rest of us). I have decided not to consult anyone else on making this decision. It is im- Cheers. portant to have a unilateral, pseudo-totalitarian vision for a student organization, and I feel making this choice on my own is the only way to go about it. The Echo can lead all other students on campus by example in this respect from here on out. Continuing my position as editor-in-chief is also a solution to the Echo‘s chronic lack of participation. The more warm bodies we can get to participate in our escapades, the better As long as I don‘t have to worry about things like show- ing up to class and doing homework anymore, 1 will have much more fi'ee time to force English majors into self constructed cages in the Echo office to pump out articles for my journalistic machine. (Rand Engllsh professor Robert Cowglll asserts that Stanhtll's pants represent “a worrying current at antl-lntellectuellsm spreadan across college campuses that needlemly rejects great classics, such as the tweed locket, In favor ct empty and superflclal pleasures such as comfort." Becki Iverson Eternal Editor, Augsburg Echo (other than article sharing and reprinting previous work) in the future. please feel free to contact me at my personal email address (echirson4evaz@paragonofmc- diocrity.com) or stop by the Echo office. which will double as my apartment as long as I remain without a real job. President Obama, Lady Gaga, and the Ghost of Al- len Ginsberg Vow to Fund Murphy Square Forever BRIANNA OLSON-CARR Looking For A lab Word of the famous Murphy Square literary and visual arts journal getting decommissioned has spread like wildfire these past few weeks. Hundreds of students have been pounding on the doors of the Auggie's Nest demanding: “WHAT DO WE WANT? ART! WHAT DO WE WANT IT? COM- MISSIONED!“ President Barack Obama could hear the cries ofthe Auggies all the way from Wash- ington. He sent a public address to the college, or “State of the Augsburg": “As you know, I‘m from Min- nesota. I once spent a long week- end at Mall ofAmerica and lkea. But seriously. I want to address the decommissioning of Murphy Square: it's no secret that those of us here have had our differences over the last two months. The debates have been contentious; we have fought fiercely for our beliefs. And that's a good thing. That's what a robust democracy demands. However, six people in a room who have not heard of such an incredible literary work as Murphy Square need to get out of the Christensen Center basement! 1, President Barack Obama, will personally see to it that Murphy Square is read all over the nation." This overwhelming national support for Augsburg‘s literary journal caught the attention of international superstar. Lady Gaga. She wrote to President Pribbenow to encourage self—expression in the face of“The Man“: “You're on the right track. baby, you know? It‘s all about the art. I sing an. I wear an. I am an. You know. you can promise you‘ll be kind, but you won't stop until you have the funding. Hey, I‘m your biggest fan. 1‘" fund you ‘cuz you all love me. And because I love the arts." The support from Lady Gaga had Aug- gie‘s noses pressed up against the windows ofthe printer for Murphy Square, which has been personally overseen by Bill Keller. the execu- tive editor for The New York Times. Ted Conover, editor-in-chief of Murphy Square said of working with Keller: “He‘s a pretty okay guy. He had a couple good ideas for thejoumal. I mean. it‘s not the same because he‘s not part ofthe Murphy Square cult. He refuses to get the required tattoo of Bob Cowgill‘s Ray-Bans on his thigh. But yeah, he‘s um..,nice." Murphy Square commotion even brought back Allen Gins- berg frorn his grave. Ghost Allen Ginsberg. or as he prefers to be called now, Ghostberg, \owed to inten‘upt all future Commissioning Committee meetings by shouting uncomfonablc poetry about mas- turbation for the rest of all time. He has been whispering in the ears ofProfessor Doug Green and sprinkling demons down his turtle- necks. Green reported Ghostberg's intentions to haunt any Senator. and their extended social network, who does not want to commission Murphy Square. Obama, Gaga, and Ghostbcrg have made themselves clear: they plan to fund Murphy Square FOR- EVER. Show less
Page 6 Variety Minneapolis, Minnesota Augsburg ultimate frisbee team releases most widely renowned lit mag in Augsburg’s history BETSY COLLINS 7i:th Frisbee As an English major involved in the art community. I‘m fairly \ ested in the creativ e endeavors of my peers. [n the wake of Murphy Square... Show morePage 6 Variety Minneapolis, Minnesota Augsburg ultimate frisbee team releases most widely renowned lit mag in Augsburg’s history BETSY COLLINS 7i:th Frisbee As an English major involved in the art community. I‘m fairly \ ested in the creativ e endeavors of my peers. [n the wake of Murphy Square Iv I.\ISr]) untimely and hor— rific death. I thought that l. and the campus as a vvhole. \\ ould lack this opportunity. No longer would I be able to access the creative writing and art of the people I‘ve been educated alongside. Fortunately. a new lit mag has stepped up to fill .lISq It void. The majesty and sheer bril— liance of The Flyer. the recent publication from Augsburg‘s own ultimate frisbee team. eclipses Murphy Square once and for all. and makes me confident that it has been an utter and complete waste of money for the past 82 years. Money that could be getting local rap groups to play on campus. Where .‘Ilu'pltt Square failed. The F/lcl‘ succeeds. The high vis— ibility ofthis commissroned orga- nization has allowed full campus in\ol\ement. ln fact. at least one submission front each and e\ er_\ Augsburg day student is show cased in tltegioumal because of this. After all. only student orgs \\ ho eng it the entire campus should be guaranteed any FRED TORVIK .-\lllt‘fl(tlll Post» Tii'ecn "Friday". by Rebecca Black. sprung forth from the depths of \ouTube purgatory into the \\ est- ern cultural lesicon a mere si\ tortnights prior to the time of this \\ riting. _\ et young Black laged l3) seems as though she \\ ere always intended to be here. During the last great wave of American Post-T“ een. Britney Spears. Jessica Simpson. and Man- dy Moore came Closer to discov er- ing the flawlessly studio-polished opus than previously thought possible. Yet. e\en the seemingly almighty Spears failed to meet the demands ol‘the discerning public. which expected nothing short of absolute Disney Lab perfection. Spears. who was tragically force—fed to Kevin Federline in 2004. seemed to many proof enough that the Lord your God hath prohibited such a force from entering earth. Nonsenscl, I say, for now. we have Rebecca Black. Listening to the singular, fo— cused sound of Black‘s voice, one can hear an artist who‘s arrived fully-formed: free from the con- straints of “tone-color.“ resolute in her commitment to the only six notes she deems worthy ofher singing, and above all. devoid of true investment in anything save basking in the weekend‘s delicious inception. The true. rib-crushing weight funding. While Murphy Square only highlighted students with a vested interest and aptitude for writing and art. The F/yer has compiled a completely avant garde manu- script. Quality be damned. Conti- nuity be damned. Recognition be damned. The real art is contained in the fact that there is no art. No organization. No thoughtful cura- tion. In the end. everyone's a loser because everyone‘s a winner. Content ranges from thought- ful tweets from Twitter Major Joel Menk “Check out this meme. dude." to a 3 second clip ofa Fris- bee toss from the ultimate frisbee team‘s own Ben Krouse-Gagne slowed down to eight minutes titled. “Poetry in Motion,“ Poetry it is. Ben. Poetry it is. My favorite piece is a cell phone photograph by Alex BischolT with his thumb obscuring the lens. I guess itjust really makes me think about life. and stuff. The most radical thing about the lit mag is the form, Though The Flyer got the full surplus of the frisbee team‘s yearly al- lotted budget trougth 310.000 after all of those new frisbees) the team decided against con- tinuing the leg ‘y of the printed book. t'Cause. like. books are dead. man). Instead that ten grand of the song isn't readily apparent unless listened to in conjunction with the music video. which \tasn‘t directed by Francis Ford Coppola or D.W. Griffith to ho are currently collaborating on Jack ll. starring Chris Tucker and Jackie Chart.) The \ideo begins with RC- becca Black opening her eyes. ris~ ing spriter at 7:00am. l'ler energy flows freely upon reentering cogni- /ance. and she greets the sixth day of the Babylonian calender week with a vigor resen cd henceforth for‘gettin‘ do“ n" and hay Ing “fun fun fun fun.“ 133.33 percent more fun than the Beach Boys ever had.) Her tenacity must be conserved. for immediately upon waking up. the day‘s responsibilities impose themselves. She‘s gotta be fresh. gotta go downstairs. She‘s gotta have a bowl. and what‘s more. she‘s gotta have cereal, Cereal! By the time she gets to the bus stop. she sees her friends, and we see a glimmer of happiness in a face that had previously been smiling only in its acute aware- ness ofwhat was expected of her. As her friends arrive (just in time for an evenly rounded first verse to end), Rebecca casually ponders the merits of kickin’ in the front seat and chillin' in the back seat. And now, with a wry, knowing smile, Black, fully aware the only open seat is the middle in back, asks her listeners to place her wherever they‘d have her. The Flyer, a publlcatton from Augsburg's Ultlmate'Frlsbee team ‘ "Friday’j or, Rebecca Black sings about you not being important because life is unfair With that, the video cuts to a gleeful Black, surround by thirteen year-old friends and drivers (hope- fully!) Again. slie‘s “gotta get down," what with it being Friday and all. but having accepted her place in the car (as though THAT isn‘t a metaphor for her social dichotomy) she seems at ease with her obligations. Before you know it, the video is a whirlwind ofstanding in convertibles. outside concert/parties, and a guest rapper, Chuck D, who can rhyme and drive at the same time. ln the video, Chuck seems without a care. His flow is effort- less, revealing the influence ofhis longtime partner Flava-Flav. Also smacking of Sir Flav is the levity with which Chuck tackles his sub- ject matter. Gone is Black Panther who once spat fire over beats by The Bomb Squad. Here, Chuck is at ease, by himself, balancing serenity and enthusiasm in a way only someone unconcerned with their spot in a car can. As the focus shifts back to Black. we see now her struggle. Her proclamation, “Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!” rings false. We see -her. fully aware of her week's shortcomings, snider reveling in the adoration of her peers, who remain unaware of the Black‘s solidified emotional disconnect. With each chant of. “Friday, Fri- day, Gotta get down on Friday“ Black courts contradiction. There’s went straight to paying for their domain name (wwaitmagdude. com) and web hosting for exactly one year. “Not only is it green or something,“ says Krouse-Gagne of the decision, “but it also speaks to the imperrnanence of life too, ya know? Think about it.“ I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, actually. Never would Murphy Square been able to foster such a beautiful idea of a temporary website that will never be accessable to our children or the future in general. While MSq wasted its time trying to make an important contribution to Augs- burg as an institution, The Flyer is more concentrated on Facebook promotion. I hear they’ve gotten thirty-five thousand hits on their website so far. Website hits are where the future of literature lies. If Murphy Square wants to get its funding back (and its good reputation with former fans who are now faithful Flyer followers) it should concentrate more of its effort and budget on those web hits. I mean. why read a book when you can just google it, right? So shake in your boots. Murphy Square. and ask yourselfthis before you apply for any more funding » How many of those intemet website visitor hits did you get this year“? an unmistakable crucifying mirth in her gaze that asks the viewer, “What else are you going to do on your day off, you sad, lonely little man?!” I regret never having realized the extent to which the very idea of a Friday highlights the time in our lives spent pathetically slav- ing away. Friday, our perennial dangling carrot, leads us into the abyss week-by-week, promising (falsely) that escape lies in dis- traction. Rebecca Black is keenly aware of this at 13, and I, hav- ing never given Thursday, Bratz Dolls, or Jamba Juice any serious thought, eagerly await her next release. Show less
