.7Aeaeuq/iéwzg&h mmnnr. APRIL 1. 1w Quartet To Tour Vilma XL" A. F. F. States NUMBER 1!! Banquet Committee Plans Ways To Build Up Membership We are interested in rallying both militate and students who not graduate to a program of id the Reverend Olaf Rosie, secretary of the Augsburg Foundation... Show more.7Aeaeuq/iéwzg&h mmnnr. APRIL 1. 1w Quartet To Tour Vilma XL" A. F. F. States NUMBER 1!! Banquet Committee Plans Ways To Build Up Membership We are interested in rallying both militate and students who not graduate to a program of id the Reverend Olaf Rosie, secretary of the Augsburg Foundation Fel- W'mnp wln query by an Echo reptsematwe recently. Right now I am thinkin e5 - illly of the Alumni. but the same reasons why Alumni Ihould get behind the pro- gram 0! support for Augsburg per. tam also to students who have at- kflded one. two, or three years at the school, Mr. Rogue went then on an outline some reasons why Alumni, and others, join the A. F. I". Here they are: LMbdi-nlnltapurpao. The purpose of the Auyburg Foundation Fellowship is: an’l‘o unite more closely into {spiritual fellowship all who are Vitally interested in the Augsburg program of Christian Education. b. To win new freinds for Augsburg. c.' To build the foundation for a “living endowment" for the fi- nancial support of Augsburg, and to place this support on a firmer Ia,i;i;ikrnore adequate and regular 1. Thqwmtosho'kholramo- dash: to Mr Alina Mater in I Widow-y. No matter what school one at- tend: the student pays only part of the cost of his education. An Alumnus of a church school is also Ivan of the fact that part ofthecostofhlseducatlonispald for by others than himself. The student pays a part through tui- tion and fees, and the friends of Augsburg and members of the Lu- theran Free Church, who support Augsburg. pay the other part. Among these friends and members of our churches people with mea— ger means in many instances make heavy sacrifices in order to help Augsburg to continue to give to her students a college training at a very reasonable cost. When students graduate and get into money earning positions, It becomes for many a matter of honor to show their appreciation for what their Alma Mater has done for them, both by encoura» ling others to enroll as students at Augsburg and to take their pla- ces in the ranks of regular suppor- ten of the institution. When the day comes for an Alumnus that he can honestly say that he has paid back to the institution that part of the cost of his education which these unknown friends; — pastors. business men. farmers, office girls, tradesmen. and day- loboren have supplied. it gives him a real feeling of satisfaction. In this way he enables the insti- tution to do for others what it has done for him. it is one of the plu'poaes of the A. F. F. to en~ courage the graduates of Augs- burg to become this type of Al» lanai. I‘D-7 wan to I. m "aflmmm .Augsburgwithita strategic po- sition as the only Luther-an Col- l”. in the city of InditaclosepmximitytotheUni— verity of Minnesota has natural “We! hr meth. But the whoolisinneedof nine up-to— ‘IN egment. Improvements amounting to m monomm haveboenlddedsintzlm but anewCollegebuildingandlibnry “WWW: additionsin ordertomakethe ' plant Pm — L. Stan. M. Strommsn. C. Chrisfiansen. LGudemanitad Losing only one of its personnel from last year's organization, the Augsburg Gospel Quartette will again travel through communities of the Northwest this summer. The tour this year will not be as extensive as last year's, when some cities on the west coast were visited. About six weeks will be spent in Northern and Central Minnesota, in Wisconsin and Ea- stern North Dakota. Gerhard Bretheim, freshman, of Harvey, N. D., replaces Lawrence Gudmestad as first tenor, since the latter has accepted a call to serve a congregation. Other mem- bers are Merton Strommen. Kar- sten Kristenson and Leland Steen. The latter are of the theological department. The purpose of the singers will be to bring a witness to the gospel of Christ through song and testi— mony. They will act as represen- tatives of the Luther Lcaguc ch- eration of the Lutheran Free church and also have a part in Augsburg‘s student solicitation program. The tour is arranged under the direction of the person- nel office and covers the period from August 3 to September l3. Andrew Johnson Accepts Pastorate Andrew Johnson, retiring fresh- man president, was honored by his class at a farewell party Sunday night, March 29. in the dining hall. "Andy" is leaving Augburg to accept a pastorate at Walker, Minnesota. Hardis Bakken was in charge of the program which consisted of singing and short testimonials. Grace Carlsen. vice president of the freshman class presented a gift to “Andy” from the class. Members of the Christian Fel- lowship Group of which "Andy" was a leader also took part in the program. Lunch was served after the pr0> yam. / somewhat complete. The charter members of the Augsburg Founda- tion Fellowship are determined that a program such as this shall be realized some day in the fu- ture. And the faster the member- ship grows in the A. F F the soon— er will these plans become a real- ity. 7% 7/0“ W MARS-h 25. lm [0.]QO Inasmzlst Ans. WW poise. Worst-idlme muthbacvohavohad Coach Bob Carlson Odd Bits 4W , , . Timely indeed is talk of the new Augsburian {or committees under the able leadership of Phil Holland are maintaining long hours of earnest planning in order that the annual work be comple- ted by May 15. One might spend hours of en- joyment comparing the old and the new Augsburams The first Augsburian was paper bound and a truly interesting issueubeing published in English and Norwe- gain . . . and contained sketches of Augsburg college life and other interesting features. On the whole the former and the newer Augsburians contain LiVid, living memories of the life of our students and faculty. . , . 8m... Easter brings with it feasting. Feasting brings indigestion. We hope that these little tongue tWisters will keep you living. Here is one that has enough rocks to stump even Demostenes. A box of biscuits. 3 box of mixed biscuits and a biscuit mixer. Take this on to top off matters. Six sick chickens. Repeat these three time rapidly and then shake well before usmg. (Not the patient). Social, Religious Phases V . . - Book Campaign Functions "I did. did you?" was the slogan of the Victory Book campaign hold at Augsburg during the past week. The drive was sponsored by the Student Defense Commit- tee of which George Lindbcck is chairman. The books collected will be sent to U. S. 0. Recreation Con- tcrs for the use of men in the armed forces. Book tags nearing the slogan were given to students who con- tributed books. The goal set by the Victory Book Committee was one book from each studcnl. The Book Committee was hood- cd by Et‘l'ljal‘nll‘l Gjenvick with David Boxrud, Victor Emerson and May Krohn assisting Carlson Accepts Navy Position “I believe it is the duty of ev- ery able bodied man to do his duty for the duration of the war." said football coach Bob Carlson in an interview prior to his departure to the United States Naval Ac— ademy at Annapolis, where he will receive a three months phy— sical education course. Genial Bob left Minneapolis on the Hia- watha Sunday morning March 22, in company with four former team-mates on Minnesota foot- ball teams. Coach Carlson was graduated from the Univeristy of Minnesota in 1937 with the B. S. degree and a major in physical education. After graduation Mr. Carlson held a position as Director of Athletics at the Glenwuud high school, Glt'th’UOd. Minnesota. He was appointed Augsburg's foot- ball coach in April. 1940. Coach Carlson has taken an ac tive part in many events during his stay at Augsburg cullegc Regular stuff moinbo were Chosen to lake OVL-i‘ Mr, Cur'lsuu's dutics Mr, Kildzihl will have chargi- of spring fuollizill prac- tice and other athletic classes. Mr. Pautz will loath the course in organization and administration. Arthur Chindu will ll-zid several classes in physical activitivs sisted by Stanford Ni-lsun and Vic Miller. 'x. Journalism Class Edits Echo April first holds no terror for the Journalism claSs. Requested by EdllOl’ Thorson to take charge of one issue as the Custom has been, the neo- phytes of the newspaper field proceeded to elect a staff that would engineer an l>sut to ap- pear on April Fool's Day itself. Carl Woyk e and Steven Brooks, the latter a new student in February, were selected as co- editors. Lester Bro- man got the assignment to cov- er the spans: Esther Paulson the religious news; and Mary Ann Johnson edits the society news. Other members were as» signed to v a r i o u s reportial tasks. A special meeting of the Augs- burg Sludcnt Society was held March 26 for the dual purpose of making prcparations for the annu- al all-school Honor Banquet and also for the purpw‘ of vlccling a now financial '(‘t 1r_\' to ful- fill the vacancy left by John Kis— singer who coniplotcd lllS studies at Augsburg at the and of the (ITS! semester. Hardis Bukkon. fresh- man. was the successful nominee. There will be an Honor Bim- quct, but a portion of tho pl‘O' cccds will be silfrlllCt‘d fur the promotion of Chris‘le work among lhc soldiers in the armed forces. This plan was one of three plans proposed to tho Sluduul body by the Studan Council. Other plans proposed were: that tho hanun lm Cunrcllutl unliri'ly and the total procvcds in tho stu» dent trcnsury wcn‘ to be used for the above purpose: or that :1 social gathering would lic hold til the Augsburg recreation balls with a small lunch and remainder of the funds to he dispost‘d of in the same mnnncr as previously mon- tinned. The adopted plan will call for the use of money in the fund for this purpose plus an additional amount per person per ticket. Students Asked to Back Solicitations “Augsburg students must more and more get behind the program of student solicitation if we are to maintain a good-sized student body next year." This was the statement of Pet‘— sonnel Director Norman Andor- son to an Echo staff reporter re- cently. He went on to shy that tho (Ollllllul‘d drafting of more mllllUl’lS of mun into di-fonsu work Lind llll‘ urmod furl-1's will ll‘M‘Vll- ably dl'lllt'lt‘ prt- ‘tli and poten- tial studtnt ranks. Mr. Anderson will thut tlw program nl’ gtltlllt! Augsliurg’s name and program l)t‘ltll‘t' the purple m sluullly gaining mommi- tum, and that or ought to cupi- lull/ii on tlu- ZldV‘Ol’llHllL’ we 1 «- gating through pl't'rs and radio, us \wll as through Alum. ut mgunr Million: llkr llu- Choir, (in: (‘hnrzll Club. the Finslmum Christian l ziguc and nlhtrs. Mr Audwintm soul that tlu- Chair is singing at inl- Minmlipnln mull ntlilitil convocutmns this :pimg, 'l‘hv 1m. tcr reproduced in :iuwllnvx’ l-olumn lndlCalts tho finv typo of iidVL‘r’ lismg we art: gommg lluuugh Hw Choir. Mr. Andmsun would liko to hear ll‘uln \wlunu-er quartctti-s, duos. thus. or othcr groups that urn Will- ing to ll(‘l[) in ll’li' IJl‘l‘oL‘nlullUn of programs in various churches and llivtr organizations. There are more requests for such liclp than can be illlL’d at present Show less
P-lh ‘I’II AUIII'I. 86-0 - .Iikiiltizitzl likzlicitia md-mme-yu WbmHflHM‘m mummmhin‘ mtahayeatdnlottruhfulta-t hamthatamtmh- Mammoth-instinctual“ Wmina the social and occupational Encamwm.mmmun misshfldbhornthepuumbegm toplanforitafotm.7¢rhapstatherwmta hbaontohealawyeroramadi-itmioth-... Show moreP-lh ‘I’II AUIII'I. 86-0 - .Iikiiltizitzl likzlicitia md-mme-yu WbmHflHM‘m mummmhin‘ mtahayeatdnlottruhfulta-t hamthatamtmh- Mammoth-instinctual“ Wmina the social and occupational Encamwm.mmmun misshfldbhornthepuumbegm toplanforitafotm.7¢rhapstatherwmta hbaontohealawyeroramadi-itmioth- srwantadaughtertoheanunewagreat afibt. Whateverthehopumayhe.both parentabegtntobudgetthei‘rtimelnd maothatUIeehildmayottahitheae things whenltiaold enough. if the child's home is a Christian one in education will begin by kneeling at it mothers knea while she tells it the won- derful ltoriea of the BIBLE. it is here that the child first learns the simple prayers which mother teachea it. When the child is old enough it is sent to Sun- day school and church, and both parents act as examples by taking an active part in the church. Early childhood soon passes and then come school days. These are important. as well as enjoyable days fro the child for itia during this time that it makes contacts and friendships that will leave lasting im‘ prraaiona. Already here the child hears and reads things which are contrary to those teachings which it learned at math cr's knot- Here, however, the child has the assistance of its parents and pastor to keep his thoughts from going astray. But all too soon school days are over and then comes one of the most critical momean in tho lift- of the prospective col- ll'gc student. The time has arrived to choose the institution which will offer the boat facilities to prepare the individual for hia particular vocaton. Much inquiring is done: bulletins are obtained and authorities consulted. But sad to say in too many cases one element is omitted. This is the first thing which the child learned. namely, Christianity, Parents and child choose this or that college because their friends have attended there. or because it is noted for its instructors and sports. lnquirers do not always malize that many schools teach doctrinn directly opposite to those which the child learned and confessed in confir- mation. Often they teach that the BIBLE is only a “fine piece of literature." and that earth and man evolved out of chaos. This has caused such great conflict in the minds of many of our youth that they have “pigeon-holed" Christianity in favor ol man-mada You ask. where may one obtain an ed- ucation without sacrificing those thinu things which should be moat important? This is the place of the Christian liberal ark college in society. The Christian col- loge otters the same opportunities as those 01 other institutions but students are also taught to observe all things through the eyes at Christ. Almost daily Christian col- lege students testify that life has taken on a fuller meaning to them because no< where else could they experience such educational and whgiou sguidance and fellowship as is offered in a Chr'ut'aah eol< loge. Nowhere eLse, outside of home. could they ate as students and faculty to worship the One True God and ruin his salvation through Chm Joa- in. Pcrfhapayouwonderifthepoatgnd— uwmusmmw a "an Lulu-aw“ y—g pafiah a helm—la abranowntheatrdawhflbh- volvadthewhlewu‘ldbl‘ Mien-dunk.“ notheooutri-pandthswlyhtha lummnhwhiakhn- mmnmulh “commitmle materiahtobr-ingh-kaa-ew-H. Day by day young men In" their purndtalnlfletolahhaofiandd.“ livntoh'tngbaekapeacewhidwalld- lyhiew. OurahthetaakNOVJob-d mmhhmryhandrdlwu'y sleeve. while the opportunity still asht- asheepeopleJodeteatthemih- manlty.and-cureamiewwldwitheqml opportinitiea extended to all. null- otrace.tolar.orereed. Mum-umber that Britain fought aloneforonehallyearforthecauaeof peoples shall not perish from the earth. We must rise as one and make certain that the powers of Europe and Asia which have enslaved their own people and so many of the free peoples of the earth shall be put down once and for all, The time for action is now. Ateven Brooks. Lenten Meditation Let us prepare ourselves worthily for the forth coming anniversary. The Cross of Christ is the central theme of all Scrip- ture and through the supreme sacrifice that was offered there in our stead, pardon and forgiveness are effected for the sinner who seeks peace with God through Jesus Christ our Lord. How do we stand in the sight of God? Are there some of us who are not in need of Christ! God's Word says that than is not one rightaomnonotone. “rurallhave sinned and come short of the glory of God." So then every human being is in dire need of repentance and salvation through Christ. “Who his own self. bore our sins in his own body on the tree, that we being dead to sin. should live unto righteousness; by whose stripes ye are healed."—Peter 2:24i 0h, unworthy sinner. grace is awaiting you. and salvation is offered to you; all through the gracious love of our Saviour. Jesus Christ. He. who gave himself a ran- som for all. should not we come and receive Him now? Do not wait until it is too late, for He says, “Now is the acceptable time, now is the day of salvation." Procrastination is the cause of thousands entering a Christ- less eternity. If you have not seen the vision ol the glorious cross, and forgiveness through Jesus Christ. then He urges you to we unto Him now, Place every care, every burden, and every weight upon Him. for He shall male the load light “Collie unto lie. all ye that labor and are heavy laden. and I will give the rut." mammmo m . CAI!- worn mu- aaoou h.“ I. 5— A. h l n—anru—no-a—lI-s- “Lulmlu- -1_'~uc'_l unli— Mk—_IC_ imbu'aw- batman—hits.“ film—n. Thu-di— mint I‘y—aumflflh can. "nullifi-u—n mun—eunuch..."— "Wwflwflhw Influhnhbw 'I'h-Iwal b new ‘ ‘ wuflhwmhdmha mania. m.mfllllblmhu “hnmmymfia—m aaath. “manna-Ibis “mum-“d- Huston-antes. fiMMallthatthqwbollva should mloogarllve “anthems-has Muntollilnwhohtha’ir-k-Iiadfld rose-gain.” Jan- ‘alll‘ topo- aent the-elv- as a livhg sauna-to Hint mdenuaidathatwaliveto-n mum-mm “our responsetochrhtbeuflnnay'a‘fiauh at any cost and underanycireurnatancoa.‘ 4min 'l'orgrlrnsui. \L—forlfickuy 'I-Ia is not harm in Ila is M” These words strike the keynote of victory in our Christian faith, Jesus had been condemned to death. and His mangled body was brand under the weight at the cross. This my- sterious Man who had made the astounding clairn."lalilkowly.thatruthandtka ltlo.’ was on His way to Golgotha. there to die like a common criminal. Neither Jeaua‘ dichl- nor Bis a“ friendsexpectedHimtorbatmthedead. The spices brought by Nicodemu and tha women were intended as against corrup- tion. Peter ran in surprise to the repul- chre after the women had brought the news of the resurrection. We read that Peter was "wondering in himself at that which was come to pass”. The two db- ciples on their way to limmaua seemed not to have grasped the message that Jesus was risen born the dead. How glorious then an the words of on angelz'flaisaathaamhflobsh-‘I It was the risen Saviour who showed Himself to Mary; it was He who W the Scrip- tures to the disciples on the liminaua road. Furthermore. the risen Christ showed the disciples His wounds. He asked than to handle Him; He ate with the disciples; Ha Christian heart. ad the grand hspa at his-anity'. Tasman—nuns." nth—maul”. autumn-duhld- dhmmd- any“ thousands at young men have will left home and country to ha in the t of the fight on the battle hoot Christ has been calling His people tor rd to H tare; are we giving all we arc and all we have in a great all-out "tort (or wilt-y for Him? Are we war-mind“. minded. victory-minded? ls Hb wait wide war for souls tha ona grist than» I our esiatanca — or are we still just “play- i i 5 i a t i E ii i i. ii iii. 5 5i it?! til. illi'r iii. I! @353: g 25 I I I 'il 3: ' is; i y? it: iiiili - i'ii lliilii illlt ! l I i l‘l i 7 l. touts-fl. Show less