Friday, Ap 1, 2011 i Minneapolis, Minnesota Page , Variety Novel mash-up is book of the century KACIE Luccrmn Still NotA Hipster This past weekend I read the book of a lifetime. I hate to drill this point home but of the 20 something books I’ve reviewed for the Echo, of the hundreds of books I’ve... Show moreFriday, Ap 1, 2011 i Minneapolis, Minnesota Page , Variety Novel mash-up is book of the century KACIE Luccrmn Still NotA Hipster This past weekend I read the book of a lifetime. I hate to drill this point home but of the 20 something books I’ve reviewed for the Echo, of the hundreds of books I’ve read for fun, this book is literally the most amazing book that has ever been written. The Harry Potter Girl with the Twilight Tattoo written by J.K. Rowling, Steig Larsson. and Stephanie Meyer is a classic novel that will go down in history for its literary merit, entrancing plot line, and unforgettable char- acters. The novel opens with Sella Bawn getting a magic letter from Warthogs College in some sketchy town in England. Sella, not being especially smart, accepts the letter because it‘s the only college she can get into. As she arrives, Sella begins to experience a lot of things. Other peers at her college judge her for the heart shaped scar on her for- head. the one she gave to herself afier falling madly in love with Edwardo Cullenito. Sella however is determined to overcome the heartbreak she feels for Edwardo by using her photographic memory to solve murders and catch rapists. However, complications arise when Edwardo shows up at Wart- hogs. Sella is torn between her feelings for Edwardo and her feelings for her female professor Mucwango. Professor Mucwango is a confident determined woman who thinks she is a cat while Ed- wardo is a dark, emo high schooler who thinks he is 250 years old. As the love triangle begins to build, Sella must also deal with her dark past: a father that is a creepy old cop/mobster who is trying to kill her. a mother who keeps visit— ing her in mirrors. and old friends Battle: Los AWESOME Iosu SIBLEY Stafl Writer Battle: Los Angeles is more than just a movie: it’s an experi- ence. This isn’t just the Citizen Kane of alien invasion flicks — it's the best science fiction film of all time. Despite what the title sug- gests, this film is so much more than a battle in LA; it’s a character study of how people deal with the annexation of one of America’s gleaming cities. The film starts out in a battle over LA in which we get a sense of how spine-chilling, and ma- levolent the aliens really are as they shoot at our heroes in a helicopter. The extra terrestrials in Steven Spielberg’s film used lasers to incinerate people and then harvested their blood and used it to change the Earth. That was all too far-fetched and “out there” in Battle: LA — the space men use machine guns. Machine guns surgically attached to them. It’s a moment of genius from the film’s writers. By giving them a weapon that we have, there is no way we could stop them. The film‘s greatest strength is the writing. Our heroes are all marines and thefilm avoids cliches and gives us Christopher Nolan levels ofexposition. Each charac- ter is so well drawn out and written that you feel like they could be a real person. Like Aaron Eckhart's character Captain...well his name eludes me right now, but we feel for him and his goals that he can't achieve because of the invasion. They story is not predictable in the least bit. It surprised me when they defeated one of the mother ships with a single mis- sile and disabled all of the flying drones. You would think that it would take a nuclear bomb or something to destroy the spaceship of that size, but that’s the genius of the writing keeping us on our toes. The cinematography is so glamorous and bewildering that it brings tears to my eyes just reflect- ing upon the sheer magnificence of the actions sequences. The open- ing battle sequence in Saving Pri— vate Ryan looks like child‘s play compared to any battle in Battle: LA. The camera shakes so much it gives us the sense that we are who try and convince her that she can use a piece of wood to make books float (wingardium leviosalt. Love, drama, and magic all culminate in this timeless classic you won‘t be able to put down. 1 know 1 could barely follow the plot. none the less drop the book! This is surely a book that genera- tions will be talking about. getting tattoos for. and keeping Hot Topic in business, 1 would like to dedicate this article to the best former Hot Topic employee. as well as my favorite editor for The Echo. Betsy Collins, EAITLEiUSANtELEs in the war with the otherworldly- machine-gun-wielding-beings. The editing really nails the pace of what an actual crusade against aliens would be like: total chaos. While most people would experi- ence epileptic seizures due to the fast cuts and vertiginous camera, the cinephiles will ardor the real- ness the battles have. You can’t enjoy Battle: LA like you would any normal piece of cinema —— you have to live it. Visually it‘s the decade's best film and on a the large scale ofcinema history it will be revered as a clas» sic and will take it‘s place among The Wizard of Oz. Casablanca, The Godfather and Star Wars. This is not a movie that will be forgotten easily. It shakes you to your core and reminds you of what it feels like to be human. Usually I would give a star rating but stars are not worthy enough to rate Battle: LA. It is above the stars. Bro in quad learns chords to Jason Mraz classic, female students adore in droves DAVE Manson Asshole A totally chill sound emanated from steps of Christensen Center last Thursday as senior student Aren Olson reportedly learned the chord progressions for the 2001 hit, “Body is a Wonderland“ by famed singer John Mayer. As Olson jammed out the simple. sen- sual melody, a few pre-tanned girls sporting Ugg boots, jeggings, and fluorescent headbands reported: “Omigod, 1 love that song!" Olson chose the song upon successfully learning the 2005 Jack Johnson song, “Better Together" and—according to sources—he needed another slow. acoustic ballad in order to seduce drunken sophomores at the various parties in Anderson. Olson appropriated the commercially successful song in his signature style of working in certain women‘s names as they passed by him. The latest ad-lib: “One mile to every inch of/your skin like porcelain/one pair of candy lips and/your bubblegum tongue, Molly Dunne." ‘ The public response has been mixed since Olson debuted his hit cover of the Mayer tune. While many female students have adored hearing the familiar, “really cute" song on their way to the gym, a few renegade Music majors have scoffed at his attempts to give new life to the Grammy-winning single. “I remember when music used to have integrity,“ senior Fred Tor- vik said as he passed by Olson’s virtual mating call of a perfor- mance. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go listen to more Animal Collective.“ Torvik was later seen wildly air-drumming to the neo- psychedelic, nonsensical tracks of Mem'weather Post Pavilion. Other art students have reject- ed the student musician’s attempt to woo his female counterparts. “That guy is a creep,“ reported senior Natalya Flaten. “He once told me that he wanted to ‘swim in a deep sea ofblankets‘ with me. I think I threw up in my mouth a little." Even Prof. Bob Cowgill joined the hate as he flicked a half-smoked cigarette at Olson as the guitar~strumming bro finished the third verse. “Honestly, I don’t give a shit about that song he‘s singing.“ Cowgill said. “1 just needed to get back at him for stealing the spotlight from me: where else am 1 going to receive fruitful glances from young. art-obsessed college girls?“ However, as evidenced by the sheer amount of delighted. audible gasps from the women ofAugsburg, Olson‘s song hasn‘t gone without his praise. Junior Daley Konchar Farr re- ported. “Even though Aren doesn‘t appeal to my rich appreciation for new-wave, post-punk instrumenta- tion. there’s something about his raspy voice. his piercing gaze . . . it‘s delicious.“ Junior Lily Morris couldn‘t help but to lay on a patch of grass near Olson as he slid into Mayer‘s refrain. ln hopes of making eye contact with Olson. Morris bobbed her head in time with each “Ba ba dup ba da da da“ the dreamy senior cranked out. The efforts of Morris were ultimately crushed as Lindsey Graffdeclared Olson hers by throwing an ample amount of elbows at whoever made eyes at the young singer—songplayer. “Get back. you harlots," Gratf screamed as she brandished a broken hockey stick at the nearby women ofAugsburg. “This man is mine!“ Olson declined to comment. but when asked about where he sees his musical career going in the future. he simply smirked and re- peatedly slid his right index finger in and out ofhis loosely clenched lefl fist. A-List BE‘I‘SY COLLINS Things 6- Stufl Friday, April 1, 10:10 a.m.-10:40 a.m. Augsburg Interpretive Dance: Dance with Jesus during Chapel! Price: Free Saturday, April 2, 7 pm. Colin Stanhill reads one poem in the Quad, then leaves The Quad, duh Price: $80 Sunday. April 3, 8 pm. Creepers: A telephoto lens photography exhibit Somewhere in Uptown. srsly Price: Your soul, or your first born child (You choose!) Monday, April 4, 9 pm. Weekly Whiners (and wine-ers!) Come get drunk and listed to acoustic emo music Acadia café Price: Free cover, pay for your own damn wine Tuesday, April 5, 5 pm. A selection of terrible lo- cal high school bands Early show so musicians can get home for bedtime 400 Bar Price: $5 Wednesday, April 6, 6 pm. Yoga, Yogurt, Yo-Yos, Yo! Movement Arts Center Price for one class (Yoga OR Yogurt OR Yo-Yos): $40 Price for the series: $140 Friday, February 31, 2012 Lecture Series: The Pretentious Art Object Walter Arch Center Price: Free for hipsters $114 Show less