WuyrApfl! I. m: 133 AUGSBUIG ECHO From the Depths of the corn Grill 7 CARL WOYKE _ Priorities are gomg to do a great deal to change the mode of liv- ing and the amount of luxuries to which many of us have been used to. We were innit-tried that we will not be able to get canned corn any more so... Show moreWuyrApfl! I. m: 133 AUGSBUIG ECHO From the Depths of the corn Grill 7 CARL WOYKE _ Priorities are gomg to do a great deal to change the mode of liv- ing and the amount of luxuries to which many of us have been used to. We were innit-tried that we will not be able to get canned corn any more so there is talk of cultivating a tenace garden on the roof of Mammal Hall. We hope that this is in no way similar to discumion of the man from the farm and the man from the big city who were de— fending the ments of each locality. The farmer said that in case of difficult tunes could eat their forest preserves. “You've nothing on us,” said the city man, “we can eat our traffic jams." Here's a new angle: One man says that the reason he had an auto accident was that his wife fell asleep in the back seat. Marshall Steen disagreu He says he saw an accident where two motor-ism were trying to hit the same pedestrian. Yes, Marshall, it’s a fact nowadays that every time a pedestrian crosses the streets he hopes to get the Let us tum to the brighter side of life to tell you of a certain coed who went to the book store and asked Lloyd Osness. “Do you have the book ‘Man, The Master?’ '!? “I'm sorry," said Lloyd. “but we don’t handle fiction." Physical fitness is becoming a major part of the Augsburg Col- lege cumculum these days. Some of the boys like to do a little boxing once in a while. We recall the incident where one of the boys Wm talk- ing to his trainer. Boxer: Have I hurt my opponent yet? Trainer: No, but if you wave your hands long enough he might catch a cold. Since we are on the verge of a vacation we would like to impart to you a few incidents which have happened during the past vacations. We are told that before the time came when we had to be careful about cutting down on auto expenditures the typical way that father would answer an inquirer who wished to know if the son was home from college was to tell them him he didn't know for sure but he thought that he must be because he hadn’t seen his car and his best neckties for the past three days. Another father tells that one morning he happened to see his son at breakfast. He gathered up enough nerve to ask the son. “What was that loud noise when you came in last night?" “Oh. that was just night falling," said the son. “It sounded more like day breaking to me,” replied the father. A long, long time ago one of our Augsburg boys went to the circus during his vacation. He was watching one of the main events when a bystander asked him, “Is that bearded lady your mother?" “No, that's my father," was his answer. Dr. Hallward Blegen Grads Accept New Funeral services for Dr. Hall- ward Blegen of Warren. Minne- sota, Augsburg graduate of 1904, were held at Trinity Church (LFC) in Minneapolis. March 30. Dr. Ble- gen died in a Minneapolis hospital after a lingering illness. A brother of Dean Theodore C. Blegen of the graduate school, University of Minnesota, Dr. Hall- ward Blegen was chief of staff at Warren hospital; surgeon for the Great Northern and 800 Line; cor» oner of Marshall county; president of the Warren board of education for 20 years. and past president of Red River Valley Medical Society. Dr. Blegen was born at Roches- ter, Minnesota. He had reached the age of 56 years. He was gradu- ated from Augsburg college in 1904 and from the University of Minnesota medical school in 1909. He was assistant city physician in Minneapolis from 1910 to 1912. Maurice Helland, ’33, who was recently inducted into army ser— vice at Fort Snelling, received the highest grade in his class, 97 per- cent, in his classification test for advanced personnel training to which he has been assigned. He is now stationed at Camp Warren, Cheyenne, Wyoming. Since his graduation Mr. Helland has edited newspapers in Blue Earth and New Ulm, Minnesota. Mr. Belland is a brother of Dr. Melvin Helland who has classes in both the Sem- inary and College departments. I O O Glendora Dueland, '29, recently accepted a position at Elendale, Minnesota. Glendora‘s home is at Slater, Iowa. £44644}? Sm We have a library here at good old Augsburg. It has more bools in it than one would gum from first observation. As we walked into this storeL house of knowledge the other day, we noticed something stupendous. Everyone was studying. Shocked to stupidity, as if we weren't always that way, we no— ticed Lyle Lewis studying for ten minutes without even grinning at a girl or scratching his head. We wondered — Do people real- ly study? Do they always carry on like this? According to our survey of the library. students do study. It truly did our hearts good to watch them as they delved into the deep, dark mysteries of the clasics, of the sports section of the daily paper, and Dick Tracy’s latest encoun— ters with B-B Eyes. Morton Gives Easter Party Morton Hall girls gave an Ea- ster party for the West Hall girls on Monday evening. March 30. in Morton Hall. After a short pro- gram which consisted of a talk by Miss Ryan, reading by Helen Tho~ stenson, and a song by Dorothy Lewis, the girls had an Easter egg hunt and played games. Refreshments were served by the Morton Hall girls. ’04 Dies; Positions Augsburg graduate Philip Mor— gan, ’32, resigned his position as teacher of biology in the South St. Paul high school recently to take advanced training for ex- ecutive work in the Boy Scout or— ganization. Mr. Morgan was praised highly for his school work by Superinten- dent I. T. Simlie of South St. Paul. Mr. Morgan was also active in scout work there as well as in the Kiwanis club. He still retains his membership in his father‘s St. Luke‘s congregation of South Min- neapolis. Mr. Morgan comes from 3 {am- iy of strong Augsburg tradition, his father, two sisters, a'hd two brothers all being graduates of Augsburg. Another brother, Lu. ther, entered this semester. 000an '8 FLOWER SHOP flow-n by Wire Anywhere 2‘20 Eu! Lake Street Duponi 4752 Minn-poll- WILLIAM'S CAFE Confectionery, Lunches. and Fountain Service 2430 Riverside Ave. Shaker's Barber and Beauty Shop 2506 Riverside Ave. — For Appoinunem Phone MA 9335 Concordia Society Meets; “Pope” Steen Deposed “A” Club Holds Splash Party Augsburg‘s Letterman‘s Society, the A Club, sponsored a “Splash” party Saturday night, March 28 at the central YMCA. Ping pong and other games were enjoyed by the non-amphibian minded guests. Did You Know That? 1. The Lutheran Church is the largest Protestant Church in the world, numbering 80,000,000? 2. Ours was the first church to send missionaries to the American Indians? 3. The first Protestant pastor to land in North America was a Lu~ theran, coming eight months be— fore the Pilgrims landed at Ply- mouth Rock? 4. The first president of the Continental Congress was a Lu- theran? 5. The first man to unfurl the Stars and Stripes was a Lutheran General Herkimer? 6, The first American Naval flag was made by a group of Lu- theran women? 7. Washington’s army at the battle of Trenton, was composed mostly of Lutherans? 8. It was a Lutheran boy who called a Lutheran sexton to ring the Liberty Bell? 9. A Lutheran was the first speaker of the House of Repre- sentatives? ——-St. John’s Bullet. the hierarchy known as the Augs— burg concordia Society was held Thursday evening. March 26 at the home of Karl Stendol. The purpose of the meeting was to hold a trial. Pope Leland Stcon was tried and found guilty of the law of celibacy. He was given a last chance to remove his intentions but he preferred to be true to his promise to one Ruth Franslad, ra~ ther than to seventeen fellow seminarians. This left only one alternative. dcposition. A secret and decisive ballot was cast to elect a now popi‘. Clayton Moen. a middlor in thc Seminary, w a s t h e successful candidate. Some seminarians doubt that Pope Moon will bo able to uphold the chief requirement of his office {or long. Leland Stern and Ruth Pram» stacl officially announced their engagement last week. Miss Framstad is a junior 1“ the col- lvge. Hcr home is at Valley City, North Dakota. Mr. Stcen is a middler in the Seminary. While at college he has taken a very active part in the religious activi- ties. He is also the national vice- president of the Luther League of the Lutheran Free Church. The seminarians have had a long~standing custom of electing one of their number each year as a regular officer of their society, to act as “Pope.” His chief duty is to watch over his fellow celi- bates and keep the sheep from straying into marital paths. A hasty survey of the history of this exalted institution failed to Show any former Pope as having jump— ed the fence (that is, to take a wife) during his tenure of office. This perhaps accounts {or the fact that this year’s election was held fully a month in advance of the time when it is usually held. COLLEGE TREAT Try our delicious steaks and chops. Also fountain service. 2100 RIVERSIDE AVE. C. J. Jensen Jewelry We bpocmllze In . Cl It. W I h 4 1! 3331337" a....-°.°m'..a w'JCR'cIJJ‘n, and Jowllry floyllrlnq. 32” Cedar Avenue Res. Phone At. 8‘39 Palmer‘s Watch and Diamond Shop Palmer C. Udstrand — Watch- maker and Jeweler Guaranteed Repairing 2429 Riverside Ave. At. 3643 W. Girnpel Shoe Store OUTSTANDING VALUES 325 Cedar Avenue Hanna’s Barber Shop EXPERT HAIR CUTTING VI Spodaliso in Student's . Hair Cut: A. It Hansen. Prop. in: Riverside Avenue BlueGooseCafe Corn-r uh I Cedar in Cream Bar-Lunch.- Muh-WelcomntnaMOD- KEN»SPOTLESSCAFE LARSON STUDIO Phony-Pb“ 2708 East Lake Street Tel. Dupont 1375 "BCOUIW Rooting Motors. Inc. Ford and Mucus-y ms Riverside An. M. 1893 SPIC 8t SPAN Humbug-n — Bey-no- Lunch Service "A Nod Plano to an" 2501 amnion mg mnuuu In Ana-Inn “Ml-1" Mum and may App-n! Columbia Woolen Co. 405-07 Cod-r Avenue Open Evenings SMITH DRUG sooas — Lona-ins Patel Station are Riv-dd. Ave. NI- 97" One Block tom Augsburg ‘17—‘15 Coda: Avenue roe rm: ounu'rr mars rum wom's want 10% Dim! to sum. as HOLTZERMANN‘S DEPT. STORE. Inc. muus manic I: sons. Inc. Buy Torm- Main 0904 C. V. Oliver, MUT- Minneapolis Typewriter Exchange 210 South 4th Street ALL MAKES RENTED - SOLD BEBUI'LT - “PAIRED We Solidi Your Business Public Stenographer—Tbomee and The"! Typed Show less
~1- Physical Fitne At the Wnt m Amedcn we have h'cnme around by the phy
Show more~1- Physical Fitne At the Wnt m Amedcn we have h'cnme around by the phy< uni unlitnm at nur lrmed lor- oeu. Unelr Sam has turned down 50" In! our “eligible (or the draft citizen: " Duly, lov'rnment (ear is min. that this physical delen< ll'lc'y u mdxc-twe o! the condition I)! the nvlhan p'rpulatirm In len- enl. Thu battle to better our phyIi- ul htnm ltatul must be Ivan Amrnca'l liberty and Irredom wrre not inheritl-d. they were Achn-vrd 50 CAN PHYSICAL FITNESS BE WON, likmvue. It is reasonable to m that In order to Ill-vim the firm! condltlon we mun In- r-n-Ily our phydal {mu- Wlm. Thll \- whu tho Mlnnuloll college- huvo done. When Aug-burg required three hour: 0! phyllcll edu- fl-FI‘H lull—AI"... hum it“. 2mm "mun: WMMYIE- m all It s: the duty and oblmtrou o! the leaders of emu-hon to devel- np men and women who are u {it physically {qr service in time of pence as well u in time of Ivar. Phync-l education Ihould be required all (our yeln In every college We must think not only In term: of physical fitness for the prnent. but Ibo {or the future. Mhlotle Director DB Pull: and his mu 9! afi- von Ana-bury '- 7km l- thofllnnuaneollopuphydal Rheum Physical strength. orgnnic vig< or. endurance. and a lighting spir- ll. 15 what the Augsburg physical fitness program IS giving m parv tmpants E 5 E l r 7 fl. AUCII'I. IC-O Norse Jolt Sweden 4339 to the powerM offensive Cl the Birds. The Sum M (I! Newman: in the Annual m- ball [Ame between the two oppon- lng Scmdmv'nn In:th by n score of 0-3, The other mayor event 11 the day in “nut Another mm“ in when the faculty showed the union and other student: that for thebestlndait'ubeltfurthc studenu to [we the hunky the belt acores. The final Icon I'll lxulty 25. seniors 33. S. O. 5. Although the put years have brought very little recognition to the Augsburg tennis and [all teams. the Aug: this yelr will be paying much more attention to xndivndual sport; and their won highlights. Although the schedule is not known. Aug: wlll be surprised at the games and dates so ennled. sum 1MPP$ “"0qule nlm‘d IU'lV 3(Il‘l‘u’9 u l Q1 EN 4”; m “Mum “.u v' JAI‘I',[ nu.) sen .mw ulqunw you «mg; mp" .(q amp-Lu 'umu NW e ‘xpu m; uwmmm M...” rpm.“ .n” w“ mama" clpln” rut-am.“ um up “walnut.” it.“ ,x. an! m,- JJuuun'] :[du mm.ny uunN )0 um I q will" when: aura 'mo“ (an Zulu": ‘nold nus m 9; ulunw ‘lulu‘uafi BPSIHLLL Jaqaud ‘mpI-ilnno ‘unpzlng xuatu unsung £1”pr 'prux lg plwa 4pm») m pumps an.“ «mm )0 raunlu a .(ulzui m}; auron xi -l\)d Innqssnv 103 undth maul haunting nu) ul Jalppuu a ‘uauw vouulw 'alepuaug )e unlusnd e pat wan emu apuuanau 1qu an -|.l[ BILL 1st ma monmAuoa 'Jomw JIA :dmsuoqs 'uaqmw uv FILM WANTED Anyone h-vinq nny loot-q. of l6 mm. moving pictures a! my Aw- burg Homecoming nctivitiel or lootbull gun-s plan In Norm“ C. Andenon. a .1. Hanan. Mgr. SPECIAL STUDENT SENIORS — If you In looking (or I touching petition. Ll will pay you to REGISTER NOW with MINNESOTA TEACHERS SERVICE Mmulmr National Assucmlmn u! Trachors Agencnes Olive 1. L RATES — Realm-flan n.” 15 photo "production- 11.00 ppq sum .hauos egpmonuog Ernq auo .quo 1191 Slql sunuuurur .(qm uaul lnq ‘qulmv at“ )0 mu talus“ 10 unaqmrg praqraf) 'sxse) [euouudal snounn ox paufllm are.“ sraqtuaul .laqlo «poor at" rupa uosuqof uuv IJanliuv xuluax )o Luulmd am Iago; ‘uatno pu- 'ruumrv tum imq Nun ‘uouad uus fat-q my a plq aAaq smptulurag Mu dense Annaan '5; ‘empuam uruew pue 51.31pm.) ‘asaq p.1qu 111:“ 'lq Jo} sunuasI elaund 1.0“ p awnpnm Srnqsfinv 'exos muse under III- 5 Outer who h n W wnternlety lam. Skepstad Cops Tourney Title John SkepIt-d became the new Ping Pong Champion by dad-l"- ly detecting Elwood Lundeen In three stnitht games by more. 0! 21-9. 21-10 Ind 21-15. The games were played before a crowd of Annie student; and faculty membels u an Added (er ture of the Junior Senior lame. Those plnlclplllnl in the semi- finals were: Norman OLmn. El— wood Lundeen. John Skeputad and George Lindbeck, George Lmdbeck and John Skepatad played In exhibition gamr bvlore the {in-I lune In which Lindbeck but three out o! the {our um:- pllyed. ILLI’sutumthnhIlllooh- in (or all tennh Ind loll player. He state: that a large number should take advantue a! thin op- portunity because I very good schedule has been lrrln‘ed (or this season. E 2 I675? Go To ‘ HOIEN'S MARKET for Quality Meats : 9 AT Lowm pmcm Phone: Dupes: 1084 Basketball and ping-pong. two a! Augsburg} "pet" games. have (inally come to a season close, The class tournaments. line exhibition: 0! Augsburg] spirit and sport:- mamhlp. were well played Ind well attended. The Echo upon.- stal! wuhu to conmtuhle Ill 0! the particupanu on really cle-n healthy fun. i if S a % mill! fill MU—ann III—ml... h:1—fil~v.m 'EW-m all—m 1....- agnII-u—qnu-hym 00" A I—m.m Afl‘fl—nml-I. fifmhh , _ layII—Il.f_‘m II m... ' —I.-“ JooOrdoI'l'm O.H.Ecklund&$onl QUALme GUSTAPSOI cum-n nun "0m lac-duAn Tia”. mCadnAvo. I‘m-filth BRODAHI-‘S Mm mm m-H‘l-Inh'y alumna: “My.” min” W" ""'"“"""' tie-m1... 1"“ m quor- m—n-nfirufizc‘An a” um "I: is Later Than You Think“ START NOW To find Your LII-Eth mvmmmmmrmmw-my Lutheran Brotherhood Wheel-lithium “Alme Show less
7h ($50 Volume 50 M yrvik 1'n Augsburg College. Monday. April 1. 1346 Concert Monday Evening Mr. Norman Myrvik A recently discharged Chap- lain’s Assistant who was soloist at General Eisenhower's Homecom- ing reception at Kansas City will be presented in a recital to be given Monday, April 1, at... Show more7h ($50 Volume 50 M yrvik 1'n Augsburg College. Monday. April 1. 1346 Concert Monday Evening Mr. Norman Myrvik A recently discharged Chap- lain’s Assistant who was soloist at General Eisenhower's Homecom- ing reception at Kansas City will be presented in a recital to be given Monday, April 1, at 8:15 pm. at the College chapel. He is Mr. Norman Myrvik, Lyric Tenor. While in service Mr. Myrvik was guest soloist with the Kansas City Summer Symphony. He won first place as tenor soloist in the Seventh Service Command Music Contest which comprised entries of professional Army Musicians from nine states. He also directed camp choruses and concerts, ap- peared on weekly radio programs and presented recitals for the Kansas City Music Club. He will be featured with Audrey Landquist, Concert Pianist. The program consists of five groups of selections. Some of Mr. Myrvik’s 50195 are “Comfort Ye My Peo- ,ple" from the Messiah. “Hark! Hark! The Lark” by Schubert ' and "In the Silence of the Night” by Rachmaninof. Miss Landquist will conclude her numbers with "Scherzo opus 31" by Frederic Chopin. ' . Veterans Enroll And Set Record Enrollment at Augsburg this semester has surpassed all previ- ous records. Returning veterans have brought the number of new stu- dents this semester to 138. Of these new students, only ten are women and the majority of the rest are vets. The total number enrolled the first semester was 288. This was more than that of a few previous years. Some rooms in Old Main have been made available for new stu- dents to room in. 300.000 New Goal For Building Fund The Director for the Victory Building Fund, Rev. Olaf Rogne, has announced that the original goal of $250,000 has been reached in cash, 'bonds and pledges—$215,- 000 in cash and $300,000 in pledges. A new objective of $50,000 more or a total of $300,000 is now set. A beginning, on this new object, about $4,000, has already been made. Rev. N. C. Anderson, Director for the Alumni and former stu- dent campaign, has returned from a trip to the West Coast, where he has been contacting Alumni and church members for this cam— paign. Pledges, which are now due, should be paid to the Building Fund Office, Augsburg College and Seminary, Minneapolis. Special Course For Veterans Starts April I Dr. Arthur Nash has announced that Augsburg will enroll between 40—50 feshmen veterans on April 1. Veterans will be permitted to register for the equivalent of a normal college course which will qualify them for all benefits under the G.I. Bill and also permit parti- cipation in all school activities. Special feature of the course is that they will be taught almost exclusively by veterans who have recently returned to the Augsburg faculty from service. Among these instructors are Phillip Kildahl who will teach history, Norman Myr- vik, who will teach English, and Philip Helland who will teach courses in physical education. President Bernhard M. Chris- tensen has also announced that Augsburg is considering holding a special summer session this year to take care of the special needs of the veterans who are swelling the college enrollment. |.R.C. Meets At their last meeting, March 5, Mrs. Arthur Upgren spoke on the subject of “British Loans.” The International Relations Club had its first meeting on February 21. An election was held and the following were put into office: Vernon Jensen, president; Henry Swiggum, vice-president; and Gertrude Vic, secretary-treasurer. A joint meeting with the Col- lege League of Women Voters will be held on April 2. Mr. Ken- neth Berger is the adviser. Augsburg's rolling now! The student body has turned to wheels for recreation, and the hardwood floors of the Pastime Arena in St. Louis Park have reverberated to the thunder of two All-School Roller Parties. The llrst, on February 21, was Pautz to Direct Public Relation m, l'mlrlcry of SI. I’mll Piunccr I'rrss Mr. Richard Paul: Mr. Richard F. Pautz “37,” for- mer Director of Athletics (1938- 43) at the college, was recently appointed Director of Public Re— lations by Dr. Bernhard M. Chris- tensen. Mr. Pautz left Augsburg early in 1944 for the Navy where he served as a physical training in- structor at the Navy pre-flight school at Georgia Tech. He served as an enlisted man for several months but later received a com- mission as Lt. (j.g.) and served as a gunnery oflicer in the Navy armed guard. Lt. Pautz saw duty in the American and European theaters of operation. In his new position Mr. Pautz will coordinate the activities of the school in the field of public relations. His office will supervise student solicitation, student em- ployment and press and radio re- lations. sponsored by the Student‘s So- ciety and the second, held on March 12, was staged by the So- cial Committee, headed by Norma Sateren. The W.A.A., as part of their “joy through health” program, is making plans for a third roller- Number 8 Choir Attracts Capacity Crowd Special Speakers Here tor Mission Festival Week “All for Christ and Christ for all' was the theme for the Mission Festival, held March 21-24, Rev, G. Giving brought the first message Thursday at 8:00 p.m. His topic was the Panorama of Missions. On the following eve- ning Dr. Hjalmar Swanson spoke on the Purpose of Missions: Dr. George Aus spoke on Preparation for Missions Saturday night. Rev. Bernard Helland concluded the series on Sunday at 3:30 pm. wih his message on the Primacy of Missions. Saturday afternoon the differ- ent Mission groups went to old people's homes, hospitals and mis- sions. There was a display table of mission literature and of souvenirs from mission fields. This series of meetings was sponsored by the Augsburg Mis- sion Society, Kildahl Returns to College Faculty Mr. Philip Kildahl, former teacher here, has returned to the Augsburg Staff after spending two and one-half years in the in— fantry. He went overseas and for a large part of the time he was stationed in Germank. He now teaches European Civ- ilization, logic, and Espanic Amer- ican History. He stated that the subject he liked best to teach was logic and any kind of history ranked second. Picture by Norlhu'vsi Phnlo Shuliux party, which according to recrea— tion director, Delores Rust, will take place in the near future. Watch for the announcement for as one enthusiast says, “It’s a fascinating forum full of flashing feet and furious fun, fraught with fracturing figures for faculty, fel- lows and frails." The annual spring Choir Con- cert was given to a near capacity audience Saturday evening. March 10. at Central Lutheran Church. A wide variety in style of sc- lections was found in the pro- gram. In the first group were many numbers wriitcn in former centuries. They were: "Hosanna to the Son of David," Orlando Gil)- bons: “Let My Prayer Conic up into Thy Presence," l-lcnry Pur- cell: “In Mirth and In Glmlnoss,” Frederich Niclt; "Break Forth Oh Beautcous Heavenly Light," and “All Breathing Life." both by Bach. The second group (IpL'nk'tl with a double chorus number by Mch delssohn. with soprano solo b) Agnes Valvik and tcnor Snlu b3 Gerhard Brclhcim. This followed with: “Deck Thyself My Sou! With Glndness." Christmnson. “Go Song of Minc,” Edward El‘ gar: 'Gods Son Has Maclc Mn Free,“ Edward Greig: “Day of Judgment," A. Arkhangelsky and “From Heaven Above," by Chris- tianson with solos by Bernice and , Eileen Kolden. “Who Is Like Thee," an ancient Hebrew song, was first in the third group with tenor solo by Mr. Bretheim. Next was “0 Lord God," Tschesnokofi; “When Cur- tained Darkness.” Christiansen. The choir sang a new composition written by Leland Satercn, a for- mer Augsburg instructor, “Lord God of Hosts, How Lovely." The concert came to a conclusion with the familiar “Wake Awake." The choir will begin its 5000- mile tour to the West Cost on May 25. Their first concert will be held at Fergus Falls. A few of the stops are Helena. Montani; Seattle. Washington: Ponlrind. Oregon. On their return trip they will stop at Billings, Montana. Bisbec and Fargo. North Dakota: Some of the special fl-aturcs for the choir mcmbcrs include a {in} of mountain climbing on All Ranier in Washington and u llvur through Yellowstone Nauonul Park. The climax of the tour \nl! bL’ a banquet reception in Grand Fork‘s newest hotel on June 16. They will return to Minneapolis June 17, Spring Theme For Big Sister Tea A welcome to the big sisters by Virginia Vigue was the first num- ber at the Big Sister-Little Sister Tea on February 26. The theme of the tea was "Spring" and the program con- tered around that idea. Rhapsody in Blue by George Gershwin was given as a piano solo by Harriet Haugen. June Hansen sang Dance of the Fairies. A reading, Three Trees. was given by Betsy Townes with Miss Haugen furnishing the musical background. Miss Townes also read an orig— inal poem by Irene Johnson dedi- cated to the big sisters. Marjorie Johnson and Virginia Vigue served the lunch following the program. Show less
71w 14W echo Established in 1896 1945 Member 1946 Associated Collegiate Press THE AUGSBURG ECHO STAFF Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Lawrence Ouanbeck Associate Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..Marguerite Hamilton Feature Editor . . .... Show more71w 14W echo Established in 1896 1945 Member 1946 Associated Collegiate Press THE AUGSBURG ECHO STAFF Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Lawrence Ouanbeck Associate Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..Marguerite Hamilton Feature Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Carol Guam Sports Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..Arnold Hagen Society Editor . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Charlotte Erickson Columnists . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Leslie Nelson. Norman Anderson. Margaret Serst0ck Repoi‘lerstary Schindler, Phyllis Erickson, Othelia Carlson, Margery Manger. Marion A ’ Hazel ' ‘ Irene ' ‘ Ruth Thompson. Nathalie Anderson. Ruth Amstuly. Ethel Anderson. Business Manager . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Mable Rygh . it Business Manager. . . . . .Mildred Konsterlie lation Manager . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..Marilynn Peterson Typists John Foichat. Sylvia Belle Moe Red Cross Somriiiiies a symbol means more to us than any number of essays oi expositions on a subject So it is with the emblem of the Red Cross. To some of us. a glimpse of the Red Cross brings to mind the blood donor centers of war time. or letters from a prison camp. or railroad station canteens To others it means even more. A doctor glances at me Red Cross and remembers gratefully the hospital aides who came to help him in the time of emergency. A war veteran looks and remem- l‘t’lS eomt'oit in the time of pain. and a soldier needn‘t even look; he cairies it in his ilt‘tll’l. foi to him this emblem has meant life itself. The \\ilI'-lllllt" service of the American Red Cross was greater than imiividual iiiiaeination can comprehend. We admit this. and tell our- selves that we are glad that our dollars helped to make it so. And then xvi- t‘orget the Red Cross. for the war is ended. The battle of the Red Cross is not ended. It is only beginning the struggle toward relief and rehabilitation in the countries scarred by am: It I: a ‘.‘t :‘ letl'l for earthquake. storm. and fiood areas here at home. it is tt‘vnllllllln; to supply medical help in the vast areas of our .‘y wintrt izospita. and doctors have become short handed. or ha . enii’ipletzl} disappeared. in ever) city. in every state. the Red Ci s: tinis to s to: the homeless. clothes for the needy. and food ' th- L r Th mix it has to do is never done—there is always more l. more lit-1p needed. 'ne Red Ci nd near proudly its emblem on . .: ..._L l B» .. girl of this glt'ill .ind \‘Ilitl serviCt- to humanity. It s Here— Spring that fatal form of creeping paralysis has a pronounced Ltiect on all of Augsburg It dms weird things to some people. and put ‘ 1p. Of course Pants has been sleeping all Winter. but spring .. :Ap through his classes rather than in them. Hialmot has ', riiuie ‘CH id reaction. He takes to wearing yellow striped T shirts. l“ Wally Aos arts-all) pays the barber to scalp him. A] Clyno mum- things about p: ks. and benches. and Betty Westphal has dropped iron: rlvl tocabuiarv .iie but. .i tow t,".‘1dt'nt‘l.'5 of the complete nictamorphisis that ..-: . l pl .-- Lois Ahlborn has broken out into hives and Mr. Ur- dahl has started taking l‘uli in classes Don Sween has become lazy .in-i Rocky Ryan. '-‘.l".1) used to be lazy is finding it an effort to exist. NW! so with Bubba Ekse. though. She bursts into song and flits about ‘ a lail-I The rpllll. some folks call her. 'lu all of this happy-go-lucky gatety. Mr. Soberg adds a solemn rote—“Keep off the grass." fl; THE REV. JOHN B. HOUSEB AND DAUGHTER, MERLE Attend same chm at Augsburg college THE AUGSBURG ECHO And There I Was— By Leslie Nelson To a man of leisure. an early breakfast is nothing more than a feeble gesture of defiance. flung half-hcai‘tedly into the jaws of the dawning day. There can be no physical necessity for a meal taken as distastefully as I took this morning‘s breakfast. How- ever. a cup of coffee can do a per- son a world of good at such a time if good coffee is available. One morning several months ago I noticed that the fellow across the breakfast table from me was con- templating his coffee with an un- believable dcgree of disgust. Thinking it best to get his mind ofl‘ the subject. I glanced toward the window and remarked rather casually. ‘It looks like rain. desn‘t it?“ "Yeah." he replied bit- terly. “But it smells like coffee. and that‘s what fooled me." Then for no apparent reason. he asked my age. Upon discovering that I was several years his senior. he brightened visibly and gave me the coffee. "You better drink it." he quippcd. “it‘s more your age." Coffee is not the only trouble. One Friday night someone asked the waiter if the fish was fresh. The waiter replied that the fish was so fresh it breathed its last breath just as it came in the door. "Yeah." said the quipslcr. “hali- tosi.. ' The criticism was justified. however. The fish was so strong it could haVe walked around the table and said “hello” to the cof- fee. if the coffee hadn't been too weak to answer. Now that we're back on the subject of coffee. I might as well give you the latest information on that beverage. You can take it for what it's worth. I found it in an outdoor magazine—a full page feature. extolling the joys of drinking coffee out-of—doors. A revolutionary type of door, no doubt. Being a conservative, I'm still drinking mine out of cups. This week's feature is Italian Spaghetti. which is a very deli- cious food if it is genuine. but don't accept any substitutes. Sci- ence has recently developed a positive method of determining whether or not the spaghetti you are eating is pure Italian. Now that wartime restrictions have been lifted. it will be just a mat- ter of time before the secrets of spaghetti-testing will be known to all mankind. I strongly sug' gest that you write your congress- man urging rclease of this discov- ery for the benefit of those coun- tries not affected by UNRRA. Here are the details of the meth- od. simplified so that even the unscientific mind can grasp them. You impale a big. slimy. slithery guh of the stuff on your fork, stand up on your chair. and hold the mass at eye level directly over your plate. (At this point people around you may stare, but don‘t let that bother you. They're just a bunch of hicks who have never seen a spaghettrtcstcr before.) Now take careful aim and let the whole mess drop squarely on your plate. If it goes “wop” when it lights. it's pure Italian. O. H. Ecklund & Son QUALITY FOOTWEAR 409 Cedar Ave. Riverside Pharmacy Prescription Druggisu 2500 Riverside Ave. GEnevu 2480 New The Junior Class has chosen a Scottish theme for the annual Junior-Senior Banquet. to be held April 5 at the Leamington Hotel. Following the dinner will be a short program featuring Mayor Hubert Humphrey as speaker. Norman Myrvik will sing several Scottish Songs, and Marion Myr- vik, President of senior class. Wil~ lard Steck, President of junior class and Dr. Bernhard Christen- sen, President of the College. will give brief greetings. The Junior Class plays host at this traditional affair. and all Juniors and Seniors are urged to attend. Captain Gaston Vandermeersche of the Belgium underground army gave a very interesting talk in Chapel describing the conditions in Europe. He told about some of his experiences in the under— ground service. Mr. and Mrs. Earl Glarborg are the parents of a boy. James Earl. Mr. Glarborg is a former Augs- burg student. A treasure hunt introduced the second Luther League Fellowship on March 15. Garfield Jacobson directed the games. Iver Sonnack led in a song fest. After devotions ice cream. cake and coffee were served by the league. Singspiration, with all the Luther Leagues in the Twin Cit- ies participating, was held in the Gymnasium of Augsburg College. March 1. Shirley Formo. president of the campus Luther League led in games. After the recreation everyone went to the dining room of Memorial Hall. There Iver Sonnack conducted a Singspira- tion. A men's quartet with Obert Landsverk, Phil Quanbeck. Wally Aos and Gerhard Bretheim sang. Midweek Service for March 7 was led by the social committee. under the direction of Miss Cor- inne Shicll. The theme of the pro- gram was “Now is the Time." Ernest Kasin was the speaker. Keep ahead by being well read. Read the Reader's Digest.