Page 8 The Back Page Minneapolis, Minnesota Friday, March 11, 2011 Tips to fight winter weather skin SARA KLEMP Fcamres Editor Winter weather is hard on our minds and bodies. and many ofus are literally itching for spring. Cold and dry air leaves skin dry. itchy. inflated. and sometimes totally... Show morePage 8 The Back Page Minneapolis, Minnesota Friday, March 11, 2011 Tips to fight winter weather skin SARA KLEMP Fcamres Editor Winter weather is hard on our minds and bodies. and many ofus are literally itching for spring. Cold and dry air leaves skin dry. itchy. inflated. and sometimes totally unbearable. Though ads for fancy lotions and body washes make many peo- ple think that one must spend big bucks to get products that relieve these symptoms. there are several budget-friendly things one can do to combat uncomfortable winter skin. - Washing in super hot showers or baths may feel amazing after coming in from the cold. but hot water actually causes drier skin afiera wash than lukewami or cool water. Also. it is better to bathe less in winter months. Soap also dries skin and hair. and showering everyday can definitely lead to more irritated skin. - Some say that a way to fight dry skin is to drink plenty of water. While this is a healthy choice. it will not necessarily help with winter skin. If your body is dehydrated. your skin will also become dry. but if you keep hydrated or over hydrate. your skin will not reveal much of a dilTerence. For skin. water is best taken in through soak- ing in the skin. ' Afier showers. pat your body damply dry but do not over do it. Moisturizers work better when applied to damp skin rather than fully dried skin. Moisturizer helps hold water in the skin. and being a little wet when applying it traps in more water. - According to Howard Donsky. MID.. associate profes- sor at the University of Toronto. nothing works better as a winter moisturizer than petroleum jelly or mineral oil. Also. for those who are not opposed to feeling a little extra greasy. basic vegetable oil or hydrogenated oils, like Crisco. actually work well as moisturizers. They are safe and inexpensive lubricants that double as cooking tools and skincare goods! - Humidifiers are great to have on during wintertime. Winter weather is less humid than summertime. and less humidity in the air makes our bodies feel dry. Keeping one by the bed. couch. homework desk. or anywhere else you can have one will help add a little humidity to the air and keep moisture in the skin. - Oatmeal is a great heal- ing agent for dry. irritated skin. Adding a few cups ofcolloidal. or finely ground. oatmeal to a luke- warm bath sooths skin. leaving it feeling moisturized and less itchy. Colloidal oatmeal can be feund at nearly any pharmacy. - Use “superfatted” soaps during winter months to moisturize skin while washing. Drying soaps like Dial or Ivory oflen contain lye, which is great for cleaning but not for moisturizing. Brands like Dove or Neutrogena are superfat- ted. which means they have higher amounts of super fatty substances in them like coca butter, coconut oil and cold cream. Kick the can to the curb: The truth about soda SARA KLEMP FCAIIIIITS Editor Can‘t start your day without cracking open a mountain dew? Always substitute lunch forjust a diet coke? Though its common knowl- edge that soda is not the healthiest drink choice. it is often a go—to drink for many college students. According to an article in the lan/imgiuii I’mi. soda accounts for one-fourth of all the be\ er- .iges consumed in the US. which equates to at least one lZ-ouncc drink per day b) may citizen. While these statistics show that man) will continue to drink soda regularly throughout life. no\\ is a better time than e\ er to break the habit. Here are a few reasons w h) to kick soda to the curb: Sugar Overdosing Soda is one ofthe easiest \\ ays to heatily increase your sugar intake without realizing it. In a study featured on MS— NBCcom. most adults in this country consume 22 teaspoons of sugar daily. As the recommended amount for women is six teaspoons and for men is nine teaspoons. that is way more than what is healthy. Even worse. teens are consuming 34 teaspoons daily. which is more than 5 times the daily recom- mended amount for women and more than 3 times that for men. Sugar is hard for many people mama klems@ausbur.edu . to avoid. but one major way to reduce sugar intake is to cut soda from your diet. On average. regular fla- \ored soda contains about eight teaspoons added sugar. Often times. people drink more than one throughout the day. While sugar itself may not register as having a high fat con— tent by itself. your body may treat it as though it does, The liver converts glucose molecules into triglycerides. or fat molecules. Although everything we eat is converted into these molecules. our bodies benefit from other nutri- ents in healthy foods unlike soda. which has no nutritional benefits and is mostly made of sugar and flavorings. Heavy sugar intake leads to greater risk ofobesity and Type-2 Diabetes. as well as tooth decay. INTERESTED IN WRITING A FEATURE? Contact our Features editor. Sugar also causes a short energy spike. or“sugar high." which fades into a crash within an hour or so. If energy is what you‘re looking to gain from soda. there are other drinks that can give your body energy and are sugar free. Obviously. coffee and tea are two great alternatives to sugary soda (unless you can‘t stand the taste of either without adding loads of cream or sugar). Brewed cofi‘ee contains 95~200 milligrams of caffeine per 8-ounce sewing, while your average soda has about 25—30 milligrams. Black tea also contains high caffeine content. coming in at 40-l20 milligrams per 8-ounce serving. and green tea contains about 25 milligrams per 8-ounce serving. Coffee and tea also contain certain antioxidants and other nutrients that are beneficial to the body. While these are healthier alternatives. be aware that drinking too much caffeine on a daily basis can lead to dependencies and other health issues. Bone Weakening In a study conducted at Har— vard University. researches con- cluded that teenage girls who regu- larly drink soda are at a three-times higher risk ofbone fracturing than those who do not drink soda. The study suggests that drink- ing two or more cans a day can lead to this weakening. This occurs because soda contains phosphorus acid. which impedes calcium metabolism and building of bone mass. Adolescence is a prominent time in bone development. and girls have a slightly different structuring process than boys. The study does not conclude why this difference in development occurs. but it does prove that girls need to be especially aware of their bone health. While it may not matter much in one’s college years, women's bone mass begins to decline dur— ing menopause. Getting enough calcium in one‘s diet is crucial to healthy bones later in life, espe- cially for women. The skeleton is the inner core of one’s body, and without it. one could not exist as a healthy, fully functioning human being. Be good to your inner self. especially you ladies! Word Find Stroke Risk Recently, CBS News pub- lished a story that revealed a con— nection between diet soda drinkers and heart health. According to the article, people who drink diet soda on a regular basis are more likely to suffer a stroke or heart attack than those who do not drink soda. The study followed 2.564 people who drank diet soda every day and concluded that these drinkers had a 61 percent higher risk of “vascular events.“ Though it is better to choose diet over regular soda. the addi- tives in it definitely do not truly make it a healthy choice. Some- thing interesting to note about diet coke is that in 2007. an additive called sodium benzoate, or E21 1, was removed from the recipe due to studies that showed it correlated with DNA damage and hyperactiv- ity in children. Today, most diet sodas contain aspartame, an artificial sweetening agent. and high levels of sodium, and these things can lead to a higher craving of carbohydrates and weight gain. Next time you opt for “light lunch“ of diet coke and low-fat pretzels, perhaps you should think again. LZVDDZR NIRISHJ VUSSVUF LXAANCQ NGKHTEZ RELKCKC PKESDEX HXSRSTR YASIGEO EERI EZN KKGPZZE SHKCIRE IOEWARR HPRLQLF WCDXDQI NCKWEEMV FEQYQQNO AMJBLZYJ UTCITLEC MPATRICK ORMAHSGF BNILBUDV LFMEEGHR PELTYDHM MEDGNVDQ NDLAXIJW MILQFDAL SEUSUAXS R'NBGQCLZ YJDRUCCF IRELAND GREEN LIMERICK CELTIC GUINNESS SAINT PATRICK SHAMROCK LEPRECHAUN DUBLIN IRISH EMERALD EIRE HARP WHISKEY Show less
EECHO llic \iigxliiirg College Stiitlcni Nt:\\\p.|pcr Friday, April 10, 2015 Volume CXXI, Issue 19 Minneapolis, Minnesota The wheels on the ACTC bus no longer go ’round and Blair Stewi , Staff Writer On May 22, the Associated Colleges of the Twin Cities (ACTC) bus service will no longer be... Show moreEECHO llic \iigxliiirg College Stiitlcni Nt:\\\p.|pcr Friday, April 10, 2015 Volume CXXI, Issue 19 Minneapolis, Minnesota The wheels on the ACTC bus no longer go ’round and Blair Stewi , Staff Writer On May 22, the Associated Colleges of the Twin Cities (ACTC) bus service will no longer be running, meaning students, staff and faculty will be taking their last trip on this bus before it stops its services forever. The bus service has served the Augsburg, Hamline, Macalester, St. Catherine’s and St. Thomas campuses since the 19705. At the time, this shuttle service was needed as there were few alternative transportation options for students who travelled between ACTC campuses. The closing of thisbus service is due to the introduction of new, affordable and sustainable transportation options introduced around the ACTC campuses. ’round With the Green Line, newly improved bus routes, and car and bike-share programs, more and more ways for students from different campuses to travel to and from other campuses are accessible. According to the ACTC website, the decision to close the bus shuttle also considered each school's values on environmental and financial sustainability as well as considering the new transportation that has been recently introduced or improved aroundtheeampuses. Last semester alone, about 420 students cross-registered at another ACTC school. Approximately 300-600 people use the ACTC bus on a regular basis. On average, 650 people ride one-way each day and 325 ride round-trip each day. According to the ACTC FAQ page, “The ACTC bus has historically been funded through institutional fees: each ACTC school is charged a per-semester fee of $7.00 per cross-registration-eligible undergraduate student. ACTC will no longer assess this fee to our member schools." The decision to discontinue the bus shuttle service was made after a year of much discussion by chief academic officers of the ACTC schools. They ultimately deemed the ACTC bus system as unaffordable and unsustainable. Each school is coming up with their own solutions to the closing of the ACTC shuttle. Hamline will Continue to work with students as well as other transportation organizations in order to provide students with the opportunity to continue studying at other ACTC schools. Macalester will continue to do the same as Hamline, however, they also plan to use the bus funds as a means to support other modes of transportation for their students. At St. Kate’s, administrators will be working on the same solutions as both Macalester and Hamline. St. Kate’s also plans on possibly pursuing a private shuttle service to provide transportation between the St. Paul and Minneapolis campuses. St. Thomas will be working with other transportation services but the shuttle will not be replaced at this time. Augsburg will continue to support those who would like to pursue the option of cross registering and studying on other ACTC campuses. Augsburg is working with local organizations such as Metro Transit, HOURCAR, CarZGo and NiceRide to provide affordable and sustainable transportation options. Ifyou have any questions or concerns about the transportation