—Adv. Monday. April 1, 1943‘ « Most of the seniors had beens" missing from our halls the past”; few days. These future teachers had gone to a town of their own choosing to practice teach for two ‘ weeks. The following seniors went ' to towns in Minnesota to practice; Iris Engberg, Brainerd; Marjory Paulson. Kenyon; Eileen Quan- beck. Wanamingo; Norma Sat-' eren, Hinkley; Lloyd Johnson and Gladys Boxrud, Monticello; Edyrce Johnson. Braham; Ordellé Aaker and Marion Myrvik. Ellen- dale; Sylvia Haukeness, Sebekay Loren Thorson. Watertown; and Valdemar Xavier. Belgrade. These seniors who practiced teaching in Minneapolis are: Phyllis Englund and Clara Carl- sen. Columbia Heights; Milton Kleven. Robbinsdale; Stan Per- son and Clair Strommen, Minne- haha Academy. The College League of Women Voters have been actively dis- cussing current problems in the recent months. In January the meeting was held in the form of a panel discussion on the subject, “Inflation.” Phyllis Erickson. Ei- leen Kolden. and Ruth Pederson led the discussion. In February a joint meeting at St. Catherines with Hamline and St. Cloud was arranged. One girl from each college participated in a panel discussion on the U.N.O. Gudrun Vik represented Augs- burg. The following have been chosen by their class as veteran repre- sentatives on the Student Coun- cil: Milton Kleven, senior; Russel Quanbeck. junior; Paul Sanders, sophomore; and Kenneth Soren- son. freshman. The students of Augsburg have turned in 1500 pounds of clothing for the Lutheran World Relief. The clothing collection has been sponsored by the campus Luther League. 10 minutes a day with the Reader's Digest keeps you a well- read. nteresting purely—Adv. pd. FAIRWAY FOODS SELF SERVICE 2129 Riverside LARSON & SUFFICOOL GROCERIES AND MEATS WE DELIVER CEneva 2994 417-425 Cedar Avenue FOR FINE QUALITY MEN’S AND WOMEN'S WEAR HOLTZERMANN’S DEPT. STORE, INC. JULIUS SHANEDLING & sons. Inc. Easy Tom“ i HIGHEST ' QUALITY HOIEN’S Albert Stonstrom, Prop. Quality Fresh and Prepared Meats 2509 Twenty-seventh Avenue South We Have a Complete Line of Home Made Delicacies for Smorgasbord FINEST SERVICE MARKET DUpont 1084- Show less
Monday. April 1, 1946 Splinters From The Hardwood By "Pants" Boy we‘ve really picked up a lot of splinters during our vaca- tions. Bet you didn't know the Echo Stafl’ had vacations. did you? Well. instead of taking our vacation this summer we took ours this winter. Jackson went to Kansas City to... Show moreMonday. April 1, 1946 Splinters From The Hardwood By "Pants" Boy we‘ve really picked up a lot of splinters during our vaca- tions. Bet you didn't know the Echo Stafl’ had vacations. did you? Well. instead of taking our vacation this summer we took ours this winter. Jackson went to Kansas City to soak up the sun- shine for me. Seems as though something else affected him, though. Couldn’t have been the Hotel States Coffee Shop. What’s. the story on that, Jackson? Do you know some of the su- perstitions the fellows on the bas- ketball team had this past year? “Jeroy” Carlson always insisted on being the last man on the floor. “Red” Lindgren shaved be- fore every game, except St. Thomas. Bob Carlson, .our coach, always wore the same tie. Jack- son wore the same pair of pants to every game, but the St. Thomas game. Good thing the basketball season ended when it did or he would have been left out in the cold. Nelson Brothers Added to Statt Two brothers have been added to the coaching staff here at Augs- burg College. They are Edor and Stanford Nelson. Edor Nelson, who graduated in 1938 from Augsburg, will coach the baseball team. Mr. Nelson has been a captain in the Army five years. He was in a German Pris- on Camp for six months. Before graduating Mr. Nelson was All-State in three sports — football, basket— ball, and base- ball. He then taught two years at Lam b e r t o n High S c h o o l where he coach- ed a b a s e b a 11 Stan Nelson team that won the state championship one year and was runner-up the other year. Mr. Nelson will be studying for a Master‘s degree in Physical Ed— ucation at the University. The other brother. Mr. Stanford Nelson has been coaching the bas- ketball "B" squad. He graduated from Augsburg in 1943 and won All-State honors in football. Stanford Nelson comes to us from the Navy where he had the commission of Lieut. (j.g.) He was a skipper on an APC. Class Tournament All Stars F—Glen Grahn. . . .Sophomore F—Norman Olson . . . . . .Junior F—Herb Rusdahl. .Sophomore F—Milton Kleven . . G—Gil Parsons. . . G—Carl Carlsoni . . . .Seminary G—Norman Anderson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Sophomore G—Art Chido . . . . i . . . . .Junior C—Luther Gronseth . Seminary C~Harold Lee . , . . . iFreshmen THE AUGSBURG ECHO Page Three Augsburg Shares Title with Tommies Drop Washburn University in National The above photo was taken at the National Intercollegiate tournament at Kansas City by a Associated Press photographer. Drury College Co-Champs Honored Coach Bob Carlson and his Augsburg College basketball team. co-champions in the State Con— ference. were feted at two spe- cial occasions this week. The team returned recently from Kansas City where they participated in the National Intercollegiate Tour~ nament. On Thursday at 10 a.m. the team was honored at a special student-faculty convocation at the college. President Bernhard M. Christensen spoke. Special guest speaker was Dick Seeback. assis- tant basketball coach at the Uni- versity of Minnesota. Dick Paultz. former Director of Athletics and now Public Relations Director, was master of ceremonies. Gold basketballs were awarded to the Championship team. The lettermen’s club honored the team and coach at a banquet at the Cofiman Memorial Union at 5:00 p.m. last Friday. Over two hundred Augsburg lettermen were present. George Soberg, Fac- ulty Representative in the Con- ference, was master of ceremo- nies and Stu Mann was special guest speaker. Many Auggie greats of the past were present including John Kolesar, senting the last championship team repre- of Springfield, Mo., defeated the Auggies by the score of 55-47. Sophs Win WAA Class Tourney In the WAA basketball tourna- ments played recently. the Off- Campus team won for the dormi- tories and the sophomores gained the class tournament title. In the beginning round of the dormitory competition. Sivertsen beat Morton-West and Off-Cam- pus nosed out the Alpha House team, In the finals. Sivertsen bowed to Off-Campus. with Alpha House defeating Morton-West to take third place. The class tourney was played ofl" in round robin style. with the sophomores winning both their games and the junior-senior team and the frosh winning one and losing one each. The tournaments were arranged by Mary Jane Wanous. WAA di- rector of basketball. Captains were: Jeanette Jacobson. Morton- West; Elaine Olson, Sivertsen: Dorothy Quanbeck, Alpha House: Barbara Ekse, Off-Campus; Carla Wahlberg. freshmen. Doroles Rust. sophomore; and Doris Larson, junior-senior. Referees were hired from a University of Minnesota refereeing class. An all-star team composed of players from all teams and with Mary Samuelson as captain played the M. and 0. Paper Company team and defeated thm 40-15. They plan to play a University team and L.B.I. soon. . nolly Three Augs on All State Augsburg. Gustavus. and St Thomas monopolized the all-star team chosen for the Associated Press by coaches of the Mrnnesotzr college conference. Jeroy Carlson won a berth on the first five \\'hllr‘ Ahlbom. Strommen. and Lindgrcn were placed on the second team. The 1946 St. Paul Pioneer Press- Coachcs All-state basketball team placed three Auggics on their first team. Don Sween at forward. Jeroy Carlson and "Red" Linda gren at the guard positions Here are the St. Paul Pioneer Press All-stars: F—"Junior" Skogland—Guslavus Adolphus F—Conway Thompson—Gustavus Adolphus F—Don chcn—Augshurg C—Dick Furey—St. Thomas C—Charley Kaye—St. Thomas C—Petc Kramer—St. Thomas G—Jeroy Carlson—Augsburg G—“Red” Lindgrcn—Augslwrg Honorable mention: Paul Con- and Ken Mauer of St. Thomas; Harold Ahlbom and Claire Stromrnen of Augsburg: Jack Rudy. Bryan Elmcr and Har- old Swenson of St. Olaf: Dick Kirby and Lowell Hesse oi Macal- ester: Elwood Bohm and Finn Grinakerof of Concordia: Francis Miller and Jim O'Brien of St. John‘s. and Jack Miller of St. Mary‘s. Drury Trip Augs At Kansas City In the openrng game of the eighth annual National Intercol- legiate tournament at Kansas City Augsburg College of Mrnnr-npolis swamped the Ichrrbods of Tupi-kn. Kansas. 64 lo 36 Aug>l>urgk trust break was Llllilblv‘ to make any progress during thr- iirst half. \Vashburn led 13 In, 2 in lhv -'Ill'l\' stage of the game. The Augs grrrd~ uzrlly came to ler and loldl‘tt to the front. 27 to 25 at hzrlf llllrr‘ Soon as the second hrrlt trot urrrlr‘r way the Anguil- fiw rml; w'nr' complclv cornnmrrd txllvl (llr‘lHl‘:§ll- 1y routed tlrr- canto \Vrrslrlr :zn five Clair St'r»rrrrr;rrr \rll'l lirlfllll Ahlbom led thvrr lt"ll|l ln srrrkm: buckets from all .rr ‘ court. Stronmn n from lllr‘ field and our lll‘r 7h: \vhrlo Alrllmrn wrik ~« ’1‘!” mm and supwrrwr >llrrlrl.ll.. or '5» .l g— gu-s turnr-d \vlmr ermluw rr lr» 2r chm- Crllllt'fl‘ rrrh» . mzr ’1‘ .r. Carlson scored 17 lurnz- :w 'llr' losr-r's Drury Crrllwgr r)! \'r ,rrr‘rulrl. Mn olrmrnrrtcrl .\llfl* r“ 'lru second round hr in Kr 47V Atlpslull‘L cor an .r‘ r r- - .mrl but mm t'r-ll lmhrml .rnrl rmrlut m. the half 4.: M L L'n l wn loft tho came zrftvl 1er w rr l.r tvs of phi) rim: to (In 1‘ mi}. ’l‘lris slowed up the Ancgm conmlvr- ably, Thirty-nun prurrls were scored between Robwrt Masters and Dick Schmalhorst provrdrng the scoring punch for Drury. Har- old Ahlbom led the scoring for the Auggies with 11 points. Augsburg wound up its regular schedule with a 51-42 win over Gustavus. This win gave the Augs its first share of a title Since 1927. At half time the Augs led 22-20 after a nip and tuck affair. In the second half the Auggies again proved their skill in out-rushing a determined Gusty five. Thompson of Gustavus and Jer "1 Carlson of Augsburg led in the scoring with 13 points each. Clair Strom- mcn. star centcr. played his last conference game for Augsl All: Season Record “'0 They Betllt‘l Junior Collqu 43 AS Munkaro 'l‘vrrchcrs .. 43 .i‘.‘ Luther .. .. ,. .. 49 4‘1 Carleton . .. . .52 Mankato Turcln-r - rt Luther . 53 -7 St Johns . 80 m MuculestL-r . . 67 ‘rr Gustavus Adolphus . ~12 ~:r‘, St. Thomas .45 r l Carleton . 6] St. Thomas . 44 St. Olaf . . 44 St, Marys . . . . 62 St. Johns .. . . 59 St.Olaf., 47 Mzrcalestor .., ..,. . 52 Concordia . ., 54 Gustavus Adolphus. . .51 Wushburn U. lTopckrrr .64 Drury College VETS‘— The Reader's Digest Associa- tion is making an unprece- dented offer to you. in order to introduce you to its excellent publication. For a limited time you will be given the oppor- tunity to obtain. through their community representative, this potent little magazine for half the original price. This offer is good to all ex-service men and women—but good for a limited time only. To get in on this outstanding offer—SEE SONNACK T0- DAY! Adv. pd. 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Page Four l Auggies In the Service l by Margaret Serstock As we have been able to see the vets returning this semester and have seen them enter into otir school activities. we have much reason to be thankful to God. Even as they have entered into other activities. we may attribute the rise and... Show morePage Four l Auggies In the Service l by Margaret Serstock As we have been able to see the vets returning this semester and have seen them enter into otir school activities. we have much reason to be thankful to God. Even as they have entered into other activities. we may attribute the rise and fame of our basketball team to their rcttirn. Beside the players. we have also been able to welcome Coach Carlson back. Harold Ahlbom's discharge January 2 came after 34 months in the service. One year of this time was spent in the Aleutian Islands and eight months on the mainland of Anchorage. Alaska. He received his training at Camp Walters. Texas and spent some time in California and Seattle. Washington. It happened that he was home on leave when V-E day came. and when he reported back. he was assigned to personnel work in the Separation Center at Fort Snelling He spent the last part of his time in the service at Camp McCoy .vhen the Separation Center was moved there. Kelly Roth was flying a Hell Diver in the Navy Air Corps before his separation His earlier training was at St. Olaf. St. Thomas. Albert Lea. Iowa City. Wold Chamberlain and Corpus Christi where he was eniiiiiiissioned as an Ensign. Don Sween. the basketball star whom we have seen so gracefully lt'i‘ip min the an. enlisted in the Navy Air Corps in 1943 and was at Wold Chamberlain. St. Olaf. Mankato. Athens. Ga. Memphis. Tenn. and Pensacola, Fla . for his training and got his experience flying Hell Divers zit DeLand, Fla. Don is a graduate of Central High School of Minneapolis Ernie Perry returned toward the end of the basketball season but in time to show his abilities on the basketball floor. He served his country as a member of the Navy Air Corps. Jeroy Carlson returned this fall after service in the European thea— ter. He had received training in Radio School. Submarine School and on surface craft before going overseas Concerning his overseas servico. Jeroy says—"I was assigned to LST 2 We operated from Southampton. England to Cherbourg. Le Ha c and Reven in France. Ostcn. Belgium and Hamburg. Ger- many. Many \‘ets haw; felt the warm welcome expressed by the full color :cn Welcome Vets as they have entered the Administration Building. ' thanks to Norman Sorenson who so considerately thought of it ado it Norman rtturncd last fall from overseas service with the PRINTERS OF THE ECHO t * LUND PRESS MAIN 6338 THE AUGSBUBG ECHO Baseball Squad Begins Practice Coach Edor Nelson announced that the first conference baseball game will be scheduled for April 20 with St. Marys. Prospects look very bright as 38 candidates turned out for their first meeting at the Minneapolis Armory. Included in this group are four All-State men from the Auggie Championship nine of 1943. All—Staters reporting are: "Red" Lindgren. first base. Kelly Roth. catcher. Stan Person, third baseman. and “Doc” Strommen, pitcher. Games have been scheduled with Luther. Carleton. Minnesota. and the usual conference games. 10% Dln-ouni in Aug-burl Slndcnll Mcn'n Ind lelnu‘ App-rel COLUMBIA DEPT. STORES 407 Cedar Avenue 400 Earl Hennt-pin AT. 1409 GE. 4539 SMITH DRUG SODAS . LUNCHES PRESCRIPTIONS 2200 Rivenidc Ave. MA. 9767 0... at“: in... Aug-bur. LINDSKOOG. THE FLORIST Good Flor-l Work II Popular Prices 1400 EAST FRANKLIN BRidgcport 1215 F. T. I). GeOrqe's Market GROCERIES AND MEATS 2207 Rivtnidc Geneva M76 WE DELIVER Shaker’s Barber and Beauty Shop 2306 Riverside Ave. For Appointment l'hom- thn 9385 OPEN 24 HOURS EACH DAY BLUE GOOSE CAFE Plate Lunches a la Carte Service J. 329 Cedar Avenue. Minneapolis. Minn. MAin 9673 Your insurance Problems Expertly Solved IY HARALD MORTENSEN Iu.: 7|) 2| An. S. GE. 7‘” Office: ’21 N VI. Ianl Ildg. AT. WI lick: of All Yypu of human“ SPEUAL AGENY for BANKERS LIFE (0. NORHA Cut-Rate DRUGS S. I. MOE, Prop. 427 CEDAR AVE. MINNEAPOLIS C. J. JENSEN JEWELRY CO. "SAY IT WIIH A DIAMOND" Authorind Dulcv Elgin and Hamilton Watch: Silverwan. (loci and Jewelry Guaranteed Watch. Clock and chclry chaiting 324% Cedar Avenue AT. 8439 Monday, April 1. 1946 572.6422 440»: 7/2 film“ 804: By Arnie Hagen I CLAIR SIDMMEN, LEFT. AND CAPT. EDOB NELSON One of the most pleasant tasks confronting your new sports editor is the fact that he has the opportunity to give credit to individuals who really are deserving. First of all let's take our hats ofl’ to Clair Strom- men. well known Auggie athlete. Ever since enrolling at Augsburg in 1942. Clair has been making headlines for this south side school. We will never forget how he blanked a tough Minnesota nine. and then went on to lead his mates to their first conference title in years. As far as we can see. plenty of trouble is in store for opposing conference sluggch this spring. Welcome Home Edorll Another Auggie star of a few years past has returned to our midst as a coach. It doesn‘t seem so long ago that you too were making quite a name for yourself. We are all looking for- ward to a very interesting baseball season. Well the 1946 basketball season is over and it was a lot of fun. It was one of the brightest seasons in the history of our school. Let's go over some of the Highlights . . The Gusties found themselves in an odd situation prior to their game with Bob Carlson‘s men. By win- ning this game at the Armory they would have found themselves in third place in the MSC standings. but by losing they advanced to second place. In this championship game Jeroy Carlson. unanimous choice for Ali‘state. put on one of the most brilliant individual performances seen on the Armory floor since “Si” Melby’s all-star aggregation in 1927. Carlson not only held a highly regarded “Junior” Skogland to three field goals. but also turned in a superlative floor game. Mr. Skog- land looked very good to this department and we can easily see why Carlson rates this Gusty ace as the best player he has played against this season. Wonder what goes through Mr. Joe Hutton‘s mind when he sees his former Piper ace burn up the conference floors for the college from St. Peter'I? Speaking of Hamline Plenty of rumors are going around the conference in regards to their reinstatement in the Minne- sota State Conference. Our guess is that the Pipers would be more than willing. Of course this is your reporter’s point of view, and much remains to be done and said before such a move could be made pos- sible. Hamline's return to the conference should be beneficial to both the conference and the Piper school. After Augsburg defeated Washburn of Topeka in the opening game of the tournament one of the opposing coaches commented about the “White-Hot" brand of basketball played by the Augs. The only sad phase of this successful season for the Auggies is the fact that our old friend “Si” Melby was missing. We can just picture how proud he would have been of our Champs. Melby coached Augs- burg's last championship basketball team in 1927. Man!!! wouldn't “Si” liked to have seen that St. Thomas game (in St. Paul). the Gustie game here. and the National meet. You can be sure his classes would not have met during the Kansas City Meet . . . "Si"would have been in the front row cheering his favorites on. Get Your Haircut at Oscar’s Barber Shop One Block from Campus 2205 Riverside Johnson’s Bakery 2433 Riverside Ave. CEncvn 5223 E‘ Bay YEAR . . . hifll‘l' it. tint year. Lutheran lirnlherhmpd has nhown a steady and consistent growth. It ha» al- ways operated on the sound foun- dation of the time~leuted legal rc- u-rw' plan. baited on the Ameri- can Experience Table of Mor- tality. Lulhcrnn Brotherhood is purely mutual-it belongs wholly to in policy owner-u. College Represent-live MINNEAPOLIS 2 LUTHERAN BROTHERHOOD Legal Reserve Lilo Insurance [or Lutheran: Herman L. Ekem. President GARFIELD S. JACOBSON Jelperwn Agency BUILD YOUR ESTATE NOW I * Your Future Minneapolis. Minnesota Starla Today MINNESOTA Show less
he Phil Adamo, still a clown? Augsburg College 41-) The College’s Student-Produced Newspaper MURPHY SQUARE ‘ . Murphy Square, 1928-2011 Friday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Volume CXVII, lssuc 8 As our readers may have noticed, today is April Fools Day. As always, we decided to celebrate... Show morehe Phil Adamo, still a clown? Augsburg College 41-) The College’s Student-Produced Newspaper MURPHY SQUARE ‘ . Murphy Square, 1928-2011 Friday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Volume CXVII, lssuc 8 As our readers may have noticed, today is April Fools Day. As always, we decided to celebrate by giving you an entirely farcical issue of the E cho. Please note that all of the content in this issue, including quotes and citations, have been made up by the writers and editors for this issue. Noth- ing printed here should be seen as the personal beliefs of the Echo or those who wrote them. If you have comments, questions, or concerns. please email: iversonr@ugsburg.edu or visit our website at www.augsburgecho. wardpress. com. DAWN OF THE HIPOCALYPSE Kncre LUCCHIN‘I Closet Hipster Today, on April I, Minneapo- lis Mayor R.T. Rybak announced his total evacuation plan for the City ofMinneapolis as well as its surrounding counties. Officials had been worried for months about the possibility of the hipster apocalypse or hipocalypse and the consequences it could have on not only the citizens but the city itself. “The city is under attack" said Mayor Rybak. “We must evacuate before H2H, Hipster too Human, infects all of our citizens." H2H, Hipster too Human, was discovered in early Septem- ber 2009. Ofi‘icials began seeing the crippling effects immediately. “Within weeks we could see the destruction it had on our city. Their bikes were everywhere,” said Chief of Police Timothy Dolan. “Some stacked two, three bikes tall. There dark rimmed glasses broken all over the streets. We even noticed increased sales in record stores and underground book stores." There were shocking reports of singing and guitar playing hap- pening on various street comers, as well as handmade flyers being passed out by the hipsters. The flyers had slogans such as, “Sweat- shops are death. . . man,“ “Save the baby Whales... dood,” and "Help make PBR cheaper.” Local resident, Gerda Johan- son, stated, “Ya‘ know, I went to some of those damn hipster things and I hate ‘em. The nasty things are always leaving at all hours of the night. The house always smells like a skunk and those darn cigarette butts are everywhere. Ya‘ know, I told my husband Frank to get out there and do something about ‘em, but the damn hipsters convinced him the buns were some OFFICIALS FEAR A VIRUS-LIKE. HIPSTER EPIDEMIC THAT COULD SWIPE THE TWIN CITIES “biodegradable hoopla.“ However, while many citizens fear for their lives, many support the H2H epidemic. Local liquor store owner, Marty Hodge stated, “I like the hipsters. They don't bother me none. Ya‘ know. I‘m always sold out of that there Pabst Blue Ribbon but I hear it’s ‘cool‘ with the kids. It took me a while to get used to the paying in quarters but the wife likes it so she can park downtown.” While some show their sup- port, Mayor Rybak and Tim Dolan are determined to end this epi- demic and save as many lives as possible. “The people of Minne- apolis think this is small pennies, but it’s not,” said Dolan. “It won’t be funny when the dam university Minneapolis officials have been worried for months about the possibility of the hipster apocalypse or "hipocalypse" and the consequences it could have on the city and its residents. shuts down because the kids all wanna go to art school. It won‘t be funny when Hard Times opens at another location, or two. We have to stop this now.“ The evacuation will take place Friday, April 8. Citizens are urged to take only necessities including clothes. foods, and valuables. However, police urge citizens to take all grandma clothing. vintage anything, and hard liquor or beer. “We are going to save this city and the fine citizens that call this home“ said Rybak. “Those damn hipsters don't scare me." Augsburg scraps science hall plans, plans even bigger fireworks show Mnce GALLAGHER Baseball Extraordinaire A source familiar with Augs- burg College’s budget and upcom- ing plans told me late Tuesday that, despite pleas by those with common sense, that Augsburg would be passing on the proposed construction of a new science hall and instead get “bigger and badder“ fireworks for next year‘s homecoming festivities. “You have to look at what fur- thering education really means," said the source. “Yes, a new science hall would serve a lot of practical purposes, but think of how many more fireworks you could acquire with a few million more dollars. Plus, fireworks have an immediate payofi‘, i heard a minor that said the science hall wasn‘t going to be done until the 22nd century.“ While Augsburg's reputation as a growing academic institution will be sure to take a hit, the office of the president released a state— ment defending the decision. “In this modern day, we as a college believe it is important to enthuse our minds of tomorrow. We also believe that as a Lutheran institution, at some point science and religion have to split since they don't really get along. Addition- ally, we believe that ifthe big man upsmirs had the technology we do in his time, he would‘ve taken full advantage of it. In this institution‘s collective mind, science is a thing of the past, while special effects and explosions will never go out of style. We are proud of the spur-the-moment impulsiveness ofthis decision, and look forward to showing the University ofMin- nesota that we may be smaller. but we can still be ballet." The last part of that mono- logue drew some confusion, but some light was later shed on the confrontational statement directed at the U. The planned upstaging ofthe roughly 60,000 student institution across the street seems to stem from an incident between Augs« burg President Paul C . Pribbenow and incoming University of Min— nesota President Eric Kaler. When Kaler was the president ofStony Brook University (N.Y.). Pribbenow was in New York tak- ing in a basketball game at the famous Rucker Park. Much like Pribbenow‘s philosophy. Kaler is determined to get involved in the community, and was having a picnic in Harlem with his constitu- ents. He spotted Pribbenow from across the way and instructed his posse to accompany him in ap- proaching Pribbenow. According to the story. Kaler tapped Pribbenow on the shoulder and Kaler asked him “are you giv- ing out free samples?" “I‘m not sure I know what you mean sir," said Pribbenow. Kaler persisted. insisting Prib- benow and his trademark bowtie resembled Orville Redenbacher and that he be granted a free sam- ple of his popcorn. "l am the president ofAugs- burg College Paul C. Pribbenow sir." he said. “And let me say I find your comments quite offensive." “Well come on Paulie." said Kaler. “The bowtie, the comb over, i would‘ve thought it was Halloween and you were passing out popcorn instead ofcandy." From then on the Pribbenow- Kaler feud has continued. and one has to wonder whether this fireworks display is just a per- sonal way for Pribbenow to exact revenge on Kaler. Whatever the reasoning may be. it looks as if Augsburg is headed in a direction that will be slightly less academic. and slightly more explosive. Show less
Page 2 News Minneapolis, Minnesota Lutheran Awareness Week to passive- aggressively encourage interest in Lutheranism JOEL MENK Lultjrisk Connoisseur Augsburg Campus Ministry is encouraging students to take part in ELCA Lutheran Aw areness \\'eek r\pt'll 4-“. Similar to the recent Muslim... Show morePage 2 News Minneapolis, Minnesota Lutheran Awareness Week to passive- aggressively encourage interest in Lutheranism JOEL MENK Lultjrisk Connoisseur Augsburg Campus Ministry is encouraging students to take part in ELCA Lutheran Aw areness \\'eek r\pt'll 4-“. Similar to the recent Muslim Awareness \\'eek. each day of Lutheran Awareness \\'eek will hav e a special Lutheran» inspired actn ity that students will be encouraged to participate in. Pastor Da\e \\’old said that “the idea behind Lutheran Aware- ness \\'eek is to educate the student body on what is quite frankly a wry misunderstood group of people. Did you know that the merage Augsburg student only knows the first si.\ words to ‘A Mighty Fortress Is Our God".‘" The \\ eek “I” start otT with "Actually Go To Chapel Day." w here students “I” be encour- aged to actually attend the daily chapel sen ice otTered by Campus Ministry. "So many students miss out on the rich cultural experience that the maroon Lutheran Book Of Worship has to ofl‘er." explained “old. The special chapel service will feature guest speaker Sven Oskcrvaard. a representative from the Lutefisk Dinner Preservation Society. Seating is limited. so stu- dents who wiin to sit towards the back should arrive early. Lutheran World Relief will be introducing their new fair trade coffee blend after the service. “brown water: made for the discerning Lutheran palate." Tuesday is “Talk Like A Lutheran Day." during which students will be encouraged to greet each other by saying “peace be with you." and "and also with you." Students who wish to ad- vance their Lutheran language skills are invited to a workshop at 3 p.m. in the Marshall Room hosted by guest Pastor Lars Jensen from Lindstrom. Wis. The workshop w ill focus on how to say “hear our prayer" with as little lip movement as possible, In observance of Lent, Wednesday will be "Don‘t Be Happy About Anything Day." “Many students observe Lent by giving up something: sweets. Facebook. alcohol. etc.“ said Wold. "We would like to invite students to take a day to really soak Editors-in-thef Becki lverson A&E Editor Betsy Collins Featurg FAitgr Sara Klemp News Editor Dave Madsen ()1inionx/lxlimrialt luglitor led (,4Iltt)\Cl' \portx ltdttur Mike (rallagher E—mail — ccho@augsburg.edu Phone — (612) 330-1102 reflect those ofthc ofthc students. :- subject to revision. appropriate. Augsburg College Echo Fall 2010 Staflr 73] 21st Avenue 5. CB 148 Minneapolis, Minnesota 55454 The Augsburg Echo is published each Friday —— except during vacation periods and holidays — by the students ofAugsburg College. Opinions expressed in H1: Ec/m are those of the authors and do not necessarily ' ustaff, ‘ ' ' The lie/m does not necessarily promote the products or services it advertises. Advertisements can be placed in the Echo by contacting the advertising manager. Suhmisstons are welcome and can be sent to uho@augsburg.edu. All submis— sions should be between 500-700 words and accompanied by the writer's name and contact Information. All submisswns become the property of the Echo and are The Echo reserves the right to edit submitted material because of space limita- tions. repetitive subject matter. libelous content or any other reason the editors deem Printed by l’rint Group Midwest on recycled paper. Sergio Montctrubio Mggg‘ng Elm; Becca Anderson Adi-grtising Manager CL ho@augtbutg.edu l'acultgy Advisgt Boyd Koehler Tips — echotips@gmail.com Fax — (612) 330—1666 faculty. ‘ or the ' ' in the deep somber mood that they should feel during all the weeks of Lent.“ Students who may be feeling too happy and wislt to be brought back down to earth are invited to screenings of Old YL’l/L’I' and Reqnit'mjbr a Dream that will be taking place throughout the day in the Century Room. Students are encouraged to bust out their favorite Norwegian sweaters on Thursday for “Dress Like A Lutheran Day." For stu- dents who may not have invested in a Norwegian sweater, Campus Ministry will be hosting a paint- your-own sweater party in the quad from I] a.m. —2 p.m. Blank sweat- ers as well as spray paints and rosemal stencils will be provided. The week will end with “Lu- theran Cuisine Day.“ From ll am. to l p.m.. students are invited to the East Commons to participate in an authentic Lutheran cooking demonstration. Campus Ministry has invited special guest chef Gladys Carlson to demonstrate how to make a complete meal while using a soup base in each dish. “When you are in college. it ~taAN~ ti WE can be diflicult to find foods that suit a palate that prefers for every- thing to be ‘creamy.’ My grandson goes to Gustavus. and he told me that their cafeteria serves salads made from the green leaves of it E fi‘;- plants instead ofpasta!" Carlson will also have a sign- ing/meet and greet in the library from 2pm to 3pm in promotion of her new book Jello: Reimagined. Bo Burnham to play SpringJam, insults your ailing grandmother "nan CONOVER 80's Fan 4ever Comedian and YouTube sen- sation Bo Burnham has returned to Augsburg without any son of invitation from anyone. "Look who‘s back, ass- holes?“ Burnham said. Burnham was last seen “tee- peeing" trees in Murphy Park and leaving flaming bags of dog excrement outside of the Depart- ment for Public Safety Office. Manically giggling to himselfand taping “I‘m with Stoopid” signs on people's backs even though no one was paying attention to him. Burnham vowed to perform at Augsburg‘s annual Spring Jam. “People love my jokes! Hey! Hey! What's the difference be- tween an Auggie and a feminist'.’... Auggics don‘t have hair on their backs!“ Burnham said to a group of students clearly not interested in anything he had to say. Students seem bemused at best when asked about the pres- ence ofthe comedian on campus. Organizers ofthe Spring Jam deny asking Burnham to perform. say- ing in a written statement “He kept asking ifl wanted to sleep over at his mom's house so we could watch Cinemax and drink Moun- tain Dew. i told him to ask Seth Lineard. Seth loves Mountain Dew and smutty television. But Seth's Mom didn‘t want him associating with a boy like Bo. Bad influence and all.“ When asked about his Mom‘s rule of“No Bo," Lineard said, “but mom!!" Several students were asked what they thought of Bumham‘s antics. Students cited his context in global hegemony and patriarchic politics. “His style of performance is a testament to how far we have to go to reach equality in this country,“ said Junior Sarah J ergenson. “Plus he‘s a poo-poo head and smells like, well. poo." Jergenson’s feel- ings on the subject arefairly wide- spread on campus. When asked about Bo, Presi- dent Pribbenow had this to say: “What's the difference between Bo Burnham and comedian Daniel Tosh7... Nothing. Show less