options, you can contact the registrars office at registrar@augsburg.edu. If you have questions about inter-campus transit you can contact Ann Garvey, Vice President of Student Affairs at garvey@augsburg.edu. Voices of Black Lives Matter Minneapolis heard by many at Augsburg College Tina Mon'e, News Editor On Wednesday, March 25, beginning at 5:30 p.m., Augsburg students and faculty joined in discussion with organizer from Black Lives Matter Minneapolis (BLM). According to their website. ELM, most recently popularized by the frequent national use of the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter, began in 2012 after George Zimmerman was acquitted for the death of Trayvon Martin and is a “call to action and a response to the virulent anti- Black racism that permeates our society." Titled “Black Lives Matter. Organizers' Voices," the hour— and-a-half discussion was organized by associate professor andSaboChairandFellow Lars Christiansen, asociate piofesor of sociology Nancy Fischer, associate professor of political science Sarah Combellick—Bidney and Augsburg sociology student Keisha Barnard in collaboration with Augsburg's Students for Raciallustioe. “The panel brought voices of organizers who are taking decisive action toward racial justice at a pivotal moment in US history," said Combellick-Bidney, to which “50 many students came." Oren Gateway 100 “was full and folks had to sit on the floor.” Active audience member and Augsburg student Marquell Moorer said the event was a success, and that the panel prompted a “great discussion As part of the conversation, each panelist shared their experiences in social movements and how they became involved with BLM “in reaction to the lack of indictment of Ferguson police office Darren Wilson in the shooting death of Michael Brown," said Fischer. Invited panelists, while fielding audience questions. discussed some of the nuances of the events and protests that have taken place in the Twin Cities. including the carefully-planned shutdown of 1-35, for which BLM activists used their own cars to block traffic to provide safety “for activists on foot to take the highway," according to Fischer. Panelists also talked about how BLM Minneapolis “is not associated with one thing," said Fischer. They discussed their presence at City Hall in an effort to “[emphasize] campaign promises that city council had made on equity and justice issues." Furthermore, they are currently with $15 New Minnesota, a campaign to raise Minnesota's minimum wage. The conversation also included a discussion about the recent BLM protest at the Mall of America and, according to Moorer, the “truth [of] what actually happened" there. Fischer noted that one of the most interesting topics during the discussion had to do with the media and how “the MOA protest had reporters positioned so they could NOT get a clear shot of protesters, only police." According to Christiansen, protesters had also designated volunteers specifically placed in the role of maintaining peace, safe walking space, and respect for mall-goers uninterested in the protest. “What [is implied] when public sees riot police?" asked Fischer. The issue around social movements in the media is part of why the discussion happened here at Augsburg. “I wanted this event." said Christiansen, "because social movement organizer voices are typically absent in media coverage." “Social movements that challenge the social order, and the people most directly involved, are marginalized in a host of ways. By providing the space for those voices to be heard," continued Christiansen, “the hope was that Augsburg students, staff, and faculty could learn more about the movement, its intentions and motivations, its framings, and so forth.“ Christiansen also expressed that the discussion is relevant to the Augsburg community because of the school‘s commitment to “engage the larger culture, to examine it critically, and make sense of it, to the degree that we can, using the intellectual tools that we developing as students and teachers." Combellick—Bidney also said, “Their movement is relevant to Augsburg, as we see from the walkout that took place last semester." Moorer shared these sentiments. saying the “transformative” experience of attending the discussion panel gave the Augsburg community an opportunity to challenge itself “to stand up against violence and racism from police and other local authorities... we will no longer accept this mistreatment.“ Student and audience member K Taylor said the event was important because "a lot of students. faculty and staff are out of touch when it comes to the harsh realities of racial oppression and biases that [people of color] are affected by on a daily basis.” Taylor said, "Augsburg has gotten away with symbolic gestures of diversity" for a while now. and to have a “panel discussion by and for black people and other [people of color] is meaningful." Taylor acknowledged the ctlort while also being reminded that one panel discussmn is still not enough because "there are only a handful of (administrators, staff] and professors" who represent the racial and ethnic diversity of Augsburg's student body. Concluding the discussion. according to Fischer, the panelists talked about “how students can get involved on our own campus and/ or with BLM." Combellick- Bidney also shared that the discussion's closure “included a chant by Assata Shakur: “it is our duty to fight for our freedom. It is our duty to win. We must love each other and support each other We have nothing to lose but our chains.” For more information about BLM Minneapolis, visit their Faccbuok page www.Faccbook. com/ BIackLivcsMaticr Minneapolis or Visit BlackLivesMaiicr.com Show less
N EWS Friday, April 10, 2015 Page 2 AISA and American Indian Student Services hosts 7th annual powwow r AbbyiTetzlaff, Staff Writeri On Saturday, March 28, Augsburg students, staff and the surrounding community were invited to attend a powwow, held in the Si Melby Gym. It was the seventh... Show moreN EWS Friday, April 10, 2015 Page 2 AISA and American Indian Student Services hosts 7th annual powwow r AbbyiTetzlaff, Staff Writeri On Saturday, March 28, Augsburg students, staff and the surrounding community were invited to attend a powwow, held in the Si Melby Gym. It was the seventh consecutive powwow held at Augsburg. Each year, the event is sponsored by Augsburg Indigenous Student Association (AISA) and Augsburg‘s American Indian Student Services. The event was an educational, intertribal gathering. Tribes from the areas attended, as well as representatives from international indigenous tribes as well. The festivities lasted into the afternoon, with Grand Entrances at 1 pm, and 6 pm, each time carrying in the eagle staff, a flag of sovereign indigenous nations, the American flag and the Minnesota state flag. Spectators immersed themselves in watching the colorful regalia and had the opportunity to learn about the different dance categories by watching the dancers move around the center of the gym in a clockwise direction. As the drums beat out rhythm, the dancers moved across the gym to the beat, with singing above the drums. Each dance has a series of separate dance moves, and their regalia, whether a jingle dress, the ribbons of a grass dancer or the shawl of women fancy dancers, each represents a different symbol and importance to the dance and the culture. Each dance group had its own circle of drummers and singers, taking turns based on the style of the song, Many of the dancers say they learn their craft through a lifetime of discipline and practice, as well as have a deep appreciation for the symbolic nature oftheir dance. Outside the gym, vendors and sponsorship tables were present, all raising awareness for cultural and social conditions that American Indians face in the American mainstream society. AISA ran a concession stand with candy bars, drinks and even fry bread that could be topped with butter and honey or sour cream and salsa. Other vendors sold T-shirts, tribal crafts, furs and various pieces of colorful jewelry to fit the occasion, Last month, AISA was refused re-commissioning for next year by Augsburg’s Day Student Government, sending waves of shock throughout the community close to the AISA. However, in an appeal with Augsburg's Student Government Commissioning Appeals Committee, they were reinstated for proper funding next year. Some speculate the situation took place due to student government’s attempts to reallocate student activities money in a different distribution combination. Despite the large number of dancers and spectators at Si Melby on that Saturday, DPS did not give the event 7 its own parking. Many had to park near a meter or park their cars across the street in the hospital ramp and carry their regalia and drums across Riverside Avenue. The Joy Project brings an eating disorder support group to Augsburg Katie Davidson, 0 inions Editor Friday, March 27 marked the first eating disorder support group meeting held by The Joy Project at Augsburg College. The meeting was held in the Augsburg Room from 6:30 p.m.78 pm, which is now its permanent location for the remainder of the school year, The Joy Project (TJ P) began online in 2007 and has recently made its way to Augsburg. According to Haeley Hendrickson, an Augsburg student who works as an intern for TJP, the Project was the first social media site of its kind to offer a recovery-oriented safe space for individuals struggling with eating disorders Joy Nollenberg, head of TJP, was a "real pioneer" in those days, said Hendrickson. "Joy realized that there are so few recovery and support resources available to people outside of traditional treatment, which can be spendy,” said Hendrickson. "The average cost of a month of inpatient treatment for an eating disorder is around $30,000." Hendrickson commented on how people face many barriers that keep them from getting proper care but said the largest ban-ier comes from being unable to obtain adequate insurance covemge for treatment. "Many privately managed care organizations specifically exclude or severely limit the amount of treatment one can receive for an eating disorder, so sometimes one must be able to pay the bulk of recovery costs out of pocket," she said. Aside from financial complications, finding a treatment center and being able to dedicate a large amount of time to receiving treatment gets to be difficult for most people. "There are relatively few treatment centers that focus exclusively on eating disorders in the US," said Hendrickson. "For some people, this means commuting for several hours a day or even buying a plane ticket for an extended stay." This makes it extremely challenging for someone undergoing treatment to be able to carry out a normal lifeitheir main goal. "Inpatient treatment is the most commonly recommended type of treatment, but this requires a minimum of a 2-week stay," said Hendrickson. "For many individuals, taking two weeks off from work or school is simply not an option. Who's going to pay the bills, watch the kids, feed the cat. " Although the meetings are not as intensive as inpatient treatment, the Friday meetings put on by TJ P now being held at Augsburg offer support for those whose schedules or financial situations do not allow them to undergo inpatient treatment, TJP has been holding support group meetings at the University of Lutheran Church of Hope in Dinkytown, and it was Hendrickson's idea to bring a support group to Augsburg. "I believe the support groups answer a