Friday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Page 3 Excerises Man hits ball with stick, hailed by onlookers DAVE MADSEN W13an In an impressive display of athletic prowess last Friday, student Mike Gallagher swung a large metal rod at an incoming ball constructed of both cork and cloth, which then... Show moreFriday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Page 3 Excerises Man hits ball with stick, hailed by onlookers DAVE MADSEN W13an In an impressive display of athletic prowess last Friday, student Mike Gallagher swung a large metal rod at an incoming ball constructed of both cork and cloth, which then sent the orb hurdling in the opposite di- rection from which it was originally thrown. In a fit of celebration, Gallagher ran in an extended, counter-clockwise motion as his peers clapped loudly to celebrate his hand-eye coordination and subsequent ability to connect the aluminum-alloy instru- ment with the rounded projectile. “Hooray,” an onlooker shouted as Gal- lagher finished his lap. “Your physical apti- tude excites me and the recently-increased number on the scoreboard afiirms my deci- sion to support this collection of players!” Prior to Gallagher’s swinging of the meter-long metallic pole, he and his peers donned matching outfits which signified the group’s solidarity against a rival col- lective of young men from a neighboring academic institution. Then, the troupe of athletes gathered around a diamond-shaped field as the opposing group of students fi'om the rival school sat on a nearby bench. One by one, a member from the non-Augsburg team attempted to defend himself, when opportune, from the aforementioned cork- cotton sphere. Afier enough time of throwing the ball and running around the grounds, the assem- bly of Auggies attempted to likewise hit the ball as the antagonizing team attempted to catch the ball in mid-air, throw the ball in the proper direction, or touch our students with the stitched, white orb. Surprisingly, those who attended the event did not appear bored or disinterested. Keith Bateman, faculty supervisor of Augsburg College’s collection of stick- swinging, ball-throwing students, was pleased with Gallagher’s performance on Friday. “Mike excelled in his effort to per- form at a high standard while remaining within the guidelines placed upon him by our division’s rulebook,” Bateman said. “Though pride for my students swells deep within me after this victory and the smell of a sweaty uniform afier a long and brutal The joy of cricket Corns STANHILL Law-Abiding Citizen Let me tell you something about cricket. “The game underwent major development in the 18th century and became the national sport of England," as They tell us. Another century passed and saw the advent of the county club system and the controversial ascent of overarrn bowling over the classical preference for roundarm (although the Isport goes as far back as Tu- dortimes when it was known as “fuzbaal"). It has since become a haven of wicket- wranglers, overarrn bowlers, loose men, bold women, roundarm revivalists, and liberal (“with a lower case ‘l,’ of course") values. Now let me tell you something about Contemplatives whose Perceptions have been Cleansed. “They do not have to stay in their rooms," as Huxley tells me. “The cricket- ers, on the Other Hand,” 1 can just see Aldy saying, ‘fcan stuff it.“ No amount of nervous scribbling on the back of my hand and humming frantically to Bowie’s “Heroes,” which had been on the radio this morning, could keep the Man from waxing loquacious about the need for an abandoning of the achievement principle to the abafi Freudo- Dialecticians and ego-mongers and supplant it, betimes, with contemplative satisfaction, unimpressed by “the pursuit of power or the drearier forms of pleasure.“ (Years later he would use that one in a fimny little pamphlet called “The Doors of Perception.“ But I always remembered it as | . ABE : vou I LOOKING AT? my own little souvenir of that mid-Spring picnic.) - As for the cricketers, they stuffed it and made way for real sports. Like professional wrestling. Like professional wrestling— Let me tell you two things about profes- sional wrestling. It’s a hardcore spectacle. "Hardcore," despite its common usage as an adjective, is in fact the only adverb in the English language without an adjectival derivation. Serendipitously, this colloquial adjectival usage has given the word a unique capability to turn nouns into verbs, in a deli- cate flourish fusing form to content, thereby betraying even more of its true meaning in the usage than in the definition. It describes. uncannin the feeling of contact with another man‘s ribs, through a solid inch of sinewy flesh. against the bare—skin bone of your own lefi knuckle. Pretty sure that‘s Webster‘s; might have been von Sacher—Masoch‘s. The other operative word in the phrase. adjudicably, was “spectacle.” This umbrella term encompasses Their vast arsenal of dis- tractions,‘ assurances and other soma. From the spectacle of advertising, which infiltrates both public and mental space. to aesthetic spectacle at the cinema (all of it anesthetic in effect). All of which serve to instill and perpetually reinforce false senses of reality, self-identification and experience on the masses in order to obscure the degradations of consumerist life. “it is not a collection of images, rather. it is a social relationship between people that is mediated by images,“ as Debord warbled to the oozing wretches. match reminds me of a time more simple, I must restrain myself from an extensive use of hyperbole; suffices to say, I am very happy with the outcome of our work as an independently-fueled yet singularly—focused cooperative.” Gallagher, who has been methodically perfecting the physical movements neces- sitated by this season-specific activity since he was a child, took his enormous triumph The overeager and strumptuous young men and women of the golden noughts would realize, within a two-decade. that the technocracy. having not only fully intemal~ ized, but henceforth projected back out the consumerists spectacle, resulting in the discreet manifestation of their self-defined and perpetually self-defining hyperreality. itself hermetically sealed from any physi- cal exoreality (their space colony‘s only imports being products part and parcel of the consumerist spectacle itselfand its only exports being crippling laissez-faire expec- torant). the elite have sealed themselves into a constant feedback loop which constricts upon itself toward a singularity - known ofhitting a ball with a stick in due stride. When asked how he managed the endeavor, Gallagher responded. “It‘s a relatively simple concept: I simply sought to maximize the force of contact between the stick and the ball through an efficient use of inertia. In order to do so. i had to determine torque—which is essentially the positioning of my arms to the aluminum rod as it relates to the angular velocity of the swinging movement—and the distance between the Contact point and the axis of rotation.“ “it‘s simple physics," Gallagher added. Reports from athletic sources indicated that Gallagher and his companions will again attempt to out-do another group of students from a neighboring Midwest col- lege next Tuesday. Though spectators are not guaranteed to witness the exact same feat of strength and coordination from Gallagher. there is speculation that at least one student from Augsburg will hit a ball with a stick and run around a section ofthe field. Plus, sources said, it‘s a great excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday afiemoon. as the spectre ofthe spectacle. it has been suggested that this ultimate homogenization toward a single unit of spectacular con- sciousness will explode in a second big hang from inside the already extant universe. and the meta—universe which emerges from the spectre ofthe spectacle shall be a single all- consuming and ever-expanding Cocafola adven. The other thing about professional wrestling is that “in order to score by pin- lall. a wrestler must pin both his opponent‘s shoulders against the mat while the referee slaps the mat three times (referred to as a ‘threc count').“ As They tell us. Show less
Page 4 Hems 8c Hcrws Minneapolis, Minnesota Echo opinions editor plagiarizes articles Conover later hired at Fox News TED Conover: Storyteller Ted Conover. opinions/edi- torials editor for the Echo is a hackneyed hack of a writer and boring to boot. Unable to think ofany original ideas for the... Show morePage 4 Hems 8c Hcrws Minneapolis, Minnesota Echo opinions editor plagiarizes articles Conover later hired at Fox News TED Conover: Storyteller Ted Conover. opinions/edi- torials editor for the Echo is a hackneyed hack of a writer and boring to boot. Unable to think ofany original ideas for the Joke Issue. he decided to shamelessly lift blog posts and Pitchfork Media one—liners into his section e copy and paste style. In an inteniew. I asked him what he thought the meaning ofirony was. “I think I know what that means." said Conover. “Doesn‘t it mean. like. rain on your wedding day. or something?" Conover‘s road to medioc- rity has been a long time coming. After submitting a piece on what he called the “fascinating dynam— ics of billboard manufacturing." editor Becki l\erson realized her opinions editor was a dud. lverson. Afier going over what college students think is funny over and over again. (for example. poop jokes. guys who yell “Don‘t taze me, bro!.“ Old Spice advertise- ments, and Keyboard Cat) lverson gave up and in no uncertain terms told her opinions editor he needed to spruce up on his popular culture. “Just go on the lntemet and learn what it means to be a col- lege student. College Humor, The Onion. anything! There‘s bound to be something funnier than what he could come up with. even on Al lazeera! Did this kid grow up un- der 3 rock or something?" lverson said. Taking his editor‘s advice as literally as possible. and with a stony look of grave seriousness (and with a bit of drool on his chin). Con0ver copied articles he thought would be funny. At first this had disastrous results. Unable to discern the sar- castic from the genuine (especially in print), Conover submitted pla- giarized articles he thought were jokes. such as “Rybakv to speak at Augsburg“ (“I thought we were in St. Pauli”). “Brett Favre to Retire" (“wait, I thought he pitched for the Yankees!“). and “Walker to Cut Teacher Positions“ (“I think I‘ve heard ofthese Chuck Norrisjokes before. . ."). But over time. Conover be- came more adept at ripping offar- ticles and printing them under his by—line. Finally. he found the right places to find articles he could plagiarize. However. he got in hot water when he tried to submit a serious. personal piece entitled “My Life as a Cameroonian Wife.“ Conover was recently ex- pelled from Augsburg for his jour— nalistic debauchery. but promptly landed a position with the Fox 9 Twin Cities as a writer. Conover, above, was caught plagiarizan articles in The Echo. Upon being expelled from Augsburg, Conover was Immediater hlred as a script writer for Fox News. “Billboards? Really?!“ said April fool’s COLLEGE STANHILL Arrgslvrugs Metonymnxis You may not want to hear it. but I love you. And you know who you are. And you know why you are. Why is anything? To be. That‘s the answer. the experiential infini- ti\ e. Augsburg, l l0\e you. Enough to lay \\ reaths ofballoon air: dripping love honey: at your footstep and bar the embearassment of your walking by and calling it all talk. You may not want to hear it. but it's all talk and it loves you. so faras you mum its aural arcane: Love love love. Love loves In love In ve. Lore can turn all things, and I can turn love inmfishes. Love is olher people. You are other people. Augsburg, and] [are you. That‘s why I brought some Emerson to share. I thought you may want to hear it. It‘s from Nature. "lfthe stars should appear one night in a thousand years. how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many genera— tions the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty. and light the universe with their admonishing smile." My greatest pleasure, On this holiday of chicanery and cynicism, would be for you to share with me forjust a moment in victimless delight at the wording ofJames Joyce, “The word of Mr Costello was an un- welcome language for him for he nauseated the wretch that seemed to him a cropeared creature ofa misshapen gibbosity born out of wedlock and thrust like a crookback tcethed and feet first into the world, which the dint of the surgeon‘s pliers in his skull lent indeed a colour to, so as it put him in thought of that missing link of creation’s chain desiderated by the late ingenious Mr Darwin." “What is the hypotenuse ofhyperreal- ity? What is the cosine ofhappiness? How does polar bears know what apples is?" you ask. I say, “Put it on the pizza and get I love you to living well!" You may not want to hear it, Augsburg. but We can love the numbers right out of you. Dig it. Augsburg. it’s a revolution! Dig it. Augsburg: Aldous Huxley! “What iris and rose and carnation so intensely signified was nothing more. and nothing less, than what they were — a tran- sience that was yet eternal life. a perpetual perishing that was at the same time pure Being. I continued to look at the flowers. and in their living light I seemed to detect the qualitative equivalent of breathing but ofa breathing without returns to a starting point. with no recurrent ebbs but only a repeated flow from beauty to heightened beauty." It’s a revolution. Augsburg. not out of resistance. mind you. but a revolution of love, revolting embrace. loving so many things so much that they soften under the mild pressure of persistent good vibes to be- come as malleable and remarkably remak- able. existence anew. Don‘t let Them make a fool ofyou this day! Have an unscheduled whirlwind romance with reality! My feet are as dry ice and I love you Augsburg, you understand. I feel in a state oflucid sanity. like I’m in sanity itself. I hope you like E.E. Cum- mings. “Bob Cowgill’s beard hair is longer than his real hair. Just saying." As Aaron Wells once told us. i love you: you: like I‘m insanity itself. Also, did you know the entire world could fit in Uranus and still leave plenty of room for gas? That’s how much I love you. On useless papers , and expired pringles‘ Dear Professor, I am an intelligent, educated individual with a wealth of ideas and a general openness toward learning and academic endeavors. That said, I cannot bear to complete your ridiculous assignment. . It is a four to five page paper assigned three weeks ago. I have sat down in an efl'on to work on it probably 15 times in the last week, and have been largely unsuccessful each time. Not only is the assignment uninteresting and unimportant, but it also is poorly described on the as- signment sheet which has led to hours and hours of aimless searching for the information you seem to be asking me to regurgitate for you. It is as if you are sending us off into a cave that is pitch-blacktofind' a needle you have hidden in a haystack somewhere in the back. This . unnecessary quest is something I do not appreciate. Instead of sufi'ering through this assignment. I have Facebook stalked people I don’t care about at all, instant messaged people I also don’t care about at all, web-surfed for nothing in particular, shopped online, downloaded music, watched. ‘ movies and bad television, drank absurd quantities of Diet Coke, Red Bull, and coffee, prepared several snacks and meals, smoked hookah, ate a Pringle that was “best sold by" May of 2009 (worst decision ever), applied for jobs, sent emails, wrestled with a dog, laundered clothes, deep-cleaned a kitchen, showered, beautified, contemplated other assign- ' merits, played for hours alone with a beach ball, and I even wrote this rant 1‘ in letter-fonn. All of it was more enjoyable than the time I have spent attempting to focus my mind on this ridiculous life-wasting assignment. In fact, instead of doing this assignment, I would probably rather eat an entire can of expired, 2009 Pringles or a carton of rotten eggs with .' curdled milk, shave off my eyebrows, cut off a toe or two, run 75 miles through the Gobi desert, avoid Diet Coke for 5 years, starve myself for a month, abstain from listening or playing music for a month, give up my driver’s license and all of my fieedom in general so...be locked in a tower for months, and I would probably consider giving up my first. born child if it’s a boy. - Unfortunately, I will not give up my degree or my graduation deadline of May. Therefore, I will suffer through channeling the mental fortitude of chess champions, Harry Potter, and the religiously oppressed. I Will stay up all night tonight and all night tomorrow because I have spent- three weeks doing everything but this assignment and it must get done. So professor, I hope you are happy, and I hope you sleep well tonight H while I slave away. . t. Warmly, Lindsey Grafl‘ Show less