need on this campus," said Hendrickson. "So many individuals struggle with eating or body related issues, and I wanted to create a resource students could utilize regardless of background or circumstance," Hendrickson recommends TJ P for everyone. "All are welcome at our support group, whether you're in the midst of treatment, looking to maintain recovery, have a loved one who struggles or just want a safe space where people understand eating disorders," she said. "The atmosphere of our groups are a little bit different than most, because everyone who attends chooses to be there and wants to be there." Hendrickson said this creates a community of people who want to uplift and encourage others. The mission statement of TJP is, "Ending eating disorders through real world situations." By offering support for college students with chaotic schedules and others who simply just do not have the time or money to go through inpatient treatment, TJP is accomplishing their goal. "Having suffered from an eating disorder myself, I know myself how difficult it is to feel isolated, and so one thing I would say to students is that, even if you’re not ready to pursue treatment options, we can at least help with the isolation," said Hendrickson. "We are here to accept you as you are." Augsburg College Echo Spring 2015 Editor-in-Chief Jens Pinther Managing Editor Mary Cornelius Layout Editor Maggie Royce Copy Editor Carter Williams News Editor Tina Monje Sports Editor ‘ Sarah Mueller Opinions Editor Katie Davidson A&E Editor Abigail Carpenter Features Editor A Del Logeais Faculty Adviser Boyd Koebler 7312Lst Avenue 5, CB I48 ; Minneapolis, Minnesota 55454‘ E-mail echo@augsburg.cdu Phone (612) 330-1102 The Augsburg Echo is published each Friday — except during vacation periods and holidays — by the students of Augsburg College. Opinions exprssed in the Echo are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect those of the supporting srafi‘, administra- tion, faculty, alumni/ac or the remainder of the students. The Echo does not necessar- ily promote the products or services it advertises. Advmisc— ments can be placed in the Echo by contacting the advertising manager: Submissions are welcome and can be sent to echo@augburg edu. All submissions should be between 500—700 words and accompanied by the writer‘s name and contact information. All submissions become the property of the Echo and are subject to revision, The Echo reserves the right to edit submitted material because of space limitations, repetitive subject matter, libelous content or any other reason the editors deem appropriate. Prion by Print Group Midwest on recycled paper. Show less
SPORTS Friday, April 10, 2015 Page 3 Augsburg wrestling wins their 12th National Championship Dave Fier Staff Writer On March 13—14 in Hershey, Pa., at the Giant Event Center, the Augsburg wrestling team took home their 12th national title. Augsburg qualified a program record ten wrestlers for... Show moreSPORTS Friday, April 10, 2015 Page 3 Augsburg wrestling wins their 12th National Championship Dave Fier Staff Writer On March 13—14 in Hershey, Pa., at the Giant Event Center, the Augsburg wrestling team took home their 12th national title. Augsburg qualified a program record ten wrestlers for nationals: Mike Fuenffinger at 125 weight class, Chad Bartschenfeld at 133 weight class, Marcus Hamer at 141 weight class, Will Keeter at 149 weight class, Gable Frandsen at 157 weight class,Eric Hansel at 165 weight class, Tryell Martin at 174 pound weight class, Tommy Teigen at 184 pound weight class, Matt Hechsel 197 weight class and Donny Longendyke at heavy weight class. Going into nationals, Augsburg was ranked 6th in the nation with a record of 12—4. Mike Fuenffinger led the way for Auggies, wrestling Lucas Malmberg of Messiah College and defeating him 15—2. After winning his weight class and being declared a National Champion, Fuenft'inger said, “Faith is the biggest thing. I just went out there and stayed focused. I just wanted to go out there and fight for the glory of God. Jesus is what got me here. I owe it all to him. Being able to represent him in the best way I can, that's what I was striving for." Donny Longendyke was one of the big factors brought the national title home for Augsburg with his dominating wrestling. In the last match, but possibly the most important match of the tournament, Longendyke wrestled Terrance Jacques of Rhode Island College. He prevailed in victorious fashion with a 1—0 decision. “You had two evenly matched athletes right there," said Augsburg head coach, Jim Moulsoff. “They’re not your typical heavyweights. Donny did a heck of a job for us this year...As the season went on, we took our lumps, I know that, but it didn't make a difference. We learned along the way, and we grew because the wrestlers knew they’re going to crown a national champ come March. That was their goal, and that’s what they did." The Auggies finished first and earned 100.0 points. Wartburg finished second and earned 8915 points. Wabash College of Indiana finished third with 66.5 points. Wisconsin-Whitewater finished fourth earning 60.5 points. By Augsburg winning their 12th national title, they were able to successfully end Wanburg‘s streak of winning four national titles in a row. Either Augsburg or Wartburg has won the NCAA division III national title since 1995. The Auggies earned several top honors in the awards that the national wrestling coaches association presents after the wrestling action ends. Moulsoff was named division III national coach of the year and division III rookie coach of the year. Tony Valek was named assistant coach of the year for all the support and mentorship he gave to the wrestlers this season. Eric Hensel earned the tournament’s most falls in the least amount of time award. Fuenffinger was named the tournament's most outstanding wrestler. Vikings staying patient, adding depth and potential this Undro Smith-Brown Staff Writer Patience is always a virtue when it comes to Minnesota Vikings general manager Rick Spielman‘s ofi'season plans, especially during the free agency period- His philosophy istore-sigi current Vikingswho may be due for an extension, and let the waves of big spending between the other 31 NFL franchises occnr before extending ofiers to the players whohittheopenmarket Fans may have been underwhelmed by the lack of activity from the Minnesota Vikings after the initial wave of free agency, which officially began on March 10. The Vikings finished 7—9 last season, and have needs @551; St E ;.fi$e Fiertfigf‘gri'eu ,, Name: #39 Tanner Oakes Sport: Baseball Position: Pitcher Year: Senior Major: Special Education Hometown: Jordan, Minn. Tanner Oakes is the first and only pitcher in Augsburg baseball history to pitch a no- hitter, otherwise known as a perfect game, which he did his freshman year. The Auggie baseball team currently has a record of 10-10. They are doing everything they can to chase a MIAC playoff birth. Q: What does Auggie pride mean to you? A: "Auggie pride to me means working together: everyone chipping in doing their role to complete a common goal." Q: What are some of the at several positions including guard, safety, corner and linebacker. Some wondered whether the Vikings would pursue any of the bigger names that this year’s free agent pool had to ofl‘er, or wait undl the draft to improve the roster. So far, the Vikings have signed six new players for cheap, short contracts, looking to add depth to the roster, and hopefully capitalize on the potential shown by the players signed. The Vikings decided to take care of depth at the quarterback position first, by signing 35-year-old Shaun Hill. Hill was signed to a two-year deal to serve as the back-up to Teddy Bridgewater, The biggest splash of the Vikings offseason came with a trade when they acquired wide receiver, Mike Wallace, from the Miami Dolphins. The Viking could have a steal in Wallace if he is able to play like a number—one receiver. The Vikings gave up a fifth» round pick in the current drafi and a 2016 seventh-round pick forWallace. The Wallace trade also led Minnesota to cut receiver Greg Jennings. Jennings never played up to the five-year, $45 million contract he signed in 2013. The Vikings added a few defensive players to the roster with hopes that they will bring a positive impact to the team. The Vikings added two former Bengals players to the secondary. 27-year-old safety Taylor Mays, and 38-year-old glance: Tanner Oakes ways you train during the offseason to dominate during the season? A: “We do a lot of lifting three days a week, and then within that the pitchers do a lot of different types of conditioning, a lot of sprints. Our pitching coach has us working pretty hard during the offseason as well as in season too. In the dome we do all kinds of stuff, throwing a lot of long toss." Q: What are your team‘s goals this season? A: “Our goal is to make the playoffs. It all comes down to giving ourselves a chances to move onto that next step and playoffs is it for us. Playoffs begin in early May. The MIAC is pretty wide open: one through ten is pretty solid throughout the MIAC, but there is no one that you can just show up and beat automatically. You got to be on your best game at all times." Q: Who is Augsburg biggest rival in baseball? A: “We always want to beat our rival. which is St. Thomas. They’re always at the top. You have to beat them to win anything, so they‘re number one. After that I would say it‘s pretty competitive throughout.“ Q: What have been your greatest memories playing for Augsburg? A: “Sophomore year making the playoffs was fun. Hopefully we can do that again this year. The Arizona trips are always a ton of fun. Just being with your teammates for a whole week is awesome and so is being in good weather." Q: As a team do you have a motto or quote t hat you live by? A: “I‘m pissed off for comerback Terence Newman. Mays is known for being a hard hitter and brings much needed athleticism to the safety position. It will be a win for theteamiftheycanpairMays alongidebuddingstarHarrison Smith and find success. Mays has yet to play up to the potential he showed coming out of USC, but hopefully Zimmer canhelphimsucceed. The Vikings also signed former Philadelphia Eagles linebacker, Casey Matthews, to a deal. The former fourth- round draft pick from Oregon had a career-high 62 tackles last season. Matthews looks to compete for a spot at inside linebacker for the Vikings. One of the most interesting signings the team made was greatness, because if you aren't pissed off for greatness you‘re okay with being mediocre." Q: What is it going to take for the team to make playoffs? A: “Pitching and defense. Our hitters have been doing really well so far. Our pitchers need to step up, and if the pitchers can step up, I think we'll be okay. It's got to start today." Q: Tell me about someone that you look up to or that inspires you? A: "I would say my dad. He has beaten Leukemia twice now, and he has been an inspiration not only to me but to thousands of people. His attitude during his fight wrth cancer twice has been nothing short of remarkable. He is just a really tough guy." Q: Where do you see yourself when your Auggie career is said oft-season 6'9" 351-pound offensive tackle from Poland, Babatunde “Babs” Aiyegbusi. Aiyegbusi made a name for himself in the Polish and German football leagues, but success in the NFL remains to be seen. The Vikings have a young team whose success depends on how this young talent develops. The moves that the Vikings have made in the ofiseason so far, gives them more flexibility when the draft comes April 30. The Vikings can take the best player available that day and keep building this team into a contender. The Vikings will have the 11th overall pick in the upcoming NFL Draft. and done? A: "Hopefully I'll be teaching specral education. probably in an elementary school. Hopefully along With that I can do some coaching basketball and baseball." "Tanner is as intelligent as any coach, he has grown up around the game and gets the ebb and flow ofbaseball. He has a good work ethic, he takes care of himself. and he takes care of his arm. His greatest strength is he takes personal responsibility in his daily excellence, He has always been a low maintenance proactive type of player, He knows what he needs to do aitd comes in and does it Darc i say it, he is a model student athlete " -Kcith Batcman, head baseball coach. Show less
OPINIONS Friday, April 10, 2015 Page 4 Letter to the editor: do you know what "consent" means? Maddie Williams, égribufo: Do you know the definition of the word consent? According to the Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault, it means. “free and active agreement, given equally by both... Show moreOPINIONS Friday, April 10, 2015 Page 4 Letter to the editor: do you know what "consent" means? Maddie Williams, égribufo: Do you know the definition of the word consent? According to the Minnesota Coalition Against Sexual Assault, it means. “free and active agreement, given equally by both partners, to engage in a specific sexual activity.” This means that giving in or giving up does not equal consent. The statistics on sexual assault would make one think such a concept is not taught in American society. Statistics show 1 in 4—5 women experience rape or attempted rape while they are in college 790% of those women know their attackers. Prof: ioshigc. tittieicimiriiiufii An opinion piece entitled “Midterm grading better not take too long," appeared in the March 13 edition of the Echo about the frustrations students feel when professors complain about having to grade exams. I do think the critique of professors‘ complaints about having to grade exams is helpful. I have learned the hard way that I have sometimes made too much work for both myself and my students. College is still a learning process for me too, and I learn from the interaction and construcnve L'rlIlClSm of my students all the time. This helps me be a better teacher and learner. Moreover. there is something about a professor's complaining about doing his or her job that demeans the students. the professor. the institution and the profession. Yet, there is also something to be said for exams and lectures. The aforementioned opinion piece argued that midterm exams cannot possibly assess a student‘s progress and that discussion and small-group work are better methods. The piece asserted that group work can help students make money and synthesize new ideas while “Neither of these things has any possibility of happening in the age- old ‘lecture and test' class format." These statements are too universal and fail to take into account that exams and lectures, along with other How does this make you feel? Uncomfortable? Good. More needs to be done to help prevent sexual assault, and we can start here on campus. We can’t just leave it up to fliers around campus that get torn down within minutes or the two- minute portion of a skit during SOAR for incoming students. Sexual assault is prevalent enough that our institution needs to make more of an effort not only to teach students about consent, healthy relationships and boundaries but also to make it a part of our mission to help prevent such trauma in our community. Augsburg is “committe " to educating our campus about such issues, so DPS uses the “Not Anymore" video campaign program with the hopes of giving our fellow students and faculty the tools to help reduce dating and sexual violence. Although the institution’s intentions are great, without more advertisements and promotion of the program, most students won’t know that this program even exists. We can't just rely on the school‘s websites, because if students aren't aware of what is readily available to them, they most likely won’t actively seek out the information that is at their fingertips, If you did not know, Augsburg partners with The Aurora Center at the U of M to provide support groups for Augsburg and U of M students who have experienced sexual assault, dating violence and stalking. Aurora has been a great escape for not only myself, but countless others who had no place else to go. The Sexual Violence Center (SVC) located in North Minneapolis, where I currently serve as an advocate against sexual violence, provides amazing free services for both primary and secondary victim/survivors of sexual assault over the age of 12. SVC serves Hennepin, Carver and Scott counties with 24-hour crisis counseling, legal and medical advocacies, as well as facilitating multiple support groups and one—to- one counseling. It is important to understand that victim/survivors of sexual assault can suffer from an extreme amount of post- traumatic stress, so if you know anyone who has experienced an assault remember to be very patient and kind. There are resources out there that assist supporters in helping friends or family. No one is alone. Sexual violence truly does afi‘ect everyone. What will you do to help? formats, can be parts of a bigger picture of learning. Midterm exams, when written well and accompanied by other methods, can get the big picture of what we are learning in the first half of a course. Notice that I say “can, not “will.” I must write exams well, covering the big picture and some of the important details. I prove nothing by testing students on the most esoteric minutia in a reading that I don‘t cover in class other than that I can be a jerk. I don't want to do that. Instead, I want students to be able to recognize things that can be helpful later in life as well as in the course. For instance, I want them to be able to know the five pillars of Islam so that when they talk to their neighbors or colleagues who are Muslim, they have an understanding of Islam that goes beyond the talking points of the media. I know this can work, because former students who have graduated have thanked me for it. Group work and discussion are valuable tools and should be used well. Conversation is a great way of coming to understandings on topics in class, especially in a religion course. That does not mean that these methods should be the ONLY things in our toolboxes. Some students are hesitant to talk in class for a variety of reasons but have an excellent grasp of the knowledge we've been discussing in class. Those students deserve to be able to prove that to the professor. Students have different learning styles, and I want to use a variety of methods of assessment so that I can grade fairly. Group work, journaling, essays, discussion, reading, responses and even lectures and exams have their place. I don’t want to short-change my students by relying too much on one format, no matter which format it is. l I disagree with the charge 1 that exams and lectures won't lead to students making money. Skills in test-taking and active listening to lectures can lead to success, even in the business world. I say this as an adjunct who also has a job in the business developed ' world. The ability to listen ‘ attentively, even to something you ultimately don't care about, can go a long way in developing a good customer service attitude. Employers know this, and they look for it. Something similar can be said about taking an exam. Doing something you don‘t like, performing under time constraints develops you as a human being and workervit demonstrates what Hemmingway called "grace under pressure.“ The ability to perform from memory under pressure and to do so with a minimum of complaining makes you a better employee, colleague . and a better around. In world, I have tests all the person all time, and the ability to take ‘ the business ‘ them has served me well and helped me to advance. Yes, it has even helped me get a raise or two. Lectures and exams, when used in conjunction with discussion and group work, can help synthesize new ideas. I know that from my experiences teaching and listening to the feedback of 'i Lectures and exams still have a place my students. Learning is a two-way street though, and I as a professor learn every day from my students. I expect my students to do their part in the learning experience, but I also seek to honor them with careful listening and with timely feedback and grading. l with ptesntation by Assi Aiar. Assi Atari: an imminent Israeli entetlainment personality, TV hnsl. and screenplay writer Viiteil by nut magaztne in ma as an: at the "toll MOSHMMMM‘ gays in the watlil." Azat uses his stage to figlil for lGBl equal rights. ASSI AZAR W host and screenplay wtilet M In his documentary. "Mom and Bait: I Have Something In tell You." Am snares liis experience at Cnl’llll’ll nut. day, April 13 5pm. | Marshall Room omit, .ssmn. [mu] .n it“ i, r i; Show less
iOPINIONS Friday, April IO, 2015 Page 5 Surveying the privileged landscape Rile Hunter, Staff Writer On Saturday, April 11, students from Com355: Small Group Communication will host discussions on the topic of White Privilege (WP) from 3—5 pm. in the Christensen Center‘s student lounge. The... Show moreiOPINIONS Friday, April IO, 2015 Page 5 Surveying the privileged landscape Rile Hunter, Staff Writer On Saturday, April 11, students from Com355: Small Group Communication will host discussions on the topic of White Privilege (WP) from 3—5 pm. in the Christensen Center‘s student lounge. The discussions will take place in 30 minute blocks, each featuring screenings of comedic videos covering WP, as well as a brief PSA drawing on student-conducted survey results, setting the stage for the discussion. One of the many great things about Augsburg is that faculty find ways to build our mission of service and emphasis on social justice into the curriculum. Over the past few months, three classmates and I have taken a dive into the topic of WP for our Activism Project. one of the course requirements. We distilled this topic down from the colossal topics of social justice and racism, and though the topic of WP is still enormous, it's an experience we canspeak fromasWhitepeople. As Peggy McIntosh writes in her 1989 essay “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Backpack," people are socialized not to see mcisrn as the zero-sum game it really is. Those in power, mostly straight White cisgendered, able-bodied Christian males, make decisions, control services and distribute resources, and both mounting research and anecdotal testimony shows that racial biases are expressed in these areas, often at an unconscious level. We live in a world of finite resources—good jobs, houses, etc.———so when one group of people is allocated a disproportionately large share, others are allowed less by default. The takeaway here is twofold—firstly, racism is intimately connected to the advantages White people have in the United States, and secondly, it operates at an everyday level far removed from the black-andShow less