Friday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Hems 8: Haws No change in the Echo} administration Iverson to remain as editOr-in-chief for the foreseeable future Augsburgians, I have an announcement to make. As many of you might be aware, I am nearing the end of my third consecu— tive year as... Show moreFriday, April 1, 2011 Minneapolis, Minnesota Hems 8: Haws No change in the Echo} administration Iverson to remain as editOr-in-chief for the foreseeable future Augsburgians, I have an announcement to make. As many of you might be aware, I am nearing the end of my third consecu— tive year as editor-in-chief of the Echo. I have approached this looming date with I foresee my career path as one that benefits everyone it affects. and I am much fear and trepidation, and I think I have found a solution to the problem of attempting to locate my replacement next year. While many people might view three consecutive years editing a student produced newspaper as an absurdly long tenure, I beg to differ. My institutional knowledge and journalistic skills are impeccable, and I think the newspaper and proud that I have chosen a life that will never leave the hallowed halls ofAugsburg College. There is not much to discover off campus, anyway. I appreciate the support readers have given me over the years, and I am sure the overwhelming accolades the Echo constantly receives will continue as long the school will only be helped by having more of the same in the future. It is for this reason that I will be remaining as editor-in-chief of the Echo for as long as I like. It’s a tough world outside of my institutional cocoon, and I simply don‘t feel like expending the effort it will take for me to be hired in a ‘real job.’ (Not that] could get hired anywhere anyway. If Brian Krohn has to go to graduate as I am here. Ifthings go as well as I hope. I might even start running “borrowed” articles from other papers alongside ours without accreditation, just to see if read- ers can tell which is which. If anyone has questions or suggestions for ways to improve the newspaper school to put off paying back his loans, there is no hope for the rest of us). I have decided not to consult anyone else on making this decision. It is im- Cheers. portant to have a unilateral, pseudo-totalitarian vision for a student organization, and I feel making this choice on my own is the only way to go about it. The Echo can lead all other students on campus by example in this respect from here on out. Continuing my position as editor-in-chief is also a solution to the Echo‘s chronic lack of participation. The more warm bodies we can get to participate in our escapades, the better As long as I don‘t have to worry about things like show- ing up to class and doing homework anymore, 1 will have much more fi'ee time to force English majors into self constructed cages in the Echo office to pump out articles for my journalistic machine. (Rand Engllsh professor Robert Cowglll asserts that Stanhtll's pants represent “a worrying current at antl-lntellectuellsm spreadan across college campuses that needlemly rejects great classics, such as the tweed locket, In favor ct empty and superflclal pleasures such as comfort." Becki Iverson Eternal Editor, Augsburg Echo (other than article sharing and reprinting previous work) in the future. please feel free to contact me at my personal email address (echirson4evaz@paragonofmc- diocrity.com) or stop by the Echo office. which will double as my apartment as long as I remain without a real job. President Obama, Lady Gaga, and the Ghost of Al- len Ginsberg Vow to Fund Murphy Square Forever BRIANNA OLSON-CARR Looking For A lab Word of the famous Murphy Square literary and visual arts journal getting decommissioned has spread like wildfire these past few weeks. Hundreds of students have been pounding on the doors of the Auggie's Nest demanding: “WHAT DO WE WANT? ART! WHAT DO WE WANT IT? COM- MISSIONED!“ President Barack Obama could hear the cries ofthe Auggies all the way from Wash- ington. He sent a public address to the college, or “State of the Augsburg": “As you know, I‘m from Min- nesota. I once spent a long week- end at Mall ofAmerica and lkea. But seriously. I want to address the decommissioning of Murphy Square: it's no secret that those of us here have had our differences over the last two months. The debates have been contentious; we have fought fiercely for our beliefs. And that's a good thing. That's what a robust democracy demands. However, six people in a room who have not heard of such an incredible literary work as Murphy Square need to get out of the Christensen Center basement! 1, President Barack Obama, will personally see to it that Murphy Square is read all over the nation." This overwhelming national support for Augsburg‘s literary journal caught the attention of international superstar. Lady Gaga. She wrote to President Pribbenow to encourage self—expression in the face of“The Man“: “You're on the right track. baby, you know? It‘s all about the art. I sing an. I wear an. I am an. You know. you can promise you‘ll be kind, but you won't stop until you have the funding. Hey, I‘m your biggest fan. 1‘" fund you ‘cuz you all love me. And because I love the arts." The support from Lady Gaga had Aug- gie‘s noses pressed up against the windows ofthe printer for Murphy Square, which has been personally overseen by Bill Keller. the execu- tive editor for The New York Times. Ted Conover, editor-in-chief of Murphy Square said of working with Keller: “He‘s a pretty okay guy. He had a couple good ideas for thejoumal. I mean. it‘s not the same because he‘s not part ofthe Murphy Square cult. He refuses to get the required tattoo of Bob Cowgill‘s Ray-Bans on his thigh. But yeah, he‘s um..,nice." Murphy Square commotion even brought back Allen Gins- berg frorn his grave. Ghost Allen Ginsberg. or as he prefers to be called now, Ghostberg, \owed to inten‘upt all future Commissioning Committee meetings by shouting uncomfonablc poetry about mas- turbation for the rest of all time. He has been whispering in the ears ofProfessor Doug Green and sprinkling demons down his turtle- necks. Green reported Ghostberg's intentions to haunt any Senator. and their extended social network, who does not want to commission Murphy Square. Obama, Gaga, and Ghostbcrg have made themselves clear: they plan to fund Murphy Square FOR- EVER. Show less
Page 6 Variety Minneapolis, Minnesota Augsburg ultimate frisbee team releases most widely renowned lit mag in Augsburg’s history BETSY COLLINS 7i:th Frisbee As an English major involved in the art community. I‘m fairly \ ested in the creativ e endeavors of my peers. [n the wake of Murphy Square... Show morePage 6 Variety Minneapolis, Minnesota Augsburg ultimate frisbee team releases most widely renowned lit mag in Augsburg’s history BETSY COLLINS 7i:th Frisbee As an English major involved in the art community. I‘m fairly \ ested in the creativ e endeavors of my peers. [n the wake of Murphy Square Iv I.\ISr]) untimely and hor— rific death. I thought that l. and the campus as a vvhole. \\ ould lack this opportunity. No longer would I be able to access the creative writing and art of the people I‘ve been educated alongside. Fortunately. a new lit mag has stepped up to fill .lISq It void. The majesty and sheer bril— liance of The Flyer. the recent publication from Augsburg‘s own ultimate frisbee team. eclipses Murphy Square once and for all. and makes me confident that it has been an utter and complete waste of money for the past 82 years. Money that could be getting local rap groups to play on campus. Where .‘Ilu'pltt Square failed. The F/lcl‘ succeeds. The high vis— ibility ofthis commissroned orga- nization has allowed full campus in\ol\ement. ln fact. at least one submission front each and e\ er_\ Augsburg day student is show cased in tltegioumal because of this. After all. only student orgs \\ ho eng it the entire campus should be guaranteed any FRED TORVIK .-\lllt‘fl(tlll Post» Tii'ecn "Friday". by Rebecca Black. sprung forth from the depths of \ouTube purgatory into the \\ est- ern cultural lesicon a mere si\ tortnights prior to the time of this \\ riting. _\ et young Black laged l3) seems as though she \\ ere always intended to be here. During the last great wave of American Post-T“ een. Britney Spears. Jessica Simpson. and Man- dy Moore came Closer to discov er- ing the flawlessly studio-polished opus than previously thought possible. Yet. e\en the seemingly almighty Spears failed to meet the demands ol‘the discerning public. which expected nothing short of absolute Disney Lab perfection. Spears. who was tragically force—fed to Kevin Federline in 2004. seemed to many proof enough that the Lord your God hath prohibited such a force from entering earth. Nonsenscl, I say, for now. we have Rebecca Black. Listening to the singular, fo— cused sound of Black‘s voice, one can hear an artist who‘s arrived fully-formed: free from the con- straints of “tone-color.“ resolute in her commitment to the only six notes she deems worthy ofher singing, and above all. devoid of true investment in anything save basking in the weekend‘s delicious inception. The true. rib-crushing weight funding. While Murphy Square only highlighted students with a vested interest and aptitude for writing and art. The F/yer has compiled a completely avant garde manu- script. Quality be damned. Conti- nuity be damned. Recognition be damned. The real art is contained in the fact that there is no art. No organization. No thoughtful cura- tion. In the end. everyone's a loser because everyone‘s a winner. Content ranges from thought- ful tweets from Twitter Major Joel Menk “Check out this meme. dude." to a 3 second clip ofa Fris- bee toss from the ultimate frisbee team‘s own Ben Krouse-Gagne slowed down to eight minutes titled. “Poetry in Motion,“ Poetry it is. Ben. Poetry it is. My favorite piece is a cell phone photograph by Alex BischolT with his thumb obscuring the lens. I guess itjust really makes me think about life. and stuff. The most radical thing about the lit mag is the form, Though The Flyer got the full surplus of the frisbee team‘s yearly al- lotted budget trougth 310.000 after all of those new frisbees) the team decided against con- tinuing the leg ‘y of the printed book. t'Cause. like. books are dead. man). Instead that ten grand of the song isn't readily apparent unless listened to in conjunction with the music video. which \tasn‘t directed by Francis Ford Coppola or D.W. Griffith to ho are currently collaborating on Jack ll. starring Chris Tucker and Jackie Chart.) The \ideo begins with RC- becca Black opening her eyes. ris~ ing spriter at 7:00am. l'ler energy flows freely upon reentering cogni- /ance. and she greets the sixth day of the Babylonian calender week with a vigor resen cd henceforth for‘gettin‘ do“ n" and hay Ing “fun fun fun fun.“ 133.33 percent more fun than the Beach Boys ever had.) Her tenacity must be conserved. for immediately upon waking up. the day‘s responsibilities impose themselves. She‘s gotta be fresh. gotta go downstairs. She‘s gotta have a bowl. and what‘s more. she‘s gotta have cereal, Cereal! By the time she gets to the bus stop. she sees her friends, and we see a glimmer of happiness in a face that had previously been smiling only in its acute aware- ness ofwhat was expected of her. As her friends arrive (just in time for an evenly rounded first verse to end), Rebecca casually ponders the merits of kickin’ in the front seat and chillin' in the back seat. And now, with a wry, knowing smile, Black, fully aware the only open seat is the middle in back, asks her listeners to place her wherever they‘d have her. The Flyer, a publlcatton from Augsburg's Ultlmate'Frlsbee team ‘ "Friday’j or, Rebecca Black sings about you not being important because life is unfair With that, the video cuts to a gleeful Black, surround by thirteen year-old friends and drivers (hope- fully!) Again. slie‘s “gotta get down," what with it being Friday and all. but having accepted her place in the car (as though THAT isn‘t a metaphor for her social dichotomy) she seems at ease with her obligations. Before you know it, the video is a whirlwind ofstanding in convertibles. outside concert/parties, and a guest rapper, Chuck D, who can rhyme and drive at the same time. ln the video, Chuck seems without a care. His flow is effort- less, revealing the influence ofhis longtime partner Flava-Flav. Also smacking of Sir Flav is the levity with which Chuck tackles his sub- ject matter. Gone is Black Panther who once spat fire over beats by The Bomb Squad. Here, Chuck is at ease, by himself, balancing serenity and enthusiasm in a way only someone unconcerned with their spot in a car can. As the focus shifts back to Black. we see now her struggle. Her proclamation, “Fun! Fun! Fun! Fun!” rings false. We see -her. fully aware of her week's shortcomings, snider reveling in the adoration of her peers, who remain unaware of the Black‘s solidified emotional disconnect. With each chant of. “Friday, Fri- day, Gotta get down on Friday“ Black courts contradiction. There’s went straight to paying for their domain name (wwaitmagdude. com) and web hosting for exactly one year. “Not only is it green or something,“ says Krouse-Gagne of the decision, “but it also speaks to the imperrnanence of life too, ya know? Think about it.“ I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, actually. Never would Murphy Square been able to foster such a beautiful idea of a temporary website that will never be accessable to our children or the future in general. While MSq wasted its time trying to make an important contribution to Augs- burg as an institution, The Flyer is more concentrated on Facebook promotion. I hear they’ve gotten thirty-five thousand hits on their website so far. Website hits are where the future of literature lies. If Murphy Square wants to get its funding back (and its good reputation with former fans who are now faithful Flyer followers) it should concentrate more of its effort and budget on those web hits. I mean. why read a book when you can just google it, right? So shake in your boots. Murphy Square. and ask yourselfthis before you apply for any more funding » How many of those intemet website visitor hits did you get this year“? an unmistakable crucifying mirth in her gaze that asks the viewer, “What else are you going to do on your day off, you sad, lonely little man?!” I regret never having realized the extent to which the very idea of a Friday highlights the time in our lives spent pathetically slav- ing away. Friday, our perennial dangling carrot, leads us into the abyss week-by-week, promising (falsely) that escape lies in dis- traction. Rebecca Black is keenly aware of this at 13, and I, hav- ing never given Thursday, Bratz Dolls, or Jamba Juice any serious thought, eagerly await her next release. Show less