A&E Friday, April l0, 2015 Page 6 "Better Call Saul” 7 Nick Palime“ Writer When it was announced roughly a year ago that Vince Gilligan would be creating a spin-off of “Breaking Bad" starring Saul Goodman, I was hesitant to say the least, The character of Saul has been that of a jokester on ... Show moreA&E Friday, April l0, 2015 Page 6 "Better Call Saul” 7 Nick Palime“ Writer When it was announced roughly a year ago that Vince Gilligan would be creating a spin-off of “Breaking Bad" starring Saul Goodman, I was hesitant to say the least, The character of Saul has been that of a jokester on “Breaking Ba ," always able to talk his way out of any predicament which came his way. The idea of him having his own show seemed more like a cash grab than anything. However, when “Better Call Saul” debuted just ten weeks ago, it was evident that this show would become a worthy successor to “Breaking Bad," and, possrbly, even surpassing it one day. Bob Odenkirk plays the clever lawyer Saul Goodman. The show takes place some years before he meets Walter White and Jssie Pinkman and before he even goes by the name of Saul Goodman, going instead by Jimmy McGill. At this time, Jimmy is a struggling lawyer who is trying to live up to his brother's name and become a respected lawyer in his own right. It’s an interesting contrast to the person fans of “Bad” know. Jimmy tries to always do the right thing and, while his effom are valiant, they are ultimately futile as viewers know which path Jimmy will eventually go down. Jonathan Banks reprises his role as Mike Ehrmantraut, an ex-police officer who is now working the ticket booth of a parking lot. This is where Jimmy meets Mike and, while the two don’t see eye-to-eye initially, they do eventually gain something of a respect for one another by the season‘s end. Banks always does flawless work as Mike, maintaining the stoic seriousness of the character while conveying extreme emotion when it’s called for, making him an essential part of this ensemble of characters. Rhea Seehorn portrays Jimmy's friend and fellow lawyer Kim Wexler. While it is obvious that there is some sort of history between these two, it’s never really explored in the utmost clarity. Kim ultimately wants what is best for Jimmy and becomes his confidant for much of the season. Michael McKean plays Chuck McGill, Jimmy‘s older brother who is sick with some strange illness. Chuck became one of the more interesting characters over the course of the season as he became more of a mystery, and ultimately more of a hindrance to Jimmy’s success as the season went on. While there are some short cameos from "Breaking Bad” in the opening episodes, the show truly does thrive from its originality and from its ability to stand on its own two feet with these characters. One of the more powerful episodes from the season is the one which gives Mike’s backstory. It's one of the darkest parts about the show as it explains what events created the Mike Ehrmantraut of today, and it truly is a sad series of events. Without major plot spoilers, I am going to dive into the finale, asitisthecapstoneofthefirst season. The finale has a very diflerent feel from the rest of the season as it sees Jimmy return to his hometown. The events that take place here are much wins with its first season difierent than the other episodes and thus have a strange tone to them, breaking the show away from its drama and tension— filled moments. There is a moment in the finale, however, in which Jimmy finds himself at a crossroads. He can choose to embraces someone’s vision of him as “Slippin' Jimmy," a con man, or continue striving to achieve legal success as a lawyer. It’s a neat scene to see play out as the audience very much wants to see Jimmy become something different than the man he is destined to become. “Better Call Saul" succeeds in many areas. The show is able to create a similar feel and tone as “Breaking Bad" while making itself stand out as unique. It also gives us backstories to critical characters in this universe. With great twists, a likeable cast and fantastic performances by the entire major cast, “Better Call Saul” proves itself to be a worthy successor to the highly successful “Breaking Bad." Nick Pefl doc rim'em online a! Warm/W Augsburg Community Garden grows plants and commit)! irblair Slewig, Staff Writer The Augsburg Community Garden, run by Campus Kitchen, is open to any and all volunteers for people interested in growing and maintaining the garden this coming summer, The Augsburg Community Garden was started in order to give students, faculty, staff, neighbors and community organizations the opportunity to learn how to grow their own, fresh produce and to grow as a community. “Like most Cedar-Riverside residents, 1 live in an apartment, and have no green space of my own," said one community member. “Being within three blocks of a place where I can not just see greenery, but create it, is incredibly amazing, and makes the neighborhood so much more livable." The community gardens serves as a place for everyone to come together. They feature farmers from Minnesota farms, Ethiopia, Somalia, Vietnam and Mexico—all of whom garden together and share their diverse skills and example with one another, especially with those who are just beginning to learn how to garden, These gardens give those who may not have the resources such as land, equipment, etc, the opportunity for them to grow and harvest food. Another community member said, “I don't live in a stand— alone single family house on a piece of land, so sometimes I feel like I am missing out on that American dream—type thing of having a yard. To me, my plot in the community garden is a place I can go to participate in the time-honored tradition of backyard gardening, Iloveit." Instead of Campus Kitchen attempting to grow food to provide food for free, they provide land, tools, water and cempost to anyone, so they take ownership of their own space and produce. Not only do they have individual plots, but they also have communal plots that anyone and everyone has access toAlike the raspberry patch along the sidewalk. It does not take much to get your own plot if you so Choose, more CREDIT AUGSBURG COLLEGE Campus Kitchen simply asks that interested people have a strong connection to the Cedar-Riverside Community, pay a contribution of $30 for the year (with scholarships available to cover the fee) and volunteer at least four hours to help maintain and improve the entirety of the garden, Applications for the 2015 garden plots are now open. One can find the application for the gardening community on the campus kitchen page found on the Augnet. If you would like assistance with the application or would simply just like to learn more or ask a few questions, you can email campuskitchen@ augsburgedu or can contact Allyson at (612)-330-1624. Paper applications can be printed and sent to “Campus Kitchen, 2211 Riverside Ave, Campus Box 108, Minneapolis, MN 55454.” Campus Kitchen is able to accept just about everyone that applies and asks that if you have any interested friends or neighbors, please encourage them to apply as well. Upcoming Augsburg Events Friday, April 10 Zyzzageton 2 to 4 p. rn. Oren Gateway Center Carousel Play 7p. rn. Tim-Nelson floater Saturday, April 11 White Privilege PSA Screenings & Discussions 3 to 5 pm. Student Lounge Chrimnsen Center Monday, April 13 Assi Azzar Movie Screening & Presentation 6 to 8pm. Marshall Room Chrislensen Center Tuesday, April 14 Lavender Celebration 4 to 5:30 p m. East Commons Christensen Center Show less
TA&E Friday, April 10, 2015 Page 7 Rodgers and Hammerstein’s "Carousel" to open this weekend on campus Dal M. Lo eais, Features Editor This spring, Augsburg’s theater department is putting on the 1945 musical “Carousel.” The music and lyrics are by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II... Show moreTA&E Friday, April 10, 2015 Page 7 Rodgers and Hammerstein’s "Carousel" to open this weekend on campus Dal M. Lo eais, Features Editor This spring, Augsburg’s theater department is putting on the 1945 musical “Carousel.” The music and lyrics are by Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II respectively. The show, directed by Darcey Eugen, music direction by Sonja Thompson, opens Friday, April 10, and will run through Sunday, April 19. “Carousel’s” story is really one about a handsome and romantically sought-after carousel barker, Billy Bigelow, who falls in love with the pensive and introspective Julie Jordan, a factory worker, after she pays a visit to the carousel with best friend Carrie Pipperidge. It is revealed very early on in the play that Billy struggles with a number of deep-rooted mental illnesses. He is consistently very. short—tempered, and. self- deprecating in nature, and he brings these things, for better or for worse, into his romance with Julie, all the while navigating a complex relationship with money and his work— eventually losing his job. These conditions come together and provoke some controversial subject matter within the play, domestic violence and suicide among them. In 1945, when “Carousel” was put on for the first time, these things were especially controversial, so the script takes a very hesitant and subtle approach to deconstructing them, if it takes any at all. In the second act of the musical, for example, Billy’s daughter, Louise, poses a question to Julie, her mother, after being physically abused by Billy: “But is it possible, Mother, for someone to hit you hard like that—~real loud and hard—and not hurt you at all?" “It’s possible, dear—for someone to hit you—hit you hard—and not hurt at all," said Julie in the script. As this series of lines, among many others, glorifies the experience of domestic abuse, and is indisputably problematic, the musical, when put on in the modem-day, has the potential to convey a message to audiences that is equally as problematic— making “Carousel” somewhat of a risk for venues everywhere, Augsburg included. For this reason, director Darcey Engen, with the help of “Carousel’s” cast and crew, is making it a priority to wholly deconstruct and place emphasis on controversial themes in order to transform the musical into something of a commentary on them. Throughout the rehearsal process, the cast has hosted a number of guest speakers with careers based in social work and domestic violence and participated in hours worth of discussion and dissection of the script and its controversial themes. “Darcey has done a great job making us all hyper-aware of the problematic themes contained within the script from the very beginning," said one member of the cast. “[The cast] knew from the start that Darcey would do something brilliant and progressive with the script. I wouldn‘t want to be part of the production if it was in anyone else’s hands. She’s great. The work we’ve put in has been great. It's not your typical mid-19405 musical, and that '5 important." “We’ve created a unique piece by taking an old musical and adapting it for a more modern message,“ said actor Riley Parham. Augsburg students can purchase tickets for “Carousel” PLAYBILL’ LINCOLN CENTER THEATER AT THE VIVIAN BEAUMONT PHOTO CRE DlT \vww AMAZON COM for $4, and the general public for $12. Individuals interested in reserving tickets for the production should contact the box office at 612-330-1257 or online at http://wwwaugsburg. edu/theater/current-season/ ticket-informationfl Additional information about the musical and ticket reservations can be found on the Augsburg theater webpage. Leslie Jamison reads as part of ACTC Visiting Writer series Mary Cornelius, Managing Editor “There are a lot of things we do before we have labels for why we do them," explained essayist and novelist Leslie Jamison to a packed audience last ’Iiresday night. For Jamison, her “thing” was writing about pain, and specifically “how we understand pain in the lives of others. . .[and] how we make our own pain legible." Although she did not know it when she began, her uncollected assays about pain and empathy would grow into the critically acclaimed essay collection “The Empathy Exams," which was published in April 2014 by the Minneapolis-based Graywolf Press. Jamison spoke to a full hall of students and faculty at Macalester College in the Weyerhauser Hall Boardroom as one of the five Associated Colleges of the Twin Cities (ACTC) Visiting Writers this year. During the hour—long event, Jamison read two essays from her book and answered student questions about her topics and writing habits. The first essay she read explored her personal experience attending a conference in support of people living with Morgellons, a disease that has had a complicated relationship with the medical community. Many doctors, when diagnosing Morgellons, list it as a psychosomatic rather than physical disorder, which is upsetting for individuals who feel their pain is being discounted. Jamison interviewed many people who identify with having the disease, and then she expanded the conversation to include the pain and potential pain we all experience in different degrees. "Fearing the worst is worse than knowing the worst," Jamison said. The second essay she read was a personal reflection on reading James Agee's “Let Us Now Praise Famous Men.” Jamison quoted Agee, who said his writing was “the effort to perceive the cruel radiance of what is," To her, this perception (focused, in Agee’s book, on sharecroppers in the American South during the Great Depression) enabled empathy. “Empathy is a contagion, and Agee catches it and passes it to us," said Jamison. During the question and answer session that followed the reading, students asked Jamison about the difference between writing fiction and non-fiction and about how her essay collection came together. “The process is different [for fiction and non-fiction]," said Jamison. “Non-fiction is external, engaging with what is not me. It is an encounter with the self and not-self. The root is beyond my control," she said, explaining how interviewees giving answers she didn't plan for gave her an interesting and challenging set of Creative constraints. With fiction, she noted the author has a more total control of the content, and so a different set of creative restraints, “The motivating curiosities [behind both fiction and non-fiction] are the same, though," said Jamison, who added her work dealt greatly with ideas of consciousness. The ACTC Creative Writing Programs bring in 273 writers a semester through their Visiting Writer series, with each of the five colleges hosting one author per year. This past fall, Augsburg hosted prolific and award-winning poet Sean Thomas Dougherty. The series‘ past roster has included both locally based authors, such as University ofMinnesota faculty member Julie Shumacher in April 2011, and national names, like best-selling author Cheryl Strayed in October 2012. Strayed's memoir. “Wild,” was recently adapted into an Oscar- nodded movie. Kevin Moffett. the last author in this year's Visiting Writer series, will read at Hamline University on April 14 at 7:00 pm. Moffett is the author of two short story collections and has won many awards for his work, including the John Simmons Short Fiction Award and the Pushcan Prize. Show less
FEATURES Friday, April 10, 2015 Page 8 Derek Nikitas - Augsburg’s new MFA in Creative Writing "£991:stde 5t [Writen . Augsburg's MFA program has settled on Derek Nikitas to head its MFA in Creative Writing. Nikitas will start his position in August of 2015, taking over for the current MFA... Show moreFEATURES Friday, April 10, 2015 Page 8 Derek Nikitas - Augsburg’s new MFA in Creative Writing "£991:stde 5t [Writen . Augsburg's MFA program has settled on Derek Nikitas to head its MFA in Creative Writing. Nikitas will start his position in August of 2015, taking over for the current MFA director Cass Dalglish, who will remain an undergraduate professor and a mentor in the MFA program. Nikitas is well known for his novels in the thriller genre, with his first two novels being titled “Pyres” and “The Long Division." He said greats such as Vladimir Nabokov, Stephen King and Franz Kafka influence his writing the most. Nikitas has been nominated for an Edgar award by the Mystery Writers of America for his debut novel, “Pyres,” a thrilling story of a 15-year- old girl, Luc. After her father's mysterious death. Luc is dragged into the police investigation. What makes the tale unique, however, is its focus on two different narrating protagonists, Luc and the police investigator who is assigned to the case, both of them women with backgrounds far different from Nikitas' own. He received positive reviews of his writing for the book, and his creativity is evident across the whole novel. In addition to experience writing, however, Nikitas has experience leading a MFA program similar to Augsburg’s. He led Eastern Kentucky University’s MFA Bluegrass Writer’s Studio, which is a low-residency program like Augsburg’s MFA program. This is far from his only teaching experience, however. He also taught creative writing at the State University of New York at Brockport and at the University of Rhode Island. He describes his short fiction as “True Noir,” fiction that focuses on existentialist themes and often ends on a very bitter note. While he has experimented with literary fiction, almost all of his published works involve crime or are mystery novels. He is an enthusiastic protector of genre fiction in the academic setting, where it is often frowned upon, even here at Augsburg. He is interested in the interplay between language and plot and has written multiple blog posts on this theme. Among these academic essays, Nikitas also writes about “Game of Thrones" and other genre fiction, something he has a strong interest in as a mystery writer. “I love genre, but I love it not as an end in itself," he said about the fiction genre. “I love it mono canon: PLUS GOGGLECOM as a boundary within which a good writer can create something rich, surprising and fresh.” While speaking on college writing programs, Nikitas said, “Teachers can help you confront more quickly, more consciously, the hurdles you must overcome as a writer. The same is true for great Director books on the practice of writing—and great works of fiction—but there is something to be said for the personalized commentary you get from your instructor." Derek Nikitas will be visiting the MFA residency over the summer. His website is located at dereknikitas.com and his blog is dereknikitas. blogspot.com. Poet, activist Andrea Gibson visits the Twin Cities Del M. Lo aais, Features Editor On Thursday, March 26, world-renowned poet, spoken-word artist and activist Andrea Gibson visited the Twin Cities to perform some of their poetry, alongside musical artist Jesse Thompson, for a packed Cedar Cultural Center g just blocks from the Augsburg campus. Gibson, bold and unafraid in communicating their personal truths, is really at the forefront of the spoken- word movement, providing commentary on things such as race, class, gender and sexuality, among others. The poet grew up in Calais, Maine. They were raised of the Baptist faith. Gibson attended Saint Joseph's College of Maine, and participated in their first open-mic in Denver after moving to the city with a longtime partner. A four- time Denver Grand Slam Champion, Gibson finished fourth at the 2004 National Poetry Slam, and went on to finish third at both the 2006 and 2007 Individual World Poetry Slams. In 2008, Gibson became the first poet ever to win the Women of the World Poetry Slam, held in Detroit. Since then, they have published a number of books, "Pansy" being the most recent. They have released a number of records, and many of these incorporate both poetry and music. "Truce," released in 2013, is the most recent of these records. When Gibson, providing social and political commentary on real issues via their poetry, is not on the road performing, they can be found among other activists as they are involved with a wide variety of different activist groups, including Vox Feminista, which aims, concerning oppression, to “comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable" on a political level. “I have spent the last decade working with Vox Feminista, a performance group of radical artists and activists bent on social justice," Gibson said, speaking on what activism meant to them in a recent interview with Maya Brown of the SPARK Movement. “Vox’s motto is ‘To comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable.’ I consider that every time I write a poem, and I consider that in my daily life. The year I discovered spoken word was the year I participated in my first political action, and perhaps that’s why the two have always been intertwined for me. In a culture full of so much destruction, creativity is in itself activism. That said, I’m aware when I’m writing that more is needed than our words.” Gibson often performs at “Take Back the Night" events, LGBTQIA oriented events, various anti-war and peace rallies, anti-Palestine occupation rallies and events aiming to deconstruct and examine the wrongs of capitalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy. They, too, are also the co-founder of “STAY HERE WITH ME," an online community that uses art and shame-free discussions to aid in suicide prevention. Staying true to spoken- word’s historical ties to activism and radicalism, Gibson plans to keep up their work with the art form for years to come. Those interested in learning more about the poet should visit andreagibsonorg. Horoscopes Aries (March 21 - April 19): Try to focus on the really important things in your life. Put emphasis on the positive. Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Something may trigger you to make a move. Think before you act, but don’t think too hard. Gemini (May 21 - June 20): You may find yourself in a situation where you have to compromise or make a sacrifice. Don‘t be alarmed by this. Cancer (June 21 - July 22): You may need to take initiative. If you want something, you must go for it. If you don‘t capture something right away, then you may missout. Leo (July 23 - Aug. 22): If you give you will receive, eventually Patience is everything Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): You tend to shut people out, but recently there are a lot of people trying to get in. Will you let them? Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22): You have a very strong personality, coupled with strong beliefs. This can make for someone who is a force to reckon with. Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Like anyone, you can be a tad pushy. Although this can be a helpful trait, it can also be hurtful. Mind this. Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): You tend to love a number of people. Don’t be afraid to show this love to those whom you care about. Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Be sure to look out for and put yourself first. Don’t be afraid to be a little selfish sometimes. Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Be sure to listen carefully to those around you. You may find some hidden messages. Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20): Be bold, and don‘t be afraid to rock your true colors. Show less