Friday, Ap 1, 2011 i Minneapolis, Minnesota Page , Variety Novel mash-up is book of the century KACIE Luccrmn Still NotA Hipster This past weekend I read the book of a lifetime. I hate to drill this point home but of the 20 something books I’ve reviewed for the Echo, of the hundreds of books I’ve... Show moreFriday, Ap 1, 2011 i Minneapolis, Minnesota Page , Variety Novel mash-up is book of the century KACIE Luccrmn Still NotA Hipster This past weekend I read the book of a lifetime. I hate to drill this point home but of the 20 something books I’ve reviewed for the Echo, of the hundreds of books I’ve read for fun, this book is literally the most amazing book that has ever been written. The Harry Potter Girl with the Twilight Tattoo written by J.K. Rowling, Steig Larsson. and Stephanie Meyer is a classic novel that will go down in history for its literary merit, entrancing plot line, and unforgettable char- acters. The novel opens with Sella Bawn getting a magic letter from Warthogs College in some sketchy town in England. Sella, not being especially smart, accepts the letter because it‘s the only college she can get into. As she arrives, Sella begins to experience a lot of things. Other peers at her college judge her for the heart shaped scar on her for- head. the one she gave to herself afier falling madly in love with Edwardo Cullenito. Sella however is determined to overcome the heartbreak she feels for Edwardo by using her photographic memory to solve murders and catch rapists. However, complications arise when Edwardo shows up at Wart- hogs. Sella is torn between her feelings for Edwardo and her feelings for her female professor Mucwango. Professor Mucwango is a confident determined woman who thinks she is a cat while Ed- wardo is a dark, emo high schooler who thinks he is 250 years old. As the love triangle begins to build, Sella must also deal with her dark past: a father that is a creepy old cop/mobster who is trying to kill her. a mother who keeps visit— ing her in mirrors. and old friends Battle: Los AWESOME Iosu SIBLEY Stafl Writer Battle: Los Angeles is more than just a movie: it’s an experi- ence. This isn’t just the Citizen Kane of alien invasion flicks — it's the best science fiction film of all time. Despite what the title sug- gests, this film is so much more than a battle in LA; it’s a character study of how people deal with the annexation of one of America’s gleaming cities. The film starts out in a battle over LA in which we get a sense of how spine-chilling, and ma- levolent the aliens really are as they shoot at our heroes in a helicopter. The extra terrestrials in Steven Spielberg’s film used lasers to incinerate people and then harvested their blood and used it to change the Earth. That was all too far-fetched and “out there” in Battle: LA — the space men use machine guns. Machine guns surgically attached to them. It’s a moment of genius from the film’s writers. By giving them a weapon that we have, there is no way we could stop them. The film‘s greatest strength is the writing. Our heroes are all marines and thefilm avoids cliches and gives us Christopher Nolan levels ofexposition. Each charac- ter is so well drawn out and written that you feel like they could be a real person. Like Aaron Eckhart's character Captain...well his name eludes me right now, but we feel for him and his goals that he can't achieve because of the invasion. They story is not predictable in the least bit. It surprised me when they defeated one of the mother ships with a single mis- sile and disabled all of the flying drones. You would think that it would take a nuclear bomb or something to destroy the spaceship of that size, but that’s the genius of the writing keeping us on our toes. The cinematography is so glamorous and bewildering that it brings tears to my eyes just reflect- ing upon the sheer magnificence of the actions sequences. The open- ing battle sequence in Saving Pri— vate Ryan looks like child‘s play compared to any battle in Battle: LA. The camera shakes so much it gives us the sense that we are who try and convince her that she can use a piece of wood to make books float (wingardium leviosalt. Love, drama, and magic all culminate in this timeless classic you won‘t be able to put down. 1 know 1 could barely follow the plot. none the less drop the book! This is surely a book that genera- tions will be talking about. getting tattoos for. and keeping Hot Topic in business, 1 would like to dedicate this article to the best former Hot Topic employee. as well as my favorite editor for The Echo. Betsy Collins, EAITLEiUSANtELEs in the war with the otherworldly- machine-gun-wielding-beings. The editing really nails the pace of what an actual crusade against aliens would be like: total chaos. While most people would experi- ence epileptic seizures due to the fast cuts and vertiginous camera, the cinephiles will ardor the real- ness the battles have. You can’t enjoy Battle: LA like you would any normal piece of cinema —— you have to live it. Visually it‘s the decade's best film and on a the large scale ofcinema history it will be revered as a clas» sic and will take it‘s place among The Wizard of Oz. Casablanca, The Godfather and Star Wars. This is not a movie that will be forgotten easily. It shakes you to your core and reminds you of what it feels like to be human. Usually I would give a star rating but stars are not worthy enough to rate Battle: LA. It is above the stars. Bro in quad learns chords to Jason Mraz classic, female students adore in droves DAVE Manson Asshole A totally chill sound emanated from steps of Christensen Center last Thursday as senior student Aren Olson reportedly learned the chord progressions for the 2001 hit, “Body is a Wonderland“ by famed singer John Mayer. As Olson jammed out the simple. sen- sual melody, a few pre-tanned girls sporting Ugg boots, jeggings, and fluorescent headbands reported: “Omigod, 1 love that song!" Olson chose the song upon successfully learning the 2005 Jack Johnson song, “Better Together" and—according to sources—he needed another slow. acoustic ballad in order to seduce drunken sophomores at the various parties in Anderson. Olson appropriated the commercially successful song in his signature style of working in certain women‘s names as they passed by him. The latest ad-lib: “One mile to every inch of/your skin like porcelain/one pair of candy lips and/your bubblegum tongue, Molly Dunne." ‘ The public response has been mixed since Olson debuted his hit cover of the Mayer tune. While many female students have adored hearing the familiar, “really cute" song on their way to the gym, a few renegade Music majors have scoffed at his attempts to give new life to the Grammy-winning single. “I remember when music used to have integrity,“ senior Fred Tor- vik said as he passed by Olson’s virtual mating call of a perfor- mance. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go listen to more Animal Collective.“ Torvik was later seen wildly air-drumming to the neo- psychedelic, nonsensical tracks of Mem'weather Post Pavilion. Other art students have reject- ed the student musician’s attempt to woo his female counterparts. “That guy is a creep,“ reported senior Natalya Flaten. “He once told me that he wanted to ‘swim in a deep sea ofblankets‘ with me. I think I threw up in my mouth a little." Even Prof. Bob Cowgill joined the hate as he flicked a half-smoked cigarette at Olson as the guitar~strumming bro finished the third verse. “Honestly, I don’t give a shit about that song he‘s singing.“ Cowgill said. “1 just needed to get back at him for stealing the spotlight from me: where else am 1 going to receive fruitful glances from young. art-obsessed college girls?“ However, as evidenced by the sheer amount of delighted. audible gasps from the women ofAugsburg, Olson‘s song hasn‘t gone without his praise. Junior Daley Konchar Farr re- ported. “Even though Aren doesn‘t appeal to my rich appreciation for new-wave, post-punk instrumenta- tion. there’s something about his raspy voice. his piercing gaze . . . it‘s delicious.“ Junior Lily Morris couldn‘t help but to lay on a patch of grass near Olson as he slid into Mayer‘s refrain. ln hopes of making eye contact with Olson. Morris bobbed her head in time with each “Ba ba dup ba da da da“ the dreamy senior cranked out. The efforts of Morris were ultimately crushed as Lindsey Graffdeclared Olson hers by throwing an ample amount of elbows at whoever made eyes at the young singer—songplayer. “Get back. you harlots," Gratf screamed as she brandished a broken hockey stick at the nearby women ofAugsburg. “This man is mine!“ Olson declined to comment. but when asked about where he sees his musical career going in the future. he simply smirked and re- peatedly slid his right index finger in and out ofhis loosely clenched lefl fist. A-List BE‘I‘SY COLLINS Things 6- Stufl Friday, April 1, 10:10 a.m.-10:40 a.m. Augsburg Interpretive Dance: Dance with Jesus during Chapel! Price: Free Saturday, April 2, 7 pm. Colin Stanhill reads one poem in the Quad, then leaves The Quad, duh Price: $80 Sunday. April 3, 8 pm. Creepers: A telephoto lens photography exhibit Somewhere in Uptown. srsly Price: Your soul, or your first born child (You choose!) Monday, April 4, 9 pm. Weekly Whiners (and wine-ers!) Come get drunk and listed to acoustic emo music Acadia café Price: Free cover, pay for your own damn wine Tuesday, April 5, 5 pm. A selection of terrible lo- cal high school bands Early show so musicians can get home for bedtime 400 Bar Price: $5 Wednesday, April 6, 6 pm. Yoga, Yogurt, Yo-Yos, Yo! Movement Arts Center Price for one class (Yoga OR Yogurt OR Yo-Yos): $40 Price for the series: $140 Friday, February 31, 2012 Lecture Series: The Pretentious Art Object Walter Arch Center Price: Free for hipsters $114 Show less
Page 8 The Back Page Minneapolis, Minnesota Friday, March 11, 2011 Tips to fight winter weather skin SARA KLEMP Fcamres Editor Winter weather is hard on our minds and bodies. and many ofus are literally itching for spring. Cold and dry air leaves skin dry. itchy. inflated. and sometimes totally... Show morePage 8 The Back Page Minneapolis, Minnesota Friday, March 11, 2011 Tips to fight winter weather skin SARA KLEMP Fcamres Editor Winter weather is hard on our minds and bodies. and many ofus are literally itching for spring. Cold and dry air leaves skin dry. itchy. inflated. and sometimes totally unbearable. Though ads for fancy lotions and body washes make many peo- ple think that one must spend big bucks to get products that relieve these symptoms. there are several budget-friendly things one can do to combat uncomfortable winter skin. - Washing in super hot showers or baths may feel amazing after coming in from the cold. but hot water actually causes drier skin afiera wash than lukewami or cool water. Also. it is better to bathe less in winter months. Soap also dries skin and hair. and showering everyday can definitely lead to more irritated skin. - Some say that a way to fight dry skin is to drink plenty of water. While this is a healthy choice. it will not necessarily help with winter skin. If your body is dehydrated. your skin will also become dry. but if you keep hydrated or over hydrate. your skin will not reveal much of a dilTerence. For skin. water is best taken in through soak- ing in the skin. ' Afier showers. pat your body damply dry but do not over do it. Moisturizers work better when applied to damp skin rather than fully dried skin. Moisturizer helps hold water in the skin. and being a little wet when applying it traps in more water. - According to Howard Donsky. MID.. associate profes- sor at the University of Toronto. nothing works better as a winter moisturizer than petroleum jelly or mineral oil. Also. for those who are not opposed to feeling a little extra greasy. basic vegetable oil or hydrogenated oils, like Crisco. actually work well as moisturizers. They are safe and inexpensive lubricants that double as cooking tools and skincare goods! - Humidifiers are great to have on during wintertime. Winter weather is less humid than summertime. and less humidity in the air makes our bodies feel dry. Keeping one by the bed. couch. homework desk. or anywhere else you can have one will help add a little humidity to the air and keep moisture in the skin. - Oatmeal is a great heal- ing agent for dry. irritated skin. Adding a few cups ofcolloidal. or finely ground. oatmeal to a luke- warm bath sooths skin. leaving it feeling moisturized and less itchy. Colloidal oatmeal can be feund at nearly any pharmacy. - Use “superfatted” soaps during winter months to moisturize skin while washing. Drying soaps like Dial or Ivory oflen contain lye, which is great for cleaning but not for moisturizing. Brands like Dove or Neutrogena are superfat- ted. which means they have higher amounts of super fatty substances in them like coca butter, coconut oil and cold cream. Kick the can to the curb: The truth about soda SARA KLEMP FCAIIIIITS Editor Can‘t start your day without cracking open a mountain dew? Always substitute lunch forjust a diet coke? Though its common knowl- edge that soda is not the healthiest drink choice. it is often a go—to drink for many college students. According to an article in the lan/imgiuii I’mi. soda accounts for one-fourth of all the be\ er- .iges consumed in the US. which equates to at least one lZ-ouncc drink per day b) may citizen. While these statistics show that man) will continue to drink soda regularly throughout life. no\\ is a better time than e\ er to break the habit. Here are a few reasons w h) to kick soda to the curb: Sugar Overdosing Soda is one ofthe easiest \\ ays to heatily increase your sugar intake without realizing it. In a study featured on MS— NBCcom. most adults in this country consume 22 teaspoons of sugar daily. As the recommended amount for women is six teaspoons and for men is nine teaspoons. that is way more than what is healthy. Even worse. teens are consuming 34 teaspoons daily. which is more than 5 times the daily recom- mended amount for women and more than 3 times that for men. Sugar is hard for many people mama klems@ausbur.edu . to avoid. but one major way to reduce sugar intake is to cut soda from your diet. On average. regular fla- \ored soda contains about eight teaspoons added sugar. Often times. people drink more than one throughout the day. While sugar itself may not register as having a high fat con— tent by itself. your body may treat it as though it does, The liver converts glucose molecules into triglycerides. or fat molecules. Although everything we eat is converted into these molecules. our bodies benefit from other nutri- ents in healthy foods unlike soda. which has no nutritional benefits and is mostly made of sugar and flavorings. Heavy sugar intake leads to greater risk ofobesity and Type-2 Diabetes. as well as tooth decay. INTERESTED IN WRITING A FEATURE? Contact our Features editor. Sugar also causes a short energy spike. or“sugar high." which fades into a crash within an hour or so. If energy is what you‘re looking to gain from soda. there are other drinks that can give your body energy and are sugar free. Obviously. coffee and tea are two great alternatives to sugary soda (unless you can‘t stand the taste of either without adding loads of cream or sugar). Brewed cofi‘ee contains 95~200 milligrams of caffeine per 8-ounce sewing, while your average soda has about 25—30 milligrams. Black tea also contains high caffeine content. coming in at 40-l20 milligrams per 8-ounce serving. and green tea contains about 25 milligrams per 8-ounce serving. Coffee and tea also contain certain antioxidants and other nutrients that are beneficial to the body. While these are healthier alternatives. be aware that drinking too much caffeine on a daily basis can lead to dependencies and other health issues. Bone Weakening In a study conducted at Har— vard University. researches con- cluded that teenage girls who regu- larly drink soda are at a three-times higher risk ofbone fracturing than those who do not drink soda. The study suggests that drink- ing two or more cans a day can lead to this weakening. This occurs because soda contains phosphorus acid. which impedes calcium metabolism and building of bone mass. Adolescence is a prominent time in bone development. and girls have a slightly different structuring process than boys. The study does not conclude why this difference in development occurs. but it does prove that girls need to be especially aware of their bone health. While it may not matter much in one’s college years, women's bone mass begins to decline dur— ing menopause. Getting enough calcium in one‘s diet is crucial to healthy bones later in life, espe- cially for women. The skeleton is the inner core of one’s body, and without it. one could not exist as a healthy, fully functioning human being. Be good to your inner self. especially you ladies! Word Find Stroke Risk Recently, CBS News pub- lished a story that revealed a con— nection between diet soda drinkers and heart health. According to the article, people who drink diet soda on a regular basis are more likely to suffer a stroke or heart attack than those who do not drink soda. The study followed 2.564 people who drank diet soda every day and concluded that these drinkers had a 61 percent higher risk of “vascular events.“ Though it is better to choose diet over regular soda. the addi- tives in it definitely do not truly make it a healthy choice. Some- thing interesting to note about diet coke is that in 2007. an additive called sodium benzoate, or E21 1, was removed from the recipe due to studies that showed it correlated with DNA damage and hyperactiv- ity in children. Today, most diet sodas contain aspartame, an artificial sweetening agent. and high levels of sodium, and these things can lead to a higher craving of carbohydrates and weight gain. Next time you opt for “light lunch“ of diet coke and low-fat pretzels, perhaps you should think again. LZVDDZR NIRISHJ VUSSVUF LXAANCQ NGKHTEZ RELKCKC PKESDEX HXSRSTR YASIGEO EERI EZN KKGPZZE SHKCIRE IOEWARR HPRLQLF WCDXDQI NCKWEEMV FEQYQQNO AMJBLZYJ UTCITLEC MPATRICK ORMAHSGF BNILBUDV LFMEEGHR PELTYDHM MEDGNVDQ NDLAXIJW MILQFDAL SEUSUAXS R'NBGQCLZ YJDRUCCF IRELAND GREEN LIMERICK CELTIC GUINNESS SAINT PATRICK SHAMROCK LEPRECHAUN DUBLIN IRISH EMERALD EIRE HARP WHISKEY Show less